zac
@zaconprozac
Followers
539
Following
299
Media
908
Statuses
13,851
expert in swag and going hard, he/him
az | 23
Joined July 2021
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Me: Tuck you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. they’ll kill you
Tuck:
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for reference this was my last grilled cheese which he also made fun of me for
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@bocxtop
i asked this australian guy at the gym to cancel my membership and he said ya ur good i just cancelled it. next month i got charged again so i go back and he’s like “weird, do you know who said they did it?” YOU!! THE ONLY AUSTRALIAN IN ARIZONA!
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jack’s a dick full time on his podcast
@GoodPodLemon
, if you like 30 rock i’d highly recommend it. anyways, last tweet in the thread i’m muting it now
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@BigTucsonDad
my signature greeting for the past year has been “wassup beast” because you can say it to anyone
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@BigTucsonDad
i got a jansport before i started junior high in like 2013 and it was $60 so honestly not bad, still overpriced but it hasn’t risen with inflation which is cool i guess
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did it really or are you just an adult now
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when the autistic white boy makes a spreadsheet you know shit’s about to get fucking crazy
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kaitlin olson isn’t talked about enough when it comes to sunny, she’s so funny
What’s a line delivery you’ll never forget?
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you may eat gas station hot dogs but i eat them in a deeper, more profound way in which you would never understand
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one time i bought this girl a chili cheese dog from sonic and she started crying
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my uncle called me on the day this happened and yelled “TURN ON THE TV” like it was 9/11
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elon musk snooping through grimes dm’s with his new admin privileges
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kids at the playground: justin bieber’s gay!
me (the woke 8 year old): i think it’s ok that he’s gay
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in case you didn’t get it, the joke here is “sexual harassment”
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Indiana GOP Rep. Jackie Walorski and three other people died in a fatal car crash Wednesday, authorities said
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why even keep the name if ur gonna cover the @ you dumb blue check fuck
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tesla based???
Texas cops sue Tesla over 'autopilot' crash that allegedly injured 5 officers
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had to mute that tweet people started saying my sandwich looked gross which was absolutely not true and hurt my feelings
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the last look i give my friend after i smoke too much and go low-poly
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just signed a lease but i can’t even move in yet because i have to go to chicago and do this this weekend 💪🏻
There’s something about the 9/9/9 challenge. 9 beers, 9 dogs, 9 innings. You have to want it. You can’t walk into the stadium thinking it’s gonna be a breeze. It will be tough. But those who want it, get it. You have to be strong and fight mentally. This is the 9/9/9 challenge.
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coleman i’m gonna rip your fucking Iimbs off
when you guys say a song is for the girls and gays can you please include me too. the girls, gays and zac please if u don’t mind
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i’m sorry i would’ve done the exact same thing, what else could that text possibly mean
😭 as a mother you have to explain things to men more than 10 times
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If there was a
@Fwd_Party
car it wouldn’t turn left or right. It just goes straight ahead.
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i’m gonna kiII myself this is literally my playlist
Men will be like “let me put you onto some songs you don’t know” and then it’s just these
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getting a surprising amount of people saying i should kiII myseIf over a grilled cheese sandwich
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sorry honey can’t protest your rights being taken away today, i’ve got a scheduled trip to home depot
Who has time to "drop everything" and Protest? Don't they have Errands to run? A trip to Home Depot? The dentist? My life is so JAMMED PACK I barely have time for a bowel movement. I'll say this about ANTIFA-they seem to have mastered a "work-life balance"
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when you guys say a song is for the girls and gays can you please include me too. the girls, gays and zac please if u don’t mind
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if i hear another berries and cream audio i’m throwing my phone out the window
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so saturday night remained peaceful
Saturday night remained peaceful, though many protesters were heard yelling expletives aimed at Gov. Ducey and other government officials.
STORY:
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@pissboymcgee
in high school my coach let me have aux in the weight room on max day and i player car radio by twenty one pilots. still feel bad about it
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i need prayers i hace to dribk one more beer and eat one more got dog please pray for me
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she’s a bigger threat to america than bin laden ever was
What if Lil Nas X's INDUSTRY BABY was by Michael Bublé?
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he looks like if someone yassified bam margera
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a lot of jokes now are just “i’m a pervert, women shouldn’t trust me”
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i’m pooping and i just made eye contact with a guy through the crack in the stall door, should i growl
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the federal government needs to seize all podcast equipment from barstool sports and send all male employees to work a mandatory 5 years in the coal mines
If Taylor Swift is going to be taking over our Sunday’s I’m going to need to see a sex tape. These are my demands
@PardonMyTake
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everyone watches anime at this point how long are u guys gonna continue to act like outcasts
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what ever happened to just, like, starting a mattress shop to launder money. at least make it believable
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“i used to pray for hannah montana so she wouldn’t go to hell for lying so much to her family”
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1 and a half hours until i go to the gas station and buy a hot dog and beer legally
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BREAKING: Two police officers have been shot in the area of the Ben Franklin Parkway during Philadelphia's Fourth of July festivities.
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“the amount of online knowledge i have”
ok let’s break this down, to understand this joke you have to:
1) have seen ONE tweet
2) know that there are bedbugs in paris rn
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have a good freakin weekend everybody! and don’t forget to get silly :P
-zac
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was at a party last night and saw a guy on the couch trying to finger his gf through her jeans then she sucked his thumb. asu rocks
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i actually met steve-o like 4 years ago when this girl who was grooming me at the time brought me to an AA meeting. super nice guy
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hate when i’m at work and i hear everyone whispering behind my back “he’s so queer-coded” “he was written by a woman” etc etc like guys come on im just trying to do my job 🙄🙄
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ajr singer just dm’ed me and said he listens to my music every time he gets in the car i’m losing it
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just got a notification that my grandpa (who died 7 years ago) commented on a facebook post so i went to check what it was and it’s just this
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