I didn't know about mascara, I thought girls just cried ink like squids.

i can't believe this shit actually works

Putting trained an intern on my resume because i totally just aced this copilot prompt

when the job market is so bad that you're going to follow your dreams instead

I should stop

overheard an undergrad saying that doing a PhD is like “going to unc college” 💔

https://t.co/A2HBupstaI

I called it

And now we wait

AI got nothing on me

I keep my inner child alive by still living on my dad’s money as an adult

A beautiful woman keeps calling and saying, “This is an attempt to collect a debt.” I hear you. A debt of love

I knew my last workplace was bad because the most fun we had there was asking the colourblind guy what colour cartoon characters were and basking in our superiority as he looked at our faces to check if he was right

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the car with the TV remote that's there for some damn reason.

Health influencer videos are starting to be like: which one is better for you, a slap in the face or drinking green tea

Why do you as a man care that the new ios update doesn’t look pretty? Go out on the street and threaten bystanders like real men used to

It’s called a lemonade because you get bombarded by the flavour of lemon

New employee DM’d me on Slack. He asked if he’s expected to work weekends. I said, “What do you think our founder would do?” He said he gets it, and that he’ll be online on weekends. Good that he took it that way. Our founder has been in Ibiza for two weeks now. Someone’s

Do you want a criminal lawyer or do you want a criminal lawyer?

Next time you need a new password ask a nerd what laptop to buy and they will say some shit like asus rogx-6987ftv4m

The lion doesn’t concern himself with not accruing credit card debt