conniving eunuch
@1BBGGGUU
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Free Palestine 🇵🇸 / she/they / let me and @chaser_bait solve your drama, fill out our form
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Joined September 2022
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Pinned Tweet
Does your situationship refuse to meet in public? Does your polycule make you sleep on the couch?
Let me and
@chaser_bait
litigate your dispute. Fill out the form below and we'll tell you who's right, who's wrong, and how amends need to be made.
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i love meeting trans women. the energy, the instant connection. the part where we both try to figure out if the other girl is gonna cancel us for saying faggot. the sisterhood
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my core promise as a friend/lover is that i’m going to get very high on your couch
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i’m don’t want to gatekeep hrt but i do think we should be more upfront about the risks of feminizing hormone therapy. magic the gathering is not healthy
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non voice training trans woman speaks in perfect girlfag, stuns d&d group
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you’re gonna suck whatever comes out of these tomboy x’s
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okay so… there’s this thing called telling your friends you love them and me and my friends well… we’ve gone pro
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today i’m walking to the end of the world to prove it’s flat. time to leave my old life behind! good bye everyone 😎
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hey do you want to join our polycruel? no i didn’t mean polycule. fucking dumbass
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i taught some friends to do the piplup step, soon you’ll be seeing this at every club in brooklyn
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nobody will remember:
- your salary
- how “busy you were”
- how many hours you worked
people will remember:
- the time you cheated at the pro tour
- the other time you cheated at the pro tour
- to watch closely when they play you at the pro tour which you are somehow invited to
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you’re 8/8 girl. you’re the only ho i’d gaak. this necropolis rises for you baby
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i went to a new primary care doctor in 2020. She asked if i smoked, I said “yeah”, she goes “how frequently?”, I say “a cigarette a day”
she looked at me like i had two heads and says “so you don’t smoke”
I still think about her every time I light one up
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at the trans punk show cruising for a third for our magic team event
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took my girl to her first overwatch quick play game yesterday and she blocked my number, blocked me on all social media, and started posting gender critical stuff
took my girl to her first rave yesterday and said 'welcome to my world' and she replied 'our world now' and I will remember this night forever
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i like that whenever halimede drops into the comments of a trans woman she’s immediately given the role of Socrates in one of Plato’s dialogues and we take up his interlocutor’s. “just so, halimede” “of course, you are correct”
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Congratulations 🤩CUNTrol players 😏😼Mana Leak 🍆💦 is back so pay 2️⃣ mana to 🔒those subs DOWN ⬇️ send to ur 5 fav 💙🤍 mages or you play aggro 💔. Get 🚫 0 back and u miss😵 ur 3rd land drop🏝 get 5️⃣ and ur a slutty spellslinger 😫 get 🔟 and ur teferi’s 🫠favorite toy 🥵🥵
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i love straight t4t couples <3
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i do not “play” magic the gathering. this shit is not a game to me
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please forgive me if i shave my pits for this straight wedding
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@EARTHGHOSTPURRP
sending this to my group chat of guys named Dave and turning off notifications
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happy july, you’re only allowed to like this in straight ways
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me and the gooner i bagged by posting pictures i had no idea were bookmark material
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jd vance won’t see your tweet making fun of him for fucking a couch but your friends who fucked a couch will and it will hurt their feelings. even if it was only one time and it didn’t even feel good, like the material of the couch was not conducive to that sort of thing
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many of you would develop a gambling addiction in this situation
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thank you for 1k. i am so so so so scared of each and every one of you
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getting her dopamine receptors reliant on me by always showing up with a magic booster pack when we hang out
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i don’t support hunting but i’d chase a deergirl around the woods with a crossbow if she really wanted me to
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i was a normal girl until i got shot by a radioactive bullet and turned into bulletwoman. now i have a bullet wound and im radioactive so im dangerous to be around. and i can shoot bullets from the regular guns i bought illegally
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been getting into follower-gap play recently. they call me a lowbie subhuman, i call them a clout cashing bitch. moaning “retweet retweet retweet” when we’re close. choking me until i see stars and saying they’re muting an annoying reply guy
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@merrittk
when we sat down to draft he was staring daggers across the table at me talking about how he was gonna 3-0. i mulled to 5 game one and he told me i was shuffling wrong. after i beat him 2-0 he was so mad he spent 5-10 minutes telling me how he should’ve won
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well behaved women rarely make history but many of you should keep in mind that poorly behaved dogs frequently get put down
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bringing lube and poppers to a straight wedding might be aspirational but i’m nothing if not a dreamer
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i’m tired of this transgender shit. dm me if anyone out there still likes normal women 🙄
(trying out a new move i call the “Brianna Wu”)
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constructed players will never understand how sexy it feels to roll up to draft unprepared, mooch sleeves, pen and paper off friends, go 3-0 with 5 color garbage and hand drawn tokens and leave.
i pity them
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@hothqueenofsnow
imo one of the most important and inspiring events in the history of competitive magic
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got the polycule on a twin bed, that’s a three body problem
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tbh if someone i was dming with told me they were poly, id be pretty pissed too. like what the hell? i feel misled. i thought you were cheating
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just found out the rest of you aren’t using :3 as a performative statement against normative anti-cringe culture. that symbol is subversive and you’ve made it submissive! shame on you
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can we stop talking about Biden’s political gaffes? i don’t like him any more than the rest of you but i don’t think that should be a political topic. he can tuck if he wants to
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if you ever need to talk to a virgin i guess the quickest way is to post pictures of your cool bruises
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we’re all looking for free ways to beat the heat this summer so i’ve started reviewing stores for how fun they are to visit high
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i wore my moe’s shirt to chipotle and they forced my hand into the tortilla press and said they’d kill me if i ever came back
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hard times make hard men who make soft times that make soft men who make me soft but only cause i can’t get hard
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every time i like ur tweet, imagine me kissing u gently on the forehead. that’s what a like means to me
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Tinder: You got a new match! 😍😍😍
Tinder: Rena sent you a new message
Rena: *picture of me holding a knife to my own throat* pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
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[woman who severely misunderstands what it means to get dogpiled on twitter]
why do “bi” women always have such hot boyfriends?
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some ppl say you should make each letter of the alphabet with your tongue when giving head. thats fine but rookie shit. i spell “forest, arboreal grazer, temple of mystery, scry to bottom, pass. float two green, lotus field, sac forest and temple, cast sylvan scrying, find thesp-
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what are lovers if not friends you fuck and what are friends if not lovers you only do over the pants stuff with
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used to be, if a lady wanted to fuck a pokémon, mr mime had a pretty good chance. but that’s not true anymore. because of machoke
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it was a nail biter of a lez out july but we scraped out a win in the fourth quarter
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they had to tie it directly around his neck so his aides can yank him away if he tries to bite anyone
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“i’m a switch! i’m a switch!” i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
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i’m still thinking about this text i got a few weeks ago. please discuss
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they were so scared of her rabbits/frogs deck she got the round 2 by. don’t ask about round 1
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kicked out of the event hall for threatening to kill myself, changing the trajectory of this judge ruling
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“what is your childhood nickname?” awful security question, it’s way too easy to guess (fäggot)
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i heard the news and just want to say, if any god is listening, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
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@chaser_bait
when i was 19 a first time hook up said “hit me” and i asked where and she goes “in the face” and i panicked and meant to say “i can’t i love women” but accidentally said “i can’t i love you” instead
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