✩
@yanderotic
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20 / he it / bpdtistic / scara wanderer irl / #shedtwt
🥩 163cm ; ugw: 37kg
Joined January 2023
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Pinned Tweet
you know you’re disordered when a normal meal feels like binging
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moots that i remember by name‼️
jinx
mimi
spencer
raye
gek
vincent
sandy
scara
wren
tobi
soleila
alatus
schlogni
pantamy
saphy
kaori
xavier
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hot boys will crave attention then have a full blown panic attack when ppl talk to them (i am hot boys)
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⸺ my experience with social anxiety disorder / social phobia:
a thread 🧵🪡
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hey um. i wanted to lyk that you guys can reach out to me anytime like. ik im not in the best mental condition either but i’ll try my best to be of help.
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would you chill with me?
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i’m scared that you will leave so i’ll keep pulling at your sleeve
or maybe i’ll push you so hard away you’ll be so far from me
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it fucking pisses me off that ppl leave garbage on the beach/streets where all kinds of animals can end up eating it ugh
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going to the beach w gf and grandma later but idk what to wear bc i hate myself👍👍
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౨ৎ if u see this, do it .ᐟ
name: killian or alois
pronouns: he/it
height: 163cm
sexuality: lesbian?
sign: aquarius
piercings: only earrings for now
tattoos: none
fav colour: red
fav food: ravioli
fav animal: cats, bats
status: taken<3
౨ৎ if u see this, do it .ᐟ
name : schlogni (not real name)
pronouns : she/her
height : 161cm
sexuality : omni (pref women)
sign : scorpio
piercings : none :(
tattoos : none
fav colour : green& blue
fav food : fried noodles w chicken
fav animal : dogs& bears
status : single
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how alike are we? 10% for each 🦇🩸
• birth month: january
• zodiac sign: aquarius
• status: taken
• fav color: red
• fav season: winter
• fav show: adventure time
• fav movie: atsv
• eye color: brown
• hair color: brown -> black & red
• sexuality: lesbian?
how alike are we? 10% for each 🐾
• birth month: april
• zodiac sign: taurus
• status: single
• fav color: pink/black
• fav season: spring
• fav show: mlp
• fav movie: a silent voice
• eye color: brown
• hair color: brown
• sexuality: pansexual
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umm. is anyone available to talk?
i’m conflicted abt something idk what to do i need an advice-
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ummm. would you guys be interested if i made a thread about my experience w social anxiety disorder
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my gf is apparently mad at me but my autistic ass doesn’t get why i’m literally shaking from anxiety👍👍
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WHY CANT I BE FAMOUS I LIVE FOR THE FAME (he just has a desire for praise)
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i want to go back to when i was 16. i used to eat so little, the doctor would tell me i was underweight and my friends complimented me for being thin all the fucking time. why did i have to ruin everything
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i hate being on antipsychotics they make me so damn dizzy and sleepy and increase my appetite
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um, you do realize ana is a mental disorder and not a weight disorder right? also why tf are you bullying a minor, thats fucked up
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#shedtwt
reasons why you should follow me:
• im super cool and slay
• im wanted in many countries
• i haven’t gotten attention as a child
• i’m effortlessly charismatic
• exclusive mentally ill content💋
• PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE
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also i hate my feminine chest and features i wanna hide them but grandma will ask questions if i do aaaahhhhhhffgggg
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whenever i started writing a msg i would end up overthinking and changing all the words until the text made no sense anymore. “i look like an idiot”, “i’m boring”, “i will be made fun of”, “they will hate me”. i was terrified of my phone and started having panic attacks.
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ok so, social anxiety is not just being shy or awkward around strangers. when i was 16 and my disorder became severe, for a very long time i couldn’t bring myself to interact w anyone, not even my close friends, not even online. i was completely isolated.
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“hey do you play genshin?”
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i can’t restrict for a week bc i’ll be staying at my grandma’s place (who forces me to eat) guess i’m gonna gain hahaha kms
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why can't i erase her
why doesn't she leave me
she's dead to me. her name is dead to me
i'm not her im not her i'm not her
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i want to say thanks, despite the fact they will never read this, to all my friends who stayed by my side even when i haven’t talked to them for months. and to my gf who supports me whenever i’m anxious or scared. ily.
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i’m getting sleepy so um, the thread ends here. do y’all want a thread of how to get better or how to help someone who has it? idk
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funny thing is that i genuinely thought everyone was lying and making fun of me because i felt fat, i was ashamed of how my body looked and cried all the fucking time
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i would freeze and dissociate whenever ppl were around me, so i started to be avoidant irl and ghosting everyone online. i felt like everyone was constantly watching me, judging me, making fun of me. i saw every glance, laugh and whisper as a threat and a sign i was not wanted.
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i’ve suffered from social anxiety since i was little (6-7), but i actually used to be a friendly and energetic child before. in 1st grade, along w parallel trauma happening, i started getting bullied and it slowly warped my self-image and the way i perceive people.
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i’m slowly realizing with the help of my therapist that bullying truly messed me up. admitting i have been bullied (for like 7+ years) is still embarrassing to me and i feel like i’m not valid, like it wasn’t bad enough, but my therapist, friends and gf all say it was bad.
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the pandemic did nothing but make it worse, it was basically fuel on the fire. at first i was happy to be alone, but when the lockdown ended, my panic attacks had become invalidating.
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had a breakdown in front of my gf and tried to punch myself and the wall i feel awful i didn’t want her to see me like that i’m so selfish selfish selfish
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