Jon Bird
@2002tacomasr5
Followers
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Following
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Media
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I am looking for a Mother to my Son who is a large bird
Austin, TX
Joined May 2018
I love my bird!!.
I’ve written about @2002tacomasr5’s precious Bird, a raven learning to talk in downtown Austin
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I thought schizoposting would be fun but it actually makes me want to kill myself.
People, this isn't normal. Open your eyes! We're in Texas and besides when have you ever seen snow that looks like this??? Looks more like some sort of pesticide pellet. Wake up!!!
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The bird I'm friends with learned to talk shit during our weekly cup hockey game. he's learning too fast
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if i was one of the green tomatoes and this happened to me i would kill myself.
Amazing tomato sorter.
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this is so embarrassing. now if i have coffee after 6pm i cant fall asleep because a weird muscle twitches in my face all night. i used to smoke crack.
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If you’re a guy in your early 30s, befriend a large bird. Get bird flu if you have to. This is not satire. You can become friends with a bird for 4 peanuts with shell on. Having a bird friend communicates status to women and business relationships. And if you befriend it right it
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2024 dating wrapped:. 0 dates.1 large bird met and befriended.
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@albertcamslut I think he's getting tired of me squawking nonsense at him and figured it would be easier for him to learn english.
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He looks like this
If you guys could retweet my bird that would be awesome. .
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People, this isn't normal. Open your eyes! We're in Texas and besides when have you ever seen snow that looks like this??? Looks more like some sort of pesticide pellet. Wake up!!!
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Oomf has allies and opps coming out of the woodwork (thats a hawk in the second video)
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Who needs a wife and child when you have a giant bird for a friend
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@femmaninomenon By the time I went to bed I was about to start calling people bad words, but I feel better now.
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Getting updates on my bird while I was away for the weekend>>>>
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Our friend is getting a little too good at the cup game. What else should we teach him?
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To everyone saying it is some type of snow. dippin dotz require temps of -40 degrees to maintain their shape! Why would snow be any different! Open your eyes!
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eat the rich should include stuart little. driving a convertible jag on a substitute teachers salary? yeah right thats apartheid emerald mine money for sure.
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@tractor_owner @attackackack The government is dropping snow that makes it hard for us to be consistent in intimate relationships. wake up!.
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@simonblackmn The Earth is hollow and inside is another tiny earth and that's where ands come from and they're smarter than you.
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DONT FEED YOUR BIRD FRIEND FROM YOUR OWN MOUTH LIKE YOU'RE ITS MOTHER
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If you can't find new music to listen to you aren't looking hard enough!
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I taught him that!.
Please check out part of my interview with The Bird. He says hello several times
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@Iowhangingfruit I will personally introduce you for the totally reasonable price of 100 dollars.
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Cute but my dick would fall out of them. Not for me.
i just got this ad for anti bush propaganda on instagram
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Okay Geniuses, if it's just snow then why does it taste like dog pee???.
People, this isn't normal. Open your eyes! We're in Texas and besides when have you ever seen snow that looks like this??? Looks more like some sort of pesticide pellet. Wake up!!!
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Thats a raven.
Every day of the last six months, the nights have gotten longer. This is because the crows are nibbling away at the sun. At sunset today, it will be so small that a crow will swallow it whole and there will never be a day again. Please spend today with the ones you love.
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Someone suggested spraying it off with water but I dont want it to soak into the ground any more than it already is
People, this isn't normal. Open your eyes! We're in Texas and besides when have you ever seen snow that looks like this??? Looks more like some sort of pesticide pellet. Wake up!!!
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That's him!! Wow he used to be so small.
Was backing up photos on phone and realized I HAVE met this bird. September 18.
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imagine you let your pikachu evolve into raichu and then it has just absolutely gigantic balls.
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Neighbor caught me chanting "Hefty!Hefty! Hefty!" to myself while I was taking out the trash so now I have to move.
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@albertcamslut Whenever he wants more ice he makes the sound of ice shaking in the cup. i dont think I have the equipment for sounds like that.
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I need someone to mail me some snow for my bird.
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youre asking girls at the bar for their number im asking them for help getting to the bathroom. my eyes arent what they used to be.
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Do you guys think there were twinks during like caveman times? Or did they just die.
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If you're a large bird, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will befriend you.
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Ever since I learned I could make s'mores in the Microwave I have started to view it with the same reverence and romanticism as a campfire or glowing hearth.
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Wasn't around to see my friend today so I tasked my coworker with giving him some attention and she came through!!
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healthy masculinity is peeing with the tip of your dick submerged in the toilet water so it doesnt make a sound.
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Please never leave me
Since it’s almost the end of the year, what was your biggest tweet?.
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Oh you're seeing a new guy you really like? I am seeing him more clearly and from much farther away.
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I'm siding with the ladies on the IUD discourse. My dad's buddy got blown up by one in Iraq and he was never the same. He even stopped hitting me.
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@42Pineapple I want him to tell me his name. other than that I will just be happy to listen.
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A man is never naked unless he is afraid.
a woman in her underwear is more naked than a naked man. a man has to have a boner to be truly naked.
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@doughliquor @ivy_wylder You think I would risk damaging my Shark Rocket Pro V2 for a joke?.
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