Triggery Fingers
@triggeryfingers
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Following
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AM Memes/PM replies. Mother of Wildlings. Bonafide woman. Southern AF. Militant homeschooler. Disappointed in your logic. #2A #10A . Pronouns: Y'all/All Y'all
Final Firing Position
Joined January 2022
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Pinned Tweet
"Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory."
- Coco Chanel
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How the fuck did it become possible to make six figures and live paycheck to paycheck?
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GM Twits! ☕️☀️🤘 Here's a pic of me and my tiny sexist weiner.
@G_ontheranch
@realshlippi
@muradtexas
@Arizona_LP
@AZHouseDems
Lmao gun nuts are always racists and sexists---also compensating for their tiny wieners, it is hilarious
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I'm sorry y'all. Frank didn't make it.
Sometimes that's just how it is on the farm. But we always try.
#RIPFrank
🐽
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Some of y'all have never been properly groped in a movie theatre, and it shows.
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As it sometimes happens on the farm, we have several litters due at once. The one yesterday was perfect for a first time mom.
Just found another first timer with a pig on the ground, this one a wee weak little piglet who, according to every single wise farmer of livestock you
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Mike Rowe
Who is the best modern role model men have for masculinity right now?
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On the road, just wondering what unsolicited advice the men of Twitter have for me today. 🥰
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@SameeraKhan
Lol she didn't even talk about manual labor. She talked about what color stain and how pretty the exposed trusses would be.
You're so scared somebody might see how capable she is you've got to try and get ahead of it 😂
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I JUST SPENT A HUNDRED DOLLARS ON MILK, CREAM, CITRONELLA CANDLES, 3 CANS OF SPRAY PAINT AND A CHOCOLATE BAR THAT'S HOW
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People always tell me to get a splitter. But I'm 1- working out, 2-perfecting my axe murder skills, and 3-managing stress.
I'll never be fat and depressed on a couch with multiple enemies running free, I can tell you that.
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30 and up Twitter, drop a pic with your age. 👀
This is 40! 🤘
30 and up Twitter drop a picture with your age. 👀🥰
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@DrProudman
Or everyone can just do whatever they want and we don't have to make it a thing
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While y'all are twisting your panties in all caps about whatever's going on out there, I'm outside enjoying the sun and teaching my daughter how to burn it all to the ground.
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I played mom, wife, nurse, corporate deal closer, sous farmer, and swine vet today.
Felt pretty good.
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Get married. Have babies. Make good choices. Be so happy they hate you for it. 🥰😘
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Still waiting for my coffee.
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Can someone please explain the serious face reason why New Jersey will not allow people to just pump their own fucking gasoline?
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I'm sitting in the shade, watching my husband build stuff, listening to two kids sing Bob Marley and eat strawberry shortcake on the porch while the other one naps in the swing beside me.
It's a beautiful Mother's Day. ❤️
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About to put all of this to good use.
It's hunting lane clearing day.
GM Twats ☀️☕️ 🤘
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@PTOmnivore
@vickiringer
Oh, she made a whole lot of choices. Do you reasonably think she was going to choose spending several hundred meth dollars on an abortion?
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My dudes, is this real?
Nobody told me one day you just wake up and find women in their 40’s extremely attractive.
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Pineapple goes on pizza.
Beans go in chili.
But when you put nuts in a cookie, you've gone too far.
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10yo: If there are watermelons, there have to be air melons, earth melons, and fire melons.
Me: That's not logical, why is it necessary that -
10yo: THE ELEMELONS
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Last sober pic of the day. That cooker in the background has my dinner in it, and the cooler is calling my name. ☀️🍺
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When Twits collide. 😍 Found
@tweetsmoe
eating tacos and drinking tequila.
Where's that leg hater lady? We would like a word.
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He's nursing now, that's him on the left. It's the single best indicator that he could live. If they don't nurse right away, they're done for.
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We have reached the Ask Me Anything portion of the evening.
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Sorry to selfie you twice in one afternoon but I like my hair so I'm not really that sorry
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@Factschaser
Care to enlighten your congregation as to the policies that destroyed jobs and commerce in these cities?
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One year from now, we will be moving out of our house and into a giant RV to take our kids road schooling full time for a coupla fewish months or years, who knows.
I've been creating a brand kit & YouTube channel.
Oh, lort.
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I'm just fuckin' around, I can't be held responsible for knowing the lyrics of bridges, okay?
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Y'all like my patch kit outfit?
Also, does this count as sidewall?
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Tell that hooker who hates legs that I made it to the lake.
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Other couples: "Let's take a romantic candlelit bubble bath and listen to some mood music 😍🔥😈"
Us:
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My sunburned nose says hello from the pickup line.
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Not sure if getting your eyebrows done is LFG worthy but LET'S FUCKIN GOOOOOO
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Good morning Twats! ☀️☕🤘 I guess I can tolerate this for a week.
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GM Twits ☕☀️🤘
The older I get, the less makeup I wear, and the more I love the lines on my face.
They are made up of laughter and tears and memory and motherhood.
Now you!
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Fall is for cowl necks and going back to my regular chestnut hair-do 🤘
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I got a magpie over here telling on me but we might have a chance. Somebody's running dogs a couple miles over. 🙄
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Thanks for all the birthday wishes y'all, I feel like a dick for not responding to everybody, but it's the mountain's fault, not mine.
Happy my birthday to all of you!
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@BudLightSadness
Kids with Downs grow up to be adults who report being happy with their lives at a rate of 99%.
This is not an exaggeration. It was a study by Harvard.
They have so much to teach the rest of us.
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He bought me a new strap so I did a fashion show. 💅👠
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I've been catching a fox out on my trail cam that lives about 50 yards from Frank's nest.
I will wear that fox as a hat if he fucks with my piglet.
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Frank is sooooo little compared to the others. Small, but mighty 💪🐽
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Don't misunderstand.
When we say the only active support we've seen out here are private organizations and citizen volunteers, we say it proudly.
The only state officials we've seen here are blocking the road and slowing people down. I'm sure that individually, they mean well,
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Good morning, Twats ☕☀️🤘
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GM y'all.
Please keep my bestest ever doggo in your thoughts.
Rufus Pearl got in a fight with a pig yesterday trying to bring her back into the fence.
I've got him fixed up for now, but he's stuck pretty good in a couple places. Will be calling the vet shortly.
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@SonyaShaykhoun
How do you know a licensed vendor doesn't also do that shit and clean up for certification time?
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Good morning Twats ☕️☀️🤘
Is it STFU Friday or FAFO Friday?
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I want to shut down the government in EVERY circumstance.
McConnell: “It's pretty safe to say we all agree we need to avoid a government shutdown. Under no circumstances does anybody want to shut the government down.”
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Took this little dude down the lane to pew some pews.
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Who knew it would warm up enough to wear clearance rack bathing suit bottoms and my bra to the pool 😘☀️🤘
#redneckvacation
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So I think I want to get into archery. Not necessarily hunting, TBD, but just as a fun thing to teach myself.
I really think I might like to start with a traditional or long bow. I know nothing.
What say you, archers?
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Still getting used to my hair being short while I pretend to do work all day.
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You think they'd get mad at me for hanging with you guys instead of working on revenue strategy?
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We always get the pigs loaded when I help is all I'm saying
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Show us a photo in your glasses because we need to see them 🥸
Show us a photo in your glasses because we need them to see 🤓
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I met my husband in left field. He was the coach for a women's rec league ball team I joined. I moved in 3 weeks later.
Next month is 20 years. ❤️
I met my wife ballroom dancing. It took some persistence on my part to secure a first date, but I’d say it’s paid off.
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