zeeztewo
@zeeztewo
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when you come back to the class after assisting the teacher in marking of scripts
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Just saw a man kissing a tree, walked up to him and asked him why??
then he said the government gave a new rule and it’s MANDATORY
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My Dad recently just gave me some pair of his trousers, not only did I take over his looks, I also inherited his genes
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An ambassador was recently caught cheating with her colleague,
In her defense she said she hates beds that’s why she slept on a diplomat
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@DAFLOWABIOYE
why y’all niggas were out there plotting n scheming, mama had us locked up cause it was time for creaming
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Teacher: if you don’t have money what do you do
Me: find a source of income
Teacher: then why did you write ‘hide your face’
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The Maths teacher asked us to find just the missing number in today’s test so I just wrote ‘age’
Because Age is just a number
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hit the goal I set for my self this year in realized profit
shits like a movie
God is good
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My six girlfriends are all having their birthdays between February 19 - March 20, I genuinely love them all, that means my heart is in Pisces
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Me: Dad one of the animals in our shed is missing
Dad: Which one?
Me: The Davido
Dad: Huh????????
Me: The Goat 🐐
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I know of a programmer that’s a drug addict, anytime I set my eyes on him he is always codeine
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While everyone was asleep, I stealthily went to the kitchen and stole from the pot of soup, I’ve been feeling something in my throat ever since, I think SOMETHING FISHY IS GOING DOWN
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Just tattooed a pic of a boob on my leg, I’ve got myself a Tit TaT Toe
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the best gift you can give someone isn’t money tbh, it’s knowledge
cause when that money is finished they might come back but with that knowledge they make more
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Here is a thread of all the dry jokes and puns I come up with that barely get enough engagements
go through them and air them as usually
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My guy always complains about how materialistic and rude his girlfriend is I just told him
‘Guy no stress naso agenda be’
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My brother has never seen an ammunition his whole life, so I had no choice but to show him a bulletproof
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Girls from Timbuktu tend to last very long in bed, when asked why, I was like maybe it’s because of their malleability
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This Traditional alcohol literally makes me do anything I want, anytime I take it I feel permeable
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If you get lost and you aren’t in street 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 or 9, you don’t need to fret because you are intensity
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“well he is writing something meaningful but I like his girlfriend unfortunately”
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so glad of how far I have come tbh
if it ain’t for my brothers
@Biggest4L
@breezy_bunmi
@michaelsmizzy
@entretienart
@dfriendlybrown
Shit won’t be possible we all know where we started from
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Just bought this new bottled water named I-J-K-L-M-N, anytime I take it I keep moving from H 2 O
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My crush keeps getting on the nerves of muscular guys, then expects me to be her hero, well I don’t think I have the strength to avenger
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went late to an important conference cause of wrong directions
It’s safe to say I just mislead and misinformation
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I had no money to download a paid game about crime, so I immediately committed an offense and got myself a trial
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my Korean friend likes to procrastinate a lot so anytime he tries to skip a task I just tell him to do it untimely
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My friend kept complaining of not knowing how to apply pressure anytime he makes love to his wife,
So I just told him to bring her to my Area and put Force on her
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*Maybe the pigeons didn’t fly because they don’t understand English*
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Her: You are a very funny guy, I hope you get a girlfriend soon
Me:
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This Goat no longer eats weed but fruits
I think it went from grass to grace
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Remove your SIM throughout the whole day
They no fit block am because of NIN if e no dey active
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Just cummed on this impotent guys babe, not only does his girl has nut he still can’t do nothing
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I recently misplaced some dollar notes, I look at the shelf and found a book titled ‘I didn’t steal it’
I went through the pages and found my missing cash
I am so glad I didn’t judge the book by its cover
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Just spilled some mineral on the floor I am trying my best not to step on this fantasy
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The President ran mad immediately after winning the elections
DEMOCRACY
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