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@wiwiboggs
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Are you ready? Lets do this! 🚽 Tweet along to #Eurovision in Switzerland.🇨🇭🎤 Follow us for all the latest unverified news! (Not affiliated with wiwibloggs)
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Joined May 2024
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Pinned Tweet
🔐 Suzanne Adams reveals she has locked William in the family basement until further notice.
💅 “He can be let out once he learns how to act like a normal person” she said.
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🇮🇪 Bambie Thug reveals they’ve spent their time post-Eurovision placing curses on as many conservatives as possible.
💬 “I seek to destroy” they said. “I’ve done around 200 so far.. who’s next?”
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🇸🇮 Raiven exclusively reveals there is a Eurovision group chat on WhatsApp, which is still active, for the contestants to keep in touch.
🤲 All of the 2024 artists are members — except for one.
🚫 “I kicked out Eden Golan” she chuckled. “We’ve heard enough!”
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🇬🇷 Marina Satti reveals she helped Nemo smuggle the non-binary flag into Malmö arena by hiding it in her boochie.
👨❤️👨 “It’s the least I could do! Fuck the EBU” she commented via Instagram.
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🇸🇪 Petra Mede reveals she is homophobic now.
💬 “I looked at Eurovision twitter and quickly changed my mind on a lot of things” she said. “Much to think about!”
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🇨🇾 CONFIRMED! Cyprus is sending some twink to Eurovision 2025.
💬 “Those familiar to the dating app Grindr will know who he is!” said CyBC.
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🚨 Besa confirms her thoughts on Netta, who represented Israel in Eurovision 2018:
💬 “Don’t know who that even is” she tweeted.
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🇮🇱 Netta Barzilai reveals she would like to return to Eurovision “in the next few years”.
🌍 “I’ll need a new culture to appropriate though!” she cluckled. “Maybe I’ll do Mexican next time?”
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🇨🇭 Nemo reveals they personally called Donald Trump ahead of the US presidential election.
💬 “Called him a fat fuck” they said.
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🇱🇹 Monika Liu calls on Martin Österdahl to resign from the EBU.
💬 “Move over strop waffel!” she remarked. “Big ass head”
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🇬🇪 Nutsa Buzaladze says she can’t believe there are still people who are homophobic.
💬 “Love gay porn so much! Slay!!”
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🇳🇱 Joost Klein breaks his silence on the fiasco surrounding his disqualification from the Eurovision 2024 Grand Final.
💬 Speaking to Eurovoix, he said: “At the end of the day, I still achieved my dream and I have amazing fans. Also my cock is massive.”
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WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
WE ARE A PARODY ACCOUNT
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🇨🇿 Aiko calls for Eurovision 2025 to be cancelled.
💬 “We’ve already had 68 editions of the contest” she said. “Surely we’ve run out of songs by now?”
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🚨 The EBU announces no further statements will be released on the issue of Joost Klein’s disqualification.
📣 In a press release, they said: “We don’t give a fuck, okay? Stop asking us about it.”
🎟️ Tickets are now on sale for the 2025 contest with prices raised by 200%!
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🇨🇾 Silia Kapsis admits to kicking a pidgeon in Malmö.
💬 “At least I didn’t bomb another country” she said.
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🇸🇲 1 in 33,600: San Marino’s broadcaster reveals details of new Eurovision selection process!
🗳️ All sammarinese citizens will be entered into a random draw with one lucky winner forced to represent the country in Switzerland.
☹️ “Whether they like it or not”, reportedly.
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🇸🇲 The singer has been UNMASKED! It turns out that Fröken Snusk was… Valentina Monetta all along!
💬 “I just want to do Eurovision again! Please!!!” she pleaded.
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🇵🇱 Jojo Siwa says she has budgeted $200k to participate in Eurovision, also confirming she has submitted an entry for Poland.
💬 “Most of that is to bribe jurors of course!” she chuckled.
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🇬🇧 Liz Truss, the British ex-Prime Minister of 44 days, has accused Joost Klein of “copying [her] style”.
💬 “Do you not have any value or respect for originality?” she accused.
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🇱🇹 Monika Liu reflects on her time in Turin, calling Michael Ben David “the most insufferable person” she has “ever met”.
🎤 She added: “I’m more careful now. When I speak for gay rights, I make sure to call out the gay wrongs such as him.”
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🇬🇪 Iru speaks her mind:
💬 “Chagadadadoodunchogadoda! choogadodadbjddabsbnsvsjsdbskududududumdummdochigachoogahchigachoogahhhh SING!”
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🇦🇱 Efi Gyika, the Albanian Junior Eurovision star, shares her thoughts on the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
🤷♀️ “Why can’t we just drop nuclear bombs on Putin’s home? We should do it NOW!” she said
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🐦 Confirmed! Twitter user
@m2003esc
has reportedly been given a lifetime ban from all future Eurovision events.
💬 “This is a family show and we don’t want to scare children!” the EBU said in a statement.
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🇵🇱 Blanka threatens to release new music for the Polish national final.
👬 Fans are warned not to do anything that may provoke her.
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🇮🇱 Eden Golan reveals she has a painful ingrown toenail today.
💬 “Palestine did this!” she claims.
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🇫🇷 La Zarra has cancelled all upcoming shows due to unfortunately getting stuck upon a large tower.
🗼 “Not this again!” she exclaimed.
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🇮🇱 Netta weighs in on heavy controversy after Albanian icon Besa admits she “doesn’t even know who she is”
🤬 “Bucka bucka mm me very angry!” she clucked.
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🇮🇹 Angelina Mango confesses she doesn’t understand why people go to war.
💬 “Have they just tried listening to Imagine by John Lennon?” she said
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🇸🇪 Loreen admits she has no idea how the Eurovision voting system actually works.
⁉️ “Why can’t we just listen to how loud people clap?” she questioned. “Much easier.”
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🇪🇺 Martin Österdahl admits the faulty Turin sun prop was bought on Temu for €19.99.
💬 “Sometimes a bargain really is too good to be true!” he laughed.
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🇲🇹 Sarah Bonnici in a series of now-deleted Instagram stories:
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🇦🇱 Besa, Albania’s representative in the recent 2024 contest, tells us what’s on her mind.
🤷🏻♀️ “Not a lot!” she said, “Except how I hate that stupid chicken dance song Toy. Worst winner in Eurovision history.”
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🇳🇱 Joost Klein calls for all transphobes to be shunned from society and ignored.
🔇 “It’s time we gave them the silent treatment” he declared.
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🇱🇻 Samanta Tina admits she knew about COVID-19 before most people.
💬 “That’s why I promoted face masks and deep cleaning” she explained. “Mother knows best”
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🚨 Ireland has been disqualified from the Eurovision Song Contest 2025.
📣 The EBU has stated they will comment further on this matter “in due course”.
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🇨🇿 Aiko spills all in new Česká Televize interview set to air at 7pm CEST tonight.
💬 “What do you think about … Eden Golan?” asks her interviewer. The Pedestal singer responds: “Cow”
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🌈 Malmö Pride! Petra Mede confirms she will not be attending.
🤢 “No thank you!” she gagged. “Sounds horrible”
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🌈 Mae Muller stuns in new tweet!
🏳️⚧️ Eurovision fans call for the robbed icon and LGBTQ+ ally to be awarded an honorary Eurovision trophy for services to dragging terfs and providing bops.
didn’t think it was possible to loathe jk rowling more but here we are
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🇮🇱 After failing to win Eurovision 2024 despite attempts to rig the televote, the perennial flop and artistically-averse Eden Golan has been mistaken for a horse and put into a nearby stable.
🐴 According to local media, her neighbours are ashamed and refuse to speak with her.
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🇮🇸 Hera Björk releases apology for saying she is “in a lesbian kind of mood today”.
😔 She admits this may be offensive to the LGBT+ community and offered to scissor someone as an apology.
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👀 Aftonbladet confirms that “Embers” singer James Newman has submitted an entry for Melodifestivalen 2025!
🇬🇧 “I want to cause Sweden to get nul points for once!” he said. “They deserve it”
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🇩🇪 Isaak announces an early retirement from music following a shock 12th place finish in Malmö.
🧠 According to Die Welt, the creatively-challenged 29 year old “cannot be arsed” to find his own artistic identity beyond imitating Lewis Capaldi, so he will instead work at Lidl.
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🇦🇹 Kaleen reacts to ‘We Will Rave’ Day failing to give her Spotify chart success:
💬 “Clearly no one is cool and does drugs or raves anymore… bore off!” she said.
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🇫🇮 Käärijä reacts to finding out that the next Eurovision in 2025 will be the sixty-ninth edition of the contest.
💬 “69!!!” he sobbed. “That’s CRAZY! I’m so excited”
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🇬🇧 Spaced out man! Sam Ryder reveals he has no idea what’s going on anymore.
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@eljest_
@Omri_Hochman
Tali is an Israeli-born Jew as well and wasn’t mentioned here….. we stand against antisemitism 🤷🏼♂️ Maybe this is due to Eden’s vibe like all of our other posts🫠
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🇷🇺 Julia Samoylova criticises the direction of Eurovision, taking aim at the UK’s Olly Alexander.
🤷♀️ “Okay you’re gay so what? I wanted to see more action, more nudity. More fucking!” she said.
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🇵🇱 Luna reveals her thoughts on 9/11 anniversary day:
💬 “It was so bad, should be illegal to do that”
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🇮🇪 Bye bye boy! Brooke reveals she would have an abortion if she became pregnant and the baby had straight man genes.
💕 “You serve cunt or you die” she said.
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🇦🇹 Teya & Salena have announced their intention to return to the Eurovision Song Contest 2025 in Switzerland!
✍️ While the songwriting process is still underway, we understand the entry will be titled “Who the Fuck Is Eden Golan?”
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🇲🇩 Natalia Gordienko via Twitter/X:
💬 “Love these donuts but love cock more tbh”
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📣 The EBU releases an official statement today on 18 May 2024:
🫣 “The Honest Vocal Coach has been brought into Malmö for questioning following allegations of jury voter manipulation. There will be no further comment at this time.”
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🇧🇪 Gustaph comes out as straight via Instagram today.
💅 “I don’t just serve cunt, I eat it!” he announced.
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🇱🇻 Samanta Tina reveals she is not really a composer.
💬 “Don’t know how to do that to be honest” she confessed. “Made it up for no reason.”
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🇪🇸 Spanish entrant Nebulossa has been announced as the actual 5th place at Eurovision 2024.
💬 Speaking to the Swedish tabloid Aftonbladet, the EBU confirmed “Spain was the country who should have received 323 points from the televote. Sorry zorras!”
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🇷🇺 EBU announces formal investigation after fans report “ear bleeding” from watching Eurovision videos on YouTube.
📈Those affected all report listening to Julia Samoylova’s semi-final two performance of “I Wont Break” (2018).
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🇦🇹 We will slay! Kaleen confirms she is loving life and has been taking Ozempic.
💁♀️ The rave-loving diva cuts sharp and slender figure in new photoshoot:
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@eljest_
This is confirmed as 100% accurate by our unreliable reporters who spoke with an unverified third-party source who heard this from another third-party source who cannot vouch for its accuracy 😍
#BelieveJournalists
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0️⃣ His tired transphobia and dated takes did not have the Wiwiboggs jury gagged! We scored him a 0/10. Sashay, away.
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🇮🇱 Netta Barzilai’s coke farts “stank the room out” in recent TV interview, the BBC is reporting.
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@KerenHirsch
Tali allegedly (according to an anonymous unidentified source) found it really funny and ijbolled.
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🇬🇧 James Newman shows off chicken dinner he made himself for supper tonight via Instagram.
💬 “Just how I like it!” he chuckled. “What do you guys think?”
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🌀 Dizzy! Olly Alexander forced to take a sit down after inhaling too many poppers yet again.
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🇦🇹 Bi Visibility Week! LUM!X and Pia Maria share new story via Instagram:
💬 “Despite our appearances we are actually not bi” they apologised.
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🇮🇸 Hera Björk has requested the EBU change the dates of the Eurovision Final on 17th May as she can’t watch it that day.
💬 “Not ideal for me. Please change.”
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🇮🇸 Hera Björk says she understands where gay men are coming from.
💬 “When so many hot hunky daddies exist? Just make sure you leave some for me!” she chuckled.
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🚨 BREAKING: Martin Österdahl has officially been FIRED from his role as Executive Supervisor.
💬 An EBU spokesperson said: “We’ve had enough. Martin, you’re good to go!”
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🇸🇪 Marcus & Martinus reveal there is actually a THIRD twin, making them triplets:
🌳 “He didn’t serve cunt like us so we abandoned him in a Sami forest” they said.
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🇨🇭 Rykka, the Swiss representative in 2016, finally explains the bizarre squatting choreography in her entry “The Last of Our Kind”.
😬 “Really needed a poo to be honest!” she confessed. “Sorry everyone”
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🇸🇪 Marcus & Martinus, the heart throb twinks who represented Sweden this year, reveal the secret message behind their song Unforgettable
💢 “It’s about double penetration. We likey likey” they said.
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🇮🇸🎤 “I feel it coming”
🤔 Icelandic singer-songwriter and part-time narwhal impersonator Hera Björk announces she will RETURN to Söngvakeppnin 2025 with new song “Euromama”.
💦 According to RÚV, Ms Björk wants to be the first woman to squirt on the Eurovision stage.
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🇺🇦 Ukraine’s alyona alyona criticises the audience’s booing of Israel in the Eurovisioon 2024 Grand Final:
💬 “I’m so disappointed in the usually wonderful fans. Boo the bitch and crown the witch? Absolutely. But the booing should have been louder.”
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@BesaOfficial
Omg Besa honey we’re so sorry! We have sacked the journalist who lied to us😔 Unacceptable!
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🇮🇱 Kobi Marimi has unfortunately been mistaken for a rock with googly eyes and put in the Eurovision prop bin.
🚮 “So?” commented the EBU in a press release.
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🇵🇱 Blanka, the Polish entrant in Eurovision 2023, launches her very own “Bejba” perfume. The product will retail at €39.99 and can be found in all mainstream beauty stores across Europe.
💨 “It smells like pussy and pink farts … it’s kinda krajzeh. Price so low!” she told us.
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🇮🇪 Following their success in Malmö, Irish ouija-icon Bambie Thug announces they plan to hex the EBU Executive Supervisor, Martin Osterdähl.
🪄 “You will begin to shart in 2 days” they warned.
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🇬🇧 SuRie reveals her favourite moment of the Eurovision 2024 grand final.
💜 “Oh, definitely the booing! Boo the bitch!” she cackled.
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🇸🇪 Måns Zelmerlöw, the attractive yet dull equivalent to Ed Sheeran, has been arrested in Stockholm for crimes against music.
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🇨🇿 Aiko says she can’t believe there are people who liked and voted for Luxembourg’s song.
🤷♀️ “Where the fuck are they all?” she said.
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🇵🇱 Luna sparks controversy in new Instagram post attacking the EBU’s Executive Supervisor, Martin Österdahl.
💬 “I think he is a disgusting person and very unattractive. Ugly people should not be allowed on TV, he needs to be fired!” she said.
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🇧🇪 Mustii calls for heterosexuals to be banned from Eurovision.
🙅♂️ “No thank you! I don’t hate anyone but keep that filth to yourself” he said.
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🇺🇸 Kamala Harris, the US Vice President and presumptive Democratic Party nominee, confesses she is a Eurovision “superfan”!
💕 “My favourites are Euphoria and Waterloo!” she cackled. “Hear me out y’all!”
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🇨🇭They broke the code! Now following their Eurovision win, Nemo unveils new butt plug sponsorship.
🔌 “Way too small for me personally but perfect for beginners!” they chuckled.
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🇮🇱 Eden Golan allegedly sharted herself on stage in the Malmö Arena.
😩 The tone-deaf and turnip-faced diva reportedly received a €500 fine for the incident.
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🇪🇸 Nebulossa reveals her favourite Spanish dish:
🍽️ “Twink cum sourced directly from Barcelona!” she said.
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🇬🇧 Scooch reveal they won’t be participating in Pride month.
🏳️🌈 “We’re flying the flag not supporting the fag!” they said.
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🇳🇴 Still in love with the fairytale? Alexander Rybak threatens to compete in Norway’s Melodi Grand Prix!
💬 The draft entry is titled “That’s How You Write a Song (Part II)” an NRK spokesperson has warned.
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🇬🇧 The Honest Vocal Coach looks back on Chanel’s Benidorm Fest performance of SloMo in new YouTube Video.
💬 “I can see her fanny what the fuck!” she gasps at one point.
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🌐 A group of Eurovision fans have gathered in protest outside of the EBU’s HQ today.
💬 They demand at least 50% of songs are girlbops in next year’s contest. “More Swedish songwriters!” they also chanted.
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🇩🇰 Euro-crush! Reiley reveals he would love to go on a date with 2016 & 2019 Sammarinese representative Serhat.
💬 “Forget Heartstopper. I need that hole-stuffer right now!”
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🇨🇾 Andrew Lambrou reveals his pits are musky and lickable in new Instagram post.
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