the wulf of broad st.
@torturedgenious
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Pinned Tweet
everybody wants me dead and that’s a FACT
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@hollowearthterf
whenever that image gets reposted for the same dumb reason it’s reassuring knowing it actually is the same couple in both photos
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you just know a party is getting crazy when a mf put one of these on their head
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live billionaire death countdown on the news like the ball is dropping on nye
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gas is $1.77 at sheetz, i’m putting some in the freezer for later
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the world is a beautiful place and i am no longer afraid to die
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tailgating you going 90+ mph on the freeway cos i want to get a pic of your cool license plate, killing us both
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keep finding out that i’m being posted about by femcels on anonymous private fb groups looking for dirt on me
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@chuuzus
@reyalopezz
love how this gives him credit for liking Uncut Gems, a movie that he’s in
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seeing this sign, packing my things, & immediately leaving richmond, virginia
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passed my national registry exam to be a paramedic!! 🥳😭
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tattoo artist didn’t even take a picture of my tattoo after he finished to post it—i’m gonna peel it off my skin
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it’s still not too late for me to turn this year around
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you’d be surprised how many people are exactly this nosey
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imagine you go to your birth mom’s house after not knowing her for twenty years and you see this cursed AI-generated portrait of yourself on her wall
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women love an interesting beverage. it’s what they get up for in the morning
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rejoined hinge recently and been getting a fairly concerning # of msgs from women who can’t tell this is a joke and say they *also have struck pedestrians with their vehicles before
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thinking about the four guys who showed up to the halloween party in plain clothes drinking beer together, and someone said they like their King of the Hill costumes
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will god forgive me? am i even worthy enough to love and be loved?
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i can do all things through vyvanse which strengthens me
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on a date w/ a girl and she put Eminem Real Slim Shady on the aux and started speed rapping to it in the car
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life is too short for me to be pretending to be this aloof. it’s time to dm everyone i’ve ever met every honest feeling i’ve had about them
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researching how to make a career pivot to roller-rink DJ
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sneaking up behind the big guys at the gym to let them know that the weights would be a lot easier to lift if we all worked together
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these days it’s starting to feel like i’m the only one in the world that likes to go out and party with friends, but also likes to just stay in to cuddle and watch movies sometimes
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new mitski and jackass 4 both come out on friday. big week for weirdos like me
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beat my covid allegations once again (tested negative). i’m like Neil from The Matrix when it comes to dodging covid
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McDonald’s got double cheeseburgers for $.50 and Wendy’s got $.01 burgers. They fasho feeding yall dead bodies
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i’ve been begging any local richmond house-show band to let me bring my
unplugged guitar on stage with them
and allow me to do this. like when you let your kid brother play video games with you, but his controller’s not plugged in
This is literally the funniest TikTok I’ve ever seen I think
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my son
when a cat is Orange, that can be a very special thing
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so hard to find a woman who looks like barbie, smokes like marley these days 😓
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this is what happens to you when you listen to too much shoegaze
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when somebody tells me they’re a death grips fan, im gonna start handing them one of these
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life is literally exactly like miley cryrus-the climb said it would be
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just filed for bankruptcy now i gotta wear this fucking fit everyday uggghh
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his justification was that i like going rollerskating and none of my relationships last very long (hurtful)
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met ex-gf / loml’s new boyfriend for the second time today. he said, “What’s up, Jake?” 🤠👍
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(me texting you after i’ve arrived at my destination): i’m lowkey here fr tbh i’m ngl
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11 people went into cardiac arrest at the AstroWorld concert. for comparison, i don’t think any did at the Mason Ramsey concert i went to a couple years ago
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@AKingNamedSimba
@T3xaspete
@HipHopDX
@methodman
@therealredman
lol, how did they expect 9 years olds in 2005 to get that reference
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the bicyclist i ran over with my car last summer coming back to haunt me (?)
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that phase you go through when you slowly start hating your grandma with dementia is crazy
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sowwy mister officer, i made a wittle fucky wucky 😣😓
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i had to wake up at 4am this morning because a man in his 40s called 911 bcos he had the hiccups n couldn’t get them to go away
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lucy dacus went to my hs (i never mention this). she just won a grammy and i got some cool stuff going on, also
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been saving up to get some work done on the jack wagon, but decided to try working on it myself first n managed to fix the AC, change the headlights, and fix the door latch all myself. manliest i’ve felt in 3+ yrs
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@PopBase
playing the ukulele if you’re not a fat hawaiian is the most pedophilic thing you can do, other than molesting kids
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had a dream last night that you had to listen to targeted ads before you could call 911, which was a bit too on the nose
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meeting a new therapist today after not doing talk therapy for 3 years. hopefully this guy can hang
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been off instagram for a few months now and the only thing i really miss is sharing new songs i found on my story that’s almost no one viewed and even less people ever listened to. i have to find a way to get the word out there
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there will be once my son is born
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been on a 40 hr 5-day work week for the last two weeks for the first time in over 3 years n it’s for the birds. idk how anybody ever gets anything done
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gorgeous photo i took of the full moon while stopped at a red light, right as the light turned green
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saw somebody else with a three wolf moon shirt on at the gym this morning. one of us is gonna have to change
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just finding out every man has that one videogame that reminds them of their childhood and thinking too much about it would make them cry.
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no longer mentally ill, now i’m mentally chill 😎
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as someone whose favorite pass-times include waiting for my roommates to go to sleep, so i can touch their eyes n face, and also lick all the doorknobs around the house, it’s been a v difficult time for me, actually :(
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when people view my tweet but don’t like it, it’s like seeing me on the street as a starving, orphaned child, and you happen to have a subway sandwich, yet refuse to give me half …
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i’ve slept for less than two hours total over the last couple days. that means it’s time to start responding to every post i see as if it was written for me, personally
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