Premier Alan Winde 🇿🇦 Western Cape Parody
@AlanWinde666
Followers
1,898
Following
3,993
Media
570
Statuses
1,870
Sith Lord 🇿🇦 Woke Dick-tator of WEFtern Cape 🧢 DICTATORIAL Alliance 🍌 Free PALPATINE 🇵🇸 Only an unelected one world government can save us! 🦜 Parody ☠️
Cape Town
Joined November 2023
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#T20WorldCup
• 892110 Tweets
#INDvSA
• 455241 Tweets
#TeamIndia
• 308861 Tweets
Bumrah
• 250145 Tweets
South Africa
• 218909 Tweets
Italy
• 160743 Tweets
Switzerland
• 88732 Tweets
#SvizzeraItalia
• 80259 Tweets
Miller
• 74750 Tweets
#ViratKohli𓃵
• 73876 Tweets
#RohitSharma𓃵
• 70019 Tweets
Denmark
• 57709 Tweets
Jai Hind
• 52442 Tweets
ايطاليا
• 48295 Tweets
Arshdeep
• 48162 Tweets
भारतीय टीम
• 47538 Tweets
टीम इंडिया
• 44088 Tweets
Alemania
• 42803 Tweets
Thala
• 40886 Tweets
Spalletti
• 40069 Tweets
Suiza
• 35895 Tweets
भारतीय क्रिकेट टीम
• 34399 Tweets
#GERDEN
• 34169 Tweets
#SUIITA
• 33530 Tweets
#ネーションズリーグ
• 32870 Tweets
سويسرا
• 32866 Tweets
#HardikPandya
• 32786 Tweets
المانيا
• 31751 Tweets
Swiss
• 31739 Tweets
イタリア
• 31658 Tweets
#SuryakumarYadav
• 31562 Tweets
Dinamarca
• 25933 Tweets
Donnarumma
• 24643 Tweets
Dortmund
• 23523 Tweets
Xhaka
• 22821 Tweets
スロベニア
• 22624 Tweets
Klassen
• 20896 Tweets
#Champions
• 16771 Tweets
#RahulDravid
• 16573 Tweets
#RishabhPant
• 14653 Tweets
Havertz
• 13523 Tweets
#indiawins
• 13416 Tweets
決勝進出
• 10141 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Vote
@Our_DA
! We take orders from our globalist masters (WEF and WHO), support lockdowns and vaxxine mandates, promote gender fluidity in your kids, back Ukraine (US proxy wars), promote the climate hoax and will do anything to avoid referendums. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️ Steenhuisen lied!
15
19
56
I will be shutting down the motorbike delivery syndicates in the Western Cape. 67% are from outside the Cape, without the needed licences. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
262
196
1K
I'm happy to announce that the Western Cape will get
@Starlink
access before the rest of South Africa, starting 25 December🎄We have decided to override ICASA's racial policies. I will not accept yet another TAX on giving my citizens Internet access. 🧢🇿🇦
138
156
967
The DA have negotiated the purchase of ROBBEN ISLAND as Orania 2.0 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
87
35
238
BREAKING: Ian Cameron comes out as anti-vaxxer. He must not be allowed in parliament! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
78
61
211
To renew your dog licence, your dog must pass a racial neutrality test. We will not tolerate racist dogs. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
85
26
172
I've been awarded a double honorary PhD in Climate Change and Medical Control Studies from the Schwab school of Economics in Austria. Do you like my white broek? 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
80
19
169
Hurricane Helen, causing chaos in the Western Cape. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
44
23
159
In a genius move,
@Our_DA
has acquired KFC! We will be merging the brands to grow our voter base and I will replace the Colonel Sanders as the face of the brand. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
38
24
136
This highly trained dog can detect Climate Change. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
41
13
134
All bathrooms must be gender neutral by 2030! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
65
43
133
I'm proud to announce that men can now officially give birth at our provincial hospitals.
64
17
126
Cape Town has yet again been awarded the whitest city in Africa award by Condé Nast magazines. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
54
15
125
I'm happy to announce that the Western Cape Parliament will be rebuilt in 2024. We have finally identified a contractor with the needed B-BBEE-LGBTQIA+ credentials and booster shot records for their staff.
53
21
128
Still trying to arrest this guy. If you have any leads, please email me: analwinde
@wefterncape
.org.za
🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
39
12
117
Limited edition DA Voter Action Figure! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
27
30
120
This is what happens if you don't vote DA. The Climate Change will destroy as all. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
93
21
119
I am Alan Winde... I want to give you booster jabs, I want to turn your children LGBTQIA+, I want to keep the borders open. Vote for me! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
44
25
113
After a very successful pilot programme in De Waterkant, I'm happy to announce that we will be expanding our colourful zebra crossing programme to the wider Western Cape, with a few improvements from the original design as you can see below. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
165
20
114
Ships rerouted by the Red Sea crisis are facing an overwhelmed Cape Town port. My team has freed up 22% capacity by halting the export of all fruit grown by white farmers 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
40
14
111
One too many booster shots.🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
35
14
110
I found some well priced eTolls equipment on eBay. I'm starting a tolling project in Cape Town. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
20
14
113
We've had some complaints. Some DA supporters clearly don't like our parody accounts. 🤷♂️
We simply want to make DA voters think about their vote. If you want to vote for the DA nationally, that's ok.
Please DO NOT VOTE for ALAN WINDE!
He is evil. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
20
22
110
First Bird Flu tests in the office today. We will keep you safe. Don't panic.
167
19
109
Why can't we just agree on a date for the next pandemic? 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
21
32
107
I admit it, the Covid thing was a big scam. All fake, but I was just following orders. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
25
20
101
One of my favourite memories of 2020! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
45
11
87
I welcome Loadshedding Stage 16. Starting just after the election. We must do everything we can to reach NetZero emissions for our 2030 UN sustainable development goals! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
46
31
95
To improve the quality of life of our homeless, Cape Town, in partnership with San Francisco, will be setting up tent villages where vending machines will dispense low dose MDMA drinks and play music for mood enhancement. We are Africa's leading progressive city! 🧢🇿🇦💊🎶
22
15
91
I have just received word from my friends at the WHO - the next Pandemic is scheduled for 1 April 2024. Buckle up, this one is going to be a wild ride. Remember to report your neighbour, my email is analwinde
@wefterncape
.gov.za
34
8
91
*sigh* kinda out of ideas with my Election Manifesto...
Maybe I'll just be honest - Police and Rail is never going to happen, but you knew that
I can promise you:
More plastic straw banning
More free booster shots
More Woke ideology for schools
18
21
90
I will be introducing the Rainbow Religion🦄 into Western Cape schools in 2024. Teachers with the needed B-BBEE-LGBTQIA+ credentials and booster shot records are welcome to apply for positions as we phase out legacy teachers.
#ForYou
🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
59
17
91
Where can I learn to dance like a Dictator? 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
36
11
84
I have won the annual Most Loyal WEF Member in Africa award! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
26
14
81
To comply with our UN 2030 development goals, Climate Change is now recognised as an official religion in the Western Cape. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
38
25
81
Will I ever be half the man Michelle Obama is? 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
20
9
76
We are hiring!🧢🇿🇦 Join South Africa's leading political party as a social media manager in our climate change department.
Send your CV to analwinde
@wefterncape
.gov.za Please include your full booster shot history.
41
18
79
Internal
@Our_DA
research shows that 92% of Western Cape DA voters support the banning of plastic straws - while only 78% support a referendum on Cape Independence. Priorities people! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
24
15
81
The Cape Town port is in crisis! I will fix the problem by drafting a strongly worded email. I'm confident the ANC will resolve this.🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
21
16
78
Surgery successful! I now have a vagina. Should make cycling more comfortable. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
24
13
75
Our Federal leader training to herd cats 🇺🇦 A crucial skill in assembling our future coalition government. Only the DA can pull this off! Viva! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
14
14
76
Son of a bitch, I'm so tired of having to repeat this WEF propaganda. I've hired some politically moderate consultants to assist us in charting a more sensible course for the Western Cape:
@RealJermWarfare
@RomanCabanac
@Jonathan_Witt
🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
12
15
73
People have no respect! How did it come to this?
22
8
73
who did this?!
19
9
72
This new special devision of LEAP Troopers will be writing Climate Change fines. By UN mandate there will be no Diesel cars in Cape Town after 2025. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
134
14
73
After my sex change, I will be 2nd in command of the
@Our_DA
matriarchy! That's Miss Tyrannical Dictator to you!🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
26
11
72
Morning coffee and a shot. Feeling more evil already. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
16
14
69
Our new electric bicycle Ambulance service will take over from the dirty Diesel ambulances later this year.
@Our_DA
is fighting Climate change!🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
30
14
70
Klaus Schwab phoned, he's feeling a bit ill and says we need to speed up our project plan. We're now called the DEMONcratic Alliance. Await further instructions... 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
11
11
70
I'm not a dictator! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
16
12
71
I'm announcing a new political party: The DA+ I'm saddened to say that the current
@Our_DA
has simply become too Woke. Nothing ever gets done. Everything is about gender and race. I'm also supporting Cape INDEPENDENCE now. So long DICTATORIAL ALLIANCE - see you in the Referendum
19
11
66
Today's special - one booster for one chicken wing! available in extra gullible and extra hot. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
6
13
65
BREAKING: Last straight white male asked to leave the party. Steenhuisen: "I'm opening a PieCity franchise after the election." 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
19
9
68
Happy Pride Month to all Africans! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
52
7
63
Who will lock you up, vaxx mandate you and close your businesses when I'm gone? You need me. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
9
16
65
Testing the new Anal Probe Covid-19 test again. Every 2nd day I have Covid. Can't figure it out. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
20
6
59
My recent surgery is only the first step in my transition to becoming a black female. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
18
12
59
Touring the KFC factory in Ottery today. Inspecting the secret blend of 11 herbs and insects. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
14
9
62
Let's be honest my Covid vaccines were always Effective, just not Safe. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
15
13
60
I'm considering going for my first real covid-19 jab next week. Is it safe enough?
🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
46
10
60
Looking forward to another 5 years of complaining about the ANC and working with our friends at the WEF.🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
12
11
58
All this online abuse I have to endure! To all these pricks calling me names - let me just say: that's Mr. Belligerent Fool to you!
The DICTATORIAL ALLIANCE will prevail ✊🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
12
8
56
I am the dic in dictator 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
14
6
60
Internal polling shows that the majority of DA voters identify as gender fluid, after only two mRNA treatments. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
15
13
59
Border Post when entering the Eastern Cape today 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
9
21
60
The IEC is investigating allegations that parties have not fully declared their 'IN-KIND' donations leading up to the election! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
18
15
57
The
@Our_DA
2024 election secret weapon - I will become the face of the KFC brand 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️ (Kentucky Fried Crickets 🦗)
13
13
58
How often do you go for your booster jabs?
Annualy
92
Monthly
19
Weekly
21
Daily
515
225
17
52
I'm proud to announce we are expanding our Gender Neutral Bathroom (GNB) initiative to more schools with the financial backing of a Belgian NGO: The Non-Binary Education Trust. We must be accepting of change and respect the choices of these young minds. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
278
21
57
BREAKING: John Steenhuisen has failed a polygraph test. His pie detector results showed what we all suspected! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
18
8
56
After failing Pie Detector test, Steenhuisen is now saying he may have eaten the paperwork where he promised the referendum. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
10
11
55
We will be relentless in our quest to make the Covid-19 cures even more free, and more available, and we will double our efforts to instil guilt in those who don't comply. This is my campaign promise! 🇿🇦🧢🍌☠️
47
6
52
We are the lesser evil. Trust us. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
3
14
52
Simplified guide to understanding Western Cape voters:
ANC: racists
EFF: vengeful racist commies
DA: gullible Karens, happy with anything that's a bit better than the ANC
I love politics! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
8
17
51
I love democracy! 🗳️ I love South Africa! 🇿🇦 I just think democracy in the Western Cape is a bad idea. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
16
11
53
I had a minor cycling accident. Nothing to worry about. Should be back on my knees next week. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
11
9
52
Somebody has added my signature in support of the
@capexitparty
on an
@IECSouthAfrica
form!
I demand you remove it! They must not be allowed on the ballot! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
16
5
52
I'm overjoyed to announce that our Western Cape hospitals are FINALLY recognising more forms of birth. Including, yes, you guessed it, Anal birth. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
@AnalWinde
13
7
45
I'm happy to announce the launch of the Western Cape space programme! Leaving SA in the dust. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
12
5
49
Launching in 2024: Kentucky Fried Crickets 🦗🦗🦗 Collect 5 boosters get a free meal! 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
8
6
50
Hello darkness, my old friend. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
3
13
51
I fixed it. Relax, we got this. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
2
13
50
BREAKING: New law passed to enforce multiple gender identities and pronouns. We're leading the way to legally force companies and schools to adhere to the demands or our LGTBQIA+ community in the Cape. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
121
15
50
Our major donor has upgraded their funding requirement and the racial quota metrics. The
@Our_DA
will need to restructure. Only the very top management can remain white. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
11
9
50
Join the Karen parade - it's like PRIDE, but for our core voter base! See you there. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
15
11
49
BREAKING: Steenhuisen seen wearing sunglasses to look more like the popular Hill-Lewis mayor at local rally. 🧢🇿🇦🍌☠️
38
8
46
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to Climate Change.
10
4
46