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Phase 2 again... alright Louisiana it’s time to open up some illegal underground bars like it’s the 1920’s again
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Anybody wanna come toss me a beer and maybe watch me almost fall off? Lol
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I hate a “you should have came met us” ass person. Like I would have fucking been there if I would have gotten invited ya dick!
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John Bell just said that hurricane Laura wasn’t catastrophic... like did more people have to die and be homeless for this shit to be considered a fucking major disaster??
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How the fuck do y’all think it’s a good idea to get engaged after only being together for a couple months or a year??
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Having a Cajun accent is both a blessing and a curse cus everybody loves it but at the same time nobody can understand a fucking word we’re saying 😂
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I’m trying to find somebody that’s beautiful crazy but instead keep finding crazy crazy. Smh that’s why ima stay single single!
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If you say you’ve been to Louisiana and you say you went to Shreveport... no tf you didn’t you were in South Arkansas
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Thank you to the linemen, thank you to the first responders, and thank you to the fellow neighbors that are doing all they can to get SETX & SWLA back on track!
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I pay Verizon a shit ton of money only to end up with some Sprint fucking service and a phone you can barely hear me talk in
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Fuck I’d love to make my girls day by sending her some flowers. Only thing is I don’t have a girl but I have beer so I think I’ll just drink me one of those instead
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This chick pulled my boy to the side last night and said she needed to talk to him and fucking told him that she had a thing for bald guys and wanted to rub her pussy on the top of his head
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Here’s a little poem I heard today:
“I don’t like golf
I don’t like swimming
I just like chasing
Them big butt women”
IYKYK
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You don’t need to “rt for luck” just have faith in God that good things will come your way!
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Mom just told me that we’re doing an adult Easter egg hunt with alcohol and money and that’s why my family is better than yours
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When you hear me say “I don’t give a Fuckkkk Kiesha” this is what I’m referencing lol
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This is for all those who’ve never seen what a baby crawfish looks like🦞
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Just trying to see something but what y’all think about this swamp picture I snapped Sunday?
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If you snap your fingers and do your step you really can do it all by yourself
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This chick gunna slide in my dms acting like “I really miss talking to you” like bitch you stopped talking to me for another guy... Get your ass to the back of the line and stay there!
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Damnnn, they cheated on you... again... for the third time??
Wow, definitely didn’t see that one comin!
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I’ve only ever bought one chick flowers in my life and I’ll be dammed if I ever waste money on that shit again. The next ones just gunna have to settle for a BBQ plate lunch or something
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I kinda hate that I was raised in South Louisiana because I’m spoiled to the best food in the world and any food outside of our area just tastes like trash
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I was all about this chick and then she pulled out a cigarette while on FaceTime and now I gotta do the heisman on that hoe
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When your girl starts acting childish just start making airplane noises then shove your dick in her mouth
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No matter what happens one things for sure and that’s that Cajuns will always come together as a family and rebuild like we always do cus you can’t put a Cajun down!
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Some girls would rather be treated like shit than be treated like a queen but hey you can’t fix stupid 🤷🏻♂️
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Someday I’ll walk up to the DJ request Pieces to my Heart and grab my wife to dance and drunkenly sing my heart out to her while we’re both stumbling on the dance floor having the best night of our life
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Am I the only one that says “Got damn” instead of “God damn” (lord forgive me) or was I the only one raised right?
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The fact that people really call into a radio show and say “my girlfriend is texting another guy and won’t let me see the messages what should I do?” Like wut do you mean, get rid of the bitch you dumbass!! 🤦🏻♂️
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I drink with my mom
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“Payton your like the little teddy bear that everybody picks up for a second, gives it a squeeze, and then puts it back on the shelf because they found something better”
My buddy describing my love life to a T last night and that shit fucking hurted cus it’s true as fuck lol
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We’re all out here just trying to be loved and fucked right and we ain’t getting either one
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This indo shit is a lot tougher than you’d think but this is only day one
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UT fans be like: YoU mEsS WiTh ThE bUlL yOu GeT tHe HoRns
LSU fans: BITCH HAVE YOU EVER FUCKED WITH A TIGER???
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You know what’ll turn that frown upside down??? Crawfish... crawfish and beer my dudes 🤙🏼
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Bruh Lake Charles drivers will literally hit their brakes when nothing is even in front of them
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Imagine getting your heart broke by a girl with no ass and everytime you eat a pancake you get sad all over again
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If we ain’t singing this a the top of our lungs when it comes then you gots ta go fo sho!
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And cue that bitch that’s about to quote tweet this saying “This type of thinking is the reason why we’re not moving forward” 🙄
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“Bro you would really move all the way over there for a girl???”
WITHOUT HESITATION!!!
I would legit follow that girl to the ends of the world if she asked me, because she’s worth that much!
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Those almost relationship breakups hurt almost as bad as regular breakup
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Cinderella removed one shoe and found the love of her life, u removed all your clothes and he still left
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My biggest flex is not needing coffee or energy drinks to get me through my day
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I know I’m shy as fuck the first time you meet me but I swear once we get past that you’ll see I’m actually fun to be around
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Are you gunna let me lick toaster strudel icing off your tiddies or not??
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If you’re going to Mamou Monday I hope it raw dawgs you and gets you pregnant
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Canoeing, boating, tubing.... shit I’m just ready to be on the water dawg!
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My house is gunna have hardwood floors just so I can pull the kids around on a blanket and sling their little asses across the house
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Too all my friends that tell me to lower my standards...
IT AINT HAPPENIN CAPTAIN!!
It’s better to be single with high standards than in a relationship settling for less.
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I may tweet some vulgar shit every now and again but I’m really just trying to take somebody on a date and love the fuck out of em
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If your friends jumped off a bridge would you?
Me and my friends:
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If I see another tweet about how the weather went from this to that like it saw a state trooper I’m gunna punch yo momma square in the mouth
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If you lookin' for me I'll be on the block with my thang cocked possibly sittin' on a drop now
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Why can’t I just find the love of my life as easily as Billy Currington did in Good Directions??
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Some of us are trying bro
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I need an ol lady so I can eat her out, fuck, and then cuddle up and sleep like a fucking baby
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