THE HUMUNGUS
@theHUEMANGOOSE
Followers
1,189
Following
369
Media
853
Statuses
6,302
HUMORIST º ASPIRING CASCADIAN WARLORD º 6'4" º UNVACCINATED º PUNISH THOSE WHO DO NOT SPARK JOY º
WENDIGO COUNTRY
Joined September 2023
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Pinned Tweet
I WILL ASS FUCK THE VIRGIN MARY
— AND MAKE HER CALL ME DADDY —
ON THE THRONE OF THE CHRISTIAN GOD IN HEAVEN
IN FRONT OF EVERY CHILD THAT HAS EVER BEEN KILLED IN A SCHOOL SHOOTING
IF YOU GIVE ME CAFFEINATED ZYN
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IF YOU EVER FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF
ALWAYS REMEEMEBR THAT THERES SOME GUY OUT THERE WHO BOUGHT A WIFI CONNECTED GRILL THAT DECIDED TO DO AN OVER-THE-AIR FIRMWARE UPDATE
*ON THANKSGIVING*
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@Grummz
OH THERE WAS A LEAD WRITER FOR BL3?
I THOUGHT THEY JUST ALL PISSED INTO A BUCKET AND CALLED IT A SCRIPT
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LYING ABOUT WHAT YOU DID IN THE MILITARY OR LYING ABOUT BEING IN THE MILITARY
ARE LITERALLY
THE EASIEST LIES TO DEBUNK THAT EXIST
LIE ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE ANYTHING ELSE IM BEGGING YOU
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MUNGUS IS 62 FOLLOWERS AWAY FROM 1000
I WANT TO BUY GUNS WITH TWITTER MONEY
FOR FUCKS SAKE RETWEET ME
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STARTED TWEETING AGAIN A WEEK AGO
TODAY THE HUMUNGUS HAS 502 FOLLOWERS
I PROMISE TO USE THIS POWER FOR BULLSHIT
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HUMUNGUS INTERPRETS THIS ICONIC TWEET IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT LIGHT THAN MOST
I HAVE A CORDLESS DRILL AND A WINNER’S ATTITUDE
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KYLE RITTENHOUSE HAS HAD FOUR YEARS TO STOP LOOKING LIKE HE GETS RAILED EVERY NIGHT BY A MAGICAL CUPCAKE WITH A HUGE COCK AND HAVE HIS COLON FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH HOT SUGARY FROSTING
TIME TO STOP PUTTING HIM ON A PEDESTAL
“Muh TrAINinG”
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YOURE BETTER OFF WATCHING THE JOHN WICK MOVIES TO LEARN HOW TO GUNFIGHT THAN A FUCKING LUCAS VIDEO
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IF HELLDIVERS 2 INTRODUCES AN LGBTQ “CAPE” OR ARMOR ACCESSORIES I WILL FRIENDLY FIRE THE SHIT OUT OF ANYONE WEARING THEM
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I SAY A LOT OF INSANE SHIT HERE AND I WANT TO CLARIFY SOMETHING FOR THE RECORD:
I AM MENTALLY ILL
I MAY OR MAY NOT HEAR VOICES
I TALK AND SCREAM AT MYSELF IN THE CAR OR WHEN IM ALONE
MAKE OF THATBWGAT YOU WILL
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Our 4yo was anally penetrated "3-4x in 48hrs" at the CDC on base. On CCTV. No protocol followed, everyone cya. Do I burn it down? via /r/army
#army
#miltwitter
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6 years ago, Childish Gambino released 'This is America'
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@BudLightSadness
*leaves bathroom window unlocked*
HAHA JOKES ON YOU HOME INVADER
I WANTED TO REMODEL THAT BATHROOM ANYWAY
*THUMP*
2 BIRDS 1 GRENADE
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WE DROPPED THE SUN ON JAPAN TWICE AND PUT A MAN ON THE MOON
WE CAN PUT ICE IN WHATEEVR THE FUCK WE WANT
🇺🇸
Why are Americans so obsess with ice in their beverages?
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Some of those pallets fell on top of people.
Are those the first recorded kills for our beloved First Strike energy bar?
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MOLLIE TIBBETS HAD AN EAR OF CORN SHOVED UP HER ASS UNTIL HER INTESTINES BURST
SHE WAS THEN RAPED
AFTER THE RAPE HER OVARIES WERE REMOVED
HER VAGINAL WALLS WERE PUNCTURED AND LACERATED OVER 100 TIMES
AT HER FUNERAL HER FATHER SAID THIS:
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@RobProvince
BUTT FUCKED INTO ASTRAL DUST IS A GREAT PIECE OF WRITING AND IM NOT SURE IVE EVER TOPPED IT
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IF HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO GET CAPTURED BY VEGANS
HES NOT WORTH RESCUING
Guys.
He's being held captive.
This is his cry for help.
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BEING A POLICE OFFICER IS A THANKLESS JOB
I DO NOT MINDLESSLY BACK THE BLUE
BUT I WANT WHATEVER LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY WE HAVE TO BE GOOD AT THEIR JOBS, BE SAFE, AND ACCOUNTABLE
I WANT GOOD COPS FROM HERE TO THE HORIZON
AND BAD COPS SHOWN THE DOOR GO PARK CARS THANKS
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THE “LEFT” BELIEVED IN FREE SPEECH FOR A LONG TIME BECUASE TBEY THOUGHT IT HAD A LIBERAL BIAS
THEN THEY STARTED LOSING ARGUMENTS ONLINE TO RANDOM ANONS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION
NOW THEY FUCKING HATE FREE SPEECH
FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS
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YOU READY TO WATCH THE NATIONAL GUARD GET THEIR ASSES KICKED ON THE NYC SUBWAY???
Hochul bans ‘long guns’ for National Guard troops deployed to NYC subway checkpoints
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MY BOY WAS OUT RAPING HOOR PIGEON SLUTS AND RIPPING AND TEARING INTO RATS LIKE A FUCKING ASTARTES
REST IN POWER FLACO 👊🏻
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GOING THROUGH THE OLD MEME FOLDER THIS MORNING AND AUGUST THROUGH NOVEMBER 2020 WAS WHEN HUMUNGUS HAD A PREMIUM SUBSCRIPTION TO FACEAPP AND DID A LOT OF DEMPSEY
@BudLightSadness
EDITS
NEVER POSTED THEM ALL EITHER
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THERE IS NEVER A BAD TIME TO POINT OUT THAT ALL THE MEDIA YOU LOVE TO CONSUME IS LARGELY MADE BY PEOPLE WHO HATE YOU AND WANT YOU AND ALL OF YOUR DESCENDANTS (CHILDREN GRANDCHILDREN GREAT GRANDCHILDREN) HERDED INTO DEATH CAMPS TO BE RAPED AND TORTURED TO DEATH
@theHUEMANGOOSE
IDGAF
It's one of the only good shows that's come out in years
Dude played Thadd Castle on Blue Mtn St....he's not cast for his intellectual takes lol
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BRUH I DIDNT REALIZE IT WAS YOU SO SORRY
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𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙁𝘼𝙏
𝙄𝙁 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘿𝙊𝙉𝙏 𝙇𝙊𝙎𝙀 𝙒𝙀𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏
𝙄 𝙒𝙄𝙇𝙇 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙆☐𝙇𝙇 𝙔𝙊𝙐
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ANY MAN WHO SERVES HIS COUNTRY
AND THEN GOES TURBO LIBTARD ON THE SECOND AMENDMENT
NEEDS TO BE FORCE-FED ESTROGEN UNTIL HE GROWS UNSEEMLY MAN BOOBIES
I'm a gun owner, veteran, lifelong hunter, and dad.
I know basic gun safety isn’t a threat to the Second Amendment. It’s about keeping guns out of the wrong hands for the safety of our kids.
With our new red flag law, that’s exactly what we’re doing in Minnesota.
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IN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
DANIEL PENNY IS ON THIS TRAIN AND CHOKES OUT THE LEAD SINGER OF GREEN DAY CAUSING ACCIDENTAL DEATH
THE JUDGE RULES THIS IS AN ACT OF SELF DEFENSE AND HE IS GIVEN A PARADE AND THE KEY TO THE CITY
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THE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET BEHIND MANY POPULAR TWITTER ACCOUNTS IS THAT THE MAN RUNNING IT SOUNDS LIKE A WEE BITCH
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> BOOT UP FARMING SIMULATOR SOUTH AFRICA EDITION
> ITS JUST COMMAND & CONQUER
> 👀
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LOTTA FAT FUCKS WEARING COOL T SHIRTS AND EXPENSIVE GUNS
THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR WAISTLINE MAGGOT
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americans are like damn this guy is bothering me i should shoot him in the chest
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HERES A THOUGHT:
HOT PEPPER FAGS ARE PROBABLY 100% HETEROSEXUAL
WHY? BECAUSE WHO WOULD WANT TO PUMP AN ASS WITH A BACKGROUND SCOVILLE RATING OF 50,000+? 👀
IF SOME DUDES POOPSHOOT HAS BEEN EXPOSED TO CAROLINA REAPER THATS LIKE PENIS CHERNOBYL 😨
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SHE'S REACHED
THE FINAL BOSS
OF THIS WEEKEND'S GANGBANG
👀
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MOTHERFUCKER JUST REINVENTED CLOAKS
…
I WANT ONE
Someone talk me out of this concept.
Wool poncho, hooded, designed to fit over your armor and gear. Limited thermal camo. Water resistant. Warm. Even just for farm work I think this would be amazing.
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I'm personally a huge fan of my P365XL.
I want to get the P365 Macro.
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IM A COMBAT VETERINARIAN
I DONT NEED A WEAPON TO DEFEND MYSELF
ILL DUCT TAPE A BRICK OF C4 TO YOUR DOG AND TURN YOUR COZY SUBURB INTO HELL
HIGH EXPLOSVES GLUED TAPED AND STAPLED TO ANIMALS MAKE YOUR AR15 IRRELEVEANT
I AM _WELL TRAINED_ NOT RELIANT ON EQUIPMENT
I’m a combat veteran.
I don’t need a weapon to defend myself.
You can have one, and I’ll take it from you. You can fight me in an “even match,” and I’ll prove that it was a mistake.
I am WELL-TRAINED, not reliant on equipment.
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@ASo1omons
@BudLightSadness
VERY FEW PEOPLE DO AND CAN “BUILD A FOLLOWING ON TWITTER” BY BEING A BERY SERIOUS GUY WHOS SERIOUS ABOUT SERIESU ISSUES ALL THE TIME
YOU DO IT BY BEING RETARDED
A LOT
LIKE CONSTANTLY
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WOMEN DRIVERS
NO SURVIVORS
Buddy we made jokes about the fucking Challenger blowing up on the fucking day our 5th grade teacher wheeled in the TV and we all watch it live.
We’re built different.
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I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING
I THOUGHT THR JEANS WERE ON LUCAS
AM I HAVING A STROKE
I SMELL TOAST
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GOD DAMMJT HOW DO I GO VIRAL FOR FUCKS SAKE
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THE HUMUNGUS IS A VOICE INSIDE SOME QUIET DUDE’S HEAD
HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT I AM IN HERE
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UNDER IMPERATOR HUMUNGUS
YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS ARE SAFE
COMMUNISTS, SUBVERSIVES, JOURNALISTS, PEDOPHILES?
THEIR RIGHTS ARE FUCKED
Which presidential candidate will secure the border AND will not violate my constitutional rights?
It is not an OR question. I want both.
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BBEN BACK SINCE BEGINNIING OF JANUARY STARTED NEW ACCT FORGOT PASSWoRD TO OLD ONE!
I’m disappointed that he hasn’t come back. We need him more than ever.
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@BudLightSadness
𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙉 𝙀𝙇𝙇𝙀𝙉 𝘿𝙄𝙀𝘿 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙎𝙏 𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙔𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂
𝙐𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙇 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝘿𝙊𝙂 𝘼𝙍𝙍𝙄𝙑𝙀 𝙊𝙉 𝙈𝙔 𝘿𝙊𝙊𝙍𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙋
𝘼 𝙁𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙇 𝙂𝙄𝙁𝙏 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙈𝙔 𝙒𝙄𝙁𝙀
...
𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙎𝙊𝙉 𝙏𝙊𝙊𝙆 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙈𝙀
𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙇𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙈𝙀
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SCOUNDRELS
FIENDS
WARLORDS (in potentia)
VAX DENIERS
GUN ENJOYERS
BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKERS
KEYBOARD WARRIORS
DISSIDENTS
CITIZENS
ANON DETRACTORS COPE AND SEETHE
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NO ONE WANTS TO FIGHT AND DIE FOR YOU
Russia said once they take Ukraine, Poland and the Baltics are next. This is about preventing war. We don’t want our men and women to have to go and fight.
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THE DIFFERENCE IS THIS
RAINBOW GAY: LOW INTENSITY UGLY MEN BUTT SEX
PUNISHER GAY: HIGH INTENSITY BODYBUILDER BUTT SEX
HOPE THAT HELPS
Please explain the difference to me like imma child…
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OH LOOK A FOOD PROCESSING FACILITY THAT
WONT
BE BURNING DOWN IN A MYSTERIOUS ACCIDENT
FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS
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librul: “we’re gonna air strike you!”
[aztec death whistle 110% VOLUME]
librul: 😨
a random tree chanting in proto-Germanic:
“the entrance to your subdivision has been greased with vegetable oil and your cell service is jammed — AVE DOMINUS NOX”
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SAY WHAT TYPE OF FRIEND YOU ARE WITH A GIF
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SIG SAUER"S SEVERED HEAD
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DEATH PENALTY
Woman who is accused of killing a 3-year-old boy in a grocery store parking lot in Cleveland smirks in court.
32-year-old Bionca Ellis was seen stalking 3-year-old Julian Wood and his mother before killing the boy with a knife.
When the arraignment hearing began, Ellis refused
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@wayofftheres
me to GOVT: “You paid someone to commit a terrorist attack!”
GOVT: “Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?”
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HUMUNGUS HAS FAIRLY DECENT "SHITHEAD" RADAR
THAT BILLY RAGLAND GUY IS ONE
BAD VIBES DETECTED – AVOIDED
THE OTHER GUY FROM A FEW YEARS AGO, SAPPER SPY? SAME DEAL
TURNS OUT HE GRIFTED A BUNCH OF MONEY OFF PEOPLE
(HIM AND HIS WIFE HAD CHILD PRED VIBES TOO)
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SHAUN OF THE DEAD REBOOT
EXCEPT THERES NO ZOMBIES
JUST GANGS OF MACHETE-WIELDING PAKISTANIS
AND THE CHARACTERS THINK ITS A ZOMBIE OUTBREAK
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FORGET WHO SAID IT BUT:
IN A KNIFE FIGHT
ONE GUY GOES TO THE HOSPITAL
ONE GUY GOES TO THE MORGUE
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REWARD FRIENDS
PUNISH ENEMIES
I WILL GIVE U FREE STUFF:
I WILL PAY OFF YOHR HOUSE, BUY YOU COCAINE, AND LET YOU PIRCHASE SUPPRESSORS OUT OF VENDING MACHINE NO PAPERWORK!
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OKAY I THINK I KNOW HOW EVERYONE ELSE FEELS LIKE WHEN THEY SPEAK TO ME NOW
DEMP JUST BLACK MIRRORED THE FUCK OUTTA ME AND IT WORKED
GOD DAMN IT
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NEVER WATCHED REACHER
MAIN ACTOR IS LIBTARD FA&&OT?
UNSURPRISED
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FYI:
IF YOU USE THE BACKUP CAMERA ON YOUR CAR OR TRUCK IN LIEU OF MIRRORS YOU ARE HUGE PUSSY
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RITTENHOUSE IS TRENDING AGAIN SO INGOTTA BRING THIS ONE BACK
KYLE RITTENHOUSE HAS HAD FOUR YEARS TO STOP LOOKING LIKE HE GETS RAILED EVERY NIGHT BY A MAGICAL CUPCAKE WITH A HUGE COCK AND HAVE HIS COLON FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH HOT SUGARY FROSTING
TIME TO STOP PUTTING HIM ON A PEDESTAL
“Muh TrAINinG”
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NUKE THE VATICAN
Pope Francis, in the first-ever interview of a pope with an American TV network, speaks candidly with
@NorahODonnell
about many topics, including the migrant crisis in the U.S.: “The migrant has to be received.”
Watch their historic conversation Sunday on
@60Minutes
.
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@Snakeeater36
ONCE A MEME BREAKS FREE OF A SMALL CIRCLE OF COOL PEOPLE IT IS NO LONGER COOL AND IS IN FACT:
VERY GAY
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“Make your own 40K”
IS FAKE AND GAY
LOSER TALK
GAMES WORKSHOP MUST BE MADE TO
*KNEEL*
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LITERALLY JUST MAKE AN ALIEN MOVIE WHERE A SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE HAVE TO FIGHT AN ALIEN AND THEY ALL MAKE INTELLIGENT NON RARTED DECISIONS
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HUMUNGUS PRESIDENTIAL PLATFORM (just spit ballin here):
– DEPORT ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS (ALL OF THEM)
– SECURE BORDER (razorwire, landmines)
– THAT ONE NAVY SHIP NAMED AFTER A PEDOPHILE IS RE-CONSECRATED AND CHRISTENED
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@BudLightSadness
SIBLEY (crying wojak): SPENDS YEARS WRITING BOOK GETS NOTHING BUT SHIT FOR IT
DEMP (Gigachad): FIRES OFF SHITPOST IN STYLE OF SIBLEYS BOOK, OUTSELLS HIM EASILY, GIVES IT ALL TOO CHARITY
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FUCK
ITS DENNIS :(
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I think the only thing left is for
@MaximumMungus
to make his return.
Believe he said Jan of 2024?
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