badidea 🪐
@0xabad1dea
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Infosec sorceress • mad ethicist • she/her • queer • 厄 • I’m not trans, I just agree with the lifestyle.
Amsterdam
Joined March 2010
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Pinned Tweet
IT HAPPENED
GLORY IN THE THUNDER NOW AVAILABLE AS WEB SERIAL AS I HAVE BEEN THREATENING FOR YEARS
do you want to read a story about a bunch of queer teens tripping face first into way too much divine power for their own good? OF COURSE YOU DO
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you have to play through every language to get the full, tragic lore
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For training week at work, we were given badges with different Among Us characters and told to look for an impostor.
Someone accused me and I took a stand that there was no impostor because the wording of the instructions allowed that. This vote won.
Reader, I was the impostor
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Algorithms are causing human language to reroute around them in real time. I’m listening to this youtuber say things like “the bad guy unalived his minions” because words like “kill” are associated with demonetization
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the only people I really feel sorry for in the crypto collapse are the ones about to find out what their spouse or parent did with the savings
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for non-programmers:
- botw2 will absolutely, positively be on the same engine as botw
- no that's not "lazy". you don't spend years and gods only know how many millions of dollars on developing an incredible game engine then use it exactly once.
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this is how I feel when a program’s output is written like “I could not find the file” instead of “file not found”
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STOP. SAYING. OUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS
WOMEN. WE ARE CALLED WOMEN AND THE SITUATION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP TO YOU
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The same people asking “shouldn’t Greta Thunberg be in school?” would ask “shouldn’t she be at work?” if she were older because part of the function of capitalism is to keep us obligated on a day to day basis and therefore unavailable for organized noncapitalistic activity
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30yos I know online: using the same username they picked when they were 12
15yos I know online: changing their handle once a week, identity cannot constrain them, they have no material form
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“we can’t find any good candidates for this role” you’re auto-rejecting people with 20 years experience because they don’t have a degree and then AI-sorting the rest by how Jared their name is
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settings and privacy -> security and account access -> security -> two factor authentication
make sure you’re not on “text message” because The Billionaire can no longer afford the SMS bill and your account could get locked out in a month
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gonna share one of my favorite video game implementation details again:
the Blood Moon in Breath of the Wild is really just rebooting the game to free up RAM. If you push the game engine hard enough, you'll get a spontaneous "panic blood moon" to avoid an out-of-memory crash.
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when very rich people tell you that they work a hundred hours a week or something absurd like that you need to understand they’re counting all the time they spend socializing with other rich people as work
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academics trying to reconstruct what went wrong in a thousand years are gonna think demonetization is a variant of demonization which is… incorrect, but only technically
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the evidence + my prize for canonically venting all my coworkers
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This idea that engine/asset reuse is inherently “lazy” comes up constantly and it’s always from people who have never built anything more complicated than a paper airplane
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(The giveaway was supposed to be that mine was the only amongus facing left)
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- Wind Waker, Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword are all on the same engine and you didn’t even notice
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your browser uses so much more RAM than it took to go to the moon because a good general purpose multilingual text and graphics layout engine is, in fact, harder than going to the moon
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just watched the AI generate an image that very clearly had the Shutterstock watermark on it and evolve it out over a few iterations, in case you're wondering about the legal circumstances of the training set
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I read the sentence “Java is a minimalist language” and I don’t know how anyone could say that with a straight face about a language that distinguishes between integers and Integers
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Y’all I got a copy of that 500 page SimCity 2000 guide and I open it up and istg there’s a tutorial on hex editing the scenario files
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@akerfoot
It was just a silly puzzle on the side, which one guy did solve, I just convinced everyone that can’t be it :)
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I’m sorry what
you… deleted the ToS from your website because… it wasn’t generating enough engagement?
@IndieGameDAV
I totally hear your frustration!❤️
Just to echo what Marc said, we are so sorry for our earlier actions.
Genuinely disappointed at how our removal of the ToS has been framed across the internet. We removed it way before the pricing change was announced because the views were so
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google cloud is underwater. to be clear I mean the server racks have physically flooded
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A phenomenon really specific to online friendship is you see An Art and think “oh you know who’d like this?… … oh, that’s who retweeted it”
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it’s kind of fucked that a basic element of zillennial manners is rating service workers five stars no matter how many issues there actually were because you don’t want to be the one responsible for ruining their life over a slip-up
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I just saw code that multiplies a pointer value by 1.1 and I don’t know what I believe anymore
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why is it that pirated book scans have lovingly hand-crafted table of contents metadata but a PDF ebook I downloaded 100% legally from a real publisher has a toc of “1. Cover”
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repeat after me: you cannot algorithmically distinguish “real” names from “fake” ones and any attempt you make is automatically racist
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passing on someone else’s reminder:
might want to check if you have any accounts where your only way to log in is through twitter authentication
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If my stuff gets RT’d onto the red end of the graph I get sexually harassed. There are reasons we don’t bubble burst
A study found that on Twitter, the left and right are generally isolated from each other, with retweets rarely leaving each group's bubble.
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nothing makes me trust and want to use software more than it clearly having a manually-written snooping feature that makes it complain I’m looking at other companies’ websites
Microsoft's new Edge prompts also call Chrome a "so 2008" browser when you try and download it 🙃
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if someone tells you that twitter:
- is "just a textbox"
- not that complicated really
- can be rebuilt quickly and cheaply
- is "in the cloud" so it can't go down
they have absolutely no fucking idea what they're talking about, like negative amounts of clue
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If you need to bundle multiple files together for a download. I am begging you. Not rar. NOT RAR. How did you even do that? Your computer has built-in functionality for making and opening zips. It doesn’t have that for rar. What is wrong with you. It’s not 2003
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There is no labor shortage. There is a wage shortage, a healthcare shortage, a vacation days shortage, and a shortage of respect from employers towards workers
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(There isn’t school today in Boston. These are kids who showed up on a snow day.)
VIDEO: Students marching in Boston from Park Street station to the State House as part of
#NationalWalkoutDay
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the problem with making a good website is that sooner or later someone will offer you an un-refusable amount of money to ruin it
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I somehow typo'd gmail dot com and ended up on a very plain webpage that's like "hi my name's Gail, you probably just mistyped gmail, I get 1.2 million mis-sent emails per week"
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as a computer scientist, I have no faith whatsoever that my mic in the 41-member call is actually muted just because the computer says it’s muted
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since I've been going off about passwords, some advice for younger followers: if you start dating someone and they want the passwords of your accounts, that's not normal cutesy togetherness. that's an unhealthy and disrespectful need to control you.
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every website that handles private information should do what Discord does in the javascript console
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this is transphobic gender policing applied so hard that it wraps around and tells a cis woman that she’s legally trans now whether she likes it or not
BREAKING: Caster Semenya loses her long legal battle against track and field’s rules limiting female runners’ naturally high testosterone levels.
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Someone on GitHub is providing a medically-tuned LLM where the readme says “This is an open-source project with a mission to provide everyone their own private doctor” with absolutely no mention of the risks and limitations. AI Ethics grade: F-
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Once-a-year-or-so reminder that Pokémon games will never quite recapture the feeling they gave you when you were ten because you’re not ten, not because the games got worse
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the entire reason it's called Pride is because we are proud, even when homophobes call it a sin. Do not tone things down for people who will never actually accept you. It never works.
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why. how. I don't even know how to convince a compiler to do 32-bit anymore
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"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
"Effective May 25, the Marauder's Map will no longer be able to display location data of individual students."
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if t-shirts got twice as efficient every 18 months I’d buy new ones
Developers will spend $4,000 on a new computer but haven't spent a cent on new clothes in 6 years and are still wearing the same t-shirt they wore in high school
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I've published my longpost on why NES games can be so vastly different while running on the exact same hardware! Ever wonder why Kirby's Adventure is 100x more technically impressive than older NES games?
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I have never seen this error in my life and I have no idea if Safari thinks there’s a security risk or it’s just REALLY offended by their brace style
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All old computer science papers are like “here is an experimental kernel design that has highly desirable properties but will only run at a remotely acceptable speed if you have 64GB of ram and 16 CPUs. Published 1971”
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I haven’t had a good kickstarter scam to get riled up about in a while but they’re selling a USB external battery that they say doesn’t need to be recharged for 1.5 years due to “the Triangle.” They do not explain the Triangle
(not linking, search pen*rgy)
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who amongst us has not found five thousand extra masks while doing a little spring cleaning of our crypts
Washington National Cathedral just found 5,000 respirator masks in their crypt (!) and are delivering them today to two DC hospitals
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photo of the people confused that an office worker receiving an endless stream of 2FA authorization requests would think “oh it’s bugged out” rather than “oh I’m being targeted for phishing in a network foothold attack that could escalate to total corporate compromise”
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one of these is the leaked official, original source code of Pokemon Emerald and one of these is a decompile made by hobbyists trying to reverse engineer what the game is doing
and you know I wouldn't be posting this if they were not, apparently, switched at birth.
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this is the wolf of the total surveillance state wearing the skin of a sympathetic cause
Apple will reportedly scan photos stored on iPhones and iCloud for child abuse imagery
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you can watch an AI overfit in real time by typing random Latin-sounding nonsense into google translate and it absolutely will come up with a translation
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Reading this 1993 book on game programming has reminded me of the time I tried to play sim farm on a pentium 4 and all my cows died within seconds because their hunger was tied to the frame rate
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“Where did you buy this extremely cursed .zip domain?”
“From a mysterious little shop that wasn’t there anymore when I went back”
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so is it:
a) a ddos in support of the strikers
b) IT people joining the strike
c) the database dying because of an Accidentally Quadratic operation to do with private subreddits
Identified: We're aware of problems loading content and are working to resolve the issues as quickly as possible.
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Cloudflare's argument seems to be "but if we stopped doing business with a site that exists literally solely to harass innocent people to suicide, people might ask us to stop doing business with sites that *aren't* objectively malicious" as if they'd... have to say yes...?
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life goals: never fuck up so bad that George W. Bush personally puts down his paintbrush of guilt to tell me that power is corrosive
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we desperately need the entirety of the mathematics section of wikipedia to be rewritten by people who have degrees in something other than mathematics. no offense mathematicians but y'all can't explain to save your lives
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Our culture is so sick with the anti-human concept of closed borders that the government feels the need to tell children Santa Claus has his paperwork in order and isn’t one of those illegals
Santa, his reindeer and all of the presents have been cleared by CBP for entry into the United States!
@NoradSanta
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Sorry
@Microsoft
but I don’t buy that the authenticator app CANNOT work without app use diagnostics from every single user
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just found out that in Dutch the past tense of milk is molk and I am unilaterally restoring English to this correct state of affairs
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why do so many websites go out of their way to block pasting into the password field? who is telling them this is a good idea? it’s not. you’re breaking password managers and accessibility, for literally no reason
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I’ve seen multiple reports of systems being taken down by y2k bugs that were “fixed” back in 1999 by remapping 1900-1920 to 2000-2020, and now it’s 1921
this is the very core, the pure essence, of What’s Wrong With Software Engineering
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I have somehow unintentionally activated an entire fandom I've never heard of. like people keep quoting this and saying "gabriel ultrakill"
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Windows 11: big red downwards trend arrow on the title bar!!
me: oh no what's wrong
Windows 11: the stock market in VIETNAM is down ONE PERCENT
me [does not live in Vietnam, does not speak Vietnamese]: 😶
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Thinking about how there are so many people, young men especially, who treat other people’s emotions as a game where you win when you offend them, and then they wonder why they’re so miserable and lonely
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all 📢 algorithms 📢 are 📢 designed 📢 by 📢 humans and 📢 contain 📢 human 📢 bias
Amazon built an AI to rate job applications. It analyzed 10 years of (male dominated) hires. Then it started penalizing resumes that included the word “women’s,” downgrading graduates from all women's colleges, and highly rating aggressive language.
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Celeste speedrunners: this game saved my life. it is my religion. I owe everything to game about girl go jump
Pokemon speedrunners: I am dead and this is hell
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DNS is probably the singly most successful decentralized system ever deployed and apparently there are people inventing “decentralized DNS” so they can over-charge for domain names on a blockchain (and they don’t even work with real DNS)
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Dutch person: the capital of the Netherlands is Amsterdam
American: so that’s where the government is?
Dutch: no
American: where the embassies are?
Dutch: no
American: where the king lives?
Dutch: no
American: then how is it the capital?
Dutch: I don’t understand the question
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we really need to move towards a consensus as a society that algorithms changing things behind your back because they think they know you better than you do is emotionally abusive
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when I was young, the resistance and bullying from men in infosec was enormous. They photoshopped porn of me, they mailed things to my house, they posted fake things in my name. At some point I became scarier than them and it all stopped
A space industry expert on how women are discouraged from pursuing STEM
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nvidia: we are very concerned that if you don’t add 2fa to this account we forced you to make, criminals might download these free drivers without giving us accurate marketing demographic details
your bank: sorry, what? you want two tractors?
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@DrGBuckingham
@qDot
What, and as a woman attracted to women I cannot emphasize this enough, the fuck
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None of us has the time to reverse image search every single jpeg we see, but keep in mind this sort of manipulative decontextualization happens CONSTANTLY in search of engagement.
@StevoLeblanc
@venturecommunis
None of these except for maybe the first picture are actual photos from right now. Hoarding is likely not as rampant as people are making it out to be.
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exclusive photo of the entity responsible for approving the .zip TLD
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I am literally laughing myself to tears over blocking instagram just to make blocking mastodon seem like part of a fair and considered policy
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we started displaying streamers’ pronouns on <big channel> and, after a few months of hell as every loser on earth turned out to complain, the chat is now a much more pleasant place because we’ve banned everyone who complains about pronouns
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Eric Trump tweeted and deleted, today, “Minnesota get out and vote!”
Which implies he scheduled election tweets for *the wrong Tuesday*
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@Taureon_
painting the words “I have feelings” on a box does not confer sentience !!! it is now the most important moment in all history to understand this !!!
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Apparently the maintainers of log4j already agreed the underlying functionality was a ridiculous feature and wanted to remove it, but were held back by backwards compatibility requirements
if your engineers are telling you something old needs to go, it needs to go
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I feel there are a lot of people who so tightly coupled their political identity to the tech issues of twenty years ago that they can’t internalize they *won,* Linux won, open source won, and we have different wars to fight now
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This is not a safety solution. This is a liability solution — giving owners of expensive cars a way out when they plow down people in a crosswalk. The idea that walkers and bikers need to be beaconed is criminalizing the act of existing.
Biden’s $1.2 Trillion Infrastructure Bill Hastens Beacon Wearing For Bicyclists And Pedestrians To Enable Detection By Connected Cars
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linguistics textbook: English-speaking children make grammatical errors at significantly higher rates than other languages and we’re not sure why
me: have you seen English? this book is written in English, you must have
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this is a refinement of the technique used by Morrowind for the Xbox, which would reboot the entire game pretty much every time you hit a loading zone because the RAM restrictions were extremely tight.
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it’s not PATH
it can’t be PATH
the PATH variable is fine I checked
the error is unrelated to PATH
it was PATH
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remember ten years ago when jquery was my personal nemesis because the way it was designed caused every website on earth to cast my username to integer
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