jay
@xxjaysephxx
Followers
641
Following
777
Media
270
Statuses
4,947
sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit (at cs) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
chicago 🏳️🌈 🇹🇩
Joined May 2020
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Pinned Tweet
if i whiff one more shot on counter strike global offensive i’m going to turn myself into a statistic on a dot gov site
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austin would open fucking gloves in the middle of me crying in a call with him LMAOO i wish my clipping software clipping my ugly ass voice ass i was sobbing IM DEAD
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thank you for your perfect game
@CounterStrike
, no need for an anti cheat :) (no audio bc i was literally screaming for most of this round as he chased me from heaven on A all the way to spawn)
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it was so nice to meet everyone at Dallas, old friends and new friends alike. the energy was so welcoming and i had the most fun i’ve had in a long time. thank you to everyone for being so kind, im so glad i met you all. i hope everyone has a safe trip home. till the next one ❤️
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what skin y’all copping? the M4A4 divine furry is moaning my name personally
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they don’t know the next CS2 pro and his twitch mod are in the crowd…
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i’m glad i don’t have to spend another valentine’s day with a bouquet in my hand and my heart breaking by the door where i left my shoes because my partner forgot again when i would’ve been happy with wildflowers from the side of the road. anything to show me you spared a thought
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unfortunately for all of you i did not pass in my sleep and i’m back to terrorise matchmaking and make it all of your problems
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gg 2023, it was a good run. looking forward to more good times in 2024. i’m so thankful for everyone i’ve met this year, and for being welcomed into the cs community after committing the atrocity of being a valorant player. i am reformed now. love you guys <3
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any ladies (and others) still at the philadelphia frag please be careful going out tonight, bring a buddy, don’t go out alone. just caught wind of a girl who got drugged when she was alone at a bar. please stay safe and pass it on.
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no matter how much i deny myself, i have always been worthy of love. and so are all of you, don’t forget to reassure yourself. but for today, i reassure you ᥫ᭡
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dropping 700 bucks to go to a CS2 LAN to play fuckin DND is how i assert my dominance
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i suck at spending money on myself so imma make it a game >:)
level 5 faceit i buy the bloodsport
level 8 i buy the karambit
level 10 (in 2025) i buy the gloves
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@VALORANTLeaksEN
the only way y’all are dragging my ass back to valorant is with lesbians…. keep up the good work
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some of my friends have 9k hours on counter strike but i don’t think i even have 9k hours of being happy throughout my entire life
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love my kids celebrating mother’s day with me, thanks for the balloon
@bibiahhhn
@JuliCSGO
@namgisblunt
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when he checks in on u every week 👉👈
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someone scraped my goddamn car in the parking lot of the best buy i am never getting over this i’m getting the IRS involved
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get to know me ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
★ age - old enough to be your step mommy
★ sign - Cancer
★ birthday - July 13th
★ height - 6’3
★ status - we definitely out here
★ kids - do cats count
★ piercings - 12
★ tattoos - 1
★ fav color- brown
get to know me ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
★ age - 29
★ sign - Taurus
★ birthday - May 2
★ height - 5’11
★ status - divorced
★ kids - 10000000
★ piercings - 1
★ tattoos - 0
★ fav color- emerald :3
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the fuck is this esex i keep hearing about? y’all fuckin y’all routers or sum? all i know is smoke ebox and rush canals. keep your head in the game boys o7
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tiny waist, big ass, pretty tits -
i got none of those but i do have autism and i will show u my cool rock collection without you asking
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hardest flick of the century or accident, i still bang ur mom after
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anyone want a mean short bitch? will annoy the gay out of u, free conversion therapy. you can have her for the low price of one blue corn chip (optional)
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o lone plastic banana in starbucks parking lot at 6 am in the morning, how i resonate with you
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easiest way to get bitches is tell em you’re forklift certified, happy holidays yall that’s my rizz tip for the month
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my therapist told me i should go to AA but i pulled up to the function and all they had was tow trucks and tires n shit
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the moment i realised i was home was when i pulled off the highway and into downtown chicago and the first thing i saw was a fully nude man except for his durag
home sweet home
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if u wanna know what brain rot the internet has given me this month so far, i almost sent my supervisor a response of “i no no wanna ):” in response to him telling me it’s almost time for the bimonthly reports
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gaming is super cool, but don't forget to go out and get some fresh air every now and then. gotta feel the wind on your nipples or whatever the saying is, yea?
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had a girl ask what’s wrong with me, had to pull out a cvs receipt length list
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when the doctor told me i have aspergers i said hell yea thats my favourite vegetable
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can everybody pls step off my neck rn i’ve had 10, TEN separate people message me variations of “you’re gay” this week AND THEY DONT KNOW EACH OTHER LIKE WHAT
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@thnkjelly
i think about her so often. the sweetest soul who deserved everything. i hope she knows how loved she is, whatever meadow she may be wandering
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today, on this month’s level of brain rot update, i give you: i tried to unlock my work drawer by clicking my car key fob…multiple times
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there’s domain expansion in val now i’m fuckin going back till cs2 is playable
ISO Abilities //
#VALORANT
(X / ULT) Kill Contract
● EQUIP an interdimensional arena. FIRE to hurl a column of energy through thebattlefield, pulling you and the first enemy hit into the arena. You and your opponent duelto the death.
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so i potentially have put together a band again, bunch of old middle aged dads. there are some time constraint issues; they have mortgages and kids and wives. all i have is depression 🧍♀️
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it’s “you mask really well, i couldn’t even tell you were autistic” until i pull out the 300 slide FNAF powerpoint
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if you wanna know how out of it i am, i scared myself when i walked in front of the mirror into the bathroom just now
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did yall know that we share 40-90 % of our dna with cabbages, some people more than others
the randoms i get in CS must be the mfs with that 89%
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i hate wet clothes more than anything but i would do anything to be rained on with you
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u ever moan loudly to cover the sound of u farting but the thunderous clap of your voluptuous cheeks ricochet and echo through the halls of the grocery store backrooms
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no rizz, just green eyes and mumbling and stuttering when talking to pretty girls
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i’m so close to levelling up on faceit i can feel it fingering my ass
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it’s 2024, i ain’t arguin with nobody this year. if u got a problem w me pal you can meet me at the porta-potty glory hole
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i just got called a silver fox mommy, im in my bad bitch era dont talk to me
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i am outside in my fuckin foils smokin a cigarette w my hairdresser in the goddamn slavic squat. i’m back baby, românia 🫡
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it’s been one of those weeks where i started unbuttoning my pants the second i stepped out the car to throw them aside when i got in the house and i ain’t puttin any on till monday. god bless, gg o7
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anyone need a faceit duo for counter strike the second cuz i am LFT looking for thewilltolive
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this yearning shit kinda hard y’all, i miss being in my hot girl era
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i wanna nap so bad but if i nap i aint wakin up till the next coming of christ
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bro i’m fucking miserable and i cant even surf on legacy anymore, catch me on source from now on 😔
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hey babe, will you change your ign to match mine when we get married? 👉👈
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IM GONNA BUST IM BACK BABY (im gonna derank again)
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eating 10lbs of raw concrete sounds more enjoyable than playing premier rn
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buying 50 bucks worth of cat and bunny ears for next stream since someone requested the redeem 👌 this is gonna be fun
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anyone else trying to queue for unrated on valorant and being switched to a custom, then the message saying queue is disabled?
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bouta make a “skins for the hoes” container and then never take anything out from there because i’m scared to talk to girls
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ok gang did i cook w this craft or is it chalked cuz i havent slept in 30 hours im basically gone honest opinions only
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after 3 days of crying non-stop and writing an entire EP (coming to sound cloud soon) the bad bitch is back
live :3
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i have unfortunately not yet experienced the right of passage that is getting a lobotomy at claire’s but i’ll make sure to update y’all when that appointment’s booked
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