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Tyler Schmall Profile
Tyler Schmall

@tylerschmall

Followers
12K
Following
77K
Statuses
8K

“Welcome to my page.” - Tyler

Brooklyn, NY
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
15 hours
AI should have stopped at showing what it might look like if Will Smith ate spaghetti. That was all I was curious about.
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
6 days
Think of how powerful it’d be if two NBA teams playing against each other suddenly decided to work together instead. Imagine how efficiently two basketball teams could score on one basket facing no opposition…
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
10 days
My two grandmas just called. They said you’re all paying attention to the wrong Grammys
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
11 days
We will win by constantly pointing out how fascism is “actually against the rules ☝️🤓”
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
15 days
(About to speak on Zoom call) sorry for all the background noise, the ancient malevolent spirits that beckon me are baying.
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
16 days
One of my buddies shares all his data with me. He trusts me with it.
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
16 days
Oppenheimer. Barbie. Same day. Same theater. Who's with me?
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
19 days
Just for me
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
22 days
@theadamcrouch It’s an untapped well of punchlines. Stay tuned for more.
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
22 days
@RohnJobert Good luck!
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
23 days
(Trump 41 minutes into rally) they have conditioner that you “leave in” now. I know, that’s what they’re telling me it’s true. You don’t wash it out. I dunno. But we’re gonna put a stop to it.
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
27 days
(Walking straight into the background of my girlfriend’s zoom meeting) babe….so Best Buy just emailed me with some exclusive offers….im shooketh
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
1 month
(Guy looking at his phone almost walks into me) motherfucker needs watch where he’s walking and get off his phone (I almost walk into some guy while I’m looking at my phone) motherfucker needs to watch where he’s walking. Can’t he see I’m on my phone
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
1 month
@FelipeDiPoi Very nice. What's the name of the piece?
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
1 month
(Introducing you to someone) this is my auld acquaintance
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
2 months
@SpacebatSOL You should
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
2 months
@bbellaaaa Oooo nice that sounds even better!
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@tylerschmall
Tyler Schmall
2 months
@bbellaaaa Ok amazing. My final guess is some kind of broccoli + cheese/potato soup deal?
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