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@thickeyforrest
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*lil peep dies from a drug overdose*
social media: well if he didn't want to die he shouldn't of done drugs
*demi lovato ends up in hospital for herion overdose*
social media: MENTAL HEALTH is so important. People need to understand why people do these types of things
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for the record I do NOT believe people should shame demi, I just find it hyproritical that some people will support one artist but shame the other for the same addictive behaviours completely based on which artist they enjoy
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girls be 5 foot tall saying their man need to be at least 6 foot 2 lmao ok mike wazowski shouldn't you be worrying about your scareo'meter
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halifax has the highest rates of human trafficking in all of canada but I'm really glad they used their entire police force to take a few tents down
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cashier: your total is $87.43
me: debit please
cashier: ok whenever you're ready
me: ok thank you
girl who went to stfx: I went to stfx
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"Wtf meat is so bad for you!!"
*shotguns 4 blackflies*
*does molly*
*only breathes through cigarettes*
*does coke off a toilet seat*
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also demi did not OD on heroine it was confirmed to be an opioid
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In case you were wondering how stupid halifax is. on the day with the most recorded cases anti-maskers are having a "freedom" protest on citadel hill
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I recently made a tweet about people from cape breton doing cocaine. I am deeply sorry for stereotyping such a large group of people and hurting feelings. Upon further research I discovered that nobody from cape breton can afford cocaine so they just drink hand sanitizer instead
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Canada
- 19 to drink
- free healthcare
- weeds gunna be legal
- maple syrup
USA
- uhhhhhhhh
- guns?
- obese
- smells like turds
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I remember one time I was talking to this girl from halifax while I was in cape breton and she was like "so what time is it where you are :)" I miss her so much
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everytime I ask an x student to let me try their x ring on i fucking run away as fast as I can. they can never catch me because they are usually drunk. my collection is growing. I have over 20 rings
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how are halifax instagram influencers even a thing? what are you going to influence me to do? leave halifax?
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weed smokers be like weed isnt addictive I just need to smoke all day every single day or I will panic in the face of reality
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worst girls ranked:
5. "russ is actually good" girls
4. harry potter girls
3. blogger girls
2. horse girls
1. horrorscope girls
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Time zones are cool af
-
Australia is in 2021
Canada is in 2020
Cape Breton is in 2006
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bitches from cape breton smoke and drink during the whole pregnancy and wonder why they baby crying lmao they want a canadian classic and a patio keith's momma hook it up
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how to make a successful nova scotia business:
1. make a shitty name and logo (must include 902 or east coast)
2. drop ship items from sweatshops
3. claim everything is locally made
4. ask underage girls to model your products
5. sell your items for 850% the material cost
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STEM major: hi
Arts student: hello
Guy who owns over the hedge on DVD: hey you guys wanna watch over the hedge?
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Just stole some girls x ring so i just wanted to say how proud of myself i am. stfx is more than a party school, it's a family. i couldn't of done this without the love and support I had from the stfx family. its more than a ring, it's a part of me forever now
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Stop naming your kids names like Asia and India when they act like Dartmouth and Sackville
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Here is a great video to watch if you are one of the few who believe drug addiction is not chemically predispositioned:
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a student athlete, a horse girl, a russ fan, a vaper, a person who went to coachella, a horrorscope idiot, a draft beer drinker, a pitbull owner, a crossfitter, a girl that just got a tattoo and a guy who just bought a new truck all walk into a bar. Fuck what a shitty bar
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1 year on hrt today :)
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why are they holding up their covid tickets like a soundcloud rapper holding up money in a shitty music video
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its so wierd seeing nova scotia fishermen so greedy and racist. this is definetly not like them
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nobody:
engineering student: did you just say homework? cause you won't believe the amount of homework I had this week. I haven't slept in 4 days. I wish I could be in one of those easy degrees like you. You must be so lucky getting to sleep lol I haven't slept in 4 days
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Canada just voted to destroy the PEI bridge & ferry and lock everyone at cavendish on the island forever. The estimated survival time for everyone on the island is approximately 9 days
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when a person from PEI and a person from cape breton have sex they morph into mr potato head smoking a cigarette
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if I set up a cage match for jada nahas and emma beazley to scrap it out would y'all go watch? if jada wins they both get the covid vaccine. if emma wins they both get a ps5
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people in halifax embarrased to wear a mask in public but walk around in dalhousie sweatpants lol
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cape breton could be under 10 feet of water and twitter will be like damn I hope halifax ok 🙏
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imagine getting jumped by a buncha robots and one of them says:
01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100111 01100111 01100001 00100000 01010101 01010011 01000010 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010
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stfx students when you tell them their little university isn't special and is just like every other university
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an actual conversation I had at subway while high as shit:
me: can I have some south-east sauce too
subway worker: ... you mean south-west?
me: oh haha yeah ... I must of went the wrong way
subway worker: *says nothing*
me (internally): get me the fuck out of here
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I'm in a bad place right now. not mentally I'm just living in cape breton
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I'm not allowed to bring my girlfriend to the movies because you cant bring snacks into the theater 😜
just kidding she got banned for fist fighting an employee
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when you ask someone from nova scotia to do a line of blow on a toilet seat vs. when you ask them to get the covid vaccine
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goodbye cape breton, or as I call it, peasantville. I am moving to a city called halifax. In case you haven't heard of it, it's the BIG city where all the cool, rich people live. If you associate with me while you are located in that smelly wasteland i will laugh and block you
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if you say "sackville" 3 times into a mirror at 3:00am a random dude will knock on your window and ask for a cigarette
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jack be nimble
jack be quick
jack got pegged by an alternative chick
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my girl just told me she's on her menstral cycle and told me it's ok if I don't come over lol I don't care what kinda bike you own baby I just wanna love u
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photographers in nova scotia be like what do you mean you just wanted a photoshoot I thought we were going to have sex
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"Bill Gates was a drop out"
yeah I'm sure when he dropped out of Harvard he started smoking cigarettes in his lowered honda civic too
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>live on the east coast
>have no money
>move out west to work
>make absolute bank
>come back
>buy a lifted truck
>spend the rest on drugs
>live on the east coast
>have no money
>repeat
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Me: hey
Girl on twitter: I want post malone to fuck me while he sings I fall apart when i am wine drunk on a tuesday in target with puppies surrounding us while eating a pizza covered in mcnuggets and a kardashian narrarates the whole thing as she records it for vine
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HE HAD AN X RING LMAOOO
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how much do u think PEI is worth like if I wanted to buy the whole island
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the x ring isn't the 3rd most recognized ring in the world but its definitely the 1st most recognized ring at the liquor store
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maybe if we made the vaccine a pyramid scheme people from the maritimes would take it
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Sarah are you stupid? If you flip a fucking cardboard box at your bird brain of course waters gunna fall out. Did you ever use a milk carton before? A smaller box perhaps? Maybe something other than a fucking cardboard box. I've met used doormats smarter than you
I tried it....those “drink box water bottles” err paper box water things just don’t work 🤷🏼♀️
#trudeaulogic
#fail
#cdnpoli
#tryharder
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this you?
Our police service does not condone the actions of the Minneapolis Police officers involved in the tragic & unacceptable death of George Floyd.
#BlackLivesMatter
. Our officers are well trained professionals who we hold to high standards for serving the citizens of our community.
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welcome to cape breton. If u look to your right you'll see 76 million trees. If you look to your left you'll see an anti abortion sign. Questions?
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CAPE BRETON has cigarettes
CAPE BRETON smells like tarpons
CAPE BRETON has the capri
CAPE BRETON has poppers
CAPE BRETON has stolen lobsters
CAPE BRETON has Frankie MacDonald
CAPE BRETON has coke filled toilet seats
CAPE BRETON has beer guts
CAPE BRETON has vape stores
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why are there people against being an organ donor? imagine being dead and being like nah I'm not sharing Id rather bury it in the ground so nobody can use this
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if a vegan, a pitbull owner, a horrorscope girl and a gym dick all get in the same elevator together, which one announces what they are first?
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business students, lowered civic drivers, redditors, guys who wear crooks and castles and anybody named trevor
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cape breton island:
PROS
1. looks nice when it's not winter
2. capri/dukes/sandbar
3. Frankie MacDonald
4. not being in america
CONS
1. winter
2. surrounded by stinky water
3. capri/dukes/sandbar
4. six jobs on the whole island
5. a lot of people vape
6. cigarettes
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dal students: the suicide rate for university students is rapidly increasing and university stress is directly correlated. you guys spent millions of dollars on a hallway but cant put that money into any mental health system that works
dal: look a mini horsey boi
Have you heard the a-neigh-zing news? 🐴 Heidi the miniature horse will be visiting campus this Friday, Apr. 12 between 12 and 2pm in front of the Killam Library. She's ready to show our students some love during exam time!
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in 2018 dalhousie made me write a letter explaining the negative effects of marijuana and pay a student fine because I got caught smoking weed in residence. a year later they started offering a class called cannabis production
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Canada:
- legal weed
- free healthcare
- sick winter hats
- hockey
- nice to everybody
USA:
- guns
- ???
- fat
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StFX:
- parties (uh, no thanks)
- thots
- underage drinking
- cigarettes (gross)
- people yelling and puking
CBU:
- scabies
I think we have a clear winner here
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girls: roasting eachother is a part of being in love
me: you look like a frog
girls: ??? okay that's a low blow you fucking asshole. i don't go around saying how small your dick is and how your mom dosent love you do i? fucking piece of shit you know I'm insecure about that
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they cut out the part where I said the halifax police would rather arrest mannequins than protesters lol
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ah yes, the two worst possible locations in all of nova scotia. thank u bagged ice
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parents: there is no way I am piercing my child's ear. That is abuse. If they want them pierced they can do it when they are old enough! I am sick of other parents abusing their children with unnecessary pain.
also parents: let's cut the tip off this penis for no reason
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