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@totallynotems_
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From the river to the sea 🇵🇸
Stamford Bridge
Joined November 2020
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“Yea professor I’ve just been having family issues and it’s really affecting me mentally so I was wondering if I could get an extension for the assignment…"
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I need the price of tripods to increase by astronomical levels
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I remember one time when I finished arguing with bare ppl on twitter and my little brother went missing. I couldn’t even ask for help 💀💀💀
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If you’re a man and you’re reading this just know no one will ever do this for you. You’re a bad person and happiness is beyond your reach
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Not while I’m alive
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I’ll be so real, these men can’t handle all that
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I just can’t imagine being a boy
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Buying your nigga some Amiris when you know he need a leapfrog is crazy
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Thank you guys for commenting. Now I can block all my broke male mutuals
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He’s such a baddie
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Y’all draw the line at marriage but be having kids at this age?
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Dealing with a Nigerian man will do that to you
Mimii first episode vs Mimii episode 11, Ayo has drained the life out of her 💔
#loveIsland
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This new face is tea sorry
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Jollof rice>>> Mac n cheese
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Having a crush on someone and never telling them is an amazing feeling
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1 more year and you’ve got yourself a bachelors degree in mass communication
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Screaming “free tory!” and “the system is fucked” all the way from Lagos Nigeria is killing me😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Skinny women acting like they’re oppressed will forever be the funniest thing to me
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Too many of y’all asking for a good woman for Christmas. Idk how I’m supposed to be under so many trees at once
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I feel like white ppl always stare at us because they wondering how we’re free now
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@theerealraissa
My body was so stiff🤣😭😭. I was like “bro if I post this boy the way they’ll use this shit as ammo” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Being a terrible woman>>>
I love how Tanya has turned Shaq into an Amapiano warrior. Are y’all hearing these sounds 😭
#LoveIsland
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Cheating ass niggas always the loudest😂😂
My wifes birthday in a bit !! We’re running mad!!!!!! We must celebrate a great woman!
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Can’t believe some of you will never know what Sauga in the night time feels like
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A white man just tried to move to me. I need to put my wig back on. Fuck this natural hair shit
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Just found out that on the 31st of December Winnipeg police killed a 19 year old Nigerian boy who was experiencing a mental health crisis. I need the name, Afolabi Stephen Opaso everywhere.
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Never disappoint ke?🤣🤣🤣
For my wedding I’m getting a Nigerian tailor, they never disappoint!!!
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A fool at 50 is a fool forever
“There’s no marriage without fights, if my husband sexuålly abuses my child, he’ll be reported but that doesn’t mean I’ll divorce home him” Woman says.
P.s: this is not scripted
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If I had my way in this world a lot of Nigerians wouldn’t exist
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I loveee meeting ppl from african countries that aren’t well known. Like omg wdym you’re from Burkina Faso?!? Tell me moreee
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If I gotta pay $50 for that shit it better come with Vybz Kartel
7/10….but for $50 CAD it needs to at least be an 8.5
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Icl a big turn off is always seeing a guy liking and retweeting things that have to do with hating or even just insulting women
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She’s so ridiculously fine
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I don’t think y’all understand how spicy love island is getting LOL. Ekin-su’s friend who controls her Instagram account blocked Davide after that useless post his family/friends made😭. How is there beef even outside the villa?
#LoveIsland
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I’ve accepted I’m not a mysterious babe, I like to put my madness on full display
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A likkle “jheeze whose dattt” can really make someone’s day in Toronto
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Why do Americans love dressing like this?
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I got food poisoning dawg wtf
Asked the Jamaican lady for my receipt and she kissed her teeth. This shit bouta slap
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I’ll be so real, the only reason they have the audacity to post this is because they know you guys love to forget sins and will be there with your bikinis and B22’s next year
What a way to end DLT Malta ‘24!💃🏾😍
Thank you everyone❤️
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@leeyumsky
@DanishaCarter4
Only a select few will experience it but the ones who read my tweet won’t
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I miss old Toronto slang. Fuck all this new shit, I wanna call someone a bean again
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@Mister_papi7
And you know I have serious pride 😭. I drove around looking for him all by myself. My neighbors were talking bout some “call the police” I was like are you mad??? So they’ll carry my story?!?? Abeg😭😭
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If men really heard the way their friends talk about them they’d re-evaluate their circle lol
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But when I said majority of UK men act like 15 year olds y’all ain’t wanna listen
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I was wondering how ppl in the UK are always flying to all these vacation spots then I checked the ticket prices… you guys are blessed
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No confusion, no disappointment, no doubt of things not working out. Just some good old admiration from afar and great pre-sleep fantasies
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I hate when ppl don’t get their birthday cake in the flavour I like
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Jamaican artists will spend 3 minutes singing about one woman’s hole and I just think that’s absolutely romantic
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You lucky I’m not in LA rn bitch. I would’ve robbed you
The Historical 1st Durag Store is Closing <3
Come out and shop one last time this Saturday February 5th!
7262 Melrose Ave Los Angeles CA
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I know 6 Filipinos that can sing better than Mariah the scientist
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Idk who lost their iPhone 13 in Walmart but pleaseee stop calling my new phone
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There’s too many TikTok food reviewers pls start applying at Service Ontario. They need y’all over there
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This is at least $70 in your hand. No I don’t ever babe
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Gabby Petito went missing and the whole world stopped breathing. Lauren Smith-Fields hasn’t even gotten quarter of that kind of attention. Black women deserve better!!!
#JusticeForLaurenSmithFields
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Idc how much I want a relationship.. I’ll never settle😂😂. If you actually don’t fit in my future there’s no way I’m taking you serious
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I’m too Toronto for this tweet because I was thinking something very different😭😭
The most effective form of cardio imo… especially if you live in a tall building
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Baby this is bomb😂
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I’ve never bought tickets so fast in my life. Davido I’m comingggg😩
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I knew York wasn’t a real school when I found out they serve cocktails on campus. It’s basically toop lounge
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@Shariceeei
No like he can go to hell. He said I had an attitude cause I was ignoring him and went on about how I need a “real man” to correct all that shit 😭
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Before Toronto men eat your coochie they be like “you’re lucky I like you”. Bitch I don’t care😭😭
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One time my professor replied “No” to my email. No hi no hello no I’m sorry you’ve been going through that. Just “No”. This is my villain origin story
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Anyone who thinks like this is not having casual sex. You’re looking for love where there is none and need to admit it
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@GodofSyne
I genuinely hope this made you feel better. I can tell it’s been heavy on your chest
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Disrespect can close a lot of doors that an apology can’t reopen
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No other community turned this man’s success into a gender debate. I hate you guys so much and I’m not even joking anymore
My thoughts exactly. But a lot of folks ain’t ready for this convo. ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️
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As a former lover of Nigerian men, I can confidently tell you she won’t smile again for the next 3 years
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One thing about me is once you show me you’re a real friend I’ll match that shit times 3
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I remember back in high school when niggas didn’t want me… they still don’t but I’m just saying I remember
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He bouta enter the husband league and give Russel Wilson a run for his money😭😭
this was the easiest question i’ve ever answered in my life. it was something straight out of a fairytale! 💛🌻💍
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If you a nigga and you in my close friends just know you never gon hit. We family now
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GIRL ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!?!? WHERE IS TORONTO????
HOTTIESSS GET READY TO COME HAVE SOME FUN WITH ME AT THEE HOT GIRL SUMMER TOUR ☀️☀️☀️ Get your outfits ready nowww! We getting started this MAY 🔥 I told you what cities today to get yall prepared! Check back in on thee 20th for official dates 😜😜😜 im so exciteddddd
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It’s so funny when I’m at work and interracial couples think I’m gonna help them
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Canada needs to stop all this bullshit healing and reconciliation towards the indigenous community and start some accountability and consequences
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