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@tgmaroney
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Idk what's worse, the fact that I actually went to this school, or that MY OWN SISTER is holding a trump sign...
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Okay but do you commit to stop harassing people? Do you commit to stop having sex with underage students? Do you even know what you’re sorry for??? Every single person that needs an apology from you can’t even see it because you’ve blocked them.
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This guy I work with just said my stutter was cute so fave this if you want to come to the wedding
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What do they be saying
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Honestly I’m just happy that my par*mount friends can get their cars fixed now
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I just watched Carmel High School do a run through 5ft in front of me and I am the most shook
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I was told multiple times “Black Gold has never had a fat boy spin saber and I can’t believe you’re the exception” from both Chance and Trevor
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Me the beginning of saber block: I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me
Me 3 minutes into saber block: oh my fucking god she’s fucking dead
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I've been dreaming of being a Cadet for the past 5 years and now I actually get to be one I am screaming
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Today is my ex girlfriends birthday which means tomorrow makes 6 years since I came out of the closet. Sorry :/
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One of my kids brought me a Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit and I'm really about to give her a solo
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My dad just found out I fill in my eyebrows and is currently crying in the bathroom :)
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My most FAVORITE Holiday family tradition is this little game called LETS ALL SHOUT AT THE SAME TIME it truly is a great time!! 😍❤🎄
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Hello this is a public service announcement for all of my fans and/or followers. The very good and very popular tv show, vicTORIous, is back on Netflix and ready for your viewing pleasure. I expect a lot of retweets and likes on this tweet please do not disappoint me.
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About to get this girl a can of chef boyardee for Secret Santa because it's all I have and I don't know her
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Yesterday I learned that a leg cramp is called a “Charlie horse” and not a “trolley horse” so you can all just go ahead and block me
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Hi is it possible to march drum corps without paying a single dime? Asking for a friend.
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Okay I just remembered this one time I was hooking up with this guy in Austin and right before I came he told me to "baja blast" and well you'll never believe what I did next
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The owner of this brewery I'm at let's his dogs run around inside and now I'm drunk and playing with dogs and crying this is a good day
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This morning my roommate pissed me off and I imagined her getting hit by a car. Tonight when she went running a car literally backed into her. She’s totally fine but bitch I’m PSYCHIC fuck wit me
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I just found my boyfriends secret stash of multicolored plaid cargo shorts what do I do
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In less than 24 hours I will be on my way to my first Cadets camp and I'm slightly (extremely) panicking right now.
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I literally just walked right into 2 girls fist fighting in the target parking lot bc I was too busy looking at Pete Wentz's nudes
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This uber driver peer pressured me into playing music on his aux so now I just keep skipping songs because I don’t know what kind of music he likes and I don’t want him to think my music is weird someone get me out of here
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I’ll never forget in 2015 on tour I captioned a selfie with FOB lyrics and my dad tried to force Scouts to fly me home because he thought I wanted to kill myself. Based off of the lyrics. He was very right but now you all know where I get my dramatic side from.
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Y’all Caleb just surprised me with a switch and lets go eevee as an early birthday present this boy about to get this NECK
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I told my nana I had a headache so she drove all the way from North Raleigh to bring me a dozen of Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuits
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My mother lost my senior pictures so she framed one of my selfies to hang over her new mantle
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Finding great comfort in knowing all the f*gs that bullied me for being fat on tour are now also fat. Yes I know I’m still fat but I’m slightly less fat than they are. Y’all shoulda been nicer to me
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Mother went to a Christmas party last night and is currently projectile vomiting all over the house Merry Chrysler!
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I’m sorry but if you think giving teachers a gun will solve anything you are dumb. Do you know how many of my teachers would’ve shot me? A lot because I was a demon child.
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I don't understand why I have to have a physical form why can't I solely exist in theory
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I reported someone who put a video of them throwing away a pair of crocs on their Instagram and said it was harassment/bullying and their account got banned
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I have 4 DAYS to write 3 DIDDYS for the spin clinic while also working full time AND trying to watch greys this is honestly so RUDE
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In less than 48 hours I will be double fisting a Bojangles 4 piece supreme dinner for the first time since July and I’m crying
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Okay no offense but if one more person starts a live video I'm calling the authorities!!
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The guy I met at the airport 2 weeks ago and have been talking to everyday since and basically falling in love with just referred to his foreskin as “natures shot glass” and I never want to interact with another male human ever again.
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Ummmm I just got home and my washer and dryer are MISSING????? Like literally not in my apartment anymore
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Yes Chance Livar is a racist, but his most evil acts lie within the dozens of underage CHILDREN, yes I said CHILDREN he has seduced and had actual relationships with. He is a predator and he deserves to be in prison.
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I just wrote an entire winterguard show in about 3 hours someone hire me
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I just taught my 2 year old nephew how to fist bump and now he’s running around the house making everyone fist bump him
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It's been 10 days since I've had cookout or any other fast food and I'm down 5 lbs is this a sign
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I just went to the vans website to apply for a job but instead I bought 2 pairs of shoes oh well
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You'd think that being in college, these girls would know that "small" is not a shoe size. Yet, half of them put that on their order form.☺️
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I left my DS charger in Dallas last weekend and I’m about 95% sure I’m about to drive three hours there just to play Pokémon
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Literally laughing out loud at me being on the dance line this winter lmfao what's happening
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I’m down another 10 pounds so I’m rewarding myself with milk duds and wine
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Sitting at Applebee’s 3 shots of tequila deep and fearless just started playing
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I did such a good job kissing Caleb’s parents asses for the past 6 months they bought us vip tickets to dragcon and paid for us to stay in nyc for an entire week I really am so talented you fake bitches could never
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I just had to use an empty fry container from Chick-fil-A to scrape the snow off my car I’m living my best life
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Today I’m thankful that I’m 1700 miles away from my family in a place where weed is legal
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Um I just realized that when I went to
@Zaxbys
for lunch 8 days ago they didn't give me toast with my meal and now I'm very mad
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Um my roommate just brought home the same guy I brought home last weekend I want to throw up.
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This guy really let me get in his car that doesn’t have ac and the windows also don’t go down? How fucking rude?
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Someone really had the audacity to pass out during end game and now they stopped the movie and won’t let anyone leave I am appalled
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You hoes better watch the fuck out she’s coming for all yalls spots this winter
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I thought zac efron just walked into food lion and I screeched really loudly but it was just another lesbian :/
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SHE LEFT THE SUDS IN THE BUCKET AND THE CLOTHES HANGING OUT ON THE LINE
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Trying to find a scientist who will put my brain in a fish's body so I can ride the fish tube serious inquiries only
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Unfortunately I was not rewarded the opportunity to eat any sort of Mac and cheese on this day. My one chance for serotonin... vanished...
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Once again I got shitfaced drunk at Red Robin tonight and I can feel my pulse in my arms
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I still can't believe that I'm auditioning for my dream corps in just 11 days.
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I went to jcc for exactly 3 days about 4 years ago and I still to this day use my student ID to get discounts
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They have been trying to kill each other since they met and now randomly I find them like this 🥹
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The people in the apartment above me have been having what vividly sounds like sex since 10am and I just want to know how
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My favorite thing to do since moving home is driving around in my big truck with the windows down blasting the gayest music I have
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Me at drum corps
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I really hated my new roommate but he just folded the clothes I've been too lazy to get out of the dryer for 2 days so now we're bffs
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Um I texted my parents about their demon child and this was their response. I am disgusted. Please pray.
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Just remembered how in high school we had like 7 billion lockers all over the school and they never let us use them. Or I think we had to pay for them? And everyone thought that was dumb so no one did? Idk for sure but wtf.
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Except for my signature crocs and long sleeve shirt combination, I have not worn a single decent looking outfit since New Years, so I probably will where crocs and a long sleeve shirt to the club this weekend
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In other news, I just had to call the police and paramedics because one of our employees just stabbed another employee Texas is GREAT
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I fully believe I was born to be a reality tv star. I could win literally any reality competition show on tv right now. Please don’t @ me unless you’re casting me.
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The cookout at 42 literally just did me so dirty I am offended beyond all belief I may not recover
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Hmm okay well I already went to the gym and the grocery store and got my car washed and it’s not even 11am... I fully thought those tasks would take me at the very least 2-3 business days. I honestly wish I stayed in bed and woke up at a more decent time like 3pm
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Tonight is my kids first game and literally all of them look like they face planted into a pool of highlighter
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Someone just made a bet that I couldn't go 2 hours without quoting hairspray and I only lasted 3 minutes I love myself
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Um some girl at the front desk of my apartments office just told me "man I ain't never seen lips like that on a white boy before" ????!!!!?!
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I just threw a box of croissants at my mother because she's transphobic happy friday
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