LGBTQ Equality Campaigner. Author of memoir UNDIVIDED. Now, in 2024, battling chronic illness and mostly housebound. Contact me/support me via the link below.
Today, I was the featured guest on the BBC's "HardTalk" show. We discussed my book
#UNDIVIDED
, conversion therapy, & more. Watch on iPlayer if you live in the UK: For those outside the UK, here's a lower-rez Youtube version:
After a 6 month break from social media, I'm opening the door & peeking back in. Other than a few retweets about my book (to support my lovely publisher) I've stayed away. It was necessary for my overall health; trolling had really worn me down. It's good to be back :-)
Five years ago today, this front page hit the shelves. I was hiding under my duvet, terrified about what would happen as a result of coming out. Yes, the trolling has been brutal & I’ve lost a lot, but I’m also more free and more alive than I’ve ever been. Love wins.
#LGBTQ
🌈
It’s difficult to understand how arrogant & judgemental Evangelical Christianity can be until you’re on the receiving end of it. An obsession with certainty leads to a lack of humility, a lack of generosity & a lack of theological appreciation for mystery & wonder at the unknown.
Dear people from ‘conversion therapy’ organisations in UK&USA: No, I do not want your books or teaching CDs sent to my PoBox. I do not want emails suggesting I enroll in your ‘healing courses’. Conversion therapy almost made me take my own life. I will campaign to shut you down.
After what’s been a horrendous three days on social media that have pushed me to some very bleak places mentally & emotionally, I’m hoping I can bounce back enough to enjoy tomorrow - as it’s my birthday. Looking forward to seeing my family and experiencing their kindness & care.
After a long battle with Parkison's, my Grandad passed away peacefully in his sleep. I'm glad he's out of pain, but he'll be dearly missed. If you've read Undivided, he's the much-loved Grandad I wrote about in Chapter 27. I'll really miss our chats. His love was unconditional.
To know more about the Episcopal bishop who preached today, including his passion for LGBTQ inclusion, here’s an interview with
@PB_Curry
:
#RoyalWeddding
My Mum is recovering from surgery and has to rest, so my Dad (who is happy to admit that he has zero domestic or culinary skills) somehow managed to bake his first ever cake. Impressive first try. So grateful to both of them for their kindness & love today.
Anyone else thinking of "correcting me" - please do not waste your time, or harm my mental health any further, by sending these offensive messages to any of my public inboxes. Flooding me with these commuications benefits no one. Nothing about it is a good Christian witness.
A long, but important, piece by a couple whose story went viral --- The heart-breaking complexity that can be created when a gay person feels pressured to enter a heterosexual marriage:
I believe social media, for all its flaws, can be a place of genuine, authentic community. Amongst all the click-bait, pretence & fake news, it can equally be a place to remember we are one human family & there’s more that unites us than divides us. Let’s look after one another.
Under Section 28, I didn’t get a chance to hear a positive message about being LGBTQ. School was the only place I could’ve heard that as the rest of my life was lived in a religious bubble. Kids & teens need to hear there is no shame attached to being LGBTQ. This will save lives.
In happier news, look who I was able to visit - my amazing Grandad. He's just about hanging in there health-wise. He's such a fighter & just keeps on going, despite battling Parkinson's and other issues. Every moment with him is precious.
Such shocking and devastating news. It's hard to process the reality that she's gone. Rachel was SUCH a courageous champion of inclusive faith. Her writing leaves behind an immense legacy and she will be dearly, dearly missed by so many of us around the world.
Since my book launched, the trolls & critics have come out, as expected. I’ve been told my ‘gayness’ was entirely caused by a sexual assault. That God can make me straight. That I’m an enemy of the church. That people wish I was dead. Oh the joys of standing up for love. 🏳️🌈
Despite being a horrible week, good things are coming out if it - many pastors/priests have contacted me saying they want to talk about making their churches LGBTQ inclusive. These meetings & helping churches transition is work I’ve found very meaningful since 2014.
#SilverLining
Grateful for a walk along the beach with my sister Jo. The sea is always a place that brings calm when I’m anxious, and healing when I’m exhausted and beaten down. It definitely helped today.
#BirthdayWalk
#Kent
Thanks for your opinion (!) but actually I like having short hair and dressing the way I do...Not everyone has the same metric for beauty. I feel more comfortable in my own skin now than I ever have.
I remain hopeful that someday, the Evangelical church will change. God is at work and his radical love, inclusion, and generosity always win the day. I am still optimistic that people’s closed eyes will be opened & hard hearts will be softened. Nothing is impossible.
#LoveWins
Today’s been one of those days when being on social media has felt like being repetitively punched in the face. I think God’s heart breaks at the way some Christians treat LGBTQ people. May change happen in the church - and soon.
Coming out is still so painful and costly for many within Christian communities. This will only change when institutions like the Church of England finally shift & adopt full theological equality for LGBTQ people. It cannot happen soon enough - people's lives hang in the balance.
Having a much-needed couple of nights away from London. Not the best weather (umbrella is at the ready! ☂) but the change of scene is helping after the craziness of the book launch, the conversion therapy interviews & all the awful trolling. Grateful for some headspace. 🌊
After a couple of years in the pipeline, my book is FINALLY DONE!
It's called "UNDIVIDED" and it'll be published by
@HarperCollins
this June.
It's a very raw, vulnerable memoir about my journey so far - and about all of us pursuing greater authenticity. I hope you'll enjoy it.
Please keep Dan and the two small children, one aged 3 and one less than a year old, in your thoughts (and in your prayers, if you are a praying person) as they all navigate this unimaginable loss.
If a hair cut is on a woman, it’s a woman’s hair cut; hair cuts don’t have an inherent gender. And yes, I’m gay. And yes, I had a hunch this hair cut would generate these kind of comments. But I like it, regardless! 💇🏼♂️
“Dr. King was right. We must discover love, the redemptive power of love, and when we do that, we will make of this old world a new world.” -
@PB_Curry
#royalwedding
Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone. I try to be upbeat on here, but the recent online behaviour from other Christians has deeply affected me. Feeling more fragile & shaken than I have in a very long time. Grateful for my therapist & doctor who are walking me through this.
More and more churches are joining Pride marches - it’s fantastic to see inclusive love on display. I find photos like these extremely moving. Change is coming, slowly but surely.
I can only imagine how life-changing it would’ve been to my depressed, and at times suicidal, teenage self to hear positive things from teachers about LGBTQ people & diverse expressions of family life. All kids need to know they’re loved, valid, & equal.
If you are a praying sort of person, I’d be grateful for your prayers today. Or if you’re not, then feel free to send me some positive energy & happy thoughts. I could definitely use them.
After all my chronic health issues over the past two years, this feels like stepping into sunshine after a very long, uphill struggle. When we set the publication date, one year ago, I thought I'd never finish this book. Your support was what got me through. Thank you :)
Many of you have asked why I stay within the
@churchofengland
? Because it’s my spiritual home & I love it dearly. I’m honest about the need for change because I believe we can do better. Non-affirming theology has damaged so many of us but a future of inclusive love is possible.
Decided to go for short hair again after cutting it 2 years ago, then growing it back long. My hairstylist is very patient with my back and forth decisions..! Short hair feels way more “me” so I think I’ll stick with it. ✂️✂️
Three thoughts in response to this: 1) Being LGBTQ isn’t a “lifestyle” any more than being straight is a lifestyle. 2) No, it’s not “sinful”; the Bible has just been misunderstood on this topic. 3) It’s never the job of human beings to judge who “can” or “can’t be a Christian”.
As I get ready to cross the milestone of turning 40 in a few days (yikes, how did time go by so fast?!) here's the first photo I ever had taken. Yes, I did look somewhat like an alien. And yes, my hair suggests that I was auditioning for an infant rock band.
For anyone else needing some light relief from the dire unpleasantness of social media this week — here is a baby giraffe, a baby koala, & a pile of snuggling bunnies.
#MedicineForTheSoul
#Adorable
August 14th will always be a special day for me - it’s the date my coming out interview was published in the
@Independent
in 2014. So much has happened in the past 4 years! Here’s to many more spent speaking up for diversity, inclusion, & LGBTQ equality in the church 🏳️🌈❤️
Lots of faith groups marched today at
@PrideInLondon
. No one should be forced to choose between their LGBTQ identity & their religion. Good to see that message clearly communicated today.
It's so encouraging to hear that churches are still using my Easter hymn today/this weekend in their services. Many churches have boycotted my music since my coming out, but some haven't - which means more than I can say.
“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d be still in prison.” - Nelson Mandela
One challenge of COVID-19 ‘shielding’ = having to face my fear of self-injecting as my local nurse or doctor can’t do it. These needles are long & it’s not pleasant but I’m getting there gradually. Only took me 40 minutes of psyching myself up today...!
#chronicillness
Please be cautious about who you trust on mental health within the church, especially if you’re LGBTQ & at Evangelical events. Check people’s professional mental health qualifications if they claim to be an expert. Don’t accept ‘prayer’ without first knowing theological biases.
Hoping & believing that
@churchofengland
will allow same-sex marriage within their buildings & within their liturgy someday in my lifetime. Great that
@PinkNews
have this sign for people to hold & be photographed with tonight. 🎉
Despite all the trolling & online abuse, the past few days have been wonderfully encouraging. More church leaders in UK & USA have changed their minds to affirm same-sex marriage. Also, many LGBTQ people who’d rejected God & church are re-exploring their faith again.
#Undivided
After two years of writing & editing, the publication date of my memoir with
@HarperCollins
is finally HERE TODAY! What a long journey it's been - and it's YOUR support that's kept me going & made it all possible. Thank you! :-)
After two years of writing and editing, plus lots of planning & preparing, the release date is ALMOST HERE! June 12th (USA), June 14th (UK). What a long journey it's been - and it's YOUR support that's kept me going & made it all possible. Thank you! :-)
These Christians usually protest at every
@PrideInLondon
. I’ve had the ‘joy’ of them yelling at me during multiple Prides. Thankfully, they are now drowned out by the far larger number of pro-LGBTQ Christians & churches marching. The tide is turning and love will win. 🏳️🌈🙏🏻
Saw beautiful rainbows on the journey home from
@Greenbelt
. Now back in my apartment, exhausted but smiling at happy memories of meeting so many of you & feeling your support. Whenever I use my
#gb18
water bottle, I’ll remember all the lovely moments of the past two days 👍🏻
In 1979, the year I was born, an LGBTQ-focused bookshop opened in London called
@gaystheword
. The shop became an important support hub for LGBTQ people. The store still exists today in Bloomsbury. I’m so grateful they’ve included
#Undivided
in their new window display. Thank you!
Encouraging to hear that some churches have used my
#Undivided
“Benediction for Inclusive Worship” in their services. The words of that Benediction sum up my hopes for the road ahead regarding faith & LGBTQ equality.
Every year, including this one, lots of Christians march at
@PrideInLondon
to communicate a positive message of love & inclusion. It’s a small but powerful way to counteract the messages of judgement & shame that many LGBTQ people have heard from churches/Christians before.
I have two goals when I tell my story: 1) To bring hope to LGBTQ people in difficult situations 2) To change the hearts/minds of those who oppose same-sex marriage. As
@ChurchTimes
newspaper arrives in over 20,000 churches this weekend, I hope & pray it does a little bit of both.
No, same-sex relationships are not “sinful”. Also, it’s not a “lifestyle”, it’s just the way some of us are naturally wired. There isn’t a “gay lifestyle” any more than there is a “straight lifestyle”.
#facepalm
🤦🏼♂️
Predictably, there are homophobic articles/critiques springing up online. I don’t read them personally, but several people told me those articles actually ended up convincing them to support LGBTQ equality as the authors were so vitriolic & absent of love & grace. Love wins 🎉
The book writing process, with all my health issues, has been so tough that I honestly didn't think this day would ever come. It's you guys, here on social media, who carried me over the finish line by cheering me on. So, thank you most of all to YOU. xo
No, the “vision of Jesus” I present in my life and my writing is not “vile, debasing and degrading”. Far from it. As I said in
#Undivided
, the New Testament’s trajectory of radical inclusion is beautiful, restorative, and life-giving. That’s the Biblical vision I adhere to.
The biggest highlight of my book's publication so far are people using the book to come out themselves. I'm hearing from people who've already handed a copy to a pastor, parent, or friend yesterday and said: "This is my story too". Deeply moving to hear that.
Feels so good to hold it in my hands. 82k words is heavy! I can’t wait for you guys to read it. You’ve all been my cheerleaders & I’m so grateful 😊😊
#BeechingBook
Today in London I have several hours of back-to-back USA radio interviews. Some are in v. traditional US States so say a prayer for me. No doubt this’ll bring out the trolls & lead to yet more abuse+vitriol in my inboxes. It’s heartbreaking that some Christians behave like that.
Thanks, Sabine! I really miss being active on social media. Other than RTs to support my publisher/book it’s been a year since I was properly active on Twitter. There’s only one reason I left - the trolls were affecting me too much & my health is still too fragile for that. ☹️
Wonderful to hear from church leaders who read
@ChurchTimes
& Undivided this weekend & said “we will begin to prayerfully re-examine our views on LGBTQ equality”... “it’s clear conservative theology can damage lives & even cause suicide”. “Forgive us for not understanding sooner”