Wayward Cunt Pickle
@tankcesar
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Pinned Tweet
I hate when people confuse education with intelligence. You can have a degree and still be a stupid fuck.
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The middle school P.E. teacher who told me verbatim that "your life will amount to fucking nothing you fucking n****r" just asked me for a dollar in front of this Walmart.
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Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.
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This might damage our relationship but I cut my pizza like this every time.
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Gave him my pocket change anyway cause apparently I'm a better person now.
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And there it is constantly playing in my head over again. Cutting my sister's body down from where she hung herself, holding her limp body in my arms, ears playing cruel tricks on me as I swore I heard her breath. In this moment I know I am utterly, without fail completely broken
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When Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam said "on a weelan, onea wissitonawayeaa, ani cownanasay nannawowasay ani collah agaiii" I felt that.
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Who's able to do 10 push-ups now you piece of shit?!
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Have you ever met someone who is super smart academically but also is probably the dumbest person you've ever met?
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Gen X ain't nothing to fuck with.
You do not want to fuck with us.
We grew up with no safe spaces.
We were born before Google.
We will not be the bigger person.
We will fuck you up.
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Been nearly 6 years & there it is still constantly playing in my head over and over again. Cutting my sister's body down from where she hung herself holding her limp body in my arms, ears playing cruel tricks on me as I swore I heard her breath. I'll always miss you lil' sis. RIP
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If you can guess who these 4 incredible heroes are who saved New York City back in 1984 you get bragging rights.
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It’s okay to be white.
It’s okay to be black.
It’s okay to be Asian.
It’s okay to be Latin.
It’s okay to be female.
It’s okay to be male.
It’s okay to be gay.
It’s okay to be straight.
It’s okay to be you.
But it’s also perfectly okay to put ketchup on your hotdogs too!
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When sadness hits me like a brick wall I try to make others laugh with my cuntiness to not dig myself too much into the depression hole.
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Jada reveals she was the couple of guys up to no good who started making trouble in Will's neighborhood.
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What’s y’all’s grandpas names? I feel like all grandpas have old ass names.
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Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.
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Dating in my 20s: I'm gonna die alone.
Dating in my 30s: I'd rather die alone.
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I wanna lose weight but I don’t wanna eat less snacks than I am now or move off my bed at all. Any advice?
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Due to selfish reasons I will still be fat this summer.
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Sometimes protecting your peace looks a little like telling people to fuck off.
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You don't really want sex, you just want the physical validation that you are sexually desirable to replace the emotional rejection of being unlovable.
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Don't know how anybody can hate on lazy people, we didn't even do anything.
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I thought doggystyle meant I would get a treat after.
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Can we all just stop talking about how traumatic it is to step on Legos. There are tons more traumatizing things that you can step on.
Example: A baby
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@Crazy_ButCute2
Lucky for him I'm a better person now and gave him my pocket change anyway.
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If I ever win the lottery I won't tell anybody but there will be signs.
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I know a little bit about a lot of things.
Narrator: He didn't know shit about fuck.
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I don't have the energy to respond to all the replies and dms right now but I see you and I thank you for all the kind messages while I get over this depressive state I'm in.❤️
Miss you little sister with something fierce right now
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I’ve literally never seen a hot selfie of someone in a sundress. They don’t exist. It's not possible for people to wear sundresses AND be hot? No one can prove me wrong either and don't even bother so please don’t even try.
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I'm not flirting with you I'm just talking to you while being ridiculously good looking.
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If spiders wore pants how do you think they would wear them?
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This might damage our relationship but I put ketchup on my hot dogs.
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I've should've known better than to ever try to be happy in this place.
That's my bad 💁🏾♂️
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I wish it was socially acceptable to say "I don't give a flying fuck about this right now" and just walk away from a conversation.
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I've done a mass unfollow and I've only kept the ones that have severe depression while also being extremely horny at the same time so if you're reading this...
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Ladies which one do you have?
Fellas which one do you prefer?
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It's been almost 6 years after she killed herself and me finding her limp body hanging there and having to cut her down. I wonder how long this PTSD will take to get over? All I know is that I'll always miss my lil sis and that beautiful smile of hers that always lit up a room.
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Ahem...let's try this again. I’ve literally never seen a hot selfie of someone in lingerie. They don’t exist. It's not possible for people to wear lingerie AND be hot. No one can prove me wrong either and don't even bother so please don’t even try.
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Flipping your kids off behind their back is self care.
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"You're a lucky man or woman" is a very polite way of telling a person, to their face, you'd fuck their partner senseless.
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I missed your call because I don't use my phone like that.
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People who love you will never try to make you go camping.
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It's been nearly 6 years after she unalived herself and me finding her limp body hanging there and having to cut her down. I wonder how long this process will take to get over this trauma? All I know for certain is that I'll always miss my lil sis and that beautiful smile of hers
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Feeling a hair in your mouth is way more disgusting when you're bald.
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This might damage our relationship but I take baths like this.
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You still haven't met all the people who are going to disappoint you yet.
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I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does.
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I grieve all the great tweets that aren't seen because of the algorithm.
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I'm on season 3 episode 14 of everyone's bullshit on here.
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I've done a mass unfollow and I've only kept the ones that are dead inside while also being horny so if you're reading this...
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