Sir Tochi
@tochii_value
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A beautiful relationship/marriage would make you live long
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Pinned Tweet
I once dated a girl whom I felt was my soulmate.
Wife material, understanding, trustworthy, her yes was yes and no was no.
I could trust her with my life.
We had the same interest.
In my mind I thought I had found "The One".
I thought we were meant to grow old together till
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I remember last year when my friend and his wife had serious issues and were on the brink of ending a less-than-2-year-old marriage.
Somehow, I was able to help them and there is a lot you can learn from their story.
You see, my friend started dating his wife when she was 18.
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As a man always remember:
1) You can't negotiate genuine desire.
2) A woman is loyal to her feelings not your sacrifices.
3) You can't buy a woman's loyalty.
4) Putting a woman above your goals is like a king worshipping a queen. Makes no sense.
5) What you tolerate during
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soulmate.
What is real though, is the existence of good people.
People who would treat you how they want to be treated.
People who would love and cherish you.
People who are not perfect but are willing to be with you despite their imperfections and yours.
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The point of this story is to prove to you that the idea of "a soulmate" is just an idea. More like a fantasy.
And it's something that you should delete from your mind.
Because it blinds you to reality.
Because you feel someone is your soulmate, you begin to put in a lot of
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effort to make sure you end up together.
You become needy because you don't want to lose your soulmate.
Remember that in a relationship, the least interested person is the most powerful and that person is not you if you're putting more effort in order to end up together.
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something happened.
I decided to co-habit with her and discovered that there were lots of things wrong with her.
She couldn't control herself when she was angry and most times would threaten to stab me or herself during a fight.
Looking back, I blamed myself for a lot of
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things.
I was young and didn't lead her properly.
I never knew the importance of a woman's relationship with her parents in a relationship.
She was barely on speaking terms with her parents for years.
I also made stupid mistakes.
I overlooked lots of red flags.
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A boy who is not from a rich home, has no connections and manages to graduate from a higher institution enters the labor market.
His parents are looking up to him.
His siblings are looking up to him.
He still has to start a family especially if he is the only son.
He begins
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You see that attention you are getting from men...
You see that your ability to raise 100k in less than 3 hours just by billing 10 men N10,0000 each...
You see that "My life/my body, my choice" mentality you have...
Very soon e go clear from your eyes because here's the truth
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What happens when everything goes fine and then you end up with them but somewhere along the line they die while you're still young?
Won't you remarry?
What happens when your "soul mate" cheats on you?
Just the way the idea of a perfect person is a fantasy so is the idea of a
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Queen,
If you are in a relationship and still entertain other guys...
If you are in a relationship and still give guys your numbers...
If you are in a relationship and still post stupid stuff online...
If you are in a relationship and still go on dates with other guys...
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As a woman always remember that:
1) Attention is not interest
2) A man can do anything and literally go to the ends of the earth just to sleep with you
3) When it comes to sex, men are cheap. When it comes to commitment they are expensive
4) The way to a man's heart is not his
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There's this true story of a woman who was having serious issues in her marriage and was fed up with it.
Then she went to see her Catholic priest one day and told him everything happening in her marriage.
She told him that she was fed up and that she wanted a divorce.
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Dear queen,
Men are biologically different from women. The way he thinks and reasons are different from how you do.
Men are not less emotional but more logical. A man would be in the same house and not want to talk to you.
Not because he hates you or because you did something
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Always cherish and never forget the good times you've spent together.
Yes, correct each other and try to compromise for one another but never constantly think about your partner's weaknesses. It'll only lead to resentment.
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I have been in a relationship where I have been cheated on multiple times.
I have been in a relationship where I cohabited and almost lost my life.
And I am currently with the best woman ever.
And here are the things I wished I had done differently.
If you're in your 20s open
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It was during my trenches day.
Came back from my 15k teaching Job and was so hungry.
No food at home and no cash at hand.
I was owing almost everyone that sold provisions near my compound money and I couldn't go and meet any of them.
I kept brainstorming how to get food.
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Now they are doing fine. The point of this story is that most times we focus on the things we don't like in our partners instead of what we like.
And what you focus on grows.
For example, you have a very good guy but his weakness is that he pulls off his clothes and drops it
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How To Get A Loyal Woman.
A lot of men have gone through so much pains and regrets because they ended up with the wrong woman.
Marrying the wrong woman determines how your life would be.
This why it's important you get yourself a right woman- a loyal woman.
Here's how to do it
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anywhere.
Now instead if you to focus on his good side, you'd focus on his bad side.
And if it is something he can't change or doesn't wish to change, it might lead to resentment or fighting.
Communication and understanding are keys to a successful relationship/marriage.
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@AmaechiSharon
"People who don't know anything about them" well spoken.
That's the problem with social media advice. They don't use context. They just use their own realities and experiences to dish out advice and this is a recipe for failure.
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As a young man, if you're currently in a relationship where you're no longer respected by your woman
A relationship where you can't even tell your woman what to do
A relationship where you'll have to talk and she'll apologize but still repeat the same thing again
Do this
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I have seen women make countless mistakes in relationships.
A woman would self-destruct before having sense.
Here are some things you need to know as a woman to have a beautiful relationship:
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Then I asked my friend to tell me the experience that made him say to himself that he would marry his wife.
He told me a story of how his wife used her money to organize a small birthday party for him and prior to that he had never celebrated his birthday before.
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She was the real definition of a "wife material".
Very respectful, homely, modest, hardworking, God-fearing, and beautiful.
So my friend asked her out and after a lot of wooing and toasting, she accepted him.
Throughout the relationship, from what I observed and from what he
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of them.
My friend realized that there is more to marriage than just "owning" the person and his wife realized that she wanted more out of life than just getting married.
Gradually frustration crept in and they both became somewhat irritated by one another.
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And the best part of it all was she never used it against him.
Then I told his wife to tell me what made her say yes to him and she said it was because he genuinely cared for her and made her felt as if she was the only woman in the world.
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It got to an extent he hit her during one of their endless fights.
I never knew his marriage was like that till the day I visited them and there and then in my presence they had a fight.
I knew both of them. They were both good people with good hearts and how they got to that
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As she was saying this, her body language and his had gradually changed from resentment to accommodating.
Then I told my friend if he can begin to give her such attention and care again and he said yes and I asked his wife if she can respect him like she used to and she said yes
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After he made river naija for her in the name of pap?
She laughed and said yes.
I could see my friend smile too.
I told them that I don't care what their problems are but I am very certain that they loved and still love each other.
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I'm just seeing this.
My notifications has been off the charts.
Was watching Chelsea match.
Thank you so much Agba.
I appreciate.
This man
@tochi_value
came to my DM about a year ago to seek for advise on how to grow his page.
I wrote a long thread but Twitter glitch messed it up.
Ever since, he has been quietly building his page on his own & being mature about it.
I see potentials.
Please follow him🙏
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told me, she was fateful to him.
In a bid to make her his own he decided to marry her even when he was no yet capable of taking care of a family.
She was 21, yet to finish school and didn't really know what she wanted out of life.
After the marriage reality dawned on both
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Then I explained to them that they were partners and could achieve a lot together.
There and then, they apologized to each other
Then I gave them some NLP techniques to change how they would feel when they remember the times they've hurt each other.
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you keep doing what you are doing.
You need to desire that wealth with every ounce of your being
And no, you don't need to do fraud to be wealthy. You just need a strong "Why".
Being a man is not easy but it's our cross and we have to carry it.
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I asked his wife if she remembered one certain period when she came to my friend's house and met the concoction(food) I prepared that gave us running stomachs?
She laughed and said yes.
I also reminded her of how she taught my friend how to make pap properly
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point was something I had to understand.
I discussed with my friend that day and he told me lots of things about how his wife has been disrespecting him because of his inability to provide properly.
He also told me that he wished he had listened to my advice then and not gone
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There's only one influencer on this space that I've seen people grow their accounts very fast just by being a part of his community.
There's only one influencer I have seen consistently give shout outs to some his followers and advise others to follow them.
He's the most hated.
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Your man talks to you about a character of yours that he doesn't like and instead of you to at least hear him out and acknowledge his opinion you somehow shift the blame to him till he accepts to let peace reign.
In your mind you think you've won not knowing that deep down he's
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ahead with getting married then.
I told him that both of them are good people and that there is a solution to every problem and in their case, divorce wasn't an option.
Then I told him I would love to speak to both of them.
The next weekend I was at their place again.
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@jon_d_doe
I keep saying this. Before you do something for a girlfriend, make sure you've done 5x for yourself.
If you give her 50k a month for upkeep, make sure you've saved 250k for yourself that month.
You need to always be 5 steps ahead of a woman. Once you notice you can't keep up
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You can lead a woman and earn her loyalty to you even if you are not rich. Money alone doesn't buy loyalty.
All you have to do is constantly talk to her about your dreams, goals, and aspirations and daily put in the effort to achieve them.
The thing with most men is that you
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@jon_d_doe
Years ago when I was still a virgin trying to taste sex for the first time, I was able to woo this girl to my place.
Then we started smooching and romancing when it got to the time to do the do, I removed her undies and the odour I perceived made my rod sleep immediately.
I then
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your relationship is what you'll tolerate in marriage.
6) A woman is an angel....till she gets caught.
7) When you forgive a woman for what she knows she shouldn't be forgiven for, she'll punish you for it.
8) A woman will always look for a man better than her.
9) A woman
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There's something most men don't know about women.
98% of women don't want to hustle. They're not wired for it.
They don't want to pay bills. They just want to relax and be taken care of.
Even the so called independent women and boss ladies because the truth is this:
Women
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No man wants a woman every man has access to.
Yes, he might be giving you money when you demand it or you manipulate him for it but deep down he knows you are for the street.
He knows you can never be his own and would always be for the street.
He's probably using you to pass
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Pressurizing him would only complicate the situation. What you should do instead, is try your best to make him comfortable in that moment.
Prepare his favorite dish, give him a good massage and s3x. Because, the more he finds comfort with you, the deeper he falls for you.
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How many times have you heard a man complaining about his woman not calling him often enough?
He would rather complain about her not taking his call or not calling back.
How many times have you heard a man complain because his woman did not complement his looks?
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The under 25s.
There is a difference between attention and interest.
You won't understand this till a man chases you for a year, acting all nice and sweet till he finally sleeps with you and change.
Learn to love yourself.
Once you do, you'll begin to see life differently.
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The first time I discovered the act of using calmness to counter a woman's madness was in my Junior Secondary school days.
It was after junior WAEC and we were on holidays so I went to my aunt's place to spend the holiday there.
A cousin of mine who I was few months older than
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Men, please marry a woman who respects you and is loyal to you, not a woman you love.
Always choose a woman that respects and is loyal to you over a woman you love when it comes to marriage.
It'll be very hard but in the future, you'd be glad you did.
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So this girl has a boyfriend who she's totally obsessed with.
Even though the guy treats her like garbage, she's still obsessed over him and just can't seem to do without him.
So I asked her if she doesn't have other toasters or wannabe boyfriends in her life and she told me
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95% of the problems in a relationship are caused by a lack of communication and understanding.
If you can communicate with each other properly, you would have fewer problems.
Here's how to effectively communicate with each other in a relationship.
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Dear queen,
A man is different from you in more ways than you can imagine.
One big difference between you and a man is in the way you use the word "Nothing".
When a man is facing issues and you ask him and he says "nothing", ask him one more time and if he still says "nothing"
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You grew up in a healthy family.
You watched your mum respect your dad and watched your dad love, provided nd protected both your mom and the family as a whole.
Till date, in their old age, they are still together blissfully enjoying each other's companies.
Why then, do you
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the loyalty and respect would come naturally.
This is a simple theory for partners who value each other and really want things to work out.
Happy new week
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Dear lady,
Attention is not interest.
And if u're not careful you'd get intoxicated by the attention you're getting and waste away ur prime years.
That's why it's important to know how to identify a man who has genuine interest in you and build with him.
How do you do this?
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Here's the truth...
You are insecure and seek validation from these guys.
You don't love yourself enough to admit you are good enough.
You crave the attention of other men and this would get you used.
Most women who fall into this category are women in their prime.
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woman for peace to reign would drain you very fast.
14) The life you were living before meeting her is one of the reasons why she feel for you. Don't abandon it.
15) A woman that genuinely desires you would love and be happy to please you.
16) A woman sets strict boundaries
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wrong but because he has a lot going through his mind.
Yes, you might sincerely want him to share with you. Afterall, why are you partners?
But the truth is that very few men would constantly share their problems with you because he's already use to facing the world alone
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You're single, hoping, praying and expecting a man.
Go out... No
When you eventually go out and they stop you you'll ignore.
Before the closing prayers in church you're already at home.
You ignore all the Dms from people you don't know.
The only thing you do is press your
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would always find you more desirable if other women find you desirable.
10) A woman in love is an insecure and jealous woman
11) A woman would always test your limits to see how much she can get away with.
12) When a woman misbehaves, punish her.
13) Always agreeing to a
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When I was younger, I was once obsessed with one girl. Anabel.
Very fair fine calabar small girl. The only thing she lacked was height but she had everything else.
She was in my head, morning, afternoon and night. I later got to date her but I ended things myself and there's a
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stomach. It's his ego.
5) You can get anything from a man by massaging his ego. Nagging and complaining does the opposite.
6) A man is never busy for the woman he truly loves.
7) A man cannot be stingy to a woman he truly loves. It's either he doesn't have or you're not worth
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Avoid dating people that would never speak when they're hurt.
They'll just keep bottling the emotions till the day they erupt.
And then they'd tell you what happened 6 months ago, the exact place and time it happened.q
Avoid these people at all cost.
They can kill you.
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himself.
This, my dear reader is what a lot of young Nigerian guys pass through in search for wealth.
People say "Don't be greedy" and "wait for God's time"
But the same people broke-shame you(especially women) when you are broke.
Even if you have an understanding mum and
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We hear fear women up and down.
But the truth is that there are some set of men that are more dangerous than women.
The ones that would date a really young girl of below 23, a girl who's big on relationships and sees a future with the guy.
And of course, since the guy is older
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I remember when I had just started dating my woman.
At one point business was bad for me and she needed money for something.
I couldn't give it to her immediately.
3 days later I was able to give her the money and after she thanked me the next question she asked me shocked me.
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He's meant to be the shoulder you cry on. Not the other way round.
That's why a high-value man would rarely talk about his problems with his woman.
This is not me defending men. I'm just explaining male psychology to you and the more you understand it, the more you realize why
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for a man she doesn't genuinely desires.
17) If she doesn't respect you, no matter how beautiful she is, walk away.
18) There's a difference between a woman for fun and a keeper. Know the difference and act accordingly.
19) Your ability to walk away from disrespect makes you
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want to hustle for money. Those who do so eventually get tired. Those who do it all their life becomes masculine. They want to be pampered and taken care of.
29) How a woman treats her dad will determine how she'll treat you.
30) Avoid feminists. They are bitter women
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12 Facts About Lovemaking every man should know
1) Foreplay is as important as s3x. Learn to enjoy it.
2) During foreplay listen her breathing pattern as you kiss and caress her body. When it increases, keep doing what you're doing.
3) To be a good lover, focus on giving her
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time till he meets a virtuous woman.
You need to choose what type of woman you want to be especially if you are in your prime right now.
I'm talking to you the under-25s.
Do you want to be that woman whom every man has access to just because they can give you money?
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hustle to live up to expectation.
Being human, he falls in love and since he is in love he would definitely want to please his partner in the little way he can.
He is living his life trying to provide for his loved ones in the little way he can.
The worst of all is that he
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31) Read my book for men "5 Deadly Mistakes Men Make With Women".
It's free.
Send a DM to get yours.
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You meet someone amazing.
It seems as if you were meant for each other.
You both fall in love with each other and can't get enough of each other.
You're certain that the love you have for one another would conquer everything.
Then you start dating and after a while issues
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I'm sure you've heard this statement from
@jon_d_doe
before...
"Women are loyal to their feelings and not your sacrifices"
Is this really the truth?
Are there not loyal women?
Well let's find out by diving deep into the female nature
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No one is perfect but here are some key attributes you should look for in a partner in order to increase your chances of building a sustainable relationship:
For women, here's what you should look for in a man:
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@jon_d_doe
This is the reason why people who married in the '90s '80s and above tend to last longer in marriages.
Women then had lower hypergamy because they did not have e liberty of dating different men.
Marriage was seen as a sacred institution and the phrase "for better, for worse"
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One mindset you should have in a relationship is the mindset of adding something valuable to your partner's life.
It could be teaching them a new skill or helping them overcome a bad character or bringing them closer to God if you're a religious person.
Encouraging them and
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marriage.
The point of the story is a fact I keep pointing to in a relationship.
Most people in a relationship are looking for what they'll gain not what they'll give.
If you are having strains in your relationship and marriage, I think you should focus on yourself and what
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You won't know exactly what you're missing till you date a woman who truly loves you.
E go be like dream for your eyes
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There's a reason why a woman would love you when you have nothing.
It's because she sees potential and character in you. She believes in you.
It's left for you to prove her right
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"Any woman that can't be with me when I am broke is not loyal but a leach"
"When I make money, I would act broke and meet women. Any woman that accepts is the one"
Hello bro, wake up from your slumber.
Quick question. Would you advise your lil sis to date or marry a broke man?
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You can't be a virtuous woman if you are broke and not self-sufficient.
That's why you need to learn how to make money and take care of yourself without the help of any man.
And from next week, I'll be tweeting more about how to make and manage money as a woman.
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There are lots of things most of you need to learn about making money and more importantly, managing money.
This would help you become self-sufficient and less dependent.
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happily take care of you and your unborn kids, if she's domesticated, then that's enough items she's bringing to the table.
24) When a woman falls out of love with you, you'll know.
25) The best way to get the best kind of relationship is by going for women with a high level
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sees guys younger and less-intelligent than him balling.
He goes on SM and sees young guys living the flashy life-style.
He keeps asking himself and God when his story would change.
Then to top it all, the love of his life lives him because he isn't meeting her expectation.
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Or do you want to be the kind of woman who is self-sufficient, goal-oriented, and knows that her body is her pride?
Do you want to be that woman who everyone knows is for the streets or do you want to be that woman who people can say "she is different"?
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you can change about yourself.
Stop trying so hard to change your partner. It would only lead to more strain and resistance.
Focus on making yourself a better person and focus on making them feel loved again and most times, they would follow suit.
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respected.
20) In your relationship with her she's looking up to you not down at you. Lead her right.
21) She'll make you angry. She's a woman.
22) There's no woman on earth without drama. As long as she loves you, she'll perform once in a while.
23) If she's willing to
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When it comes to marriage, you're not getting married to your partner alone.
You're getting married to their family too and if the family is not in support of the union, for your peace of mind, let them be.
That's why it's important that your family know whoever it is you're
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As a young single man, there's one very critical factor you need in order to date a woman properly.
And no, it's not money.
It's the ability to lead a woman properly.
You see women need a leader. She needs someone to look up to.
And providing for her alone won't make her see
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Dear young lady,
I know things are difficult.
I know the pressure to take care of yourself and your family is much in you.
I know you've made up your mind to earn legitimately without selling your body.
But now you're have doubts.
You see girls, not as hardworking as you are
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it.
8) A man is a hunter. Let him chase you even after you're already together.
9) It's okay to want to be taken care of by a man as long as you've earned it.
10) Your submission is expensive. Submit to the right man.
11) A man is meant to be a provider. Let him provide.
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A woman doesn't fall in love with you. She falls in love with how you make her feel.
Know this and know peace.
Good morning
P.S: I have a book for men titled "5 Deadly Mistakes Men Make With Women"
It's free.
Retweet and send me a DM to get a copy.
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men do what they do. And how to handle men.
So in a situation where your man comes back looking sad and doesn't want to talk to you, all you have to do is ask him once.
If he says "I'm fine". Don't pressurize him more because he sincerely doesn't want to speak about it yet..
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As a young single woman you'll make mistakes if you let the attention you're getting from men get into your head.
Men naturally are hunters and you're the prey, especially if you're in your prime.
They make you feel as if you're all they want or need
They'll hail you when you
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If you know how difficult marriage is, you'd take your time in choosing a life partner.
You need to understand that no matter how good or "near perfect" a person is there will be days when they'll make you so angry that you would wonder if it's the same person you fell in love
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"My man is doesn't respect and value me that's why I am entertaining other guys."
"I'm just keeping my options open. Nobody knows tomorrow".
This mentality is the reason why 90% of relationships today is transactional.
And do you know who's more at a disadvantage in this?
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