I’ll tell you guys a little secret about the music industry: Nobody has any money! Bands don’t have money and labels don’t have money and stores don’t have money and venues don’t have money and if you get involved in this world for any reason other than love you are legit stupid.
The other night I told a venue manager “HARD NO” when they tried to take a merch cut without putting it in the advance. Best feeling. There is a place in hell for venues who take merch cuts from support acts.
My dad passed away the other day. As sad as I am, I feel a great urge to celebrate the man’s life. He was excruciatingly human, equal parts inspiration and cautionary tale. I loved him so much more than so much. Here is a short thread about my father. The guy was a fucking card.
It doesn’t matter that you quit drinking and doing drugs forever ago because if you don’t go to AA and do the steps you’re not really sober. The Higher Power thing bothered me at first too but then I learned it didn’t have to be the Christian “God.” My Higher Power is THE OCEAN
Touring musicians: What are you gonna fall back on now that our industry is completely in the shitter? I did some research on becoming a firefighter this morning but alas, I’m too old (and not handsome enough)
Pretty sure this whole tour is vaxx only but in case it isn’t let me be clear: If you’re not vaccinated we don’t want you around. Gonna be so mad if we have to go home early because I got covid from some dildo at the merch table worried about magnetized blood. Just stay home.
Not a single day goes by where I’m not grateful that I quit my soul sucking retail job of 15 years to pursue music full time. Life now is a constant hustle for part time gigs & I am perpetually broke, but holy shit is it worth it.
My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in April 2019. Over the past few days his condition has deteriorated drastically. It is a fucked up thing to happen during a fucked up time in the world. If any of you could spare a good thought or a prayer, my family could use it.
The other day I was picking up my dog’s shit when some nice person walking down the street yelled “Uniform rules!” and I yelled back “thanks!” while waving a little bag of dogshit.
Sometimes you write poetry, sometimes you live it.
Bright New Disease is a collaborative album between Boris and Uniform. Beyond honored to for the opportunity to make music alongside the best band in the world
Check out the first single "You Are The Beginning" in the usual places. BND will be out on June 16th via Sacred Bones
BREAK THE INTERNET
If I do say so myself, this is gonna be one wild ride right here… We are light years beyond honored to support the living legends
@Convergecult
, along with some of our dearest pals
@fulllofhell
and
@eyehatethou
.
A little over ten years ago, my dad went with me to my last detox in Jersey. It was just the two of us and it was beautiful. Yesterday, I went with him to the crematorium in Jersey. It was just the two of us and it was beautiful.
I work door at a local club of some notoriety a few nights a week. It’s great! I get paid to hang with friends and listen to killer music. It allows me to be an active member of my community at large. That being said, on occasion some patrons get kinda weird about it. A thread:
My dad was a junkie who left after a suicide attempt when I was 4. He built himself back up to become a successful dentist and started another family. We had a tough relationship. I respected him. I resented him. He’s dead now. I’m glad I don’t have kids. Happy Father’s Day 🤷♀️
I’m in recovery. I’m also on a ton of meds for my brain. If I don’t take them at best I can’t function, at worst I become a danger to myself and others.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not sober because you do what it takes to be responsible for your mental health.
Well, here we go...
The new Uniform album is called Shame. It will be available on September 11th on
@SacredBones
. The first single is called “Delco.” You can listen to it , if you feel so inclined.
My grandfather died yesterday. A lifelong republican, the last thing he said to my mother was “Donald Trump, the President, is a very bad man.”
Better late than never, Grandpa. Rest easy.
Salò at the drive-in theater update: My partner came to her senses so she’s gonna sit this one out. Going it alone. It’s just me, the car, and Salò. God help me.
Straight up, the biggest supporter of underground extreme music was Trevor Strnad. Do you play in a band that you think nobody cares about? Chances are good that Trevor did. This is a huge loss…
- Me: You know that band Escuela Grind?
- My wife: Never heard of them.
- Me: Well, they’re…
- My wife: *covers ears* Nope, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.
- Me: I love you.
About 3 years ago I quit the terrible retail job that I’d held for 14 years to concentrate on music. Now I play full time, work in a artist management firm full time and at venue multiple nights a week.
I’ve stared into the musical abyss. The musical abyss has stared back.
Informal poll: What’s the scariest, most unsettling movie you’ve ever seen? I’m talking about something that still shakes you to your core after multiple viewings.
Well, it’s finally here and we’re not entirely sure what to say. We put a lot of love into this record. With that love came pain and a sense of vulnerability. These songs are the most personal, heartfelt statements that we’ve ever made as a band.
A friend & I were complaining about getting cold called with people’s music. “Listen to my demo” or “thought you might like to review this” or “can I get on this show?” etc. It’s exhausting. Then, I remembered what it was like to be the one making those calls. It felt way worse.
My dad used to give me shit for not liking Prometheus. Rewatched it and I finally understand where he’s coming from: It’s about God’s abject regret in creating humanity.
My dad and I shared a worldview. It’s wasn’t a happy one, but we were bonded over it. I miss him terribly.
A thread: I have zero musical talent. Fell in love with Slayer at 10 & convinced my struggling Mom to buy a guitar for my birthday. Played constantly for the next 4 years but could never get both hands to move correctly. Dexterity, man. Some people just don’t have it.
Wish things weren’t shut down because I need the money but straight up I’m a grown man in his 40s I’m not gonna die if I can’t go hang out at the club for a couple of weeks. Some of you motherfuckers sound like teenagers whining about being grounded.
Not terribly mad at it but man the Type O Negative renaissance is super weird. Couple of good tracks but most of that shit is corny as hell, and everyone at the time knew it. Most boring live band I’ve ever seen. And yo, NONE OF YOU would want to kick it with Peter Steele irl
Less of a hot take (and way more serious): If you insist on going to a show or a bar or a restaurant right now, you should be tipping about 100000000% on everything.
Devastating song/video from an absolute visionary and one of my most important friends. Been thru a lot with this one. In good times and bad she’s been a constant source of inspiration.
Happy Birthday, Kristin! You’ve raised the bar yet again. I’m so proud of you.
Good morning. I had an exceedingly sweet interaction with Jim Jarmusch when he came up and talked to me after our set last night. It doesn’t get better than this so I’m going back to bed. Goodnight.
At the Olive Garden in Times Square. The old men at the table next to us are having a discussion about LaVeyan Satanism.
It doesn’t get better than this.
Shoutout the dude on the street wearing a Uniform shirt that I spotted from a window while running at the gym. You didn’t see me but I saw you and it made me feel very very nice
Stayed up with a sick puppy last night. At 3am she was about to have diarrhea on the couch so in a split second I stuck out my hand and let her shit in it. We are not the same.
I’ve heard a lot about the couple having sex in the Autopsy pit (with pics) and the couple getting engaged on stage during Suffocation (with pics), but very little about THE GUY WHO JUMPED OFF A BUILDING AND KILLED HIMSELF AT MDF. Did this really happen? No, I don’t want pics.
We’re working on new music. I’m not going to say much outside of the fact that it’s… big. Multiple instrumentalists and my favorite authors are involved. Don’t entirely know where it’s going yet but if the final product isn’t the most scathing thing we’ve done it’s a failure.
Just finished watching the extended versions of The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and my big takeaway is that there’s no way the surviving hobbits don’t wake up screaming every night.
Something most people don’t realize we all learned from White Zombie’s late, great Astro-Creep 2000 is that: yes, every heavy song deserves a gratuitous, irresponsible amount of tambourine.
I am not talented but I am tenacious as fuck. Anyone who says that someone who puts in this kind of time & energy to music is less than a musician can get fucked. If you are reading this and can identify: Don’t let the bastards get you down. Don’t stop working. It gets better.
The irony of cops & other blue lives matter supporters using mob intimidation tactics to jeopardize someone’s livelihood for protesting against them is just too obvious. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that the police aren’t an organized crime organization.
Actually, love is a stupid reason so yeah if you get involved in this world you are legit stupid no matter what.
Take it from me. I’m an expert in stupid.
The professional music world is way smaller than the casual participant probably thinks. Everyone from production managers, sound engineers, promoters, bartenders and bar backs and yes even doorpeople are essential. We’re all here because we love it.