Wheezy Waiter
@wheezywaiter
Followers
89,125
Following
848
Media
4,178
Statuses
24,536
I make videos about trying to be better (most of the time) Here's a newsletter!
Wisconsin, USA
Joined July 2008
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Pinned Tweet
Popcorn is my favorite result of a bunch of things exploding.
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So
@shanedawson
's Tanacon series is fascinating & one of the best things about it for me is how candid he and his crew are about what he's making and how he's not even sure why he's making it. Some very real and compelling moments in there.
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I'm usually not one to take a lot of pictures. I took 36 today.
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No offense, but I enjoy holding my baby more than any other baby. I might be biased, but my baby is the best baby.
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I worked my ass off to pay off my student loans and now these people get a pass!?!?! That is just so… great. I’m glad for them.
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To everyone doing their first Wordle today, just know they’re not always this difficult. Hang in there.
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Changed my first diaper. Received my first spit up. Constantly worried about breathing. I'm a dad!!
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So far I haven't read anything about the Tesla Truck. I've only seen the images. But my opinion is the same as all vehicles: I wish we had more trains, buses, and sidewalks available.
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Thought I'd post a picture of our first day with this little gal on our last day with her. Love you, Mitzy. Rest in peace.
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Netflix is actually a video game called Keep Moving or The Trailer Starts.
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This is probably the best marathon photo one could hope for.
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I hope it doesn't get taken down. I hate it when the covfefe's done.
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The Good Place is the best show on TV right now! All other opinions are... welcome and valid because they're opinions.
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Half a million views on the lastest video & I may soon break the 600k sub barrier. Wow. On the one hand I feel like I'm a Youtube OG & I've had a great career & numbers are stupid. On the other hand I feel like it's about damn time.
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PLEASE 👏 SEND 👏 HELP 👏 I'VE 👏 GLUED 👏 MY 👏 HANDS 👏 TOGETHER! 👏
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@shanedawson
I think you did a damn fine balancing act. I think you were really able to get to the truth here without villifying anyone, yet not freeing them from blame at the same time. It's a rare thing to see.
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@hankgreen
@h3h3productions
@TeamYouTube
Every subfeed decision for the past 6 years has slowly destroyed my channel. I have felt for a long time that it's building towards this.
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Hey
@SimoneGiertz
, thanks for the months of entertainment. My wife will be happy to get the table space back.
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I'm sick of all these men celebrating Christmas. Ug. It's Christmas EVE not Christmas STEVE!
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Anyone else think this episode of Game of Thrones is WAY too bright?
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I like how John Green is hitting 'em where it hurts. Not in the humanity. In the business.
J&J is making a bad business decision that gets worse every minute they don't reverse course.
#PatientsNotPatents
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@hankgreen
I think when people call it out what they’re really saying is “I don’t want to care about being accurate or kind”.
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I was today years old when I learned you could do this at the Capitol and not be shot... or hindered in any way, it seems.
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Looking forward to all the racist unsubscribes when I upload my video “What you can do to Fight Racism” tomorrow.
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I know it's a cliche talking point, but I'm seriously weighing the pros and cons of living near my daughter's extended family vs. living far from American gun culture. Also, I love dry comedy and fish and chips. Not that I've narrowed down where I'd go.
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I'm feeding Mitzy through a tube tonight. I'm holding out hope that we've got months left with her cuz she's a tough gal, but it may be weeks. She's our first baby and I'll never forget her.
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At the beginning of the year I'm going to keep trying to do videos every weekday about whatever the hell I want and make weird titles and sometimes be political and not give a damn about the continued subscriber plummet. I'm enjoying this. F&@$ algorithms.
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@hankgreen
Well I was a picnic basket while my daughter was little red riding hood. So you’re slacking.
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I don’t know if Viacom will be able to recreate the celebrity-puts-together-show-in-his-house-during-pandemic-to-lift-spirits genre.
John Krasinski’s ‘SOME GOOD NEWS’ has been sold to ViacomCBS however John Krasinski will no longer host the series.
(Source: )
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Once this whole pandemic is over I’m going bowling. We should all go bowling. Let’s bring back bowling.
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We've been anticipating this joke for years. Now with this gift
@ChynaGrove
's dad made it official.
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“If you see a cat, look at it. If you don’t see a cat, don’t look at it.”
-my daughter
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Logan Paul is exhibiting the behavior of a deranged lunatic and an ass. I'm often disappointed that our world is organized in such a way that we prop up deranged lunatics and asses.
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A million views! And I didn't even propose to anyone this time!
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MY WIFE: I have to love you.
ME: Who's putting a gun to your head?
MY WIFE: My heart.
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Hey! Just finished Bo Burnham: Inside. Feeling 8 layers of irony as I fulfill my desire to let strangers on the internet know that I enjoyed it.
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I'm really not feeling like being neutral about stuff anymore. This is fucking horrifying.
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HUMOR TIP: If you don't think you're funny, don't worry. Someone will like it. Lots of people have bad taste in comedy.
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You’re lookin at a tweet from an asthmatic who’s partly vaccinated against COVID.
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A show like Friends but it’s called “Friend” and it’s just one guy.
Intro: “I’ll be there for me” as he cries in a fountain.
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My dad walked into the middle of Inception and now I'm trying to explain to him Inception. Since the entire movie consists of explaining Inception I have a lot of Inception to explain.
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Good morning.
Bad news: Our dog passed several weeks ago
Good news: Now we got Bunny here.
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Is there a good place to watch a real-time subscriber count? All of them seem to round up to the nearest 1000. Reason being:
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How dare you use this shooting to try to throw a wrench in an unrelated FBI investigation that is proving inconvenient for you. This may be the most disgusting thing you've ever tweeted.
Very sad that the FBI missed all of the many signals sent out by the Florida school shooter. This is not acceptable. They are spending too much time trying to prove Russian collusion with the Trump campaign - there is no collusion. Get back to the basics and make us all proud!
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HUMOR TIP: You know that joke in a movie or show where some smart person describes something very technical in a way that's hard for someone outside their expertise to understand & then that person says "English please?" or something? Yeah. Stop doing that joke.
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Saw video of some trucks barreling through protestors at an intersection and people justifying it because the light was green. If you agree with this you can go ahead and unfollow me right now, you evil ghoul.
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Finally, a cure for my Twitter addiction.
Billionaire Elon Musk offers to buy Twitter for $41.39 billion, a regulatory filing shows
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How to write good
1) Read a lot to learn that most writers suck.
2) Pick your genre and stick with it. Your genre is Sci Fi. That’s best genre.
3) At least 1 explosion every 2 pages
4) Lots of writers say character is most important. They’re wrong. It’s explosions.
5) Boom
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I shouldn’t have checked Twitter 2 hours ago right when I laid down to go to sleep. 🇺🇦
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I'm having fun removing awful comments from my new video. I used to feel weird about it and just let everything go. Now I realize if I wouldn't want these things said in my house, then bye-bye.
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HUMOR TIP: It's easier to make a joke about something if you don't care about it. Never care about anything.
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Hey, let me know about some under-appreciated YouTubers so I can appreciate them.
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Again, this is all great, Joe, but who am I supposed to be mad at? Where's my sense of dread? What are you the best at? I'm not used to this.
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I just keep looking at this. It's so perfect. This kid has a future.
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That Tanacon series is a beautiful lesson about acting out if spite and getting in over your head. Well done
@shanedawson
.
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I think one of the most inspiring things you can do is look up the worst things your heroes have made and realize everyone sucks sometimes.
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"How dare you address this specific problem without addressing all these other problems!" is a very common comment which is basically just saying "I don't care about this and I would like to distract you!"
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Remember Waterworld? Someone should make Landworld. And the tagline should be: Long time no sea.
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I returned to coffee today after a month. I am really not enjoying it, to be dishonest.
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Saw The Last Jedi for a 2nd time, & yep, I still love it. A good time. Had a blast. Visual treat. Best lightsaber battle of the canon. Loved what they did with Luke. Loved what they did with Snoke. Loved my milkshake. Can't wait to see what happens next with these characters.
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I made a video a few years ago about how I really wanted a tattoo but couldn't think of what to get. Well I definitely know what it is now.
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A good message is a good message.
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As I lay on the couch, my daughter slumbering upon my chest, the rumble of a thousand buffalo escapes from her bottom. I've never been a more proud father.
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Netflix on the PlayStation is going to auto shut off cuz I've been binging Parks & Rec too long & the remote is out of reach & there's a sleeping baby on my lap & a sleeping wife at my side. Send help!!!
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Everyone has a right to free speech in this country, so I will freely say that this is an example of human garbage.
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Happy New Year everybody. My mom got out the senior pictures. Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1998.
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As an American, I can't imagine anyone caring this much about people in another country.
This is so crazy it’s morning now in New Zealand and they’re marching for
#BlackLivesMatter
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Listen, these days if you take a side the other side thinks your a brainwashed idiot. There’s no way out of it. And it is for that reason that I stay out of politics— Donald Trump sucks. Do not vote for him.
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14 years on the tubes
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NOTE FOR CREATORS: Ignore the comment "you're running out of ideas". I've seen it for 13 years. There are always more ideas.
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I worry about bleeping out the word 'ass' in my videos and a man says it's okay to grab a woman's p___ and he gets elected president.
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Gonna do Wheezycon where I invite 100000 people to watch TV with me but in their own separate homes at whatever time they want or not at all. Tickets are $500.
#wheezycon
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I never complain about stuff like this,
@TeamYouTube
, because I really can't prove what goes on behind the scenes, but after my video went up Saturday my mom discovered she was unsubscribed. My own mom! Hard to give the benefit of the doubt here.
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I told my 4-year-old the population of earth is 8 billion. She said, “That’s too many!”
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Today I dipped chips made from chickpeas into hummus (which is made from chickpeas). Will I be okay?
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Thanks for noticing. It was really challenging building those letters in the middle of the road. The city was NOT happy.
Something I’ve always loved about
@wheezywaiter
: he sweats the small stuff. He doesn’t NEED to do stuff like this with basic introductory titles, and most would overlook such details, but it’s SO SATISFYING and clearly shows his passion for filmmaking.
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