Theo Vandenhoff
@theovandenhoff
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dark & romantic post-punk from toronto
Toronto, Ontario
Joined November 2023
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Pinned Tweet
Flying out today - see you soon 🖤
Posting the updated tour schedule here in case anyone hasn’t seen the London show change!
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I accidentally broke crywank Jay’s ribs so we’re even on the car door thing now
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“music for goths to stim to” is perfect - someone gets it
This was my first time hearing these guys, very excited for the new EP. Music for goths to stim to, 10/10 no notes.
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Imagine taking a seemingly polite Canadian on tour with you and they break your rib in honourable combat, I’m truly sorry Jay
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Just finished my very last set of my first ever tour and I feel way more emotional than I thought I would be. No matter where my life goes I will always remember this one and I’ll always be endlessly grateful to
@CrywankBand
for giving me the opportunity to experience this.
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what a rush, I feel alive
Public apology to
@theovandenhoff
for slamming my car door on his hand. (I’m just glad he’s the vocalist and not a guitarist 😬😬😬)
Please help me make it up to theo by listening to his music today 😅 link to Spotify here ❤️
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a Crywank fan going on my partners Instagram to send me health advice is very very funny to me still
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I had a pre show nap like this yesterday and nobody will believe how comfortable I was
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I just gotta say that I love my partner. There was no such thing as unconditional love before them and no other person who could bring me to tears from just a pure admiration for who they are. Love is real. True love doesn’t hurt or compromise or stifle you.
I love Andie ❤️
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despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage
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I can tell this tour is going well because somebody has already uploaded partially incorrect lyrics to “Temper” on Genius
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Vinyl pre-orders are now up on my Bandcamp! Now you can order a copy of “In The Throes Of Love” from anywhere in the world! ❤️🔥⛓️
See just how ecstatic I am about it?
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If you chatted to me after a set, gave me a gift, bought me a drink, asked for a picture, asked for a signature, sang along to the songs, danced, awkwardly avoided eye contact with me at the merch desk. Thank you, I love you and it means the world 🖤
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Our dear friend and trusted drummer Sava has decided it’s best for him to leave the band, we love him lots and are excited to see him succeed in other things ❤️
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I’m fairly certain it’s midnight in the UK and our new EP is out NOW so if you’re up have a listen :)
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FIGURATIVELY if we were to hop back across the pond this year where would you want to see us play in the UK? Europe even?
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Proud of our drummer Sava for learning some of the Crywank tunes on very short notice yesterday to fill in for Dan. I’ve been lucky enough to witness Sava’s talent from the time he started drumming when we first became friends (10 years ago we were both about 14 years old).
Tomorrow in Milton Keynes will be solo, but with help from guard petal and Theo Vandenhoffs band, likely the same for Guildford. If I’m not as social as usual I hope you understand. Dan wants to be there but can’t and we send him all the love in the world. We are still gonna…
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long sleepy hungover drive to Belfast today - sold out show tonight ❌
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nobody on the bus knows I’m on my way to have the cysts in my ass surgically removed
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23 more shows on this UK/IE supporting Crywank. I can hardly wait to get going - days off are making me antsy. Milton Keynes is next then a straight run of shows with just a few days off until the end. So grateful for this opportunity. I love performing.
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booking shows in Europe/UK for the fall, touring as a 5-piece this time. Hopefully a new release before then. Should be fun.
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first of all, shut up. secondly, shut up. third of all, I’ll use this as an excuse to post this anyway.
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watch the full video for “Temper” here
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Don’t wanna jinx it but I might be signing the lease today to live in a big beautiful house in Toronto with my partner Andie and two of my best friends (one of those being our guitarist Callum) very very excited pray for me folks ❤️
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I’m sorry but if you’re a white person without any direct ties to Palestine you don’t get to complain about how upsetting it is to see news about the genocide that’s happening. Think about how privileged you are that you could ignore this and it would never affect you.
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I only follow 43 people on X and because of the London gig my algorithm is mostly Lovejoy inside jokes that I do not understand in the slightest
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“In The Throes Of Love” vinyl pre-orders for the USA & Canada are live through
@SonicBoomMusic
❤️🔥
For international orders I’ll be making some copies available through Bandcamp tomorrow! Stay tuned for that.
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glad I can finally say the music video for “In The Throes Of Love” is coming out next week
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Vinyl preorders dropping soon… I’ll have some available for shipping internationally on my Bandcamp 🖤
North American pre-orders will be available through Bandcamp and Sonic Boom Music - both Canada’s largest independent record store and the place I sell my labour for a wage
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being a Canadian musician is fucked when you realize it’s cheaper to travel halfway around the world and tour in the UK and Europe than it is to drive 2 hours south and play in the USA - america sucks man
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Long shot but does anyone in the UK/Europe write for a music publication and want to premiere a music video we have coming out in January? It’s hard as a DIY/unsigned artist to get the attention of publications without spending a bunch of money on press.
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Vandenhoff is my Oma’s maiden name. I was named after Dutch architect Theo Van Doesberg. I switched my real last name because I thought Vandenhoff sounded much more dramatic. I’ve really got a proper Dutch peasant name.
I wanna know!!
How did your band, or you as an artist, pick out your name?
Mine is a
@puptheband
reference to one of my favorite tracks they ever released!
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3 more days until I get to sleep in my own bed again lets go
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These are stills from the a music video for “In The Throes Of Love” we’re hoping to release soon. We’re looking for a post-punk/goth oriented site to premiere it. PR companies are a grift. Anyone have any leads or interest in covering this?
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returning to my day job, arguing with old men [holiday edition]
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Hey guys I love my partner so much and we live in the same house together and their name is Andie and I love them and I give them a kiss on the head each morning and night
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It’s strange how the very personal songs you write act as time capsules for emotions you couldn’t fully process or perceive objectively at the time. Then in retrospect new meanings can crawl out of lines that were only subconscious in the moment of writing them. I like that.
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It’s a good thing I wasn’t one of the 3 wise men because whenever I see a baby I get intrusive thoughts as to how far I could throw it
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sorry for the delay on shipping this weeks Bandcamp orders I been relentlessly ill and bedridden but I’m back baby! shipping out tomorrow!
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getting a few of the babies set up at my new place today
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When people tell me “I love your work” I usually think “oh!? you’ve seen me do the worm in the publicly funded youth exercise advert I did for TVO Kids when i was 10 years old?” and then I remember my career went downhill from there and I became an indie musician
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Incredibly happy for this EP to be out we worked really hard on it and we’re very proud of it you should listen to it 🖤
Spotify:
Apple:
Bandcamp:
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In the all encompassing horrors of the modern age we must celebrate our milestones. While our “real” anniversary isn’t for another couple months today marks a year since Andie and I first had drunk sex after a work outing. It’s quite romantic really.
Happy bone-aversary babe 😘
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unpacking the record collection in our new place today
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Our new EP is out tonight! I’ll be shipping out all pre-orders tomorrow 🖤
Vinyl pre-orders are now up on my Bandcamp! Now you can order a copy of “In The Throes Of Love” from anywhere in the world! ❤️🔥⛓️
See just how ecstatic I am about it?
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Our EP release show at The Baby G is coming up - get your tickets at:
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today a customer walked into the glass door at my work so hard they busted their nose open
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The good thing about being sick is I got so much time to hyperfixate on my Minecraft creative mode world and it’s gonna be fucking wild (by my standards) maybe I’ll share it when I’m done
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Showed Andie a song we’re working on and they said “it’s so good it sounds like it should be on the Twilight soundtrack” which is not the feedback I was looking for
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“You gotta lotta sac to sing like a vampire” is my favourite response that anyone has ever had to hearing my music. I like the speaking on the behalf of these two guys he “mingled” with once as well. Bryan Ferry wouldn’t have said it better himself.
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Mittens fucking blow man. There’s nothing more dehumanizing than a lack of finger autonomy. Mittens were invented to indoctrinate our children into complacency.
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Have you listened to our new EP yet?
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Had a great time at gig last night but some of the drunk older men at these sorts of shows are the worst. Backhanded compliments followed by horrible advice in a condescending tone then when you’re a dick back to them they tell you to “smile more because it’s bad for your image”.
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i have to thank matthew grey goblin for giving us lanky autistic boys with hooded eyes some sex appeal
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when I was about 10 years old I wrote a song that went something like “werewolves will eat my flesh, vampires will suck my blood, doodeedadoodeedoodoo”
Still gives me shivers, what a dark and twisted mind.
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My best cheap dating advice would be don’t try to convince yourself you like a band you don’t for someone because it will make you cringe for the rest of your life
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taking off from Iceland was very beautiful I felt inspired
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I was serving at last years Halloween show tbh
We did an impromptu Sisters Of Mercy cover so most of these photos are probably of me panicking whilst trying to remember the lyrics to “Nine While Nine”
pics taken by Elijah Shark
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I can see people getting tired of this (fairly boring) wave of post-punk dominating alt music but you have to be so incredibly out of touch to dunk on someone for writing about the cost of living crisis- I guess they don’t teach class consciousness at 30k a year private schools
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Also if anyone does DIY zines, blogging or anything of the sort hit me up if you want to review our new EP!
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my coworkers phone got run over by a streetcar on christmas eve
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Got about 10 minutes of live footage back from our last Toronto show opening for
@tempersmusic
taken by Sam from Kali Horse - Sava looks a real stud in this one channelling a drum machine in human form 🖤
Will the rest of this see the light of day? We’ll see.
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sniffing my armpits at work and then nodding after so people know I don’t smell bad
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covering Shivers by The Boys Next Door at our EP release show last night - a really lovely night, thanks to all who attended ❤️🔥
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one thing you learn from working at a record store is that 90% of people own the same record collection
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CD’s are for car music and sex music, Vinyl is for nerd music and virgin music
If you don’t collect either you’re a far better person than those that do
engagement bait tweet: which is better, CDs or vinyl records? and please explain why, someone i know wants to start a collection
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I’ve noticed transphobes are really hanging on by a thread lately because the only argument they make now is about sports and it’s always coming from people who have never cared about women’s sports before
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If you’re selling used records to a store for the love of god quickly check them yourself first! As a used buyer people frequently bring in boxes that are filled with mold, food wrappers, rusty nails, cobwebs, bugs, etc. It’s insanely inconsiderate and a waste of everyone’s time.
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Got a great deal on a Casio CZ-101 today you’ll be hearing this on future recordings for sure. Brilliant little PD synth with lots of character.
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Out of all the times people have compared my dancing to other artists I have only heard someone get it right once. There are 2 musicians I would accept as direct influences. They are NOT Ian Curtis (too arhythmic) or Mick Jagger (don’t care about the Stones at all).
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Remember when this guy got fined £18,000 for kicking a Nazi in the stands and said it was “the best moment of his career”, what a legend.
🎙️ Eric Cantona: “Defending Palestinian human rights does not mean you are pro-Hamas. Saying “Free Palestine” does not mean that we are anti-Semitic or that we want the disappearance of all Jews.
“Free Palestine” means freeing Palestinians from the Israeli occupation that has
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All the more reason to hate on The Runaways! Shit band!
Misgender this! A few years before this pic I was so into Bowie I wanted to BE HIM. Dressed like him, swung like him. I was CONFUSED about my ‘gender’. It was a PHASE. Today, it would be male hormones, cut off my breasts, destroy my life. Love them enough to WAIT. Please. 🙏❤️
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I’ll always add a fuckass saxophone solo if I can get away with it
you know the 80s song gonna be good when it has the fuckass saxophone solo in it
cannot be beaten
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if I had the time and people would actually watch I would 100% stream geoguessr
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The YouTube algorithm buries this vid (even when your search for it by name) because it features 4 scantily clad men in a heart shaped bathtub. You can still post sexualized click bait on videos for children with 60 million views though right? That’s ok.
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2 big cops today, “A Bell Is A Cup” rounds out my Wire collection
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