Tori J.
@torijacobs
Followers
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Following
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Media
6,162
Statuses
76,586
I do too much because you do too little. Yankees. Gamecocks. Bills.
Charlotte, NC
Joined January 2010
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ITZY IS THE MOMENT
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Kim. People are dying in Winterfell!
Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs in 45 mins East Coast! Let’s live tweet!!!!
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“Barge or Marge? That’s just your average Galveston woman.”
“Who is it Chuck?”
BREAKING: A barge has hit a bridge in Galveston, Texas, partially collapsing a rail line and closing the only road to a small island.
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This and it didn’t even make the episode
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This is up there
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Darren Rovell is going to pay a million dollars for a pair of these in a few years
Augusta National handed out Masters eclipse glasses this morning. They are the coolest eclipse glasses on earth.
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99% of these are because of NeNe Leakes. She is everything
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Me after 2 drinks:
“I’m gonna be really quiet and mysterious at the social gathering tonight”
Me at the social gathering:
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This you?
Why are we trying to impress people with our outward appearance ? We spend good money on clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, accessories & cars so we look better than we are. What if we spent time & resources on whats on the inside! The Heart & The Mind ! Focus on that.
#CoachPrime
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And he gets suspended for telling the truth. The nerve
Draymond been calling everybody a bitch for four years now
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Me waiting on everyone to tell me I’m right about Spencer Rattler after tonight
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The Cavs have Tristan Thompson in 2024
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Peacock had the opportunity to gain some customers and they put Jason Garrett in the booth
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I was very ready to cut this off but i cant turn off a potential EIGHT pick game
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Should’ve played for the Jets instead of dying
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Using this on every bad take I see
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I need to examine all the celebrity all star game footage for Desus & Mero clues
Hunter Pence repped the Giants in Dodger Stadium at the All-Star Celebrity Softball Game 🧡
(via
@SFGiants
)
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Everything I am: Gorgeous, Monster, Drunk & Hot Girl and I love Kanye.
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Only way to improve the all star games is to make the athletes change sports. Giannis to Haliburton for a TD in the pro bowl. Tua tries to alley-oop to Derrick Henry but the ball doesn’t make it
I will read every single all star take today. No suggestion is too extreme. $1 million in prize money for the winner? Sure. Losers are shot out of a cannon? Yes ok. Grizzly bears as referees? Whatever it takes to save our sweet game
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WAP
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Me at Dave and Busters:
“Geoffrey, break out Lucielle”
Dave & Buster's will begin allowing customers to bet on arcade games
“Customers can soon make a friendly $5 wager on a Hot Shots basketball game, a bet on a Skee-Ball competition or on another arcade game.”
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This is my favorite show clip ever 😭
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Y’all are weirdos if you don’t love and appreciate Brett Gardner. The hate in these mentions
Aaron Boone said that he was thinking of Brett Gardner on the way to Yankee Stadium today “because I love Gardy and all that he has meant to this organization.”
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Ariana better take Tom’s band in the common law divorce and perform this at the opening of Something About Her
#PumpRules
#VanderpumpRules
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Father of a gun
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Jenny did! That’s why he loved her so much
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I’ve almost lived as many years without my dad as I did with him and knife gets twisted in my heart again every time I think about it. I’m still so angry at how suddenly he was taken from me 16 years ago today. It’s just not fair.
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@CoachMattRhule
you’re not the coach
Matt Rhule - "I'm gonna coach until someone tells me I'm not the coach."
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I support women in STEM
I support bitches on HIM (I’m Him)
I fell in love with the kickstand, I serve that bitch with my left hand
I’m bouta open a STEM lab
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“I can’t speak on any Chris, but I will speak on Christ and what he did for our guys out there”
.
@espn
ask Dabo about the Harry Styles spitting on Chris Pine thing, show him the video if you have to
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@DragonflyJonez
He’s everything you imagined and more. He was so angry and walked so hard in the hallway. You could lose a toe if his rolling book bag got you. He had the crustiest mouth corners I’ve ever seen in my life and always had an exposed booger.
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@UnderdogFantasy
How dare you fire the only guys with moral compass like a bunch of cowards. The end of Underdog is near
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Jen Shah is reposting well wishes like she’s off to serve in war and not PRISON 😭
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She’s shaking in her boots
tonight's TWS: 7:30 ET it's the news...at night!
- will
@JamPackard
make an appearance!? 🧑⚖️
- zion vs his suckstress 😳😫
- jokic da goat? 🏀
- messi to the MLS 🇫🇷✈️🌴
- elly da le cruz 1st home run ⚾️
- CP3 waived 👋
AND MORE!!!
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Exactly something Dr.Bitches would say
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Tampa Bay Ehs
BREAKING: The Tampa Bay Rays have received MLB's permission to explore becoming two-city team: the Tampa Bay area and Montreal, sources tell ESPN. The plan: Play early-season home games in the Tampa Bay area and finish the season in Montreal. News at ESPN:
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Harrison Butker-DNP(rainbow)
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@KhalilSack52
What about that statement makes me jealous? She went to Target after her diatribe about supporting small business. Miss me with it.
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My grandpa has cancer. He’s too old for surgery and he doesn’t want to do radiation. I’m heartbroken. I’ve been dreading this day since my dad passed. I can’t go through that again.
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Happy Pride
this is the funniest tweet ever out of baseball context like yes true
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Daniel Jones outside and Lamar Jackson in the backfield= Super Bowl favorite
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He’s yelling it
LMAO nah McCullers gotta be whispering "fastball" with each windup
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Stay in bounds, break your momma’s back
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They’re talking about South Carolina more than any team in the final 4 🫠
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Pedialyte water bottle? This guy parties
Flight attendant just announced they don’t have enough water for everyone on this grounded flight we’re stuck on. Ya boy is sittin on liquid gold right now. Venmo about to be so very open.
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Our long nails tapping the rim
Idk why but a bucket sound better on the womens cbb rims than the mens
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Scoob
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When she keeps clucking
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The day Stassi walks into a West Hollywood restaurant to meet Kristen on this show I will ascend
#TheValley
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Delete this and trade for Juan Soto
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Just a reminder that I’m skinny now and have beautiful long hair
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My outfit tonight goes so crazy but my eyes are the most bloodshot eyes you’ve ever seen
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In the Walmart parking lot waiting on my friends like it’s 2008
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#NewProfilePic
….apparently my previous picture meant my boobs were my whole personality so here’s my real one
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This guy failed the police academy but takes neighborhood watch very seriously
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