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@totallynotems_

Followers
3,754
Following
1,468
Media
459
Statuses
44,795

From the river to the sea 🇵🇸

Stamford Bridge
Joined November 2020
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“Yea professor I’ve just been having family issues and it’s really affecting me mentally so I was wondering if I could get an extension for the assignment…"
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I need the price of tripods to increase by astronomical levels
@ericvdunn
Rev. Eric Dunn
6 months
Quick run to the Jaguars game
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I remember one time when I finished arguing with bare ppl on twitter and my little brother went missing. I couldn’t even ask for help 💀💀💀
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If you’re a man and you’re reading this just know no one will ever do this for you. You’re a bad person and happiness is beyond your reach
@19Phranchize
Cult of Personality
1 year
I’d melt dawg I truly would melt lol
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Not while I’m alive
@PHREN0L0GY
MAX 🇰🇪🇳🇬🌸
3 months
Tongue kissing is a lost art
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I’ll be so real, these men can’t handle all that
@LoveIsland
Love Island
1 year
Whitney proving she is *that* girl #LoveIsland
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I just can’t imagine being a boy
@girlyarchives
𝒜.
4 months
🤎
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Buying your nigga some Amiris when you know he need a leapfrog is crazy
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Thank you guys for commenting. Now I can block all my broke male mutuals
I’m looking for a guy to just spend money on at this point
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He’s such a baddie
@Dami__Hope
Dami Hope
2 months
Flights booked 🇲🇽✈️
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Y’all draw the line at marriage but be having kids at this age?
@liyahmoneyyy
that girl
1 year
who tf dating to marry at this age be fr
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Dealing with a Nigerian man will do that to you
Mimii first episode vs Mimii episode 11, Ayo has drained the life out of her 💔 #loveIsland
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This new face is tea sorry
@ThePeachReport
The Peach Report
4 months
Nene serving looks with boyfriend Nyonisela at a friends wedding in Atlanta. #RHOA
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Jollof rice>>> Mac n cheese
@NigeriaBasket
D’Tigers | Nigeria Basketball
3 years
NIGERIA BEATS USA!!!!
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Having a crush on someone and never telling them is an amazing feeling
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1 more year and you’ve got yourself a bachelors degree in mass communication
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Screaming “free tory!” and “the system is fucked” all the way from Lagos Nigeria is killing me😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Skinny women acting like they’re oppressed will forever be the funniest thing to me
@crystalbaee1
ιтѕяєαℓℓу¢яуѕтαℓ
2 years
Now the world love skinny girls chileeeee😭
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If we start today we can be like this by the end of next week
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Too many of y’all asking for a good woman for Christmas. Idk how I’m supposed to be under so many trees at once
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I feel like white ppl always stare at us because they wondering how we’re free now
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@theerealraissa My body was so stiff🤣😭😭. I was like “bro if I post this boy the way they’ll use this shit as ammo” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Being a terrible woman>>>
@IfunanyaRE
insert name here❔
7 months
I love how Tanya has turned Shaq into an Amapiano warrior. Are y’all hearing these sounds 😭 #LoveIsland
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Cheating ass niggas always the loudest😂😂
@davido
Davido
3 months
My wifes birthday in a bit !! We’re running mad!!!!!! We must celebrate a great woman!
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Can’t believe some of you will never know what Sauga in the night time feels like
@iconiksongs
songs that changed history
7 months
break from toronto by partynextdoor.
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A white man just tried to move to me. I need to put my wig back on. Fuck this natural hair shit
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Just found out that on the 31st of December Winnipeg police killed a 19 year old Nigerian boy who was experiencing a mental health crisis. I need the name, Afolabi Stephen Opaso everywhere.
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Never disappoint ke?🤣🤣🤣
@itsjj_ldn
J.
4 months
For my wedding I’m getting a Nigerian tailor, they never disappoint!!!
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A fool at 50 is a fool forever
@mobytoolz
Jamila 🇳🇬◽
3 months
“There’s no marriage without fights, if my husband sexuålly abuses my child, he’ll be reported but that doesn’t mean I’ll divorce home him” Woman says. P.s: this is not scripted
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If I had my way in this world a lot of Nigerians wouldn’t exist
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I loveee meeting ppl from african countries that aren’t well known. Like omg wdym you’re from Burkina Faso?!? Tell me moreee
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If I gotta pay $50 for that shit it better come with Vybz Kartel
@TheJobfather__
The Jobfather™️ 🇯🇲🇨🇦🇬🇧
8 months
7/10….but for $50 CAD it needs to at least be an 8.5
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They’re literally all too timid for her
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What in the Square One is this
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Icl a big turn off is always seeing a guy liking and retweeting things that have to do with hating or even just insulting women
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She’s so ridiculously fine
@DAMIADENUGA
Dami’ Adenuga
6 months
Tiwa savage giving us hot hot 😍😩❤️
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I don’t think y’all understand how spicy love island is getting LOL. Ekin-su’s friend who controls her Instagram account blocked Davide after that useless post his family/friends made😭. How is there beef even outside the villa? #LoveIsland
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If you say "I’m not african but my parents are". Block me
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I’ve accepted I’m not a mysterious babe, I like to put my madness on full display
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A likkle “jheeze whose dattt” can really make someone’s day in Toronto
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@IXOrijin No, who asked?
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Why do Americans love dressing like this?
@jayyvswrld
3 months
this not normal to yall?😭
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I got food poisoning dawg wtf
Asked the Jamaican lady for my receipt and she kissed her teeth. This shit bouta slap
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I’ll be so real, the only reason they have the audacity to post this is because they know you guys love to forget sins and will be there with your bikinis and B22’s next year
@DLTBrunch
Days Like This
17 days
What a way to end DLT Malta ‘24!💃🏾😍 Thank you everyone❤️
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@leeyumsky @DanishaCarter4 Only a select few will experience it but the ones who read my tweet won’t
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I miss old Toronto slang. Fuck all this new shit, I wanna call someone a bean again
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@Mister_papi7 And you know I have serious pride 😭. I drove around looking for him all by myself. My neighbors were talking bout some “call the police” I was like are you mad??? So they’ll carry my story?!?? Abeg😭😭
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If men really heard the way their friends talk about them they’d re-evaluate their circle lol
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@Tokieo1 Yea we did. He good😭
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But when I said majority of UK men act like 15 year olds y’all ain’t wanna listen
@heretopre
The Great 🇰🇪 FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸
1 year
Everyone can make up their own minds
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@youneedacatchup @trapyeezus They’re out there but you won’t experience it
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I don’t even know which one of my niggas to think about
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@AriaMcmayo AND DID!!!
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I hate my roster
@shawtylovejaaay
Jay 💫
1 year
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Pakistan and Lil Dyke
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Nicki Minaj is starting to give bobrisky
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I was wondering how ppl in the UK are always flying to all these vacation spots then I checked the ticket prices… you guys are blessed
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No confusion, no disappointment, no doubt of things not working out. Just some good old admiration from afar and great pre-sleep fantasies
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I hate when ppl don’t get their birthday cake in the flavour I like
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Jamaican artists will spend 3 minutes singing about one woman’s hole and I just think that’s absolutely romantic
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You lucky I’m not in LA rn bitch. I would’ve robbed you
@atiralyonslabel
Atira Lyons Label
2 years
The Historical 1st Durag Store is Closing <3 Come out and shop one last time this Saturday February 5th! 7262 Melrose Ave Los Angeles CA
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I know 6 Filipinos that can sing better than Mariah the scientist
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Idk who lost their iPhone 13 in Walmart but pleaseee stop calling my new phone
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There’s too many TikTok food reviewers pls start applying at Service Ontario. They need y’all over there
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I miss my circle family so much. Idk you ppl😭😭
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This is at least $70 in your hand. No I don’t ever babe
@tinysofire
tinyy
9 months
Y’all ever get bored & just…
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Gabby Petito went missing and the whole world stopped breathing. Lauren Smith-Fields hasn’t even gotten quarter of that kind of attention. Black women deserve better!!! #JusticeForLaurenSmithFields
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Idc how much I want a relationship.. I’ll never settle😂😂. If you actually don’t fit in my future there’s no way I’m taking you serious
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I’m too Toronto for this tweet because I was thinking something very different😭😭
@MuchoTV2
Oluwamucho
8 months
The most effective form of cardio imo… especially if you live in a tall building
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@missmisturahh Especially that fool
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Baby this is bomb😂
@maniposteddthat
MÄNÏ ★
5 months
I am not this grown yet
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I’ve never bought tickets so fast in my life. Davido I’m comingggg😩
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I knew York wasn’t a real school when I found out they serve cocktails on campus. It’s basically toop lounge
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These are the ppl we have doing “research” 😭😭😭😭😭
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Who’s in Toronto caribana weekend? (Must be circumcised)
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@Shariceeei No like he can go to hell. He said I had an attitude cause I was ignoring him and went on about how I need a “real man” to correct all that shit 😭
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Before Toronto men eat your coochie they be like “you’re lucky I like you”. Bitch I don’t care😭😭
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One time my professor replied “No” to my email. No hi no hello no I’m sorry you’ve been going through that. Just “No”. This is my villain origin story
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@4waIletsfull Accept it now before it’s too late
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Anyone who thinks like this is not having casual sex. You’re looking for love where there is none and need to admit it
@naylashay_
PINK FRIDAY 2 🎀
7 months
Casual sex does not benefit women
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@GodofSyne I genuinely hope this made you feel better. I can tell it’s been heavy on your chest
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Disrespect can close a lot of doors that an apology can’t reopen
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She was the baddest He was the realest
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@PascalAdesina FINE BOY NO WHARRTT?? NO MONEY
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A yt boy asked me out today. I need a better wig
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@Brainyattah Stop caring
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No other community turned this man’s success into a gender debate. I hate you guys so much and I’m not even joking anymore
@ItsLaDarrion
LaDarrion Williams
8 months
My thoughts exactly. But a lot of folks ain’t ready for this convo. ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️
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Why’s he acting like he shared a cell with Vybz Kartel? 💀
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As a former lover of Nigerian men, I can confidently tell you she won’t smile again for the next 3 years
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And just like that Burna boy’s gonna win another Grammy
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One thing about me is once you show me you’re a real friend I’ll match that shit times 3
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I remember back in high school when niggas didn’t want me… they still don’t but I’m just saying I remember
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He bouta enter the husband league and give Russel Wilson a run for his money😭😭
@wavyemma
WAVYEMMA 🫧
10 months
this was the easiest question i’ve ever answered in my life. it was something straight out of a fairytale! 💛🌻💍
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If you a nigga and you in my close friends just know you never gon hit. We family now
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Love island tomorrow 😩
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GIRL ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!?!? WHERE IS TORONTO????
@theestallion
TINA SNOW
4 months
HOTTIESSS GET READY TO COME HAVE SOME FUN WITH ME AT THEE HOT GIRL SUMMER TOUR ☀️☀️☀️ Get your outfits ready nowww! We getting started this MAY 🔥 I told you what cities today to get yall prepared! Check back in on thee 20th for official dates 😜😜😜 im so exciteddddd
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It’s so funny when I’m at work and interracial couples think I’m gonna help them
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Canada needs to stop all this bullshit healing and reconciliation towards the indigenous community and start some accountability and consequences
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