Neha from Cleartax
@tantanoo
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Humari aur koi branch nahi hai.
Seattle, WA
Joined July 2008
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wife married me
Tell me about a random act of kindness that you were a recipient of?
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Tisca Chopra is currently 48 years old so she is actually Chaleeska Chopra and very soon she will be Pachaaska Chopra.
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RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR? I AM ABSOUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER *TOE* OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! And Ginny, dear, congratulations on making it into Gryffindor.
A car crashed into the second story of a building in Santa Ana, California, this morning. Officials say the vehicle hit the road's center divider and went airborne.
Photos via Orange County PIO
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Yeh khud se hi chor police khel raha hai.
BREAKING:
US President Joe Biden calls for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza.
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So this Pyaar ka punchnama guy makes the same movie every two years or so with the same cast and different name. Movies hai ya engineering semester project?
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I am all like jaati hun main and traffic is like jaldi hai kya
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Aishwarya Rai when the Cannes festival is announced every year
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Apparently after Bhabhiji Ghar Par Hain there is another show now called Jijaji Chhat Par Hain. What's next? Sasu Ma Sandaas Mein Hain?
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On this day, ages ago, Lord Ram returned from onsite.
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Mera nagma nagma Mera kalma kalma Mera nagma nagma Mera kalma kalma
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Fondly remembering my friend Mayank who went to a Fast and Furious movie with me and loudly exclaimed ‘Arey yeh toh pichli wali film ka hi staff hai!’
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Throwback to the day this dog didn't let a MSEB guy take meter reading so he took photo of the dog instead.
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kareena was like rabba mere rabba rabba rabba mere rabba rabba mere rabba rabba and rabba was like come to the fucking point already.
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People on my Instagram be like Bambai se gai Poona Poona se gayi Dilli Dilli se gayi Goa phir bhi na hua Corona.
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When you are in a religious procession and a baraat crosses by and you are like idhar bhi naach hi lete hain.
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ᵀᵃᵈᵃᵖ ᵗᵃᵈᵃᵖ ᵏᵉ ᶦˢˢ ᵈᶦˡ ˢᵉ ᵃᵃʰ ⁿᶦᵏᵃˡᵗᶦ ʳᵃʰᶦ ᵏᵘᶜʰ ᵗᵒʰ ˢᵃᶻᵃ ᵗʰᶦ ᵖʸᵃᵃʳ ᵏᶦ ᵏᶦ ᵃᶦˢᵃ ᵏʸᵃ ᵍᵘⁿᵃᵃʰ ᵏᶦʸᵃ JO LUT GAYEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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if after six movies mission is still impossible best is to give contract to another vendor
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and then she was like iss pyaar ko kya naam duun bechain dil ko kaise aaram dun and rabba was like yeh puchne ke liye chaalis baar bulaya.
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In my North-Indian-Bengali household, they used to call the petticoat ‘saaya’. For the longest time I thought the movie ‘Mera Saaya’ was about someone’s petticoat.
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Jared Leto. Jared utho. Jared lambi saans lo. Jared jeebh nikalo. Jared khane mein kya khaya tha raat mein.
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BHAGWAAN SAB KO SUKH DE, SHANTI DE, SAMRUDHHI DE, GHAR KE PAAS CHALTA HUA ATM DE, BIRIYANI MEIN DO LEG PIECE DE, FOREIGN MEIN COUSINS DE...
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Why do people keep buy things at Shopper’s Stop despite the strict instruction?
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It is A.R. Rehman's birthday today but you have to celebrate it a couple of times to really enjoy it.
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Me: Neend churayi meri kisne o sanam?
Body: Bad lifestyle choices.
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Who called it masturbation and not main dardi rub rub kardi
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Whenever I doubt my overconfidence, I remind myself that Salman tried to teach Govinda dancing in Soni de nakhre.
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They place you in a cubicle and ask you to think outside the box.
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when you have a wild friday night and distant relatives visit you early next morning
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Incapable of singing Tirchi topi wale without following it up with B-Tex laga le.
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I am just a guy, standing in front of my mobile, waiting for OTP.
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John Wick chaar movies se apne kutte ke marne ka badla liye ja raha hai. Twitter pe nahi hai toh usko pata hi nahi ki woh kutta usse pyaar hi nahi karta tha.
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Ek din mera bhi tweet viral hoga aur main bhi uske neeche vibrator bechunga.
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My
@uber
driver today, Mr. Bashir Khan from Kabul, Afghanistan is the biggest fan of
@aamir_khan
and Mann is his favorite movie. And when I say biggest fan, I mean biggest fan.
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Huge family wants to dump their least favorite kid but he just doesn't get the message.
#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
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Saajan is a movie about the pros and cons of ethical catfishing.
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In another country Vivek Agnihotri's tweet will perhaps be grounds for a criminal investigation but abhi idhar lynching accused are state guests toh saiyan bhaye kotwaal what fear.
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Someone on Reddit called him Syrian Lannister and that’s the best thing I’ve read this year.
How Rozi Khan, a waiter in Pakistan’s Rawalpindi, found local fame as a Peter Dinklage/Tyrion Lannister lookalike.
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"Main tumhare bacchon ki maa ban ne wali hun" - Angelina Jolie to all third world countries.
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PREPARING TO CONFIGURE WINDOWS. DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER. I SAID DONT TURN IT OFF YOU MORON. STAY AWAY FRM THAT BUTTON. SAALE BAHAR MIL
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All set for Halloween 2016. Going as a 3.5 MM Jack(with an estranged iPhone in tow).
#halloweencostume
#halloween2016
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Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be wasted on the internet.
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In better personal news, our apartment has a small art gallery and guess WHO is exhibiting his photos for the next three months! 🕺🏽
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If they were my kids I’d name them Boromir and Chotomir.
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Everyone tweets about spotting shashi tharoor in Andaz Apna Apna. Has anyone tweeted about
@varungrover
in AAA yet?
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Did anyone else’s family own this random ass photo of two cats in the 90s?
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I think wife pretty much won at the Halloween costume thing.
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Wife is going to India for a couple of months so has stocked the fridge with food. <3
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onions were not turning brown fast enough so I sent them to a spelling bee prep class
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I think the real skill of NRI life is the ability to occasionally wrap up your entire existence into 4 pieces of luggage(3 if you are flying Emirates).
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My baby would have eaten his clothes, the chair, the wall and the person performing this if they took this long to feed him.
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Wife was like saavan chal raha hai non-veg nahi khayenge and I was like saavan mein lag gayi saag dil mera haye.
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million dollar lamberghinni
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Wanted to tweet about Mom but tareef karun kya uski jisne mujhe banaya.
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Wife's cake game is on point. I think this cake accurately summarizes how I have spent thirty years of my life.
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Asked mom if she has any of my spare passport photographs that I could use and she was like yeah I think I do.
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Poor Djokovic cannot tell if it is Australian Open or Australian Closed anymore.
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Woh sab theek but duniya mein aaye ho toh love kar lo.
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Favorite memory from diwali is when the richest guy in the neighbourhood would burn a 100K ladi at 3 AM to have the last word.
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If you want to rent an apartment in India, you need to bring six more month’s rent, your own furniture, the state’s religion, a wife and a few children(preferably your own), a policeman’s recommendation letter, your own parking space, blood of seven virgins..
When I tell SF people that if you rent an apartment in London it comes with all the furniture they look at me like I'm crazy, exactly the same way when I tell London people if you rent an apartment in SF it comes empty and you have to bring all your own furniture.
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Is there a sequel to Zinadgi Gulzar Hai called Zindagi Prasoon Joshi hai?
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Walked into a salon and was like husn haazir hai mohabbat ki saza paane ko and they were like sir do you have an appointment?
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Fondly remembering all the paper I’ve eaten over the years because the coffee bite wrapper won’t come off.
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Has anyone tried ordering stones from SnapDeal to see if they get a phone instead?
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All I want from 2019 is for Irrfan Khan to make a healthy recovery.
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Hair is falling like Shilpa Shetty in super hit movie Baazigar.
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100 days. Kept banging walls checking to see if parents had murdered someone and hidden the skeleton.
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We were watching Shazam and I was like ignore the action and enjoy the jokes and wife was oh like our marriage and I was like
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@BabaJogeshwari
The first and last time I was on a bombay local train, I didn’t know that you need to negotiate your way out before your station gets closer and I was behind by two stations and a guy looks at me and goes train mein hi reh tu lavdeya. Fond memories.
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This Aadhar verdict after the 377 verdict is like a physical embodiment of the Ghar se nikalte hi Kuch duur chalte hi meme.
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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then there is annual performance appraisal and then you quit.
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