yarnsalad 🧶🇨🇦🎨🌲
@yarnsalad
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Quiet nature lover, makes art, spends time with fibre people, enjoys simple pleasures.
Vancouver Island
Joined July 2009
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Pinned Tweet
You know , when I finally run out of coffee creamer, I am just going to put Bailey's in my coffee every day. Not just weekends.
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Today I ended a relationship with my mom. 50 years. I couldn't pretend any more that I loved her. She deserves no more of my energy.
It's been a rough day, emotionally.
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I'm free. Free of my failed marriage, free from a mortgage on a house I moved out of a year ago, free from financial attachment to my ex-husband, and I am also free of a well-paying but extremely boring job that did not advance my career.
As of today, anything is possible.
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@bugbrennan
I don't have the energy to give to a self-absorbed narcissist who doesn't care if they impose on or inconvenience others. She has only ever served herself; growing up it was a loveless home and I was always in survival mode.
That's had ripple effects in the rest of my life.
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The knitterly urge to cast on five new projects. Can call in sick so I can work on them.
Knitting is therapy, y'all.
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@ask_aubry
I would love to see a women only police force that investigates stalkers, domestic violence, SV, etc. And an entirely separate justice system to punish those crimes.
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Black Lives Matter activist DeRay McKesson sues police // Bravo
@deray
!
#BlackLivesMatter
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I can't believe how wide this has spread - it's very clear that I am not alone with needing to remove toxic people from our lives.
I don't need to defend myself against people who say "but she's your mother" because honestly she was never actually there for me, she was not safe
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So now that I have enough yarn to knit 24/7 for the next year (at least), I guess I will have to quit my job and watch all of Netflix? Then I will have all the sweaters.
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Except for the four people (now blocked) who think I should have stayed in an abusive relationship. 🤣
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@RozCurryRN
There is an exercise in The Grief Recovery Handbook that calls for forgiveness. I will get to it when I am a bit more rested.
Thank you 🌷
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My secret knitting project is close to being done but Dan is home a lot right now and I am having to steal time to work on it. One more sleeve (will finish today), a collar, and then stitch it together. Might need supplemental edging. Will need buttons.
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We did not buy our car from the Nissan dealership specifically for this reason. I kept asking the questions, and the two male salespeople directed their answers to my husband.
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I am going on a knitting tour in Iceland in the fall. Aside from the suggested packing list, I am nerdy enough to want to check exactly my luggage restrictions and figure out how much yarn I can buy. I will make sure I have a very light bag or suitcase just for yarn.
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In December, I dogsat for two and a half weeks for a family who went to Ireland for a family visit. They didn't pay me, but they left me abundant gifts, a kitchen full of food, and several bottles of wine. I was also still working at the time. (Also I fell in love with the dog)
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1 in 5 US women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. 20%. There’s a rapist on the other side of all those assaults. You know at least one. You do. You know him.
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Having a tweet go insanely viral is stressful, it turns out. My heart is full with all the love and support. It's still pretty mind-blowing. 🤯 I wish that everyone who engaged with it peace. Even the people who were less than kind.
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At the Guild meeting today, two members showed off their freshly hatched emotional support chickens.
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@david_hayes9
@AjvictoryMD
Dude were you the husband in this scenario?
Also please stay away from women and patients. You obviously don't believe either.
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I definitely can't keep up with my mentions and new follows, but wow everyone I am so grateful for your support. There have been a dozen or so haters but HUNDREDS of people saying kind things. You are all my angels today.
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A friend just told me she's pregnant, so now I have to break my not-knitting-baby-blankets-ever-again rule.
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I'm getting better at protecting my boundaries. I have spent too much of my life energy trying to do favours and be nice when more often than not, my efforts were not appreciated, much less reciprocated. /End
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Still need to weave in the ends and block it, but it's done!
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I'm going to start living my life the way I want. I might not remarry, but have a series of lovers.
I have 15 years of celibacy to make up for.
There, I said it.
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I'm moving in with a friend soon. I will have my own bedroom, my own closet, and my own bathroom. None of which are falling apart. I don't know how long I will be there for, but I'm thankful for a soft place to land for a while.
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I finally told my sister today the extremely inappropriate thing her husband said to me on Christmas Eve 2005, among many inappropriate things he has said and done since, not to mention his open hostility to our mother.
I said as long as you are married to him, I won't visit.
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Just over two months ago, I cast on for that dress. I have taken it everywhere - conferences, meetings, dance performance, coffee shops, restaurants, and choir. Lots of people have seen it being made. It is my biggest and most accomplished work to date. I am very proud of it. ☺️
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@AngrierWHStaff
Is there a backstory behind the turn around with not giving California a wildfire assistance money and then giving them the money?
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Dress update: washed, laid it out to dry last night. I don't have blocking pins so I did the best I could. The bottom hem did not straighten out so I will attach beads on the bottom. Still need to weave in the ends. I also put it in the dryer for 10 minutes!
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Last summer I cut out the fabric for this dress. Today I finally stitched it together. I decided not to add pockets. I know it's not a flattering shape but it will be very easy to dress myself when I am incapacitated.
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I am moving out today.
I am looking forward to having privacy. To not having to tiptoe around. To not having to step over piles of crap everywhere. To not having to pretend.
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Finally a rolltop writing desk to call my own! $40 at the thrift store. I will sand and refinish it in the spring when it's warmer. 😊 I have always wanted one.
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I want to order more yarn.
I do not need more yarn.
Repeat.
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I'm having a bad mental health day, friends. Please send pictures of your pets. 🥲
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@Bryan_Aaron
I'm honestly overwhelmed by the dozens of people here that have gone through the same thing. It's so hard to cut ties because society guilt trips us for doing so. But we have very good reason to protect ourselves when our parents did not. Good luck!
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I left my unhappy marriage.
EVERYONE INCLUDED; Please brag to me about a thing you did in 2023 that you’re proud of?
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In Home Depot this morning, someone thanked me for wearing a mask. And I thanked him for wearing a mask!
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Just found out that on my wedding day in 2008, my now ex-husband told someone I was his meal ticket.
This information is not sitting well with me. 😡
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Also, the previously mentioned yarn shop. I knew it was dangerous to go in lol
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A couple more big things and I will be completely free of my former life with my ex. I am waiting for a document so I can file my taxes - I have not done my own taxes since 2008.
And tomorrow I will sell my van. My van that I camped in, and moved all my things from Utah to BC.
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Ok Twitter. I am ready to share: my h*sband and I are separating. 😔
Looking at the world with a view of being single again has been interesting. But I am definitely feeling less sad since making the decision.
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A couple of months ago, I bought a complicated pattern and fussy yarn to make a nice linen lace summer top. The pattern is 16 pages. I am an advanced knitter. No problem, right?
After starting over twice (the beginning section involved German short rows AND lace),
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@banter44
@RozCurryRN
I have no more energy to give her, and I have just come through other major life transitions like getting divorced, selling my house, and moving back to Canada. I'm clearing out all the negativity and harm to make space for joy and love.
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Recently I catsat for some new friends, for two weekends a couple of weeks apart. No gifts, no fridge full of food, and barely a thanks. And those cats had a 4/day feeding schedule.
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The friends I catsat for are going away again soon and have sent an email to all their friends asking for help with cat care while they are away. I will remain silent here, as I don't know them well enough to say why I won't sit for them again.
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Universal basic income
Describe WHAT YOUR CITY NEEDS TO DO to become a better city for people in 3 words or less.
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This might seem weird but I actually feel happy today.
Like, it's such an unfamiliar feeling that I actually forgot what it was like to feel it.
Between the job interview next week & spending my morning with fibre loving ladies, I am feeling happy. I could get used to this!
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Of course they want me to wear something that's going to be easy to put on afterward. I am going to wear my giant obnoxious lime green knitting dress. It has pockets! It's great in hot weather! And it's super easy to throw on! I made this a couple years ago.
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I took my excellent caregiver, out for dinner tonight. When we got to the restaurant, a car without a handicap tag was in the handicap spot.
I got out my Sharpie, yes I did.
Door dash drivers, "handicap" does not mean temporary convenience parking. 😡
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The perfect job for me was posted today. I applied, I hope I get invited to an interview next week.
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@KimreyThinks
That's part of the problem - I don't love her. I don't know if I ever did. It's not something we ever said in my family.
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I saw a bear in the forest today.
I probably should have been scared, but my first thought was: if not friend, why friend shaped? 😂
In the end, the bear saw me and disappeared off the trail as I noisily and flamboyantly made my way past.
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Today I was mad at my ex for taking me away from this.
In my nearly 10 years of living in the Utah desert, I longed to be back in the West Coast rainforest.
Here is where my ❤️ is.
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@Eyeswideopen69
@PlanetBGlasgow
@dondeeflugs
You could have chosen to not say something, but instead you had to be a dick head.
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It didn't sound like she was offering payment, and I would need to bring all my own supplies. And the type of dog she has requires a *lot* of work. So I declined. In the end, it's too much work to do for free.
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Because I am still unsettled (staying in some friends' guest room until I get a job and can move out), maybe people think I have all the time in the world? Recently I was asked by an acquaintance to dogsit for 10 days while she was in Mexico.
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@FiveByFiveTimes
@bugbrennan
I got that from my dad in 2013 before I went NC with him. So this isn't my first rodeo, but I have contingency plans in place. Thanks! 🙏🏻
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I'm attending an online conference this week about trauma and healing and the sessions have been amazing. I'm having so many realizations about my experience growing up and what has shaped me.
Introspection is hard but _so_ worth doing.
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A member of the spinners and weavers guild I belong to was giving away some alpaca fleeces. I have two of them! And I borrowed a spinning wheel from the guild so I can learn to spin again.
I'm so excited. 😊
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The friend I am staying with went through divorce last year and she has ALL the self care tricks. She is giving me the space, the quiet, and the support I need. I am definitely feeling supported right now. 💕
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Tell me things will get better, friends. I'm having a hard time staying positive and optimistic. 😞
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I went to a job fair today at VIU and made some great contacts. Lots of people asked for my resume, a recruiter at an organization where I have applied for more than 70 jobs wants to put me in touch with the hiring manager, and I learned about a lot of government programs.
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Conference knitting. A cowl with silk/merino. Mostly cream colors with pale yellow and pale sage.
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I'm house sitting now and I don't know how many launderings it will take to get the smell of their detergent out of the bedding.
Am I really far more sensitive to strong smells than other people?
It will all get a good airing outside as well.
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I wonder how my health and energy levels will change once I am on my own. The nurse at the ortho clinic told me anecdotally that a lot of people find they no longer need antidepressants when they get divorced.
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I am now in my friend's spare bedroom/basement. I am exhausted. It was hard to leave. But I did it.
Thanks to everyone for so much support.
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I have been applying for some really interesting jobs. And people I know are reaching out to people they know, and it seems like sooner or later, the Perfect Job will come. Feeling good about that. 😊
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2023 has been a hell of a year for me. I ended my marriage, moved out, got divorced, had hip replacement surgery, started trauma therapy, moved back to Canada, and hopefully soon I will have a new job and my own place to live.
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Feeling simultaneously badass and exhausted. I have moved all of my things into my storage locker in Spokane. Now I am at the state park campground for four nights. I will work remotely via public library branches. It's 96⁰ and *humid* 🥵
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@divinetechygirl
Honestly this was me in the job I just left. No professional development, no feedback. My boss claimed that I was one of her most valuable employees, was super sad when I told her I was leaving, but doesn't realize that it was a dead end for me.
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Do other people get excited about the salad they just made for lunch
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The joy of removing my ex husband from my health insurance and benefits mitigated the rage I experienced when I learned he saw me as a meal ticket.
I can't wait to get my settlement and be done with this. I'm glad he didn't try to fight me.
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It's going to take her a while to process that, I expect, but her marriage to that guy in particular is one of the main reasons she and I have had such a strained relationship. I told her I will no longer pretend everything is fine, because it isn't.
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After my 6-week follow-up, I decided to go from restorative yoga to gentle yoga. I cannot believe how much more flexible and strong I am. I never imagined I could do standing balance poses at this point. My healing is going so well!
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Huh. It rained after all. Ok well let's pray for gun control? Right?
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I'm learning that when you are processing grief and trauma, and you come to know yourself, your circle of people shrinks. Some people disappear right away, some people fade out, some have to be kicked out. The people that remain, they have my love and loyalty.
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Dear Universe: I would really like a job, soon.
I have had my things in storage and stayed with friends (houseguest/pet sit) for 14 months and I would really love to have my own home. 🙏🏻
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I woke up too early and spent two hours knitting while listening to an audiobook. I have two hours left of the 31h book, it's due tomorrow. I will finish it today.
This photo is yesterday's progress.
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This is why I needed to leave Utah. Forest next to the ocean.
That centuries old prescription of time by the sea to calm one's nerves? That's exactly what I need and exactly what I am doing for the next month.
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When I was clearing out my storage locker yesterday, there was a woman in the unit across from mine. Her 10x10 unit was FULL of shelves FULL of bolts of fabric. She had a cutting table set up and looked like she was cutting fabric to make Christmas quilts. 😍🌲
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