Top Animal Facts
@topanimalfacts
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Frogs have a 360° visual range which explains why they have netflix, disney+, prime AND apple tv subscriptions.
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Dolphins are known to be intelligent animals but they can't solve a sudoku. They claim the water makes the paper too wet to write on.
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A chicken could learn to program a computer if it wasn't a dumb idiot bird.
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An anaconda's length allows it to avoid smelling its own farts.
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Electric eels are much better for the environment than gas eels.
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An ant will literally develop the ability to lift 17x its body weight to avoid going to therapy.
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A female spider can lay several thousand eggs at once, which is why motel breakfasts can be so affordable.
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A swan's long, graceful neck can make it difficult to strangle, but soooooo worth it.
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A parakeet’s bright coloration is meant to distract you from its utter lack of personality.
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Chimpanzees throw their excrement because they haven’t invented the trebuchet yet.
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There are one million ants for every human in the world but good luck getting any of them to follow you back on Twitter.
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Elephants have such large ears because they are nosy assholes.
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A dolphin can recognize itself in the mirror, but not in its fancy new dress and hat.
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The white-headed buffalo-weaver takes about 15 days to weave a complete buffalo, so if you wanted one for Christmas you should've asked sooner.
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Lizards can grow back a lost tail, except on Thursdays.
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The Blunt-headed burrowing frog has requested you please stop greeting it with "Hey, Google..."
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Birds each have distinctive songs but they're all written and produced by the same guy.
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Crabs walk sideways so that people don't see them approaching to talk about their semester in Sweden.
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The ped ant lives outside the giant colonies because it doesn’t have any friends.
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