tım
@timpresario
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christine baranski enthusiast | he/him
london
Joined December 2011
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When you're from Yorkshire and you see the ruler of the Ottoman Empire
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I’m bored….if you were visited by 3 ghost for Christmas who would you want them to be? Lol
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Me: hey mum, just letting you know that me and my boyfriend of four years have broken up
Mum:
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I abso love this and will be using with all homosexuals in my life going forwards
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Boy's parents sent us a very cute 'son & boyfriend' christmas card, but they spelt their own child's name wrong in the card ☠️
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Laura here describing a literal fascist coup in the US in gentler terms than she described someone pushing an advisor in the 2019 election
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"not pretty but deeply fabulous" is going on my tombstone
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19th June 2020: I was ordering crop tops online just to feel something
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Guys my dad just made an overt and direct reference to my sexuality!!! With the whole family!!! This is a huge deal I'm so HAPPY AHHHH!!!!
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Why does this feel like the lyrics to a spoken-word interlude in a Muna song 😭
What makes men uncomfortable?
Being naked in a men's changing room: 49%
Crying in front of male friends: 48%
Saying "I love you" to a male relative: 45%
Going to a gay bar: 44%
Putting sunscreen on a male friend's back: 42%
Sharing a bed with a male friend: 42%
Wearing pink: 31%
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I already posted this on insta but whatever I think this is such a beaut pic of moi 😌
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Continually baffled by top culture, this is what happens when you ask their favourite animal
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Pulled a sickie yesterday and people at work keep looking at me like 'are you sure you're feeling better?' and 'you look awful, you should have stayed home today too' 💀
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Cringe tweet but it's 6 months today since I moved to London and my mental health has never been this good and depression is in the bin! Woo
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Dad just rang to say that he mentioned me having a bf to my aunt who told him in no uncertain terms that it was obvious since I was the only male member of the entire extended family "who seems to give a damn about his appearance". HOWLING.
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Heart VERY full, Judy Garland Memorial Trophy winners 2023!! The single best day of football of my life meant I got a clean sweep of the trophies 😭 Baffled by how it happened but this gang and everyone involved with the day are so great and I love them all very much ❤️⚽🏆
#JGMT
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Not going to wade into today's oxbridge discourse other than to say that we should abolish private schools ☺️
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WHY AREN'T THE MILLENIALS BUYING THESE EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE ASSETS TOO BUSY TAKING SELFIES WITH HILLARY CLINTON I BET
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Just received an EXCEEDINGLY grovelling email admitting that it was completely their fuck up - too little too late! I am v much looking forward to writing the nuclear email I'm going to send to them
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Let it never be said that my cunty little finger splint stopped me from being a gorgeous girlie xx
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Oh my god we've just arrived in Manchester and our hotel is... literally opposite the festival
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trust me, I'm as dissatisfied as you with my ascent from fun gay student twitter to mundane office twitter
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The best day festival in London is the Guy's Hospital monkeypox queue 🏥 🙊
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The final boss when you ask to see Beyonce's manager at sainsburys
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Remembering to take down the christmas decorations has conveniently collided with my birthday preparations
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We protested some homophobes today ft. loads of queer anger but I thought we were doing serious faces
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My little brother recently got a phone and now I get this every morning I LOVE HIM
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Cannot believe a random man just shouted 'omg it's Indiana Jones' at me for this outfit!!
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It's taken 23 cumulative hours since leaving home but I FINALLY have a glass of fucking rioja in my hand 🇪🇸
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Made sausage rolls but forgot to cut them up before putting them in the oven, so I guess it's sausage wellington tonight
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The fact that this was immediately delivered to me at secret santa 💀
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I thought there was a train announcement but it was just a loud heterosexual
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I don't trust people who ask their family to get them Aussiebums for Christmas
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The one good thing about the rain is that it's much easier to clock gays by how they leap over puddles on the pavement
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nothing says 'looking back on a rubbish summer' like repacking every single condom you brought home from uni
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"John Major is yesterday's man" says Jacob Rees-Mogg, time traveller from the year 1847
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Took this photo when I got in last night abso steaming and I really like it?? I look like a wise owl
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National Treasure status: ENHANCED
Olivia Colman condemns ‘violence and hostility’ against trans women in open letter
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Diane's new years resolution is still about 200x300 pixels I see
In his New Year speech Rishi Sunak urges us to “sacrifice and hard work” What exactly does millionaire Rishi and his billionaire wife know about sacrifice?
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Ok actually this is good??
June is
#PrideMonth
and around the world we celebrate the equality and visibility of
#LGBT
+ people. Today, we are flying the rainbow flag to affirm our pride in the UK’s diversity and our values of equality, inclusion and freedom.
#Pride2021
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Expressed my admiration for a footballer to my dad with the phrase 'I really like Cox'.. never have I more wanted to be run over by a truck
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Just remembered how Little Boots beat out Florence + the Machine, Lady Gaga, La Roux and Empire of the Sun in winning BBC Sound of 2009!
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Going to a bday this eve where the theme is 'tube stations' - can u guess which one I am??
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Ian McKellen was at Bethnal Green WMC last night (icon) and he wished me a happy pride and said he liked my shorts 🥺
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me: *arrives in hell*
me: *changes bio to "🇬🇧 new here, looking for new friends and people to show me around" *
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