Cassandra Cassidy
@total_cass_move
Followers
345
Following
401
Media
25
Statuses
267
Personality hire/writer @morningbrew
Joined March 2023
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While we’re on the matter, no one is doing golf Twitter like
@kclairerogers
. Absolute legend
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Had the pleasure of chatting with
@KurtWagner8
about his new book, which is out today! Kurt spends a lot of the book talking about Jack Dorsey, which is unique from most other twitter/x reporting I’ve read. Can’t recommend enough.
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Karma is a bit-coin
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Obsessed with 33 year old men on dating apps who say “wants kids” but are “not looking for anything serious”
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Mama, kudos for saying that. For spilling.
"Ippei has been stealing money from my account and has told lies."
—Shohei Ohtani
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Just googled “songs to listen to when you get ghosted” unironically
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same vibe
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@samsheffer
Done! Might take a bit for the change to appear on the website. Thanks for reading/reaching out ◡̈
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clicked out of an article about women’s unhealthy obsession w skincare to see an ad about a “gamechanger” moisturizer…late stage capitalism at a glance
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Me resisting the urge to make annoying comments on literally every single slack message
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maybe now she’ll retire
BREAKING: Sen. Dianne Feinstein, a trailblazer in U.S. politics and the longest-serving woman in the Senate, has died at 90.
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not me literally lip syncing to Fast Car in LGA terminal A
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incredibly accurate. michael cassidy called her "brilliant," a word he typically reserves for irish men who play the spoons
Someone (correctly) said Irish dads all love Tina turner and icl this text from my da is killing me 😭❤️💀
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Jerome Powell’s texts after april inflation data came in cool
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Huge news for children of technologically illiterate parents
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Huge for me because 1) it's my first thing in the morning brew, and 2) i love a baseball game & this means more brewskis
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You can’t match with someone on hinge just because you want to meet their dog you can’t match with someone on hinge just because you want to meet their dog you can’t match with someone on hinge just because you
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My grand plan to make everyone care about North Carolina is going well
Despite selling tickets for as little as 45 cents, the NFL-worst Panthers played in a nearly empty stadium today.
The rainy day had a bright side — the Panthers beat the Falcons 9-7.
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I know this is not the point but dude looks like my dad if my dad was from saudi arabia instead of ireland
Yasir Al-Rumayyan has been named chairman of the newly created PGA/LIV Golf entity.
• Governor of Saudi's $620B investment fund
• Chairman of oil-giant Saudi Aramco
• Chairman of EPL's Newcastle United
• Board member at Uber & SoftBank
• Right-hand man to Crown Prince MBS
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Tressie Cottom is love Tressie Cottom is life
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From
@YahooSports
this am: The Panthers are the first team in NFL history to go an entire season without a fourth-quarter lead.
Love my team
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🚨🚨BREAKING — TOM EMMER has dropped out of the race for speaker.
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when I see a little rat outside I pretend it’s one of my dead relatives. like “oh hello aunt yvette.” like she’s just checkin in on me. makes for a pleasant interaction
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saw this live. video doesn’t do it justice
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Thank god for that
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as someone in the club I regret to inform you that it does not take care of itself
If you’ve been dropping plastic a lot and hoping it’ll take care of itself later, join the club.
(
@total_cass_move
)
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this is how I, esteemed public figure Cassandra Cassidy, hold MY pen
My 2024 is off to a rocky start, as I just learned this is how Taylor Swift holds her pen 😱
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To be at UNC for this was to be blessed
"MAYE, FOR THE WIN!" 💥
On this day in 2017,
@luke_maye
sent
@UNC_Basketball
to the
@MFinalFour
with a CLUTCH last-second shot against Kentucky!
#MarchMadness
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Got a lot of thinking to do tonight since my coworker just referred to me as a “power yapper”
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Watching Crocodile Dundee. Wouldn’t say it aged well but this was funny
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is it now
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Going on the record here to say if Rory doesn't win the Masters I am going to get bangs
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I read a lot of newsletters but there’s only one I look forward to: Lettre Recommandée from the brilliant
@laurenzcollins
never misses
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You used to be able to chew coca leaves to acclimate to the high altitude in Bolivia. But you can’t anymore. Because coke
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ISO the rat / orphan venn diagram thread … i know it’s on here somewhere
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The older I get the more I see myself turning into Mr. Robutusen
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no they're not
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are you proud of that jacket
I am proud to join
@livgolf_league
and be part of something new that is bringing growth to the sport. I have no doubt that this is a great opportunity for me and my family and am very excited for the future.
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You ever butter both sides of your toast just to feel something
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Tweet of the day
You ever switch up your hair and wonder if anyone will notice?
They notice.
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Just finished The Bear Season 2 so I’m thinking I wAnt to die
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This man. We don't deserve this man.
Dr: Almost no one knows for sure why they got cancer.
Me: I do.
Dr: 🫤
Me: The same principle that guides all life! If something can make more of itself there will be more of it. It’s evolution by natural selection, but for individual cells rather than the organism.
Dr:
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@theduskykitchen
@anjilean
@MorningBrew
OMG! I'm so glad you saw this - I wrote those recs! Big fan😊🥳
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The Jets are not pursuing Ray Romano as potential QB, sources confirm
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outstanding country
A government pilot program in Ireland is giving 2,000 artists $350 a week with no strings attached, allowing them to concentrate on creative pursuits. It's the latest sign of growing international interest in universal basic income.
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girl at a bar who meets a huge Brewers fan
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this gutted me
the best men are always gently amused at you and sort of benevolent
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James Bond fans can expect a relatively unknown male in his 30s to take over the 007 role.
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Heyo
If the deal is completed, it would be the highest price ever paid for a sports team.
(
@total_cass_move
)
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Now campaigning for someone to win a REGOT (EGOT + Razzies award)
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@joshgondelman
Hahaha omg ok operation absolutely under no circumstances do we get josh to thursday's celtics game!!!
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When I tell you i read this as Jay Leno
Jared Leto is currently climbing a hotel wall in Berlin.
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Bryson calling Yassir "H.E."
My gosh there’s a lot here. Impossible to summarize all the batshit crazy in this interview. Just spend 5 minutes watching it.
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none of these words are in the Bible
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the Google Docs app is so slow. why is it so slow. they have so much money
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No Greta Lee. No Charles Melton. The SAG Awards are dead to me.
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King
Talk show host, politician, and king of mess.
Jerry Springer leaves behind a legacy of norm-defying, provocative storytelling that laid the foundation for the current reality TV landscape.
(
@total_cass_move
)
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You know who wouldn't do this?
Testing of over two dozen melatonin “gummies” sold as sleep aids found some had potentially dangerous amounts of the hormone that helps regulate sleep, according to a new study
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@theduskykitchen
@anjilean
@MorningBrew
omg im going to cry😍it was an HONOR!! i'm so grateful you brought the world Mayumu!
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Tg I only have 38 followers
Going on the record here to say if Rory doesn't win the Masters I am going to get bangs
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