James Bond 007 in Equestropussy
@tupacdurex
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Pinned Tweet
I am ready to hatch a post years in the making that nobody asked for. An essay, or something resembling an essay, on the movie Pre-Code comedy duo nobody cares about, Bert Wheeler and Robert Woolsey. I am sorry for this but not really. Read it and weep.
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If i got caught by scooby doo and his gang I would just take my own life.
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if you strike me down, i shall become more injured than you can possibly imagine
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Welcome soldier to the fucking iraq wars. Here's your machine gun and standard unlimited ammunition . collect Red Orbs to spend at the shop
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Any filmmakers: this is how you end a movie
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Covid was such a bad idea to begin with. But no one would Listen.
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Q: where would you like to see your self in 5 years
A; eating pussy and then i find 20 dollars in there. Next.
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me: hey, uh, want to cam chat
girl: gimme a sec to fix up. i look like shit, Lol
me: ha ha okay. Don't you dare look like shit to me ever.
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I like it it's good. to bad it sucks and I hate it.......
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40 YEAROLD MAN FOUND CRYEING INDEFATIGABLY IN WALMART. SAID TO HAVE SEEN "COLLEGE RULED" NOTEBOOK SAYING "IT DID I MISS IT SO DAMN MJUCH"
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@hehefunnys
Insane 8 year old pedophile reacts to being mercilessly tortured in life sentence by certified lord
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the greek statues really love to show their dick and balls. and guess what. I love seeing them.
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pounding down on a womans god given scrooge with my wild grinch
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My wife.... i married my high school sweet heart. my best friend. we were married for nearly 60 years. and now shes passed on. I still cant believe it.. We put her in the ground today. Not a cloud in the sky. I will miss her. I really loved fucking that pussy.
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Proud to have screened what turned out to be the most evil movie in cinema history on boby games crazy hair day, to 80-90 people. It's more evil than Bald (2008) whose director later tortured and murdered his fiancée. The damage is done
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🌝 hanging out 🌚
👕 🍺 🎮🎮 👔🍕
👖 🍔 🍗 👖
the official tweet of hanging out
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This little heart of mine? [condescendingly laughs for a moment but then shifts to a serious tone] I'm gonna let it shine
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mom: taylor why are you still single
me: *lights up cigar which explodes & leaves soot which gives me blackface* me no know
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The teacher asks for the homework. I start smoking in class I'm 12 years old. "whatever. it fucka sucka dick ass anyway. also i'm anarchist"
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Makes me fucking sick people always on their phones . why dont they instead talk to the people in front of them who are dumb as shit
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no thanks, i already fucked the horse i rode in on.
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Ellen Degenris you have fucked up. You should not have done that. You sucked your own shit.
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bunch of guys in ski-masks+spats with tommy guns rob a sperm bank and making the getaway while opening the vials and chugging the cum
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I like the sopranos, steely dan, dark souls, and evangelion.
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Put obama's playlist on at work and everyones impressed with my taste and the diversity of artists, styles, and well, I couldnt help myself from saying I made the mix myself.
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we've deployed the grinch in the middle east approx 9:35am . hes already wiped 3 races of people from existence . we are losing control
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Lady will you shut the fuck up!!! im trying to deliver your baby but your screaming is pissing me off... youre being a real bitch right now.
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The grinch leaps down the chimney . he goes feet first and his dick is dragged upward against the chimeny into his face as he slides down.
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coworker wearing bolo tie & leather vest is looking at pics of golden handguns. ive been using the internet all wrong
http://t.co/cyXa0qIk8L
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[to myself when ever i see any pregnant lady any where] gad deam shes fine ...... no wonder she’s pregnant.
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You laugh because i’m different. I laugh because the girl reading this is so fucking smart and beautiful.
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When I pass away, I want to go to heaven so bad. I fuck wit that
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Me going out after covid meeting up with friends.
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the restraining order on me is kinda goated.
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my new idea is UberCrash where you call an uber send your enemy with them and the driver crashes the car killing them both inside
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I married my best friend. Why? Because she is extremely sexy, hot, has huge mega ones, a downtown beehind of an ass, and a skin-tight P.U. double snakes Y i fo sho fuck with.
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Thank you everyone to coming to my wedding. i married my wife and best friend, and ive jacked off to her. ive Jacked Off to my Best Friend.
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me: did you cum?
lady: What the fuck
me: .... when you fell from heaven.
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a: lets get it on like donkey kong
me: nice..
[days later, pulling into 7/11]
me: i wont take too long like donkey kong
a: shut the fuck up.
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My zoom mic was unmuted so accidently the Entire Board of Directors could hear me say to myself My Squirter is outside of my pants, its out baby, my boss is right there baby and my Scorner is bare, I'm not touching it Im not touching it, woops almost touched it, that was close
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hey baby did it hurt? when you fell out of a guard tower
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When the grinch stole christmas it was Whoville's 9/11
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sweetie QT: you could talk to me like a real person but instead you keep using that stupid grean bean language
me: aw comb owen babey
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@E1podcast
Call your Lawyers
A ‘COLA WARS’ movie is in the works.
The film follows Pepsi’s attempt to challenge Coca-Cola’s century-long reign as the world’s top cola.
(Source: Deadline)
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(to person pushing their broke down car on the roadside) hey man its easier if you get inside the car and drive it
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seeing a lot more parents with tattoos and looking more bad ass..the only way teens can rebel against their parents now is to get a vasectomy
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baby does the carpet in your house match the drapes in your house. Thats beautiful, wonderful decor. now tell me about your pussy now
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I booted up Tinder. Surely enough, I started swindling.
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hmm honestly I don't think she should have chosen to be blind
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was in line for 2.5 hrs to vote what a scam. what a fucking travesty. im an american hero more than soldiers
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*my best friend i married stirs slightly in the bed we mutually share* shut the fuck up......... you Stupid Fucker
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divorced my best friend who i was married to. I fought my best friend in court for our children, who my best friend made
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Wait a second. you have something on your shirt *person looks down, fooled to the bone, i start shooting him with a pistol** Made you look.
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007 I've poisoned you. You'll be at 1 HP soon. Shag me for the antidote. But you can't, can you? I have no holes, no orifices, no apertures. A God. But shagging me is the only way to retrieve the serum. My plan is perfect.
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hm yes that is quite messed up.
?? Why would I have wanted a 4 x 6 mm print? Like why even have that option lol
@cvspharmacy
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Ninja is driving the Cash Cab to David Busters doing the Harlem shape
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i'm returning the dick pic you sent me 3 years ago. I have no need for it anymore.
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the mandalorian and the irish man are married and the marriage story is about them
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You’re pleasuring yourself to a pic of someone extremely hot, everything you want in a tight lil piece—the person of your dreams. At the exact moment prior to climax, I sneak in from behind and slide a picture of a dog in front of it. I can’t believe you masturbated to a dog.
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I've married my best friend. Now theres nothing left to do in this world but to take my own life.
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Dude you gota see this. There's a bunch of girls gone wild girls at Hooters. Its so hot I nutted as i was saying the previous sentence to you.
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