Took the dadpill a decade ago. 1 wife/2 kids. You’re never ready to become a dad. Helping you hit the ground running, create balance, and be the dad you needed.
1. Ask her what she thinks it means
Your wife has a definition of what it means to be a great husband
Find out what it is
This will give you an idea of your strengths and areas for improvement.
7. Take her out
She loved it when you were dating, she loves it now
Drop the kids off with a sitter and
- Drink wine and paint
- Hold hands at a movie
- Have a romantic dinner
- Drive to the country and look at stars
Don't stop courting your wife just because you're married.
6. Be interesting
Your identity must be more than 'the family man'
- Have hobbies
- Be passionate
- Have close friends
If you only focus on being 'the dad'
You'll forget who you really are.
8. Value cleanliness
Don't make her fill the ‘mom’ role in your life
- Groom yourself
- Put your stuff away
- No pubes on the toilet
You may not think these are a big deal
But it means a lot if you're a clean guy.
4. Have a vision
You’re not the only leader of the family, but you should be at the front lines
Always be planning, strategizing, and sharing those plans with your wife
She’ll appreciate the thoughtful and active approach.
5. Handle family business
Your wife will do things she doesn't want to if you don't do them
She'll pick up the slack
But it takes a toll over time
- Pay the bills
- Plan for the future
- Maintain the house
And many more
Just do them.
2. Tell her what you think it means
You have a definition, too
Talk about how it overlaps with her definition
The sweet spot is likely a healthy mix of both
Never stop trying to find this balance.
11. Give her space
Physically and emotionally
Yeah, you're married but that doesn't mean you should be together at all times
Give her time:
- By herself
- To decompress
- Without the kids
- Away from the house
She's a flower, let her bloom.
14. Love her well
Find out how she prefers to be loved
And start showing love in those ways
The 5 love languages are
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
It's likely that she favors a few of these
Do them.
15. Remember the little things
How does she relax?
What's her favorite song?
What concerns her daily?
Back scratch or massage?
Most recent thing that made her smile?
Has she mentioned wanting anything lately?
Remember the little things.
9. Keep a project list
I'm sure you've heard of a 'honey-do' list
It's a list of things she wishes she didn't have to remind you to do
Remedy this:
- Create the list
- Prioritize the items
- Assign each a deadline
- When she asks something of you, add it
Be the driver.
20. Be consistent
Don't do any of these just once
You can do anything once or twice and nobody blinks
But greatness on the daily; that's when people start to take notice
Be so consistent that people never think twice before counting on you.
13. Make her a meal
You may not be a good cook
I know I'm not
But if you take the time to
- Learn a recipe
- Buy the ingredients
- Put aside your fears
- Cook the dang thing
She'll appreciate it.
16. Communicate daily
The strong, silent type isn't going to cut it
You think lots of things every day
You don't have to share all of them
But you should share more of them
She wants to know.
18. Be inspiring
- Wake up early
- Have strong values
- Always floss your teeth
- Relentlessly pursue a vision
- Be physically and mentally strong
Just be someone who she's proud to be married to.
17. Be honest and kind
"Does this dress make me look fat?"
Trick question, right?
Find soft ways to tell her what you really think so she can be at her best
"I like the other one better, babe."
"What about that sexy blue dress you always wear?"
Always improve communication.
19. Think your own thoughts
Don't fall into the trap of guessing what she's thinking
You'll never get it right
And you will forget what your own thoughts are
Be your own man
She wants that more than anything
Porn is killing your relationship
Porn is killing your motivation
Porn is killing your energy
Porn is killing YOU
4 ways to quit porn today
// Thread //
I’m not perfect at any of these.
I work hard consistently to check myself and be better in each area.
Connecting with cool dads is what I want to do here.
Hit me up anytime with questions or just to say hey 👋
A father should be the leader of his family.
Sometimes that means:
- Late nights
- Early mornings
- Tough decisions
- Thorough research
- Organized planning
The reward is more than worth it.
20 ways to be the best dad on the block
Your kids' friends will remark "your dad is so COOL"
Your wife's friends will wonder how she bagged you
// Thread //
This account exists to teach you how break generational curses and raise a joyful family.
To illuminate the dark parts of yourself and turn them into light
Adopt these 6 identities to supercharge your family
Read on 👇
Porn is killing your relationships
Porn is killing your motivation
Porn is killing your energy
Porn is killing YOU
Why you should quit porn today
And how to finally do it
// Thread //
Me at 32:
- Weak mind
- Boring marriage
- Yelling at my kids
- Floating through life
- Destined for mediocrity
Me at 34:
- Strong-willed
- Present father
- Dating my wife
- Vision and purpose
- Focused path to greatness
A few years of consistency will change your life.
10 Rules of Fatherhood
1. Don’t help your kids
2. Pursue your wife
3. Explore nature
4. Do fun things often
5. Keep up with maintenance
6. Eat right and exercise
7. Listen more than you speak
8. Set standards
9. Take the lead
10. Don’t yell
1. Love their mother
Parents who stick together give their children a distinct advantage. Give them this gift.
They will know what a healthy relationship looks like.
I’ve looked like a grown man for years
But I felt like a BOY for years into adulthood
Why?
- No Direction
- No Planning
- No Action
Today, I feel like the man I am, because I act like the man I am
YOU have complete control of this, too.
It’s 10 pm. Your kids are wide awake.
You expect them to be asleep.
“Go to sleep RIGHT NOW!” you yell.
Oops.
🔽 How expectations lead to anger and what to do about it 🔽
7. Communicate clearly
Do not let your kids grow up without knowing how to express themselves. Teach them to say what they want, unapologetically.
An essential skill.
I’m not a nice guy.
At least not anymore.
How my people-pleasing behavior almost destroyed my marriage.
And how you can avoid it.
⬇️ A short story thread ⬇️
This account exists so your wife never forgets why she chose you.
So your kids never know what it’s like without a dad.
So you can learn from my mistakes, skip the frustration, and do what it takes to build a beautiful family.
Complacency destroys.
Action is the antidote.
3. Engage daily
Spend quality time with your children. They know if you are distracted.
“A father present doesn’t always mean a present father.” -
@fathersreforged
@Theholisticpsyc
My layman take on this is that trauma first causes us to breathe more shallow
The shallow breath becomes habit
Everything else suffers. Blood flow to brain, etc.
Again: not a medical take but I’m telling you to breathe, people.
8. Follow through
A man is only as good as his word. *Actually* discipline your kids. Five more minutes means five more minutes.
If you say you're going to do something, do it.
This account exists so your wife never forgets why she chose you.
So your kids never know what it’s like without a dad.
So you never forget how lucky you really are.
Complacency destroys people and families.
Action is the antidote.
10. Keep promises
Your kids idolize you. You know all in their minds. So imagine the hurt that can come when their favorite person breaks a promise.
A man is only as good as his word.
Me at 27
- Porn everyday
- Boring relationship
- Floating through life
- Destined for mediocrity
Me at 37:
- Read every day
- On-fire marriage
- Present and grateful
- Progress toward vision
Consistent introspection and self-driven change will make you unrecognizable.
2. Work hard
If you don’t have a rock-solid work ethic, it’s impossible to teach it to your kids. They’ll want to sit on the couch just like dad.
This is hard to reverse in adulthood.
I don’t know what you’re looking for when you scroll
I don’t even know what I’m looking for when I scroll
Yes, I scroll
But I’m telling you, we’re not going to find it here
What’s really happening 👇
I started improving my mindset in 2010
I started making more 9-5 $ in 2013
I started a beautiful family in 2014
I started getting healthy in 2018
I started my mission in 2020
I started online $ in 2021
I started
Dads of daughters:
Are you genuinely ready for her teenage years?
How are you going to handle lazy, unkempt teenage boys?
Social accounts? Skimpy outfits?
The general population will try to destroy her innocence.
How are you going to fight it?
I’m not a nice guy.
At least not anymore.
How my people-pleasing behavior almost destroyed my marriage.
And how you can avoid it.
⬇️ A short story thread ⬇️
6. Eat healthy
Teach your kids how to eat real food by only eating real food. If you don’t, they’ll be lost to the convenience of Oreos and McDonalds.
Model healthy habits.
20. Express love daily
Your kids need to know you love them. There are many ways to express this love. You don’t want them to reach adulthood and wonder “why didn’t dad ever hug me?”
Show them what they mean to you.