ER vet tech
@vettechER
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high on dogs, drugs, and adrenaline. certified to steal your blood. #ADHD #vetmed #punchnazis
animal ER near you
Joined August 2012
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I used to carry sugar-free werthers in my pocket to quietly slip to the dvm when he got grumpy. A few months later I noticed when he started to get upset he’d come hover over me and grumble to himself. I’d hand him a candy and he’d wander off.
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Parvo vaccination: $12
Parvo test: $56
Treatment: $2000+
Euthanasia: $100+
Today’s theme: VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING PETS
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@uncooljerk
I think a lot of men use sex to feel powerful. They don’t ask because they don’t actually care what the answer is
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Dog trainers are not qualified to offer medical advice. Breeders are not qualified to offer medical advice.
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Feeling extra sensitive this week because I had to euthanize an eight week old, $1400 designer puppy bc the owners couldn’t afford life-saving vet care after such a big purchase.
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One thing I do that I think is funny is ask if there are any cops in the room before I draw up fentanyl.
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Y’all give cat people a lot of shit but have you ever met a bird person?
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I don’t think he even realized he was actively seeking me out. Anyway long story short I accidentally Pavlov’d the doctor and now I’m more careful with candies.
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@probablynotaspy
@AdultingADHD
Don’t forget about work, car, purse, nightstand, and bathroom deodorants!
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STOP PUTTING YOUR FUCKING DOGS ON FUCKING VEGAN/VEGETARIAN DIETS
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Literally just switching back and forth between sweatshirts today because how do I even choose?
@EffinBirds
#happylatebirthdaytome
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Hey maybe don’t go buy that dog food bc the commercial made you cry. Your dog’s vet bill from the resulting GI upset will make you cry more 🙃
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Hot take: if cutting out red dye fixed your adhd, you didn’t have adhd. You had a reaction to the red dye.
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It fucking sucked and I can’t help but wonder what the outcome would’ve been if they’d adopted a fully vaccinated puppy from a shelter for $200.
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I diagnosed a dog with nipples today. I know it’s technically outside my scope of practice but I felt really qualified, okay?
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I reached up to close a dog’s mouth so the doctor could hear the heart better and almost grabbed the owner’s dick
somebody please kill me
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@WhatTheADHD
Brush your teeth when you think about brushing your teeth. It doesn’t have to be at wake up and bedtime.
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Wanna leave your shirt or a sock so your pet has something that smells like you in the hospital? Great! Please don’t hand me your bra.
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Heard some human nurses talking about how it was dumb for vet clinics to stay open and that we’re “non-essential”. I have some thoughts that I’ll share on this thread when I have some time tonight.
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STOP BATHING YOUR FUCKING PETS IN FUCKING ESSENTIAL FUCKING OILS
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Am I the only one concerned about the number of pets being adopted right now?
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Bones shouldn’t be a part of the respiratory system and I hate that birds breathe with their fucking BONES
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@morter21
We met at the humane society about 5.5 years ago and moved across the country together two months later. He’s almost 6, I’m 25.
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I feel bad for that woman whose cat had a bad anesthetic event but “getting the bitch fired” is extreme. Anesthesia has risks. It doesn’t mean anybody fucked up or did anything wrong.
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@SalaHanSala
@WentRogue
@DrJenGunter
SAME I was like goddamn he’s only 17, cut the poor kid a break 😅💀
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Reminder: rabies vaccines are a LEGAL REQUIREMENT. It’s not elective.
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No offense but I need everyone trying to watch me draw blood to take about seven steps back.
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Parents: let your kids say goodbye to their pets before bringing them in for euthanasia if you don’t want them present.
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Have you tried euthanasia?
What's a tweet that's so canonical in your mind you make shorthand reference to it, even if people might not know what you're talking about? (I sometimes just say "uh oh y'all it's gettin' kinda hazy" expecting people to get it)
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You know how embarrassing it is to walk into a room covered in bandaids that weren’t there five minutes ago to tell you that your cat declined his annual testing today? We don’t like it either.
The people at the vet are always like “he didn’t let us take his blood” all accusatory but like he’s a 12 pound cat and you’re all trained human professionals??? Figure it out
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When I lived in CO we’d spend hours pulling seeds from paws and noses. I just heard about a case where a grass seed migrated into the thorax and they found it in the mf AORTA
My dog got a grass seed stuck in his paw which developed into a blood blister.
Vet wanted to take him in overnight and operate on his paw at a cost of £750. So instead, I applied Sudocrem to the wound and within the hour it was all sorted.
How do vets sleep at night?
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@thewildemama
“Hey girl” 😂
But seriously, the worst part about depression is that it hits for no reason. The okay part is that it doesn’t stay forever and it gets better again. Chin up, love 💕
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@mommaofadoxie
@_kayward
@sadsagsun
Considering most women suffering domestic violence are isolated and can’t talk about the abuse... I understand her taking back her voice. It takes strength to leave an abuser and she SHOULD be proud.
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Lost my car keys. Called my mom to see if I’d left them on the kitchen counter. She laughed and hung up, so I pulled over and put the car in park to search my bag.
#stupidadhdthings
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My vibrator is free and doesn’t get me pregnant OR give me diseases. You ain’t special.
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Do you even know how fucking ACCOMPLISHED I feel after solo placing an IVC in an anesthetized, hypotensive, fat bulldog after the first one blew? It reminds me that I’m a real professional and not just a fraud.
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Handling dead animals isn’t crap- it’s an honor and privilege. I’m in the right field and I’m proud to do what I do. Fuck off.
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#ItAintRape
if BOTH parties give sober consent of their own free will. That's it. That's the only time it isn't rape.
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Why would anyone spend seven grand on a surgery and then refuse to keep their pet from chewing at the surgery site???
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@jenniferTVTweet
@Cetotherium
He’s not feral anymore. Time to transition him to indoor only or supervised, leashed outdoor time.
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Fleas are not worth a 3am emergency vet visit. Please go to sleep.
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Today’s win! IVDD (grade 4) with inconsistent meds and no surgical intervention STOOD UP to say hello and drink water this morning!!
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So many dog trainers upset that they don’t know better than veterinarians
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@MoonsproutWitch
How about veterinary professionals? Are we allowed to weigh in? You won’t like our answers.
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Or maybe she needs to be spayed so I don’t have to euthanize her when she gets hit by a car after escaping the yard while she’s in heat, or when she develops pyometria and goes septic 🤷🏻♀️
@Haden_Leigh_
My girl Katy Perry’s down! She needs a good man in her life so she’ll quit whining all the time😂
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Opened a kennel and the dog lunged at my face so fast I didn’t have time to react. My life flashed before my eyes as he locked his paws around my neck and buried his face into my jugular to hide.
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“My dog ate moldy sewage three days ago and I gave her a raw egg right away to stop the toxins but she’s still vomiting a lot and has diarrhea.”
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What’s the fucking point of working in this field if I still can’t afford to give my own pets the medical care they need?
Four owners have bitched that we’re ‘only in it for the money’ tonight and I just want to scream.
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@Anonyvet
Okay but when can we start charging breeders for animal cruelty and practicing veterinary medicine without a license?
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@WisconsinSass
He’s only acting like this because he thinks it might win him a chance. You already know how he’ll behave when he realizes he won’t get his way.
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@RNSuperHero
I accidentally splashed fentanyl in my eye five years ago and I’m still fucking waiting for that warm, sweet embrace
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Men will literally choose no sex over wearing a condom and then have the nerve to get angry when you respect their decision.
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Stop blaming clients for driving veterinary staff to suicide. Are they abusive? Sure, they absolutely can be, but they’re manageable. The nicest clients in the world won’t change a goddamn thing if your staff can’t treat each other with respect.
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In my opinion, general practices should close or stay open for ER service only, but emergency services NEED to stay open. This is important for a variety of reasons:
1. Your pets are family. No pet should have to sit at home and suffer.
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If Twitter disappears I’m going to have to open a word document and pretend I’m still on this hell site.
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I can almost guarantee human vaccination rates would go up if we had to cut off heads and submit samples of brain tissue to confirm suspected measles cases.
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@DGlaucomflecken
A client once asked what we did with all the hair we swept up and I told her we ate it. She looked at the DVM and he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded. I’ve never seen a more horrified expression
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@Zooophagous
@lil_kdoo11
I can’t get over the COST of all that food. Inflation has me struggling just to buy my own groceries and normal purina dog food.
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@houseandhens
@iamvickycz
I admire your restraint. I would have a lot more of those “updated this list” entries 😂
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Please don’t treat your dog’s ear infection with neosporin and soothing oatmeal wipes.
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Me: I’m sorry, we’re an emergency/specialty hospital. We don’t offer vaccination services.
Client: Well it’s a fucking emergency to ME!
Me: Ma’am, we don’t even keep vaccines on the premises.
Client: *slams door*
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Owner looked at me with tears streaming down his face and asked “how do you know how many kisses are enough?” as he visited with his dying pet.
I sat down next to him. “Sir, you can kiss her a thousand times and it still won’t be enough.”
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I’ve never had a patient try to eat the saline mist from a nebulizer before but I’m not surprised that the first was a golden.
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@AdultingADHD
Instacart curbed my impulse grocery purchases by about 80%. My bank sends me a text every day with my checking account balance.
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Some crazy lady asked me if I “enjoyed poisoning my own pets” when I told her I fed purina after she asked for an educated opinion on her raw diet 🙃
Why aren’t people asking Veterinarians what they feed their OWN pets? Wanna know what’s best for your pet to eat? Probably the food your Veterinarian is BUYING for their pets to eat considering they literally only want the best of the best for their own animals at home 🙃
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Me, a veterinary technician, hiding under the bed:
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: i called my breeder to make sure my veterinarian knew how to treat my purebred malti-poo
Me: DID YOUR BREEDER GO TO VET SCHOOL?? ARE THEY ARE A DOCTOR
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Over half the patients in my ICU were puppies last night- not including the multiple parvo pups in isolation.
Puppies don’t make great holiday gifts when they rack up $1500+ in medical bills before breakfast Christmas Day.
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"She's so pretty though, why would he cheat on her?"
1. Pretty is irrelevant
2. If she was ugly it would be okay?
3. He's a loser
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Hiring managers: if the potential employee you’re interviewing is leaving their current position bc they can’t afford to live, don’t offer less than their current wage and claim the “benefits” make up for it. They don’t, and you just wasted everyone’s time.
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All cats should be on regular flea prevention! We don’t just recommend it for fun; fleas are sneaky and can be tricky to get rid of once they’re in the house.
Today I paid a veterinarian $200 to learn that your indoor-only cats can still get fleas if you have an indoor-outdoor husband who wore his houseshoes out in the yard 🙄
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4. Animals don’t stop having emergencies just because their humans are home. Our hospital has seen an increase in cases because owners are home to SEE how their pets are behaving.
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Purina is a fantastic food choice and has years of evidence to back it up. Boutique dog foods (fromm, Rachel Ray, etc.) are NOT quality. In fact, there’s direct evidence that grain free diets (fromm, RR) are causing DCM in dogs of all ages.
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I cannot stress enough how unbothered this patient was. They did not present like their trachea was a coffee stirrer.
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LEASH YOUR FUCKING RATS! I don’t care how ‘friendly’ the other dog looks, or how ‘nice’ your dog is. YOU are responsible and I won’t feel sorry if your pet gets hurt. “Ahaha he’s only 4lb- he can’t hurt anyone” ... maybe not but he’s definitely snack sized 🤷🏻♀️
So one of our neighbors little rat dogs got bit by my roommate’s American bulldog this morning (not severely) because it ran up to her and nipped at her and they had the audacity to call animal control and Bella is literally the sweetest dog I have ever met I am so pissed
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It’s an HONOR to stand in for owners when they can’t do it themselves. I’ll never judge. I’ll sit and love them & tell them they were good and so loved by their parents.
Can we not police grief? Pets are not alone at the end of their lives, whether their owners choose to stay or not. If they choose not, I have a tech come in the room with me to give love and comfort. My job is to help ease and facilitate that passing for all involved, not judge
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I’m crushed about the breadsticks but guys I think this might be the one
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“$150 just to pull a fishhook out of my aggressive, painful dog’s tongue is ridiculous. You should be ashamed.”
...I mean, you’re welcome to pull it out yourself 🙄
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WITH THAT BEING SAID:
A nail trim is not an emergency. They can wait. Vaccine appointments for dogs that have already received their full rounds of shots are not an emergency. If your rdvm is closed, puppies also need to follow social distancing rules. Stay out of dog parks.
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“mY DoGs NOsE iS dRY!”
I don’t give two single fucks about the status of your dog’s nose. See your vet in the morning.
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Don’t sit at home and stare at your pets. Here is an incomplete list of reasons to bring your pet to the hospital:
Labored breathing
Pale gums
Distended/painful abdomen
Inappropriate food/med/material ingestion
Uncontrolled bleeding
Abnormal behavior
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It really pisses me off when techs panic and back off when a patient freaks out and I’m restraining. I will not let them bite you. I will not let them hurt themselves. If I lose my hold I will give a warning. It’s going to be okay.
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“I’m a vet tech”
“At night?”
Animals have emergencies outside the hours of 8am and 5pm?
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Passing a coworker carrying a dog and I made grabby hands. He stopped so I could kiss it and we continued on our way. No words exchanged.
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I set the cat on the scale and looked up at the clock for a 15s count. I have no idea what this was going to accomplish.
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If your seizure patient doesn’t take his meds, you FORCE THEM. Shrugging and leaving the pills on the kennel floor is NOT an appropriate response.
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Hi, I’d like to remind everybody that zoos are literally priceless when it comes to the conservation and protection of animals. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ZOOS
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Breeder told o to stop phenobarb and give tums to “distract him out of his seizures”
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Dog chewed off most of his own foot. Owners aghast and confused. “How could this happen??” they cry. Was he wearing an e-collar? “No, he doesn’t need it.”
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