teatime75
@teatime75
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loves a cup of tea, a book with a twist, movie with a plot, and anything Tom Hardy. cohost @CalmDownTags , @SweetEscapeTags , @TagsDemon and @taggingsisters
Joined March 2020
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Pinned Tweet
Stephen Dorff: I’m embarrassed for Scarlett Johansson for being in Black Widow.
*googles Stephen Dorff acting credits*
Me:
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Usher’s Manager: you’re going to need to change outfits sometime.
Usher: I’ll do that.. and on roller skates.
#HalftimeShow
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Montana has the decency to have a librarian fetish but what the hell is wrong with Tennessee and their Kevin James obsession…
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Letitia Wright being an anti vaxxer playing Shuri who is a brilliant scientist and would probably have been the leading developer of a Covid vaccination …
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Edward orders like a “Karen” .... but I’m also concerned that Edward is possibly passed out in his car from diabetic shock.
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Not to be a Debbie Downer …but considering it’s a puppet named Elmo and not a real person is the only one even “checking in on me” seems to say it all.
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Elon: X is such a better name.
Me: No. Twitter was a better name. We’ve all seen your kids’ names… naming isn’t your strong suit.
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Alice Cooper serving up food for the less fortunate while Eric Clapton sues a woman over a $13 CD…
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“Ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed” wasn’t just a lyric for Smash Mouth.. it was a lifestyle choice during a pandemic.
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When all you want is your tantrum validated but receive a Boo Hoo from the audience..
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Johnny Knoxville making it to 50 after watching him do Jackass stunts for years only affirms my belief that anything is possible.
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Bette Midler: we should have a sex strike in protest.
Me: checks diary… seems like I’ve been protesting for decades
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Newsmax for months: this election was stolen and the truth will come out.
Dominion: let’s talk about this in court.
Newsmax: we apologize and here’s some money ...
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Carole Baskin on CNN talking about a Tiger being on the loose connected to a murder suspect ...
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Is Kim Kardashian auditioning for a American Horror story reboot?
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Angelina Jolie once more explaining to her kids why they won’t be seeing their grandfather, Jon Voight, for the holidays..
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Meghan McCain on the view talking about how it’s time WE support paid maternity leave.
Every woman who has already juggled family and job security for YEARS...
#TheView
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Seeing why poor Anthony is trending has me toasting to all teachers.. everyone of you deserve a drink tonight
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Waking up to the Anti vaxxer movement trying to start its revolution at a Cheesecake Factory ..
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Everyone: can’t believe she used Prego
Me: do these people have cats? Was there cats on this counter 2 minutes before they made this video...
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Everyone sharing their Airbnb stories of ridiculous hidden fees and expenses.
Me sitting on my couch ... the only vacation I’ve had in years ...
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Bella Thorne can make a million dollars in a day on a fans only account but airlines need a bailout every time a financial crisis occurs. How about Delta gets a fans only account instead of my tax money?
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If Chuck Woolery is tweeting about Hitler on Memorial day you know he’s serving potato salad with raisins at his picnic ...
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Bitcoin Pizza selling pizza but not taking Bitcoin for payment ... let me guess.... there’s only tacos on the menu?
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Seth Rogen looks like he’s promoting both weed AND sorcery ...
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Eric Trump: my father donated any foreign money profits to the US Treasury.
Trump’s accountants:
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People not liking Lucy Hale dating Skeet Ulrich because of the age difference.
Leonardo DiCaprio:
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Me looking at all these Bad Mall versus Good Mall tweets from people and knowing that in my small town...I never had the luxury of having more than 1 mall...
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Joel Osteen: don’t concentrate on what you don’t have ... just have faith.
Leaves interview ...climbs into limo heads to private yacht..
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Now Anaheim has canceled on Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene.
At this point I don’t think The Four Seasons Total Landscaping will let them use their parking lot … after hours… in the middle of a blizzard. But ..
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#LetsGoBrandonReallyMeans
an opportunity to hijack a child’s phone about Santa Claus and then cry I’m a victim when people say I’m an a**hole..
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Liam Neeson has been trending all day and I keep thinking to myself.. I hope he’s taking a phone call from Putin
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Federal judge says Al Gore was more of a man than Trump.
Me: I would counter with who isn’t more of a man than Donald Trump…
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Not sure what I find more disturbing …that the BBCE authenticated fake Pokémon cards or that Logan Paul thought spending $3.5 million on Pokémon cards was a good investment even if he did think they were authentic..
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Kanye admitted to having never voted and doesn’t believe in vaccines but wants to run the country like Wakanda. Wakanda was a fictional country that was essentially led by science. Did he even watch this movie?
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Looking at Hank the Tank not worried about him breaking into homes in the Tahoe area but rather those homes aren’t providing him with enough healthy food options … lay out vegetable platter once in awhile.
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Dakota Johnson hanging with Blue Ivy makes more sense to me than Chris Martin and Jay Z going to Disneyland together…
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Cannot imagine holiday dinners with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson when Chet starts talking current events …
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Is it just me or does anyone else feel oddly comforted seeing Stephen King trending on Christmas Eve..
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Until Tom Selleck shows me his reverse mortgage paperwork he needs to stop trying to screw me out of my inheritance by seducing mother with his voluptuous mustache…
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Let me put it this way… both Dr. Pepper and Dr. Phil are trending and only one of them is relevant. And it’s not Dr. Phil.
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White Castle: let’s open the biggest White Castle ever ...but I want people to wait in line for HOURS....but where in the world would anyone ever wait in line for hours for a White Castle burger??
Jr White Castle executive: How about Florida..
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Henry Winkler: we need a cataclysmic event to bring us all together.
Me: pretty sure if aliens came down tomorrow to harvest the human race .. we would just argue whether or not the aliens were fake or if they had socialist plans for us …
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When you see Bermuda Triangle trending and finally feel like Twitter is going to focus on real concerns rather than things like celebrities dating or social injustices …
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Dan Levy and Paul Rudd having dinner out makes me feel more optimistic than Jeff Bezos taking a trip to space …
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Trump calling Grisham while on Air Force One to talk about his penis after it was slandered by Stormy Daniels…
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Maybe 65% of democrats would prefer a new candidate.. I don’t know. But I do know the outstanding majority will vote for any democratic candidate on the ballot over Trump.
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Tom Selleck: I want to be remembered for Magnum PI.
Reverse Mortgages:
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Childhood me: listens to Brown Eyed girl and idolizes Van Morrison.
Adult me: anytime Van Morrison publicly speaks ...
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Ron DeSantis: France would just roll over if they were invaded.
The French Resistance:
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The Devil trying to put some “distance” between him and Tim Boyd the current Mayor of Colorado City, Texas ..
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What they don’t tell you about adulthood ... that you’ll develop a taste for Raisin Bran....
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Goldie Hawn: masks are hurting our children’s mental health.
Me: I had no idea Goldie you were a child psychologist.
Goldie Hawn: I’m not. Just a celebrity with a selfish opinion that I needed to share.
Me:
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Swedish Fish is a top tier candy and I will not hear any slander against them...
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I’ve realized how incredibly good looking my eyes are when my face is mostly covered by a mask
#SomethingPositiveAbout2020
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You’re first in line when the Georgia tattoo parlors open this week.
#SignsYoureACOVIDIOT
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Kimmie … Melania didn’t even show up to her husband’s birthday party so I wouldn’t worry about what Jill Biden’s dress looks like…
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That’s Not Kate. At this point Buckingham Palace should find out where Trump gets his fake Melania’s. Maybe they can get a better “Kate”.
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Mike Lindell: democrats ruined me financially.
Democrats: no…we think you’re broke because you spent all your money on conspiracy theories and maybe…just maybe…a bit of crack.
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Redneck Riviera is on the list of vacation places to avoid during a pandemic..
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Am I the only person when they see Tara Reade trending automatically starts thinking there’s a new Sharknado coming out and then become disappointed to realize it’s the wrong Tara …
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Everyone hating on Seth Rogan because he’s happy he didn’t have kids…some of you shouldn’t be responsible for a pet rock much less children.
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Did not see Azealia Banks coming for Kanye and …
*reads notes*
.. his industry intern vape smoking slut named Julia… something like that …
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Sunkist is trending and it has to be said… what a delightful fake tasting beverage with a magnificent shade of orange that ever was invented. I know every Sunkist I enjoyed as a child took approximately 7 minutes off my life and I still refuse to regret any of them..
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#FoundYouAttractiveUntil
you told me you’ve been featured on Dateline for the mysterious disappearances of 3 previous girlfriends....
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Brad Pitt is better looking now than he was in Thelma and Louise which was almost 30 years ago. That man ages better than wine...
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The Shawshank Redemption is still the best Stephen King adaptation there is. A perfect movie about the horrors of real life but more importantly... it’s about hope and friendship. Hope maybe dangerous but it never goes away.
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When you wake up to rumors of Chris Evans and Selena Gomez dating and it’s already your new favorite Hollywood couple …
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Cannot believe that Harry and Meghan got so much bad publicity yet the Royal family just paid off a rape victim …
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Dr. Dre’s wife telling every man she meets she’s not interested so she can keep her $300k a month spousal support checks coming…
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When you got no clean laundry and you see World War III trending..
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Will never forgive Peacock for giving Casey Anthony any type of attention or energy after all these years. Anthony got away with murder. She doesn’t deserve it.
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Justin Timberlake better not be telling anyone he didn’t have enough money for an Uber. And I feel so grateful I can use this gif to show my disappointment in him
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Maybe Lara Trump can open for Ted Nugent at his next Chili cook-off singing gig.
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Sauer: I think Seal Team 6 can carry out political rival assassinations.
Judge Pan:
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The only thing I’m getting from this is Meghan McCain cares a lot about the American flag and that people know she’s John McCain’s daughter ..
#TheView
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Everyone talking about Ryan Reynolds lack of depth. Almost 90 percent of Hollywood actors play the exact same character over and over again … it’s called typecasting. Just be glad he’s plays his character exceptionally well ..
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#WhenTheWomenTakeOver
on Monday morning we will get Covid issues contained, economic crisis will be averted, climate damage repaired....then we’ll go to lunch. And we are NOT ordering a salad. Not sure what we got planned for Tuesday.
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Cindy McCain being appointed an ambassadorship is more than acceptable to me ... but you can’t make me enjoy watching Meghan McCain on The View ..
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Republicans: can you believe that Texas Democrats drink Miller Lite??
Me: can you believe Ted Cruz flew to Cancun for vacation while Texans dealt with no power in a blizzard ….
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No matter how obscure Brendan Fraser’s acting career may become ...he will always have The Mummy. And there’s not a damn thing haters can do about it...
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