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tendollar

@tendollardanny

Followers
2,839
Following
1,039
Media
260
Statuses
38,993
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 months
pov: you’re about to experience the worst depressive episode of your entire life
@poptwats
I am paradoxical
4 months
Realizing life is literally just what U make of it ………….,,,.
Tweet media one
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
they shouldn’t have called the first one world war 1. that’s just asking for trouble
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
9 months
hey man i noticed you’re the only person who likes my tweets. want me to just text them to you?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 month
communist gf she’s better in theory
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
*gets 3 likes in 5 minutes* this one’s goin viral baby
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 months
schizophrenia but it’s just thinking every vague post is about you
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 months
bro yesterday was an aesop’s fable
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
2 months
they should invent a friend you can talk to
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
does any of this matter
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
hope my life immediately gets radically better for no reason at all and never gets bad again
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
feeling depressed? stop whatever you’re doing and just think about how bad you’re feeling
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
i hate my posts as much as you do
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 months
if i was icarus i simply would have demonstrated moderation rather than hubris
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
nice to just get one or two likes sometimes
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
job interviewer: it says here you killed yourself several years ago?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
kamala harris is the worst first lady we’ve ever had
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
6 years
*gets 3 likes in 5 minutes* this one’s goin viral baby
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
twitter is practice. i’m not sure what for yet
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 months
it’s a miracle we’re able to communicate at all
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
through no fault of my own i have wasted my entire life
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
9 months
*fires off 5 no-likers in a row* my work here is done
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
scenario would be a beautiful name for a little italian boy
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
your honor i thought it was funny
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
in a stunningly strategic move trump nomiates to the court: joe biden??????????
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
interviewer: it says here you’re interested in acquiring resources so you can stay alive?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
as we approach the halloween season try not to forget the scariest thing of all. intimacy
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
dming a girl for 6 days is equivalent to a 2 year irl relationship
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
how is your little girlfriend from online?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
the saying things to saying more things pipeline
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 months
the jester is making some really problematic comments toward the king right now
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
a million dollars isn’t cool. you know what’s cool? doing a trilogy of jokes on twitter dot com
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
lost a follower due to natural causes
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
a viral tweet above all has to be relatable. it should be something like: [me filling the ice tray with water and putting it in the freezer]: no way this shit turning into ice 😂 [me checking the freezer a few hours later]: 😭😭😭
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
not getting likes. app is on the fritz again
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
hey man see you unfollowed me was it an accident?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
we live in the worst time in all of human history
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
twitter isn’t real life. but to be fair, neither is real life
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
i’m a little confused by everything that’s ever happened to me
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 months
have to get insanely better at everything
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
my ex-girlfriend? no i said this is my x girlfriend. we met on the app
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
hey there delilah can i borrow twenty dollars
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
sir, how many posts have you made tonight? sir please step out of the car
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 months
one day i’ll be normal. this will all be a distant memory..
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
will not be making any good posts tonight
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 months
@gwimbees i had no idea how many people would relate to this
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
26 days
long day ahead at the consciousness factory
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
been getting really into twitter lately
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
there has to be less to life than this
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
its important to actively piss off and alienate your followers
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
conspiracy theory: there’s a camera inside your phone
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
if you’re a narcissist it’s time to take a long hard look in the mirror
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
offering a $50,000 reward to anyone who can, in plain english, explain what she’s trying to say here
@annakhachiyan
Anna Khachiyan
5 years
The main problem with the left’s compulsory sexual libertinism is that it’s neurotic not erotic
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
you can teach a man to fish but you can’t teach a fish to man
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
calming myself down by freaking out
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
i’m one of the accounts on here
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
getting horny in the confines of my mind
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
2 years
reverse cowgirl? you mean cowboy?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
to get a girlfriend you have to be a little bit gay
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
7 months
sticking a fork in my creative outlet
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
2 years
stay calm. things will never get better. breathe. you are trapped in a nightmare. everything will be okay. it won’t <3
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
i’m going to solve mental illness
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
stuck in sex traffic now i’m gonna be late for sex work
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
why did they call it bipolar and not up and down syndrome?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
*extremely mentally well* hi....
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
therapist: when you say “i hate myself and want to die” — what do you mean by that? me: it means i’m happy therapist: *taking notes*
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
is it just me or is fucking kind of sexual?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
in my bed era
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
repeat after me: things will never get better
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
might stop forming memories. i don’t need them anymore
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
if you think child slavery is okay i don’t know what to tell you. i respect your opinion i guess
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
i don’t know who needs to hear this.. so i won’t say it. wouldn’t want the wrong person hearing it
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 months
Tweet media one
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
losing my mind.. but gaining a following
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
i have this recurring image of a coffin being lowered into the ground as a slowed down version of party rock plays in a minor key
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
@Dentonppm no more for a while
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
still waiting on the damn mail-in likes on some of my posts
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
your honor on behalf of my client i’d like to say: 🥺🥺🥺
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
the cute grandma from inside the capitol has been hanged
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
2 years
[to no one in particular. about nothing in particular] we got this..
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
*takes a deep breath* alright going to be normal for the rest of my life
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
6 months
it’s always women’s day. on women island..
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
it’s important to spend a lot of time feeling sorry for yourself
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
it started out as a bit how did it end up like this? it was only a bit it was only a bit
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
if you post long enough eventually someone finds you so annoying that they marry you
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
they’re coming out with a new year next year
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
left twitter? sometimes i wish they would.....
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
we live in a phone
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
a twitter addiction is far more shameful than a heroin addiction
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
simply DO NOT care anymore!!!!!!!!!!! - sent from yes, i do care; regardless of what i say island
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
idea for a show: guy who lives in an elevator
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
insomnia would be a beautiful name for a baby girl
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
you have reached your monthly limit of thoughts
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
3 years
it should literally be illegal to make a movie
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
your brain could easily produce serotonin. it just doesn’t want to
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
no posts until you finish your replies
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
about to “do you wanna have sex?” my way into some pussy
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
4 years
is it too much to ask to feel good every single second of my life?
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
1 year
professional bowlers union declares strike
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
lose a few followers gain a few followers: that’s called breaking even baby
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@tendollardanny
tendollar
5 years
hunter gatherer? can i get to know her first???
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