marZ
@ur444nus
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music journalist | satire bit enthusiast
miami
Joined January 2014
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when i say i am a retired party girl, all it means is that i don’t go out 6/7 nights of the week anymore. instead, i go out one night for 72 hours straight like an adult.
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It’s 2024 ladies, we are replacing “if he wanted to he would” with “if he won’t, someone else will” 💅🏼 purrrr
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travis scott is me when i go on a side quest and a new rave fam adopts me
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my top burner list:
1. silly goofy doesn’t give a fek = hot
2. being kind = hot
3. loves & respects women= hmu
4. irl meme = hot
5. loves house music = sexy
6. edgy, genuine & creative = hot
7. watering your plants = hot
8. 🫵🏽 = hot
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#LoveIslandUSAReunion
was underwhelming, especially when you grew up with higher expectations 😔✋🏽
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nobody will remember:
- your salary
- how busy you were
- how many hours you worked
everyone will remember:
- how easy you throat-fucked that mf without a single teary eye
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how many bumps does it take to get to the tussi hole center of this pussy pop
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love bombing doesn’t make sense to me because WHY WOULDN’T someone fall in love with me in three days ???
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Me, post ultra —“Factory Town or save my body for tomorrow + afters??”
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Meeting the “right person at the wrong time”, is just the wrong person.
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ya’ll might have to file a missing persons report when you can’t find my waist after this weekend’s bender
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horny
to celebrate National Latina Day, i am collecting reparations from every man who has ever mispronounced my name
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If you have ever sucked my tit, I better get a Happy Mother’s Day text on Sunday.
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my favorite animal is me @ the rave when someone is moving through the crowd and they shove one of my friends 0:-) hehe
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don’t talk to me about “taking accountability”, I can’t do math!!!???
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Every year I say I’m going to lose the 20 pounds I gained from oct-dec.. AND BITCH I FINALLY DID THAT!! 25 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS.
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Liquor before beer you're in the clear.
Beer before liquor, you'll be okay, don't be a little bitch.
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girl dinner—kandi, espresso martini, takis, girthy bong, charcoochie b2b oreo espresso tini nut-buster cheesecake
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2012 burnerverse is fkn BACKKKKK, and if you’re still taking twitter seriously, go back to Instagram threads.
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I have approximately one hour to consume 100% of my calories for tonight.
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it’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you later🤍
i love you forever club space
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you can’t help but giggle when u pass by the Downtown Miami Ave 2C exit
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Should I listen to Kayne and think about me or listen to Drake and think about you.
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it’s not even noon, and my father is day drinking in the pool, cigar in hand, blasting the
@tomorrowland
live stream on surround sound. ya, i’m def his daughter.
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Hug your boyfriend/ girlfriends and best friends a little closer next time you see them. You never know what you have until you lose them.
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peace is restored in the world (i dyed my hair black & brought back the shag)
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in girl math, if i delete the call log and message thread before sober me wakes up, it never happened.
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Miami really decided to have perfect MMW weather in the middle of a pandemic...the disrespect
Miami really decided to have perfect beach weather in the middle of a pandemic...the disrespect
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it’s always “have you ever pegged a man” but never “have you been eiffeled towered” 😪
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haven’t partied at factory town in two years and WOW, the glow up is so real
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Only in Miami do you have a friend, who has a friend, who has a friend, who knows a guy.
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we saw the MainStage red sea, and all we could think about was Jesus Solomon in the sky
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For the first time in 15 years (and the second time ever) Carl Cox and Green Velvet come together 💚
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a casual tuesday night deepthroating some limoncello shots w the gorls = great success 👍🏽
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visiting denver & doing a ket bump on lookout mountain would fix me rn.
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my homeboy just asked me mid-blunt if my username is ur444nus because "you have to go through mars before you get to your ur(anus)" … i’m— 🫨🤭😭
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my father FaceTimed me just to swig his office beer, throw up a middle finger at me..then hang up. K.
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homegirl just said “the sex is so good, I go deaf in my right ear, every time”
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Girlhood is a spectrum. I just rotted on the couch for two days and now I’m on my way to get a silly little cold brew before my silly little Pilates b2b yoga classes.
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miami native logic: “hm, I’m hungover and it feels like 92 degrees outside…let’s get ramen”
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