Toilet Paper Australia
@toiletpaperaus1
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Auspol shitposting and satire. Ignoring culture wars, and calling out Murdoch and the Liberal Party. Give our podcast “Talking Sh!t” a listen! ⬇️⬇️
Joined January 2021
Saying we shouldn’t tax corporations in Australia because “they’ll leave” is fucking wild. Like they’re all mining companies tf they gonna do, move the mines? 💀.
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10000 likes on this tweet and we’ll buy a billboard opposite this at Kew Junction with “Vote Josh Out” on it.
Buying the 3 largest billboards at Kew Junction won't make me forget that when we desperately needed leadership with grace, compassion and capacity, Frydenberg instead used the desperate predicament of Victorians to try and score the cheapest of political points. Vote him out.
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Have a succulent Chinese meal up there for us, king 😢
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If you ever feel dumb, just remember that Scott Morrison bought tanks to defend a country that only has ocean borders.
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Why is it okay for the companies of Gina Rinehart and other mining magnates to receive $14 billion in subsidies paid for by taxpayers this year alone?. Meanwhile, it’s not okay for university students to receive HECS relief because “the taxpayers are paying for it”?
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I agree Ralph. Let’s turn Australia red.
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This man owns $300 million worth of property. 1% of people own 25% of all investment properties. But according to Peter Dutton, apparently it’s “the immigrants” taking away your ability to own a home. Make it make sense.
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The Herald Sun made a bigger story out of Grace Tame refusing to smile for Scott Morrison than a literal death threat against Daniel Andrews by a sitting MP.
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1/2: When John Barilaro openly bragged about pork barrelling, the media didn’t publish his audio recordings as they “weren’t obtained with consent”. When Brittany Higgins’ accused Bruce Lehrmann of sexual assault, the media published her texts, without her consent.
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Peter Dutton owns $300 million worth of property. 1% of people own 25% of all rentals/property investments in Australia. These are the same people that tell you that immigrants are the reason you can’t buy a house.
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Don’t ever tell me again that drag queens are the real threat to children ever again
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Colesworth: “why are we being investigated, we haven’t done anything wrong”. Also Colesworth:
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Footy WAGS: “Crime in the bayside is out of control”. Also footy WAGS:
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Herald Sun: “oh my god look at this heartbreaking story about a totally ordinary Victorian ruined by Daniel Andrews and Labor…. …that just so happens to coincidentally be a young Liberal”
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Update : @TimWilsonMP is a member of the Royal Brighton Yacht Club too. Totally cool and normal and definitely not a conflict of interest…
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This man accused Anthony Albanese of having a “quiet week” while in isolation
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Anyone else find it weird that a billionaire who doesn’t live in Australia, gets to tell working Australians what is in their best interests?. Anyone?
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This is an image from the Liberal Party’s Vote No campaign rally held over the weekend. What do you notice?
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SA Liberals: *just knifed their leader*. Vic Liberals: *currently fighting in court*. NSW Liberals: federal takeover because they forgot to sign up for an election*. WA Liberals: *2 seats*. ACT Liberals: *20yrs in opposition*. Peter Dutton: “trust us to run the country”
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Today I learned that Peter Dutton holds the most marginal seat in Queensland. It would only take a 1.7% swing away from him to do the funniest thing ever…
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If you ever feel stupid, just remember that @TimSmithMP shared an anti-Scott Morrison post thinking that it was an attack on Dan Andrews.
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POV you’re a Sky News reporter making it through 2025, trying to make something up to be angry about:
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The media: “how could such extremist views exist in Victoria” . Also the media:
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This man owns a $300 million property portfolio
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Amazing how none of these nuffies had a problem when:. Tasmania sponsored Hawthorn FC. Or when the NT sponsored Parramatta. Or when Destination NSW sponsored the Socceroos. Or when Visit Vic sponsored the AFL. But apparently it’s a step too far when Visit Vic sponsors the Netball.
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One year ago, The Liberals told everyone to vote No to the Voice because we “didn’t have the details”. Now, they’re asking us to vote for David Crisafulli’s party, and we don’t know the details of their plans?. Make it make sense.
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It’s happening. Watch this space.
10000 likes on this tweet and we’ll buy a billboard opposite this at Kew Junction with “Vote Josh Out” on it.
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Ahhh yes, @CampbellNewman. As we all know, every newspaper in Queensland is owned by the famous lefty, Rupert Murdoch.
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“I promise I won’t get political” . Me, 3 drinks later:
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Funny how it’s fine when the mining industry gets billions in subsidies, but the second it’s ordinary Australians benefiting, the media says “who’s going to pay for it?”
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This you?
Imagine a world where politicians have the gall to tell the rest of us not to lie.
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Peter Dutton says he wants to “cut government spending”, which is really bold considering he’ll just hire PWC consultants to do the same work for 3x the price
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This is a real thing posted by a real candidate for the Queensland election
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So, remember that guy who was bawling his eyes out about girls attending Newington? . Turns out he has had a rather… colourful past, with some interesting interactions with the Liberal Party. And by “interesting” we mean being looked at as part of a bribery investigation.
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After months of delays, the Liberal Party costed their nuclear plan. One small problem: they didn’t even factor in how much it’ll affect power bills. I wish I was making this up.
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If you ever feel stupid, just remember that Peter Dutton spent months telling everyone that his Nuclear plan would make power bills cheaper…. …Only to release a plan that didn’t include how Nuclear energy would affect power bills.
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So the kid that threw milk at on that bridge in the Yarra had a little bit of a meltdown over being caught. Idk lil bro, you may not have experienced this, but us commoners call this “the consequences of your actions”. Maybe think about that next time.
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The one silver lining of tonight.
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Watching the Liberal Party, and Murdoch media cry over the fact that they never got rid of Dan is hilarious. The fact that he resigned on his own terms will live with them for the rest of their miserable careers. Enjoy retirement, Dan.
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This is what we’d put up. Simple, but effective.
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Same people that blame immigrants for you not being able to buy a house btw
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Just a reminder that while the US election sucks, a Liberal Party-aligned think tank is now openly calling on the Liberals to abolish redundancy pay and abolish all penalty rates. Yep. You read that right. Don’t ever let them back into office.
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Manly players: ”I don’t want to wear a pride jersey because it contradicts my beliefs”. The media: “so brave, warriors for free speech”. Australian Netballers: “I don’t want to wear a Gina Rinehart-sponsored jersey because it contradicts my beliefs”. The media: “unacceptable”.
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2/2: Why is the consent of a member of the political establishment so holy and respected to the media, yet the private messages of a woman who stands up for herself considered open slather? . If you still think the media “holds the powerful to account”, you’ve got it all wrong.
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Remember, if your biggest issue is whether or not a chain of pubs celebrate Australia Day, or if the Prime Minister stands in front of an Indigenous flag, you've been manipulated by the media to ignore real issues. Culture wars are total non-issues that deserve no air time.
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Has anyone else noticed that Peter Dutton hasn’t actually provided any detail on… well, anything that he’s promised, if he’s promised anything at all? . Why is it that the media demands detail from Labor/everyone else, but the Liberals get to simply “say” they’re doing things?
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The entire organisation of Newscorp is having a whinge that Bradman is being “cancelled”, like as if they didn’t cancel Adam Goodes in the most vile, disgustingly vicious way possible.
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John Barilaro: “All I did was push a camera out of my way” . This looks like a bit more more than “pushing”, John…
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So I just stumbled across an ad from the Victorian Liberal senator Sarah Henderson, claiming the Waurn Ponds Station upgrade and road duplication as “Liberal Investments” . One small problem… this was a Victorian Big Build project… by the current Labor Government.
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> Keep America great. You’re in Melbourne, dickhead
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“I don’t support the establishment of big nuclear facilities in Australia, I’m opposed to it” . - Peter Dutton, 2nd March, 2023
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The hardest part of promising to fix the cost of living crisis is booking the chartered flight
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According to Sky News, when Labor wants to give free lunch to kids, it’s evil “communism 101”. Meanwhile, it’s a “boost to small business” when the Liberals do it for businesses. This is from the so-called “pro-family values” party and media outlet. Make it make sense.
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Just a reminder that this exists. Ask yourself, if the entire Murdoch press needed to run a puff piece with this as the headline, is this someone that should be leading our country?
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Peter Dutton just criticised Labor for “inflationary spending”. One small problem… Labor has reduced inflation from 8% to 3%.
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David Crisafulli voted against lifting the Queensland abortion ban in 2018. Now, he is criticising the plan to give free lunch to kids. It was never about the life of kids.
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Good morning, Queensland! Just a reminder that voting has literally started, yet David Crisafulli still hasn’t actually given us any costings for his election promises! . Remember, if you don’t know, vote No to the LNP!
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The Queensland Liberals’ have refused to reveal their tax policy just four weeks before an election. The Federal Liberals have refused to release their Nuclear policy four months after announcing it. Still, they don’t get an ounce of criticism. Imagine if Labor did this.
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Liberals: “why don’t people want to vote for us anymore?”. Also Liberals:
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Liberal Party playbook:. - Vote against almost every measure to save Australian industry.- Complain when Australian businesses fail
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Or… and hear me out… if you can’t afford seven rentals, just sell your rentals?
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Peter Dutton promising to repeal Right to Disconnect laws is kinda wild, considering he shows up to parliament less than half the time. For someone who hates it so much, he sure loves exercising that right himself.
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Not only did Avi Yemini fail to fill in the correct paperwork due to his criminal record…. He set up a donation page a whole day before he was supposedly “denied” entry to NZ/Aotearoa…
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Daniel Andrews won. How could Daniel Andrews let this happen.
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Good morning! Here is a recording of LNP candidate Freya Ostapovitch allegedly promising to ban abortion!. Meanwhile, David Crisafulli has the nerve to say it’s “not part of our plan”.
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So Dominic Perrottet says he was “young and Naive” and didn’t understand the implications of dressing as a Nazi, yet won’t raise the age of criminal responsibility above 10? . So apparently a 10 year old can understand right and wrong, but 21yo Dom Perrotet can’t?.
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1/2 It’s astonishing that Newscorp and Fairfax have been endlessly crying for investigations into Dan Andrews for years, with those investigations always finding nothing. When their golden child Gladys is investigated the first time, she is immediately found to be corrupt.
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Hey @PeterDutton_MP, if you want to “ban foreign investors” buying Australian homes, why do you consistently vote against restricting it?
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I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this, buddy:
In Australia there is now “the Muslim Vote”. Does that mean we should also have. “The Christian Vote”. “The Buddhist Vote”. “The Hindu Vote”. “The Sikh Vote”. “The Jewish Vote”. Or should the @AustralianLabor stop pandering & start focusing on what’s best for all Australians ?
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In Australia, 50% of people now earn less in a whole year than the wealthiest Australians do in one hour. Those same billionaires support politicians like Dutton, who tell you to blame immigrants, and say that banning Indigenous flags at Press conferences is more important.
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If you ever feel dumb, just remember that Dutton released a one page document on nuclear energy, asking people to vote for it, while simultaneously telling people to not vote for the Voice, because there was “not enough detail”.
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In 2022 the media went into a meltdown over Albo not being able to pop quiz the cash rate. Meanwhile, Liberal leaders like David Crisafulli are allowed to dodge questions on abortion (a central debate in the Queensland election), 38 times. Parts 2, 3 and 4 in the below thread.
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So far, Peter Dutton has given us only two firm policies:. 1. Nuclear, a plan so poor that it’s. - Not properly costed .- Unknown if it’ll lower power bills (the reason why he wanted it).- Opposed by his own party in Queensland. 2. Refusing to stand in front of Indigenous flags
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Just a reminder that any Premier in Victoria that serves for more than 3000 days gets a statue. @jeff_kennett started this, because he expected to win a third term and get a statue of himself. Jeff lost and never got a statue. In February, you know who will? Daniel. Andrews.
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If you needed another reason to not vote Liberal, this is just a reminder that Deputy Liberal Leader @SouthwickMP and Victorian Liberal MLC Edward O��Donohue and are willing to rub shoulders with Avi Yemini.
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Today is a public holiday. Some of our hardest workers are earning public holiday rates. Public Holiday rates, can be the difference between making ends meet, or being out on the street. This is what Peter Dutton thinks of those rates.
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Liberal boomers complaining about the 20% HECS relief is kinda wild considering they got their degrees for free 💀.
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If you’re wondering why you haven’t heard anything from @matthewguymp or @LiberalVictoria, it’s because they held a press conference and only one person showed up. Not even their mates in the media care about them. #springst
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Imagine if everyone just stopped reading the Herald Sun.
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This you?
I don’t think it will be more beautiful when it is a view of foreign owned wind towers and transmission lines. Shame we want to wreck the joint.
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Today the ICAC hearings into Gladys Berejiklian’s alleged breaches of public trust begin today. The media’s silence has been absolutely deafening. If only they made as much noise about this as they did with IBAC in Vic last week.
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When Pine Rivers flooded, instead of providing government assistance, Peter Dutton - while in government - made a GoFundMe to make you pay for flood relief. Now, instead of a real fix to housing, he wants you to use $50,000 of your super, if you even have it.
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