wobo
@wobowobowobo
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2,223
Following
284
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71
Statuses
616
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waiting patiently for my favorite twitch streamer to log online, so i can finally call him "fuck face" and "stupid rat" using my own money.
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been obsessed with this idea since i finished playing zomboid and had to make
@artsyapocalypse
make it.
@charborgg
@CrikMaster
@ItalianNinjaaa
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why the fuck does he only have four fingers
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me walking into elden ring vs me meeting the horse riding knight
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( guy at the bar )
are you ever gonna finish that beer man? dont be a pussy 😂
( i hear the word pussy and get so Horny my smart watch calls and ambulance )
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imagine if this guy had a big bong and was walking around and making everyone smoke on the bong
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wearing my full riddler cosplay to subway and only giving clues as to what i want on my sandwich
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they said this when jesus died
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she slurp my juice for a fort nite then i chug her jugs and smoke some shield pot till i battle pass out
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( me, smiling )
you know i love talking to you. i think ive found a real friend in you.
( the caged monkey im forcing to smoke cigarettes )
OOOHHHH OOOOO OOUUHH AUUU AUOO OOUU G UHHH AOOOOO OOUUUUGGHH
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( eats a single french fry ) yay! ( eats a single french fry ) yay! ( eats a single french fry ) yay! ( eats a single french fry ) yay! ( eats a single french fry ) yay! ( eats a single french fry ) yay! ( eats a single french fry ) yay!
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(guy that thinks clown are an actual race)
seriously dude you cant be wearing that costume
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( guy i havent hung out with in 6 years )
yeah after her father died there was just too much going on. we decided it wasnt healthy for us to be together anymore
( me, trying out saying hombre )
that sucks hombre
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walking around my house like an alerted NPC trying to work out who the hell jacked me off
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I've been crawling around in caves beating the shit out of bats as revenge for corona virus .
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hes giving out simeon mission like GTA online
SOMEONE FOUND THE CAR…
But then it was moved before we could place an AirTag :(
Last seen around this area in LA if y’all live near there keep ur eyes PEELED
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Why do we fall?
So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
Batman Begin
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239K
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( after drinking 5 beers and smoking half a joint )
im a bio hacker. i bio hacked myself to be chill
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( white guy after doing the most amazing thing of his life. a feat no one in this bloodline will ever surmount )
boom shaka laka
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( boss interviewing me )
so whats your 5 year plan
( i start using the banana on his desk as a gun in my mouth )
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( i walk into the living room )
hey dad, do you have a minute? its kind of important and its something ive been wanting to tell you for a while
( my pirate dad )
wheres me treasure
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heckling a ventriloquist absolutely begging him to let me fuck the doll
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this has got to be the best post ive ever seen
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boys literally only play fortnite and scratch theyre balls and girls just post pictures of cats and drink fucking coffee
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( texting co worker that hates me )
everyones talking about Dune 2. im wondering what your Dune 2 night 😂🙈
* i look around at all my unwashed clothes and dirty dishes *
ah hell. damn it all.
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your honor that holds no power over me because as you can see i brought my own tiny little hammer
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pulling the plug on my grandpa and he starts making a fart noise and deflating and flying around the room
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( showing cute bartender a picture of 2 cats )
theyre gay 😃
( noticing shes visibly confused )
or maybe not. idk.
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( suddenly deciding to try out my new pirate voice )
im gonna carm
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( delaying paying for my drink while the line gets longer )
do you think kdot certified himself as a goat or is he just capping? is drizzy gonna clap back with heat?
( barista that thinks english is my second language )
im sorry what was that 🙂
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( the Omnipotent Genie )
and for your third and final wish. what does your heart desire.
( unbuckling my belt )
another one buddy
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( showing cute bartender how many coins i can eat out of the tip jar )
thats sooooooo cool 😃
( her grip tightens on the gun under the counter )
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can i please have a second one
*i rub my pregnant belly*
im smoking for two
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heyy haha. we havent spoken in sooo long. just saw you post that your grandfather died, that suuuucks :/
ⓘ THIS USER IS EXTREMELY HORNY
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( scrolling through pictures on my phone for the starbucks barista )
and this ones a skrunkly boi. and this ones a smol bean 😂
( spotter watching me from 1.2 clicks away. heavy wind. very impressive shot )
Permission to fire.
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( austin powers voice )
ill have 1 beer baby!
( borat voice )
beer is very nice!
( rick sanchez voice )
go away morty im buying a beer!
( eric cartoon voi
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getting bullied at clown college. absolutely no one is laughing at me.
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( granny doting over my son )
hes so adorable! i could just eat him up ☺️
( lifting the back of my shirt )
id like to see you try you old bitch
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*leaning in to the librarian really closely*
which aisle has the most jackoffardly shit
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no one ever talks about how cool the name "Grim Reaper" is . like fuck yeah dude thats 100% his name
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fork over the eddies choomba. no one kleps from me without getting flatlined
( customer im serving thats normal )
what?
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is there anything you can prescribe him? he had two puffs of a joint at a party and hasnt been the same since. i think it did something to his brain.
( adjusting my White dreads )
dis gyal be tahlkin crehzy
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do you mind if i test the merchandise?
( furniture salesman )
of course. i think youll find its-
( he looks over and im already humping the mattress )
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fucking up while trying to flirt with the subway employee and watching the sims negative friendship icon appear above her head
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doing a frame perfect dark souls roll to dodge my aunties hug at christmas
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( my blind date )
wow thats a cool dance 🙂
( me, frowning )
its called krumping
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( about to ruin first date )
you ever notice how dog craps arent white anymore
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i love when people say shit like "5 or 10 minutes" buddy thats a 100% margin of error. get your shit together.
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whoever the fuck named it a Walkie-Talkie was just taking the piss
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I'm glad to say this has been fixed and the words of support I recieved from everyone warmed my cute little heart
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( showing cute barista a post that says "pussy is beer" )
i dont quite get it 🙂
( hitting the delete post button )
yeah the guy who posted it was problematic
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( doctor performing physical check up)
mind if i get close to you?
( me, tipping my fedora downwards )
you don't want to get close to me. they always get hurt.
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( smiling at my new rescue monkey )
hey buddy how ya doin 😁
( the monkey starts bludgeoning me until the room looks like a baby was eating strawberries )
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cool new 100 gecs album. cant wait to talk about how shitty it is while i listen to it for weeks straight.
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( lighting the most crooked joint in the world )
im having a girl dinner
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