Quad A Coach
@AAAAHockeyCoach
Followers
600
Following
150
Media
168
Statuses
735
Elite level coach with more A’s on my youth hockey teams than everyone else. email for free advice…. QuadAHockeyCoach @gmail .com #AAAAHockey
Joined March 2024
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Pinned Tweet
Hockey dads, if you aren’t standing on the glass banging while yelling instructions at your 8 year old during their AAA tier 1 full ice mite youth hockey game, why are you even there?
#AAAAHockey
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Parents, make sure when bragging about your child’s spring/summer hockey teams you add a few extra words.. no one cares about the junior flyers. Spruce it up, make it the Premium Jr. Flyers Selects ELITE. See how much more impressed you are saying it to yourself?
#AAAAHockey
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If you aren’t booing teenage refs and refusing to leave after being thrown out of the rink as a spectator how will your 8 year old know they are truly elite and worthy of playing AAA tier 1 full ice mite youth hockey?!
#AAAAHockey
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Breaking news: Youth hockey juggernaut Little Caesar’s has announced plans to open their own pediatric hospital with a focus on labor and delivery. Parents will have to sign a tier 1 contract once the child is born. That is definitely one way to boost enrollment!
#AAAAHockey
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Remember parents, when selling your kids equipment, nobody wants to buy a B player’s gear.
#AAAAHockey
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@HockeyThinkTank
I am an expert on youth hockey… just check out all the A’s in my profile. This is simple supply and demand… the more useless and completely irrelevant services you offer parents that are living through their children, the more they are willing to line your pockets.
#AAAAHockey
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When choosing tournaments, remember that words matter. No one will care about the “Spring Showdown” but everyone will remember “The CCM Blue Chip Prospect Elite Super Tournament” that just added $750 to everyone team entry fee right there.
#AAAAHockey
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Are you even a AAA tier 1 full ice mite youth hockey team if you don’t have a kid with 40 goals and 2 assists in 4 games?
#AAAAHockey
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If I make it to 200 followers, I’m going to make my tier 1 AAA full ice mite team do a bag skate next practice!
#AAAAHockey
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Did your child’s youth hockey team start 0-3 with a -18 goal differential? You are in luck! Start telling everyone within earshot that your child has so many other clubs interested in them for next season and really alienate your current team making it a long season.
#AAAAHockey
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Remember, when buying your children tournament apparel, quality doesn’t matter. If you don’t buy them a $108 dollar screen printed hoodie that is going to dissolve in the first load of laundry, you clearly don’t love them and please put them up for adoption.
#AAAAHockey
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With the weather changing, don’t forget to make sure your kids wear those $110 screen printed hoodies you bought them at the CCM Blue chip ultra elite selects prospects tournament.
#AAAAHockey
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Parents, if someone asks you what you are getting out of your child playing travel hockey and you don’t respond with “$20,000 in credit card debt” you have no sense of humor and probably think your child is going pro.
#AAAAHockey
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I applied for a mortgage and the loan officer asked me if I had recently made any larger than normal purchases. Could you believe he thought I was joking when I said I bought both of my kids sweatshirts at their hockey tournament?
#AAAAHockey
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A PSA to all the youth hockey clubs out there… It is apparently deemed in poor taste to ask a mother, who is signing up multiple kids for youth hockey, for her OnlyFans profile on the registration form.
#AAAAHockey
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@JeffLoVecchio
@AAABlues
Definitely leaving for AAAA. Quad A is the new thing. It’s like the razor industry, oh I’ll see your four razors and add a fifth!
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DO NOT forget to email your child’s coach after placements and let him know how good your child is and what position you want them to play. It helps the coach to identify that you are an awful parent and your child will probably be a locker room cancer.
#AAAAHockey
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Goalie parents, it is vital you stand on the glass behind your child’s net, even if you have to climb over a gate that has a restricted access sign. Your child won’t get the full goalie experience in yourh hockey if you aren’t a total distraction each game.
#AAAAHockey
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Youth hockey parents, please remember that in 20 years when there is an attorney on a TV commercial asking “Did you or a family member play AAA tier 1 full ice mite hockey? If so you may be entitled to compensation…” Forget my name.
#AAAAHockey
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Sundays are a special time during spring/summer hockey season where youth hockey dads post pictures with their kids and the trophy or banner that their child’s team won that weekend all over social media. Make sure, as a parent, you hold up 1 finger in the picture.
#AAAAHockey
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If you aren’t obnoxiously cheering for every goal your child scores in practice with no one playing defense on them, are you even a AAA tier 1 full ice mite parent?
#AAAAHockey
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@HockeyThinkTank
@MYHockeyRanking
You are trampling on parents validation for their child going pro. Apologize now! Plus I need these made up rankings to validate parents paying me thousands for an extra A that I completely made up!!! I have a family to feed… and 3 vacations homes to pay taxes on.
#AAAAHockey
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Parents, your child’s last name should always be on the back of their practice jerseys so they stand out. You never know when a NCAA D1 scout will be at a squirt minor practice. It also lets parents know you only care about your kid and don’t care about the team.
#AAAAHockey
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Remember parents, when waiting for placement emails for your child, it is good luck to completely roast someone else’s 11 year old to make you feel better about yourself. It is also a great way to signal to other parents you are a terrible person.
#AAAAHockey
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@HockeyThinkTank
I also find the team that has the more A’s in their team name, more buzzwords (Elite, Supreme etc…), and the most kids rostered, with fathers who have nhl experience, goes a long way too.
#AAAAHockey
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I have parents of a 2016 who are looking for a hockey advisor. Anyone have any contacts? The kid can barely skate but the parents think he is certainly going to be elite.
#AAAAHockey
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A live look at 8u youth hockey parents storming the
@AHFederation
headquarters demanding that all the stat corrections be made for missed assists after the opening weekend showcase. Apparently, a second wave of goalie parents are coming next for updated shot counts.
#AAAAHockey
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Parents, make sure you yell. A lot. Everyone will respect you as a hockey parent if you constantly bark out completely off base instruction to your player. Make people think you are some sort of hockey savant and definitely not a moronic parent who has never played.
#AAAAHockey
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If a parent says they are going to Toronto for a tournament, ask them what weekend. If their response is not more than one weekend, they are just pretending and aren’t really AAA.
#AAAAHockey
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Parents, if the hotel at your child’s youth hockey tournament doesn’t rival a P. Diddy party, once the kids are asleep, you are doing it wrong.
#AAAAHockey
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Boom! 200 followers. These 8 year olds are going to skate until they puke tonight at a 150 minute practice because that’s what you do at AAA.
#AAAAHockey
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I am happy to announce the following scoring changes for the next youth hockey season, If you are the closest parent on the glass when a child passes and you are yelling PASS, you also get an assist! If you yell for a child to shoot, and they get the goal… so do you!
#AAAAHockey
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AAA parents when they find out a AAA player from their child’s team got invited to some elite tournament team their child didn’t in the offseason.
#AAAAHockey
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Fun fact: if a youth hockey camp or tournament is advertised as “invite only” it just means the people organizing it sent out 50,000 emails.
#AAAAHockey
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Fun fact: the person credited with inventing “blinders” for horses was one of the first registered players for AAA tier 1 full ice mite youth hockey.
#AAAAHockey
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Tier 1 parents when they get to their child’s tournament in Canada and find out that the roster was thin so it was rounded out with tier 2 kids and the word “Elite” is in the tournament title and they are questioning everything…
#AAAAHockey
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Youth hockey parents, at tier 1 tryouts, when they know their child is already on the team.
#AAAAHockey
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A big question I always get asked is what is the appropriate shift time? Are you AAA? If so then it’s whatever you want it to be… it’s your ice and you are just letting everyone else exist on it. Don’t listen to some coach trying to make you a better player!
#AAAAHockey
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I once scratched a 6U player for telling me dinosaur shaped fruit snacks are better than the ones that are shaped like pieces of the fruit flavor that they are. You are the boss. Run the ship how you please.
#AAAAHockey
A friend’s son was scratched this weekend. He asked for advice. I said, why was he scratched ?
Coach said he wasn’t moving his feet!
Can we please start being direct with players ? Why coach them if we can’t help them. Scratching a player is part of the sport. But when
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Everyone, just to reiterate my profile,
QuadAHockeyCoach
@gmail
.com
This is a legitimate email and I will legitimately answer emails as poorly as possible.
Carry on.
#AAAAHockey
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When going to tier 1 parents need to ask themselves, am I doing this for my child’s benefit or for myself? If it’s for your child’s benefit, good for you but you will be on an island by yourself. The extra A is always for the parents!
#AAAAHockey
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With the fall season of youth hockey on our doorsteps there seems to be a lot of talk about at what age specialization is important? The only thing you need to worry about are the A’s and your child’s stat line. Nothing else matters.
#AAAAHockey
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It is important to remember during this spring/summer tournament season that you can’t call yourself AAA if you don’t hang 20 on a team that clearly isn’t in the right division. Let them know you play for keeps and don’t care if you ruin an 8 year olds weekend.
#AAAAHockey
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Parents remember… youth sports are all about comparing your child to another to make yourself feel better! Don’t get sucked into this building social skills and personal growth crap. Your child is far more effective on the ice than little
Timmy. It’s that simple.
#AAAAHockey
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I was at the CCM Elite Prospects Blue Chip Selects Invite Only tournament over the weekend, it made me wonder what makes a Tier 1 AAA Full Ice Mite Coach? It’s definitely the ability to make a team of 7 and 8 year olds cry on the bench when they aren’t playing well.
#AAAAHockey
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When posting highlights age is never enough. Your child is 11 playing against 14 year olds. You really need to shit on your child’s teammate’s and point out that they are all B level while stating that the team they played against was all AA players.
#AAAAHockey
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Their is no greater tier 1 youth hockey parent tournament flex than leaving your squirt players, and their teammates, unsupervised in the hotel pool causing the hotel staff to close the pool, after multiple warnings, while you sit around and drink in the lobby.
#AAAAHockey
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One of the greatest hockey moments I’ve witnessed in my lifetime.
#AAAAHockey
In honour of goalies week, this is still the most ridiculous thing to happen in the NHL the last 20 years, maybe ever.
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Guys, I cannot stress this enough, get your child’s social media handle locked down now for when they are famous in 10-15 years. You don’t want someone else stealing filthymits97 before your child is old enough.
#AAAAHockey
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Oh, your child was terrible for 98% of the tournament but managed to make that one lucky clear to set up the only goal in an 11-1 L? Post that blind pass up the middle and talk about how their vision is elite omitting the fact that they were -9. Sell the lie.
#AAAAHockey
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@BOSBruinsHC
A Boston fan defending Marchand is just as comical as a Tom Wilson fan complaining about Matt Rempe. Bless your heart for not thinking that was a slew foot.
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If you don’t cowbell for the 30th goal of your child’s youth hockey game like you do for the 1st goal, are you even a tier 1 AAA full ice mite youth hockey parent?
#AAAAHockey
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Tier 1 AAA full ice mite youth hockey parents when you ask why USA hockey doesn’t recognize it….
#AAAAHockey
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I am often asked why Quad A? It’s simple, the fourth A stands for Absurd. Oh, your friend’s kid went to Canada for a tournament? Well I charge parents $50,000 to charter a plane and hold practices and off ice workouts in Canada. We are just built different.
#AAAAHockey
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@Ken_Campbell27
Until you eliminate the financial gain element and the gullible parent element, it is not going anywhere.
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People always ask “Hey Coach, what is the best way to have my child show they are above everyone else?”
Maybe
- hard work
- being the first one out and the last one off the ice
- being a locker room leader
Nope, first step in asserting dominance are gloves like this…
#AAAAHockey
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Parents, the parity is coming up for leagues for the season. The next best thing to coaching is clearly doing the clock for your child’s home games. Imagine how much more easily your child can hear you screaming instruction on the same side of the bench as them?
#AAAAHockey
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Whoever wrote this is lying to you… if you mortgage your financial well being, I will get your child to the NHL!!
#AAAAHockey
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The biggest thing I always tell parents when they ask me why I feel their child isn’t making the top level teams is their name… no one wants to sign little Jimmy. Change his name to Kasen and he’ll be an instant star!
#AAAAHockey
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@22TMarshall
Tier 1 hockey at its finest. I charge an extra $500 for the contract signing. It’s a license to print money coming from gullible… I mean paying customers.
#AAAAHockey
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Another rule of quad A. Families of players who just switched rinks to play tier 1 must go back to their previous rinks for stick times wearing their new teams practice gear.
#AAAAHockey
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Shoutout to all the Tier 1 Elite organizations that follow me. You are the real heroes.
#AAAAHockey
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He’s clearly looking at the scouting boards for the tier 1 AAA full ice mite youth hockey divisions in the USA.
#AAAAHockey
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The season hasn’t even officially started yet and I already have 3 emails from parents about their child not getting credited for assists…
#AAAAHockey
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Big day in the Quad A hockey world. 300 followers means a lot. And I think only one or two of them are bots. That’s 75 followers an A! Truly remarkable. Thanks for joining me on this ride of youth hockey domination and here is to the next 300 followers. 🥂🍻
#AAAAHockey
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I’m only 4 followers away from 500! Share with friends. I’m quad A hockey, I should be at 5,000 already!!!
#AAAAHockey
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Bragging about your child leading the team, and the league, in assists is a great way to let everybody know that you were the scorekeeper for your child’s hockey team and can’t be trusted for anything that requires integrity.
#AAAAHockey
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And knowing who the biggest ass kissers are and which parents will donate the most money to the team in sponsorships…
#AAAAHockey
As tryouts approach, coaches are gearing up to make some tough decisions. The process of cutting players is never easy, but it's a necessary part of building a successful team. It's crucial to approach these conversations with empathy and understanding.
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Happy Mother's Day to all the Tier 1 Youth Hockey Mom's out there, that collectively agreed, in order to be taken seriously as a AAA youth hockey player, your children can only share a name from a selection of about ten.
#AAAAHockey
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Kids will be working hard in the offseason. Parents, make sure you are proficient in posting livebarn highlights of your child racking up goals in spring/summer practices while no one is playing defense against their own goalie. Be ready for once the season starts!!
#AAAAHockey
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Reading this reinforces everything good in hockey. After you get past all the crazy, find the good people. The ride starts young but can end in a moments notice, wether it be youth hockey, juniors, or even professional the take away should always be being a good person from it.
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The owner of OnlyFans when hockey moms have more than one kid playing travel hockey and have to find a way to pay for it.
#AAAAHockey
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There are no such thing as “vacations” or “off days” in youth hockey. Before your 9 year old goes to spend the day on the beach make sure that they shoot at least 100 pucks. If they complain, triple that and really show them their childhood isn’t theirs to have.
#AAAAHockey
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Youth hockey parents,
Make sure your child does not participate with the rest of the team in pregame warmups. How is everyone going to know your child is a star? Show the team he is special and too good for his teammates with their own special preparation, trust me.
#AAAAHockey
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Hope everyone had a great fourth and just remember, the founding fathers of America got the idea to use the 4th as a day of celebration to pay respect to the 4 A’s in youth hockey superiority.
#AAAAHockey
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With the season approaching make sure you remember the importance of youth sports…. Be the leading scorer of the team. Everyone else is just a spot filler until you make the NHL and your child plays with other ELITE players like them.
#AAAAHockey
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Goalie parents, remember when it comes to shots on goal, abandon reason. Puck dumped in for a line change and the goalie comes out to play it? Definitely could’ve hit a rut and went in… shot going wide but goalie makes an over emphasized glove save? Definitely a SOG.
#AAAAHockey
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Does your child think skating end to end with the puck and shooting wide of the net is good? Do they not know how to pass and won’t even bother to attempt one? Do other parents hate you for the things you yell during 8U hockey games? Then Tier 1 mites is for you!!
#AAAAHockey
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Teach your kids the importance of this tradition. It’s becoming more common than it should be that stupidity happens in the handshake line. Zero excuses. Shake hands, say good game, move on… you want to get back at them, beat them next time you face them.
#AAAAHockey
No wonder Peter Deboer has success everywhere, look at the respect of his former players
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Parents, just remember that if your child doesn’t have 10 hat tricks in 3 full ice mite games, youth hockey probably isn’t for them.
#AAAAHockey
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@HockeyThinkTank
If you add enough A’s to the team name, a lot of the problems are more tolerated.
#AAAAHockey
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