Cake Boss🍑🍑💪🏻💪🏻
@thatguygetsit01
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Sure, stubbing your toe hurts like hell, but have you ever smacked your shin into one of these pieces of shit?
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Has there been a classier team to visit our shores than this Pakistan cricket team?
What a bunch of legends.
#AUSvPAK
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Guys, for some reason I’ve started feeding a family of Magpies that visit my front lawn every day and I just chopped up a cooked snag and fed it to them and they’re all over it like a rash who the hell am I?!?!??
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And now over to ‘Absolute Dead Shit Takes from a Pedo Loving Rape Apologist Boomer.’
Over to you Ron…..
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You know what I haven’t done? Represented my country in any way on an international stage.
I will however admit I did think for a second Chris Lilley was back with a new character.
Was it a good routine? No.
But you know what?
Fuck the haters Raygun. 🤘
#OlympicGames
#Raygun
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Look at the amazing people all enjoying each others company, embracing joy and just loving life! This is awesome
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Watching a work colleague who has been with the business for 20 years give a farewell redundancy speech where he bakes the entire business for being a pack of cunts was not what I had on my bingo card today but there you go.
Me the entire time:
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Hey Melb peeps,
You’re about to get smashed by thunder and lightning very soon.
It’s like night time here in Ballarat. Batten down the hatches!
Cheers.
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Me: It'd be nice if Ballarat along with it's surrounding areas just stayed out of the news for a bit. Let another area have the spotlight as it were.
Bushfires: GET FUCKED
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Finding burnt leaves around the house in Ballarat, from a bushfire 40 odd kms away, is not a normal day to day thing I have to say….
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I am 48, lived in Victoria the entire time, have grown up with countless lollies that have come and gone in that time and I can hand on heart say I have never heard of a ‘cobber’ before in my life.
Is this just a South Australian Fantale? They have weird names for everything.
Bloody tough one, this….🤔
I’m going Cobbers - just!
You?
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Holy shit what the fuck have I done?
I’ve just ordered a pie floater for breakfast cos I’ve heard it’s a true delicacy & that’s what all people in Adelaide do apparently….
Will report back once it arrives
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Why yes, I’m having scones with jam and cream for dessert. What are you plebs having?
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@GrogsGamut
@DancingDanB
I can honestly say I’ve never seen a media team work so hard to improve the image of an Australian sportsman in my life. From the constant TV interviews with his wife to newspaper and magazine articles and now this all to soften his damaged image. Absolute crap.
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We have a very serious problem with men directing anger towards women in this country and the sporting codes who make millions of dollars off the backs of fans everywhere are happy to look past each & every problematic man on theirs books.
This is an abject disgrace.
#AFL
Tarryn Thomas will return to football as an AFL-listed player in 2025 – assuming he is able to prove to the league he has satisfactorily completed a behavioural change program.
@RalphyHeraldSun
has the details.
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My daughter has two lunchboxes.
She interchanges them when she feels like it.
Recently she’s used the one lunchbox and I asked her why.
‘Oh I just like this one Dad.’
Fair enough.
Today I find the other lunchbox under her bed….
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It's the person pulling the trigger
It's the person pulling the trigger
It's the person pulling the trigger
It's the person pulling the trigger
It's the person pulling the trigger
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30th High School reunion in Moonee Ponds. Look ok? Does it scream 48 on Monday? Cant wait to leave this reunion and hit the pub.
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It’s not every day you see a very stupid tribal council but tonight’s was easily the dumbest I’ve seen in years. Just next level.
#SurvivorAU
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One of my kids used the peanut butter knife in the Vegemite s now there’s peanut butter in my Vegemite and (as a white Australian man) I’ve never been so culturally offended! 🤣
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Well…..
The fam are on their way to Melbourne to see Taylor and the sheer excitement was something else to see.
🫡
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Imagine just wanting to go for a run, one of the most wonderfully healthy, positive & infinitely innocent things you can do for yourself & a man comes along & decides ‘I think I’ll kill you….’
What, The, Fuck?
Is no woman safe?
The answer is ‘No…..they’re not.’
#Ballarat
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What is the saddest death of a fictional character?
What is the saddest death of a fictional character?
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Disgraceful ableist language.
Fat shaming women.
Slut shaming women.
So please tell me followers why you’d follow this person?
All it does is spew vitriol & anger & it clearly has an issue with women
Absolutely fucking disgusting account
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Kids are in Melbourne for three nights.
Wife on her Girls Weekend for three nights.
Me: Set.🫡
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If your sole purpose on Twitter is to cry poor, be a Debbie Downer, complain about your life and then ask people for money, even those living poverty, and you’re eventually found out to have been lying the entire time….then I’m afraid we absolutely cannot be friends.
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AND WE’RE FUCKING GOING TO TAYLOR SWIFT BITCHES!!!!!
Well not me, my wife and the kids but you get the idea…🤣🫡🤘 Dad Job done
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@adamzwar
@AshleyLeahy
In 2006 I went up to Derby in the North of WA. Middle of nowhere stuff. Sitting in the pub singing kareoke with friends and in walks Cathy Freeman.
I have never been more star struck in my life.
What a legend
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Is it normal to burst into tears when you think about how Type 1 diabetes has changed your daughter's life forever.
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A few years ago someone said to me ‘Don’t get an Oodie, they look utterly stupid and are just a fad.’
So I bought one anyway and they said ‘You look ridiculous .’
Needless to say I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life & that person no longer exists within it.
Cheers
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Strong Boomer energy in this photo.
I'm sure the Customer Service guy on a shit wage, who drives a 2006 Daihatsu Terios gives all the fucks you need in these tense situations.....
GO HOME BOOMERS!!
#OptusOutage
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Man who has been known to creep into women's DMs and when called out blames his mental health & shuts down his account thinks he's the perfect voice to tell men to be better and women what to do.....
You've got to be fucking kidding me with this lunatic.
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Congratulations St Kilda and Gold Coast with your entry into this years ‘MOST BORING FUCKING GAME OF FOOTBALL EVER!’ for 2024.
#AFLSaintsSuns
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Name me a more vicious bastard of an inanimate object than this and what it’ll do to your shin
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Tomorrow will be one year since my daughters Type 1 diagnosis & you might think we’re going to be all upset about it but instead we are celebrating her ‘DIAVERSARY!’ (Diabetes Anniversary).
Dont worry I will absolutely shed tears tomorrow too
Love her so much 😭
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Imagine following a football team and a player of that team enters the same pub as you and you don’t recognise them. Imagine having to have them pointed out to you. A player who’s played 250 games, won a flag and got chaired off the night before.
Imagine being that guy…
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Remembering that time I sent my wife footage of the sexiest thing I’ve literally ever done.
I don’t do ‘hotter’ than this 🫡🤣
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How to be a heartless prick 101.
A person has died, a train driver traumatised whilst doing his job, but don't worry it's all about you worrying about other being able to go to the toilet Nathan....
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Wife’s shopping list is super confusing. She wants 111 brown onions?!?! She must cos she wants 3 x 500g serves of mince🤷♂️
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1 call every 2 minutes to Police re: Domestic Violence towards a woman in Australia.
Over the course of the year that adds up to 264,028 calls a year....
My god Men need to do better.
If you or anyone you know if going through this call 1800RESPECT avail. 24/7
#DomesticAbuse
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@1an_Higgins
Are you ok Ian? You seem genuinely triggered by people being happy whilst all of it having no bearing on your day to day whatsoever.
Normal stuff….
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You know what's cool?
When you let women on here know someone is a massive red flag and they believe you without any question.
Means a lot🫡🙏
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Session down. Already feel lighter. No tears shed.
Very glad I’ve done this.
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What a fucken day….
Anyway here’s my dog Rex to lighten the mood
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If I were Pat Cummins and hadn’t won anything I’d absolutely never show my face again but cos that was never going to happen GET THE FUCK AROUND THIS LEGEND!!!
#INDvAUS
#INDvsAUSfinal
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My god I love this band and this song. Garbage are the most underrated rock band on this planet. Shirley Manson is a force and an icon.
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If you’ve been following I have applied for a job elsewhere
Let’s see what happens
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Took a mental health day today.
Genuinely in need of a change of job.
Gotta find something I can take some joy from…
Very hard when you’ve never known what it is you wanted to do…..
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@theprojecttv
Here’s a crazy thought; enjoy your wedding day with the person you love and respect without assaulting them.
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According to my therapist I’ve not only passed the ADHD test with flying colours (I have it) but I’m a double whammy in that I horribly failed my mental health assessment and am severe on all fronts….
Fuck….me…..
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My brother loved the first dog so much he had it cloned
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@Mooglet1
Haha I know that sign!! That’s on Rottnest and no one reads it. There were five in the cafe when we went there with the kids.
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Me and 10yr old daughter watching ‘Farmer Wants a Wife’:
Potential wife: ‘I just don’t know if Farmer Tom wants me like I want him?’
My Daughter: ‘Why the fk is a potential bride calling her potential husband ‘Farmer Tom?’ Why isn’t she just calling him Tom.’
Me: 🤣
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The great thing about not having any milk in the fridge first thing in the morning is that I now have to go up the street and buy myself a McDonalds brekkie and no one else will ever know.
THEY’RE ALL ASLEEP!!!
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@7NewsSydney
So instead of meaningful positive action on Medicare, it’s levy and what can be placed on it when it comes to medicine and care Labor give us (checks notes)….a commemorative redesign……🤦🏼🤦🏼
#embarrassing
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Account locked.
Racists everywhere.
I hate this place sometimes.
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I’ve been married now for just on 14 years. My wife has given me the two most beautiful kids I could’ve ever dreamed of, unyielding support, kindness & unconditional love.
So anyone who comes for my wife should expect molten lava like rage and anger from me.
Would not recommend
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Making the perfect guacamole tonight! Follow me for more recipes.
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Watching a 14yr Aussie girl skateboard for an Olympic Gold and here I am 48, eating my second serve of apple pie with thickened cream on the couch wondering where my fecking life went so wrong….
#OlympicGames
#Skateboarding
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@WestCoastEagles
Imagine getting sacked, then taken to a meeting to see off your co-workers and then as your boss is thanking you for your contributions he asks you to come in on the weekend to work...........
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Molly the Magpie has been returned to her owners and right now that's just the kind of news I needed to hear.
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Today would have been Dad's 84th birthday.
Fair to say there's rarely a day that goes by without me thinking about him.
From day dreaming about memories to the most outrageously super vivid dreams...
He never feels far away, which is weird.
Miss him
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It’s DATE NIGHT tonight, the kids are sleeping somewhere else (I dunno where don’t ask me) and we all know what happens on DATE NIGHT if Dad plays his cards right…..😉😉😉
Yep you guessed it, in bed and out like a light by 9!! 🫡😎
WOOHOO BRING ON THE UNBROKEN SLEEP!!!
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It’s Dexcom changeover day and it is always an extremely hard day for her. Being the bad guy is never easy either but the pure misery she falls into is heartbreaking. I hate this for her.
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@ronInBendigo
Something to think about
Consent is not a grey zone.
Anyone who has heard their ‘mate’ describe similar encounters, who have made the jokes about getting her drunk enough, who have seen friends go too far and not stepped in - enough. On the balance of probabilities, you know a rapist too
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