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@Alt_for_lewds
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Just another alt account to follow NSFW content. Young guy who loves artistic nudes, pits, piercings, long hair, cut cocks, and a bit of kink.
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Joined December 2022
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@griffinbarrowsx
I might just go slather my Griffin Barrows FleshJack dildo in some coconut products, for a more authentic experience 😅
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@itsstillkieran
That's what bugs me about all non-alcoholic drinks in general. If you calculate the VAT and duty on a bottle of spirits then 95% of the price you pay is going to the taxman, yet the alcoholic-free version in the supermarket is no cheaper. Overpriced flavoured water.
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@zachjarvis23
There's a company called Liberator that makes a throw blanket for sex that's soft like a towel on one side, and waterproof on the other to protect your bed.
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@alexxxgrant21
It's the way those nips are just casually popping out either side of that skimpy tank 🥵
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@_gra27
They're like a bonus crotch. You can keep them hairy, you can have them shaved. They're not usually visible, but sometimes you'll get a flash of them. You can nuzzle into them.
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@itsstillkieran
Personally I'd be more offended that they couldn't spend 2 seconds to check and see that dozens of people have already sent you that same question. Does no one put in any effort any more!? 😭
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@itsstillkieran
If that happens just stop dead, read out a sponsored message, and tell the audience that as of this month they were required to pay an extra £2.99 to get Jeff Bezos content ad-free.
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@itsstillkieran
Baking bread and getting bred; the robot functionality we've all been waiting for.
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@Boytarzan1
Start at C5, then as the stream loses power steadily go to C4, D3, E3, F4, G5, H5, I5. Basically anything to avoid the sound of it hitting the water directly. 😅
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@itsstillkieran
I'm not sure that Garnier Repairing Butter is supposed to be spread on a bagel 🤭
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@itsstillkieran
😂 I guess you'll have to try the joys of the Amazon mobile site through Chrome on your phone.
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@itsstillkieran
My worst taxi experience was when I was 19 and, through the course of the much older driver chatting to me, I realised that he was actually hitting on me, and then he asked for my phone number, and I was painfully aware that the doors were locked and immediately wanted to panic.
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@ewdayvid
When you tell him you're ready for his 🍆, only it turns out to be eggplant parmigiana. 🤭
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@theryansnow2552
That looks like the Angel Rivera dildo, so I'd say next should be the real thing 😁
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@AngelRiveraXXX
Went to some "porn awards" in London with a friend in the industry a few years back. He'd inexplicably been invited and they had him up on stage. I had to explain to some twink in the crowd next to me, who wanted start doing porn, why he should steer well clear of that guy.
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@dannyUK_1992
I guess when Mario's not around it's up to Donkey Kong and Yoshi to go after the power-up mushrooms 😅
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@qu1nn14
Think about the girth of the average dick you expect to be taking, then get a buttplug that's a size or two thicker than that, and practice until you're comfortable inserting it. Periodically use it in between hookups and you'll have no problem after that.
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@F466OT
I used to wear skinny jeans in the hope I wouldn't get raped. They weren't easy to pull on, and you had to be pretty determined to get them off too 😅
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@ultrasabrosoo
When a guy's got a beautiful cut cock like yours a shiny ring through the end is like the cherry on top 😍
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The right hand is for the touchpad, always. 🤭
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@itsstillkieran
I just assume it's a mistake, because it's so easy to swipe up because you just want to scroll and read their bio, and all of a sudden you realise that you've not tapped into that functionality and you're dying inside because a super like has accidentally fired off
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@itsstillkieran
I read it as Myra Whole and now all I can picture is a drag queen looking like a 60s serial killer.
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@helloim6foot4
I always liked that Oscar Wilde quotation: "Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not."
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@Boytarzan1
You have that long hair superpower though, where you can let it fall down over your face while you're giving head, and it's automatically sexy.
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@KarlScott99
If you pop the hard drive out then you can buy a docking station for it, which you just connect to another PC via USB, then you can get all the data off it. I have one similar to this:
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@itsstillkieran
In future your housemates will be telling tales "remember that time we had potatoes sprouting between the sofa cushions because Kieran thought he was a squirrel?"
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@utter_deckhead
Aww, bless. I shouldn't laugh, but talk about just wanting the ground to swallow you up in that moment. 😂
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