Maduna
@ta_kweila
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Following
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Recovering pessimist. Coriander sucks! a failed plant 🌵mom...
cape town
Joined April 2010
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Pinned Tweet
This is what I expect for my R50 contribution...
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Booked SAA last week from JHB to CPT
They have this App u can use on board to track your location in real time, speed and distance above sea level...
They offer 'free' meals with dessert, drinks and it's cheaper...
State owned!
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Why is the dating pool for young professionals a total disaster?
Let me tell you, it's all thanks to BCom Accounting and LLB grads, women specifically (yes lets blame it on them)
Here's the deal...
🧵
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I swear to God ndim orongo because wow JHB food 😭😭😭
The Ritz Cafe... Norwood
Nantso 300g ye T-bone
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So a nanny is a Professional child care supporter? Nam I'm not Mantshingilani I'm a Professional access controller and my KPAs involves filtering unauthorized delinquents, and operating manual access impediment proponent (also known as boom-gate)
#DateMyFamily
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thina sina 1year today!
I share more pics with my broke friend here later...
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if you are running a small business, packaging will make or break it...
if u are in CPT let me plug you...
Ul get packaging cheap for everything here...
This is not an ad, I just want u guys to have it easier and thrive!
More below...
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Look, if there will be lamajita ase EC from koma Queens college, Dale college
sundibiza mna neqela lam kuloondibano...
I english yezantwana ihorho kakhulu, dashed with isiXhosa nobudyan, i rizz yazo iba a bit advanced
Ithi lonto ooRhomotso nooAsemahle bazodunyelwa zizo
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Akhonto eyogqitha i away game...
uphanthelwe la meal ine 3 piece 🍗nge tray, uzisonge kula couch, ubukele iiReal House Wives of Chintsa,
umbone umanyoko u invested "usile ke uStacey!"
awazi noba ngomphi, qha you nod in agreement ubasele "and ukrwada..." utsho ngomthamo...
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I was like T-Bone? Klipa? What a deal
Kanti 😭
Nah I was at fault
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Cape town huns, after moving to Table View
"Actually, its not Champagne but MCC darling, unless it originates from the Champagne region in France"
uqonde sonxila kabuhlungu apha...🤦🏽♂️
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Ndigilwe yenye yezintwana, ezi ze 🌈nge trolley kwa PnP today, xandiyijonga kanti nayo indijongile, yathi "sorry sunshine"
Sunshine? mna ntlabi yakwaMaduna 🤔 ndim uSunshine?
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They can never truly find joy coz there's always another hurdle ahead, first tht ITC, then it is APC, they are truly stuck on a relentless 'industry' conveyor belt, and there's no getting off
they keep Bioplus in business, not Lovers Plus...(bars makwedini)
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@Bhele__
If ukhule kungekho DSTV kowenu, umzali engeyo Club Member ka Lewis, ungenasisi omdala ofunda iDrum/Move, ubhuti wakho engana VCR, R&B hip-hop collection.
You did not have vodafone V360 kwa 6 njengathi
ufike after Matric eGoli/CPT (not eKapa)...
sumdla u 30 sec, sumdlala bra
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@withmy_Wo
1/2 She was 36 and I was 24.
This other time I ran out of excuses and finally went to her place.That was the longest night, xandiqala ucimela, wayemane endinyola ezimbanjeni umnanyoko after 5 min or so, andifunqule andibeke phezukwakhe, athi 'awzanga uzolala apha yenza'😭
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For abemhle kucace ukuba uyajola umntu wam kulo Dec kulemigidi...
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Yizapha!
Mholo ungubani?, ungokabani?
Ungulo useKapa?
uyandazi mna?
Awundazi?
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JHB stop this thing
"I am coming to Cape Town, let's go to Table Mountain/ wine farm"
We do not find these things as exciting. Do your little tourism and we can meet for a meal somewhere convenient
We do not go to JHB on some "hey let's go to Vilakazi St..."
Nani respect us
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@SUGVHRY
@Thomas_Somo
I was speeding, with expired license dis...
When the officer came, I shed tears and I said "akhonto endingamenzelanga yona lamntana grootmans..."
The grootman comforted me, and gave me Valpre water to calm down, and let me go
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@tibiniza
@NeoNontso
@LeratoMannya
We apologise in advance for 'spoiling things' for the rest of you special blacks who only deserve nice and finer things in life, and stop finding joy in those things as soon as they are accessible to other blacks... sorry!
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@nokuhle_kumalo
Our toiletries.
Nivea roll on, lotion and that's it. No pink tax. No sanitary towels and all related expenses...
Our groceries don't include that woolis lasagna.
3 jeans, we don't buy outfits for braai invite, dozens of Babey showers
Small things that make a difference
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Kanene 2015 nda applaya for ipost ye teaching yase China 🥹
Kwi interview ndabuzwa, "so yu Safafrikan, why want go China?"
Ndacacisa ke ukuba i want to explore and to be exposed to different cultures and blah blah...
Yabuza laponi
"So no heart break?"
💔
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Dear
@anelisa_tuswa
Andifuni noxoka numbers and height ain't balancing, but kindly share your email address...
❤️
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Where did women learn about these colours
Lilakh, thekhoys, nude, mawv, orchid, burgundy?
Like sasingekho thina eclassini or something? what happened to green? red, orange?
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@sellomkn
@SimplySteve_13
@PhilMphela
Nope, not all, the Morokas buried a wrong body, it turns out Archie orchestrated a fake death and disappeared with a famous Dr from Sandton wait wait...🤨it must be difficult for SA writers coz our daily lives resemble soap operas 🤦🏽♂️
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My heart is pure!
amankara ase CPT anganditya ndibe ngumpha ochutywe walahlwa, I dont care, i oledi lishap!...
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I am even hesitant adding ukuthi you are allowed 1 checked in bag at no extra cost...
This is absolutely not a promo, but awareness...
you are being ripped off by those other guys! while we have an operational national asset!
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when they finally gather strength to tell you the truth after a 3rd Strawberry Daiquiri 🍹 of R89
there that silent stir with the straw, a quick "f'hluuuuup!"
"Honestly I am really not looking to be with someone at the moment, I am currently working on myself..."
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The last time ndikwi date with an educated woman, I mean for her sake womxn... 😅🔥
Wayesenza iPost Doc, kwezi way zibu liberal arts kanje...
Safika kwezo restyu ezikwesisixeko siphantsi kwentaba yetafile, zigudl'unxweme...
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Imagine growing up in the rural EC kusithiwa eGoli kukwanyama ayipheli, kuphel'amazinyo endoda...
in your big age you come to Goli and...
I am not okay
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The only thing preventing me from ukuyohlala ezilalini and work remotely, yi connectivity 🛜
in 5 years ndibeka phantsi ku 9-5 ndiyokuzolusela 🐏🐑 and eat from my garden, ndenze lento endifuna uyenza e East London...❤️
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Ndiyabawela ngenye imini uvula iSpace ndizoyicacisa.
Its not like we are nonchalant when it comes to these DEMANDING MJOLO singamajita amaninzi
1. Sisuka kulamakhaya, kwezilali nezilokishi. We the survived Res nge tin fish-Spaghetti, Morvite nee noodles, frozen chckn...
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He sounds like he believes recognition is reserved for a select few, himself included...
and that getting freebies somehow elevates them to a status of peak self importance...
To him, gving anythng to others diminishes the superficial prestige he’s crafted for himself.
If brands were to randomly send out free packages to everyone who speaks about them then no company would ever exist.
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👴🏽"ngoku asingeni apha sifumane into yoxhathisa?"
I almost hit him with the "ukhona umgubo/rice endlini" line...
😭
Yhini uGubevu eyinkonde elulutho nexatyisiweyo ekuhlaleni...
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You cant date them. Just when the talking stage iqala ukuba dikidiki, they r already spiraling into the profession's pits of depression
...buried under a mountain of work, burnouts as always trying to squeeze a 25th hour into a 24 hr day.
Table for 2? nope pivot tables
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@KayMo2411
Oh wow I wouldn't hv known that some work for corporates, thats awesome congrats for your corporate job, you have done well for yourself.
Those who are practicing are here just laughing this off, because they somehow understand banter, and not needing any validation whatsoever.
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Do not be deceived by that nice pic of theirs in front of the high-court after admission, yes their lock screen
if this court of public judgement X pleases, as a lady, there's how are u dating a guy who calls another dude "my lord" for a living. rha! anganya u "your worship"
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@guguzwane__
@nduuh_wheels
I appreciate that people are different. Do learn to express your yourself. People will hurt you repeatedly.
"hi I didn't like or appreciate this and that, because... It made me feel... It should never ever happen again"
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This weekend sibeka my older brother...
(F2 his daughter)
Goodnight Gubevu 💔🕊️
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"ndizaphinda ndikufonele mabhabha ndisa lektsharisha apha e UCT Graduate School of Business, MCom Dev Finance..."
"ungalibali ushutela uMaduna iilekese zake"
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Nah but why my food is giving "intando kaThixo" vibes 😭...
iMount Everest yonke yepapa...andiyityi I am summiting apha
Nah yi 8th Wonder of the World lentaphane yepapa 😫
Ndigrand ngeGoli...
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crazy links inbetween amapiano friday mix
"ndicela ubhengeze ukuba sinenkomo yezila eMampevini"
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@RaeRalp
They knew what they were doing...they e even hiked SAA ticket prices to ensure it has a very terrible balance sheet to justify stealing it...
Thanks to this man
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But they are a little better than LLBs. where do we even start with the people of the State vs Makwanyane?
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@EvansKgasane
@AdvoBarryRoux
So
tommorow I can go 2 Medi Clinic and Gov will pay
2.i can have land as HDI
3.those bills ended poverty
4.anyone arrested?
5.the summit grew the economy and youth are employed...
Thanks I didn't know
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career paths are as predictable mos, you can practically map out your entire future from day one. "Articles are great!" said no one ever. They slog through, next big thing? SAICA's ITC. They do not have time for sht! but Woolies runs
dates? are canceled for another test attempt
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wandixaka umntu akafuna ungena emotweni, unditsalela back eMall 😅
I was on the parking lot on some "peyiye imali nana peyiye..." 😭
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Let's kick this off with the folks from Mr. Naidoo's ABC Traders.
You see, their student life cycle is about as dry dry as it gets. Those brickloads of IFRS standards don't just weigh down their backpacks,but sadly the nation's whole dating experience.
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Hear me out
Theres always a Unisa course for these folks, never ends...
While other adults are busy booking for ShortLefting, these folks are running around with their half-baked assignments for last minute submissions
How do you date such? Yes I am anti education!
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Nalanto of hosting abantu kwam ndayiyeka, especially aba abanga hostiyo
Why uphuma ne glass? uyisaphi?
Why uzobeka ihubbly kwindawo ene carpet?
Why uzothi gqi ne friend yakho endingayaziyo? ningaphethanga nex futhi?
Why ufuna ugoduka nesxhaso on some hey hey "imedi..."
🙅🏾♂️
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nantsi lentwana...
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And dont even get me started on the audit huns,they r always working, always anxious, and never have time for anything
They are the reason girls trips never happen!
They plan a night out 3 months in advance only to cancel because she has mh...you guessed it, swamped with work!
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They are all about arguing every little detail and being "right" all the damn time. It cant get worse really...they turn dates into full on interrogations.
Trust me, they will drop the “wht do you think about a prenup?” question on a 1st date. Seriously, Mbali? we just met!
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I helped two students with their research proposals in the last two weeks, ndababoleka this magic wand of mine in a form of a book...
Today bayibuyisile as promised, with some tokens of appreciation ❤️
Abafani nani, abantwana...nina anibuyisi
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1/2
Okay guys
next time you organise a braai...please have a conversation with the butcher...they are cool
Recommendation for beef: ask for the 'club steak' or 'short rib'...
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To be fair, a career grounded in those rigid IFRS standards and devoid of creativity inevitably molds a certain type of person, nothing short of boring, standard thinking and reasoning, they sound the same, somehow their profession becomes their personalities
insufferable!
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Hi folks can you assist me with this 'market research' assignment...its almost due
Which one would you choose?
Your participation in this study is highly appreciated 🙏🏽
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But honestly, can you really expect someone who just got dusted in court by their fellow "learned friend" to show up for date night?
They're probably still reeling from the verbal moering! until the defendant iphakamise isandla icele uzithethela 😭.
A date not on the cards
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@Sibandakd
@enhlembali
Your advise is sound for a Mbali who dates a deadbeat Sipho wakoMarabastaad.
We are talking about a USD millionaire here. Im not in anyway insinuating that she is after the money, but she must make sure her kids gets all the benefits of having a wealthy dad.
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@RethaNtshinga
@CapitecBankSA
nvm my mtn airtime debt, could you please assist with 20000 years Bond? I will pay additional R50 pm to reduce the loan term
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@AfricaFactsZone
I went to UCT, University of the Western Cape, and Currently in Stellenbosch Uni.
All I can tell you, we benefit a great deal from Zimbabwean and Nigerian intelligentsia.
Its Black academics from Zim&Naija who are supervising our thesis dessertations.
Thanks Zim and Naija
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@StevenMacatsha
@kanya_kb
I'd take my chances to elect her, I mean what difference does it make? Let's get those free millions, at least we will be happy and will deal with hyper inflation later when we return from Monaco. If uyasala its your choice.
Viva Mamkhize,viva "Mha sengifuna ukuba wuMinister"
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Your R50 contributions... 🤌🏾
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even SAICA charges them a fee, so they can organise 'networking evenings' (code name for speed dating) with cocktails...
You know what accounts do? they actually attend to, yes suprise suprise, to network professionally!
😭😭😭
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folks dive in American legal drama series, mh the Lincoln Lawyer, Suits, that Viola Davis shandis how to get away with murder etc. Only to appear for Maduna for stealing oranges (their joke)
this is to say they are inherently delulu...no dating skills whatsoever, none!
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@GaytonMcK
This is a wake up call for the kalid community in Capetown... I know some hate the term 'colored' but fact remains they need to rally behind their own to solve their problems.
They must vote for Gayton.
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@Khanyiithyst
Today you will understand that South Africans do not speak 'sarcasm'
This will fly over people's head, and they will think you really do not know the real Dr Cooper
😭
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I am buying a jersey for u boy, and I like the all but cant buy them all khanindikhethise please...🤦🏽♂️❤️
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Intlabi yamaGubevu...
ihlala ibacinge abasisi abathe ndlundlu, abaqolileyo abadlala uTwitter, gxebe uX...❤️
Nazo iikhadi boongxingxi, ukholiwe nini uNokhala
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Yeses eKapa, xa uyi host having paid for everything! , uthi usaphaka
Amajita emane echwechwa "Jonga Maduna ndishiye usisi pha kum maan ndicela umfakele ecaleni..."
Yazi iyaxoka izo breakfasta ngako
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Mna ndiyi plug, Ndizoni organizela a group tour to Franschoek maKapa again...
This was the previous one... if useKapa and you wanna make isangqa sakho bigger ufuna ne wine plug...ndazise singakushiyi next time... see more below
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proper cuts...I do not want people to say i wanna buy a yacht with their R50 braai contributions...
As I continue to deliver in favour of the dejected and disenfranchised masses WMC stuff. ✊🏿
Happy Sunday
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CPT
-6 April
-R350 gets you;
-4 hours of bottomless vintage wine 🍷🍾
-a Braai buffet 🔥🥩
Yes we know its too good to be true 😅
11 spots left 👥
WhatsApp 0633-855-218 to book your spot
EL, JHB you are next follow
@iSelwa_Wine
for announcements
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🩵
Hello fathers can I see your picture with baby girl/ baby boy… 💙
Dad come this side💙
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I get a report esuka kwaMakhulu wayo le
Kuthiwa xakuqala uMkhokha iba over excited
1year, 2 months 😂
🤦🏽♂️
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