Lady Mei Mei
@theladymeimei
Followers
4K
Following
8K
Media
64
Statuses
2K
Brooklyn-based ambassador. Lover of boba, karaoke, blue-fin tuna sushi, and k-drama. Single. Tingle. Mingle. Shingle. Pringles.
Brooklyn, NY
Joined January 2020
Who the hell sleeps with BOTH a fan and an air conditioner on?! Dang polar bears.
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I’m probably younger than most of you. What is some life advice you could give me that you can guide me through your wisdom?.
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I wish pets lived longer, life wasn’t so expensive, leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn’t suck.
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Don’t judge someone different just because they sin differently than you. ❤️
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I am a small person who has the appetite of an army of pandas.
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I could never be a politician because everytime we had a debate, I would start off with “listen here fucker”.
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Hi all, I'm new to Twitter. Please take it easy on me. 😌 Just here to post random thoughts, make friends, feign manufactured outrage. All sorts of good stuff.
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I hate sushi. There, I said it. I also suck at math ::turns in my Asian card::.
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Random Guy Hitting on Me: Hey baby what’s your sign?. Me: “Do not enter.”.
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Pork and shrimp cheung fun, bitches! You better recognize!
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If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal. It’s science.
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Photo of me and my boyfriend. Sorry, he doesn’t smile.
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I have a boyfriend. Oh, wait no. No, that's a fridge. I have a fridge.
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I wouldn’t have trust issues if people didn’t have lying issues.
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Pro tip: If you cook kale in coconut oil, it makes it easier to scrape it into the trash.
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If cauliflower can become pizza, you, my friend, can become anything.
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When a guy calls you hot, he’s looking at your body. When a guy calls you pretty, he’s looking at your face. When a guy calls you beautiful, he’s looking at your heart. All three still want to fuck you though.
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Shoutout to all the single women that complain about being single but never go out. Just waiting for Mr. Right to break into your house.
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Dang, some white boi who seemed friendly at first got aggressive with asking me to be his gf, when I said not interested, he showed his true colors and started calling me china virus girl. This is why I don't trust nice guys, you never know.
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Don’t mess with me; I’m a scorpio. When life hands me lemons I make a chocolate cake and leave haters wondering how I did that shit. Abracadabra, bitches.
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I need to social distance myself from the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.
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You never realize how messed up someone treated you until you explain it to someone else.
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I can’t stand dudes that ask me a million questions but doesn’t give out one bit of info about themselves. That’s not a conversation, that’s an interrogation.
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Forget a sugar daddy, I need an academic daddy. Write my essays for me, yo.
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I wish I could get a refund for all the love I’ve wasted on people.
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Riddle of the day: What kind of music concert cost 45 cents?. Answer: 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
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In dire times of the pandemic, what the world needs is more 爱.
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Be careful when you follow masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
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The streets have been so empty, but I just didn’t want to feel trapped any longer. I hear there’ll be several more months of this coronavirus. Sigh. I miss dining out. Stay safe everyone, may the hand sanitizer gods bless you.
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So. My aunt and I were silently having dinner in our living room when the neighbors above us started having intense sex. She slowly stood up, came back with an iPad, turned the Chinese video to full volume and asked me how was school.
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Interested in hanging out with me if you’re ever in Brooklyn after the coronavirus crisis is over? Please DM me if you’re serious and we’ll make plans. ❤️ No serial killers please.
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I’m just a girl standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
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There should be a calorie refund for things that didn’t taste as good as you expected.
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Fall in love with someone who makes you laugh or you’re going to be really bored when you’re 80 years old with a broken hip and sex is impossible.
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Before coronavirus, I'd cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.
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The top three hardest things to say are:. 1. I was wrong. 2. I need help. 3. Worchestershire sauce.
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Trying to hurt me by bringing up my past is like trying to rob my old house that I don’t live in anymore. That’s not my stuff.
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I need to go on medication so I can slap stupid people and blame it on the side effects.
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Guys, would you be offended if a woman pays for your dinner and expects sex in return? I’m kidding. Just making a point.
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Why must I enjoy ramen alone? Need more foodie friends in NYC. Holla at me. Especially if you like Asian food.
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Why are guys so afraid of being friends first? Serious question.
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Just had the rudest delivery guy. I noticed he was missing my sauce and plastic fork and he shrugged “that’s life”. So I tipped him 5% and he got mad. I said “that’s life.”.
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If you want to date Chinese girls be prepared to eat exotic stuff. This is my favorite plate Stir Fried Pork Liver with Onions. Yummm! ❤️ . #brooklynfoodie #nycfoodie #brooklynchinesefood #brooklynasianfoods #brooklynrestaurants.#sleeplessinbrooklyn
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I wish people came with a 30-second trailer so I can see what I’m getting myself into.
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I saw pizza with kiwi topping today. This is what happens when we let pineapples on pizza slide. Just remember society, YOU made this happen. Shame shame.
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Donating all my masks to the local New York hospitals. Don’t horde them! Give them to the people who need it the most! . #coronavirus #nyccoronavirus #newyorkquarantine
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I do not spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly, like a fucking lady.
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I don’t write children’s books because the last page would always say “Now shut up and sleep.”.
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Dating is weird. This guy keeps asking for pictures of my armpits.
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Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.
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Support your friends’ businesses by paying full price. Freeloaders.
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Some dudes be like “I always wanted an Asian girlfriend” then know nothing about Asian culture. So why do you want women from a culture you know nothing about? Very sus.
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Don’t recycle your exes. It’s bad for the environment.
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Have you or anyone you know ever received a Lexus for Christmas. Those unrealistic Lexus commericals, man.
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Whatever happens, please don’t buy all the toilet paper again.
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If you want to impress me with your car, it had better be a food truck.
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If watermelon exists, why don't earthmelon, firemelon and airmelon? Hmm?.
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Don’t talk to me about loyalty, I’m still here holding secrets for people who are throwing dirt on my name.
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Sex. Now that I have your attention: Do you absolutely require having sex right after a shower or will any moment (within reason) do?.
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No one wants to hear about your diet. So eat your lettuce and be sad.
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When a guy is really into you, he doesn’t care if you snore while you’re sleeping. He’ll be, like, “snore for me you sexy diesel-powered generator.” ❤️.
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Eat ice cream at one of my favorite places in Brooklyn, @oddfellowsNYC If you’re ever visiting tell ‘em Mei sends them her love. ❤️
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Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I have an amazing soul. Another might tell you I’m a cold-hearted bitch. Believe them both. I don’t treat people badly. I just treat them accordingly.
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Coronavirus started out as a virus but it mutated into an IQ test.
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Today’s hard truth: If you eat tacos without onions and cilantro, you’re a childish fake ass taco eating imposter.
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Dear guys who flaunt cash money on their profile pics: You look like douchebags. Seriously, I actually counted the bills from your profile picture. It’s around $400. You just advertised yourself as having $400 and thinking you’re loaded.
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To the thief who took my anti-depressants. I hope you’re happy.
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Would you ever stay in a relationship with someone who “settled” for you?.
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Couples don’t break up anymore. One person just acts like an asshole until the other person can’t take it anymore.
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Heaven have mercy to the first person I’ll hug when this quarantine is over because I have been in desperate need of one for six freaking months!.
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I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
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How many of us have saved someone’s reputation by not telling our side of the story?.
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