woodchuck
@txsequencer
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applied pbs research at citadel securities
zuzalu
Joined September 2023
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Polygon laid me off today. If you know of any open positions for blockchain marketing let me know. I was the guy in charge of giving bankless advisor shares so that they told everyone we were an L2
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this is a “stablecoin” yielding 27% but no one will criticize it because of the cap table. stuff like this is what makes crypto the most reflexive market in the world on the way down
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that cobie tweet about the ef and eigenlayer was more impactful than the total sum of all crypto journalism life to date besides the one alameda balance sheet article
not worth breaking any real news when it is hard and also might negatively impact your deal flow
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been twapping into MATIC for two years because everyone told me “you don’t understand how cracked their zk team is” and now my wife left me and i’m broke
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polygon spent mid nine figs acquiring zk tech so that they could…outsource their zkVM to a third party
Polygon is using SP1.
We’re thrilled to announce that Polygon Labs is using Succinct’s zkVM SP1 for building the AggLayer, their flagship interoperability protocol.
Polygon accelerated development timelines with SP1's simple devex (just write Rust) and SOTA performance.
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call my girl solana because she used to go down but not really anymore
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scroll has no users and blast has no L2. if everyone could just put their egos aside we could have the greatest merger in crypto history
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let’s send all our top representatives to meet kamala harris and show her we are a serious industry. like that guy who wears a bear mask and that guy who pretended to be kurt cobain on the internet and that guy who beat the shit out of that other guy at the bitcoin conference
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crypto projects will experience real users for the first time and think they are getting ddos’d
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$10B TIA staked to secure celestia vs. $70B ETH staked to secure ethereum. how close does it have to get before celestia is secure enough to be the global root of trust or whatever and not just alt DA
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one difference i can think of is that north korea just stole 62 million dollars on blast
This may be a good time to remind you that there’s no difference between Base and Blast
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congrats you’ve joined crypto where you get one free pass every 2ish years to sell 300 million dollars of a worthless governance token to retail investors. only catch is you are going to have to take a little heat from some guys with 300 followers and an animal pfp
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DYM launched at 5B and the project you invested in “still has 3-6 months left of points”? my condolences
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ethereum is really the only blockchain where the community roots for catastrophic failure of their own project so that they can win an argument on twitter
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dragonfly diligence process is over and over again innocently asking on twitter why projects that are being airdrop farmed are seeing an increase in users
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with rumors circulating about exchange insolvency in private chats, i am confident that the retail participants who deposited into that ethena stablecoin thing will be first in the queue to exit
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eigenlayer engineers who did all the work but aren’t tight with the BD guys
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ethena cap table construction is like a 7.5/10, probably the best they could do given the obviously questionable design. notably missing a tarun/resnick/paradigm/blockworks research type to provide air cover from the mechanism critiques
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never ask a woman her age
a man his salary
or an alt L1 how fast their state is growing
How much has Solana state grown in the last 3mo? (Genuine question)
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help! i put my daughters college tuition into munchables the leading something protocol on blast the only ethereum L2 with native yield backed but not endorsed by paradigm and now it’s gone ?!?
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all the top vcs now have
- overvalued evm L2 play
- non evm hedge
- modular/da exposure
- monolithic hedge
- restaking play
- intents/ordering play
- zk play from two years ago that is still in research phase
gotta be the top for private markets unless something else pumps
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the layerzero sybil filtering is mostly just a very effective marketing campaign
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i’m not sure i fully endorse starkware’s decision to do a 2 month unlock but it’s an awesome mechanism experiment and i’m glad someone is trying it!
if i were to rack my brain some of the risks might include
1) the team dumping on retail
2) the investors dumping on retail
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everyone thought the celestia token pumper guy had done an incredible job negotiating back room deals to get all the cosmos projects to airdrop to TIA stakers
turns out he just made it up. lesson in there
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paradigm getting a retropgf grant is kinda like when the CEO wins the company raffle
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airdropping your tokens to the users of someone else’s blockchain is the most beta shit i can possibly imagine
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eigenlayer is a much bigger threat to ethereum than lido but no one wants to think about anything that will happen more than 3 months in the future
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restaking protocols bribe eigenlayer -> eigenlayer bribes the EF
value always accrues to the base layer don’t let the haters tell you otherwise
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polygon threw the entire weight of their organization behind a memecoin and couldn’t even pump it over 17m market cap. says a lot
The literal (Poly)GOONS
How the top execs of
@0xPolygon
and other insiders misled and exploited devs for months, and slowly rugged the community on the pretext of a memecoin. An observer's tale of deception and fraud
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born too late to enjoy the L1, born too early to enjoy the L2, born just in time to launch an infrastructure company to facilitate the transition
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honestly eigenlayer advisors should get zeroed out. clearly gave horrible advice and let the company fumble the mandate of heaven
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you caught me, i’m the guy who buys every new cosmos play that inexplicably launches at 2-3B valuation for the last 7 years. i’m 0/300 but hoping to make it all back on this next one
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today we have justin and dankrad back on bankless with a topic near and dear to our heart “should EIGEN replace ETH as the native asset of the ethereum blockchain?”
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so zk is simultaneously “the most technically complex part of crypto” and also every year 9 teams launch the exact same product
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hearing the etf is optimistically approved but it’s going to take 7 more days for the challenge period
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bad projects release tech
good projects release docs
the best projects just stay as ideas
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base engineers searching for the line of code in the op stack codebase to raise the gas target
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between echo groups and friend tech clubs there has never been a better time to be cool and popular and have friends
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if you are running a failing crypto project one idea you could try is announcing you will bridge to monad so you can fail but on a faster blockchain
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arbitrum mogged optimism again but it doesn’t matter because they picked worse early investors years ago. study alignment
On March 22, our Offchain Labs team disclosed privately two serious vulnerabilities in the Optimism fraud proof system. Details:
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ethereum isn’t broken we just haven’t had enough time to get it right
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if monad launches with more tps than all the L2s combined what’s the game plan? how are we going to fud
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optimism team launched a geth fork
- didn’t figure out how to scale throughput
- no support for non eth gas tokens
- no interop strategy / shared sequencing layer
- no api for alt builders
- no fraud proofs
now just sitting around doing BD letting other people figure it out
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georgios is trying to turn ethereum into monad as a side quest right now
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the bankless guys silence on the farcaster channel controversy is deafening
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if the cosmos deep state was able to force every IBC compatible chain to use the same gas token like ETH did with rollups the UX would instantly 2-3x but also no one in the cosmos ecosystem would have a vacation home
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absolutely nothing to see here. standard cap table for a solana dex
1/ We're excited to announce our $20M Series A led by
@paradigm
, to further our mission of building a sustainable DeFi ecosystem.
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i’ve listened to more podcasts explaining shared sequencing than there are user transactions that have ever been processed by a shared sequencer
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i remember a year ago after the ftx collapse everyone said “the real winner of this is defi” well i’m still waiting would be nice to start winning any day now
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wow, a guy who sells DA for a living just told me DA is the bottleneck for scaling
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the entire point of crypto is squatting on stuff. being anti squatters is the same as being anti crypto
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we are finally going to bring crypto yields to tradfi by shorting perps on exchanges that legally can’t onboard us citizens…and then do no kyc and then offer a synthetic version of this short on chain and then do an unregistered token offering based on our points scheme and then
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if you have users people will ask how many and it will never be enough. but if you have no users then you are pre users. you are a potential pure play. it’s not about how much you earn it’s about what your worth. and who is worth the most? blockchains with no users
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i was building an app and then the cosmos guys invited me over and i saw how big their houses were. now im building an L1. this is my story ⬇️
1/ Announcing $140M in total fundraising to build Story, the World’s IP Blockchain.
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nightmare blunt rotation
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just spoke to big bird he says he’s doing fine but he’s taking some time off to focus and try to find a use case
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the crypto stack of the future according to the gospel of the vcs
- wallet
- ofa
- suave (L2 builder)
- espresso/conduit (L2 proposer)
- optimism/scroll
- suave (L1 builder)
- relay
- validator
- mainnet
you may not like it but this is the only way to get good execution
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imagine spending two years grinding on crypto twitter through the bear and still getting no monad allo
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megaeth doesn’t have the engineering chops to build an L2 node that can replay all the txs in real time at the throughput they want so they are trying to retrofit the definition of an L2 node to be streaming state diffs
might work if they give away enough angel to bankless
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you either die a mechanism design idealist or you live long enough to start saying shit like “this could be solved with TEEs”
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polygon acquired a lot of companies last cycle then realized that was a suboptimal decision from a “how many tokens can we launch” perspective so now is slowly spinning them back out
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the customer is always right unless you are a customer of the ethereum blockchain in which case the researcher is always right
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every time someone gets close to fully vertically integrating the transaction supply chain we will create an arbitrary new role to set them back 6 months. oh you’ve never heard of the pipeliner? he sits between the relay and the validator and increases decentralization
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don’t knock the cosmos sdk too hard over the berachain issues. at least they are trying to build a real blockchain not a single centralized server for “sequencing”
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farcaster has a lot of potential just need that one a16z guy who loved clubhouse to stop shilling it and giving it narc vibes
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one trick to maximize insider allocation on a linear airdrop is to quietly release a zero feature “beta” with a supply cap for months giving most of the points to strategically aligned farmers
by the time the information is widely circulated retail is farming for peanuts
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it’s not clear why the network is missing slots but at least we’ve narrowed down the list of places to check to
- the five execution clients
- the five consensus clients
- the relay implementations
- all the major builders
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there is an invisible line you can cross where even the smartest market participants stop pretending they understand how your project works
happened to zk. eigen currently getting close
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ethereum community desperately needs to rally behind an op stack celestia based ethereum rollup with a banger app (ideally trading) to showcase what can be done with this 100B of infrastructure investment
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eigenlayer, you have to stop. you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your bitch is too bad. they'll kill you
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many believe that ethereum gets it legitimacy from moral superiority and not price but that every other project gets 100% of legitimacy from price
there is absolutely no greater edge than being number 2 on coinmarketcap for 4 years every time anyone checks the price
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pbs is probably inevitable but pray to god it takes as long as possible to come to your favorite blockchain
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honestly the cosmos people were actually mostly wrong. nobody wants mesh security they want rollups and IBC has no adoption on any of the chains that people use
they kind of got out in front of the EF on a few nerd snipes but it didn’t end up mattering at all
cosmos and solana really are on opposite ends of the "do you want to be right, or do you want to make money" spectrum
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whatever angel investment he is making right now is going to absolutely pump. nothing more bullish than the dev having such a sketchy bank account the wire is getting flagged
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many people seem to think airdrops are about rewarding your most loyal users when in reality airdrops are a regulatory arbitrage to get your token floating so that you can sell in a year
the only two objectives are price go up and no blowback on twitter
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i can’t believe the number of strays
@GwartyGwart
has caught because of this account. woodchuck, balloon, doug and gwart are totally separate entities just like bankless and bankless dao
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everyone who shilled me this ZK infra stuff you are officially on notice. no users, but worse, no tokens?
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we invented sandwiches, and now for the cheap price of 15 bps we will protect you from them
Protect your swaps from MEV.
With built-in swap protection on the Uniswap app.
Never worry about front-running or sandwich attacks again. 🫡
Live now on iOS and Android.
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need MKBHD but for crypto where he reviews these dogshit infra plays that are at 5B FDV
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reason you need a token
tier 1
L1s: something at stake for consensus
DA layer: need to slash if someone withholds data
tier 2
applications: need governance?
L2s: need governance?
whoever figures out how to create a tier 1 justification for L2s will change the game
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🧐
Teams who arbitrarily want to "partner," and then quickly announce that "partnership," are generally not to be taken seriously.
Tho their tokens may temporarily go parabolic thru a combo of viral marketing & market-structure gimmicks, such projects are often one-cycle wonders.
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thinking about how if theranos had a token the founders and vcs would have made a bag
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protocol team: we have a new idea for how to sequence transactions
community: that sounds like a good idea let’s do it
flashbots: isn’t there somebody you forgot to ask?
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ethereum people slashing themselves into poverty because of a bug in geth and then devolving into chaos because five loud purists on twitter don’t want to roll back is the absolute funniest end to the ethereum saga and so it is the one i am rooting for
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we are one banger meme away from convincing the core devs to prioritize execution on the L1. keep grinding folks
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if you have an ai coin trading thesis that’s called a gambling addiction
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yano concern trolling about the coindesk acquisition and then proceeding to angel invest in every deal he sees while coindesk laps blockworks in investigative reporting is tough
5/ That gets to this deal.
Today Bullish announced they're buying CoinDesk.
This is like Binance buying CoinDesk.
Or Nasdaq buying the WSJ. Or BlackRock buying Bloomberg.
It crushes the editorial integrity of the brand. I'd assume every reporter will leave within 6 months.
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you can either have an opinion about the viability of ePBS or you can have a girlfriend but you can’t have both
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solana bros maybe learn what slashing is and try adding it to your proof of stake network before winding up to dunk on eigenlayer
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you’ve been holding defi governance tokens which have been down only for three straight years, are you really going to get shaken out by the founder dumping the majority of the supply on your head and sending it to zero?
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i miss when the scams had crazy elaborate “roadmaps” so we could at least pretend it wasn’t just gambling
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