Where are my friends? Where, for that matter, are my enemies?

RT @CCGroyp: @adventis_mortis @SATGroyp Benadryl? Is she gooning to shlomo list while tripping with the hat man? That's something else ngl

BREAKING: Woman accuses Medgold (pictured) of giving her the blue waffle

@CrazedFloridian "Yes. Heil the Night Haunter."

RT @96yottea:

RT @KikeGasser1488: I'm like Dexter, but instead of being a blood spatter analysis: I work at McDonald's. Instead of killing, I tell tr@ηηi…

RT @HitlersDickVein: “AAAAAHHH! A SPIDER!” “AAAAAHHHHH!!! A HAWK!!!” “AAAAHHHHH!!! A HUMAN!!!!” “Mmmmmm… dinner….”

"Man-made horrors beyond comprehension" but it's neither man-made, nor scary, and is definitely very simple to understand

@GoodyPango Construction site gremlin

I literally look exactly like this except with thinner eyebrows and no mustache

RT @RomanianHaiduc: No, this is the "real" Dracula's castle, located in Argeș, Wallachia.

@c0pelow The fuck are those boots man

RT @TonySneedprano: svetlana sunday

@YurieAkko @moepet A friend of mine gifted him, I let him out to act as guard dog in exchange for a cut of the product

New type of bait is, apparently, simply pretending you've fallen for bait yourself. Nobody will ever be able to know the difference, but you'll feel entertained instead of retarded

ACCELERATE

RT @acolyteAdored: Wacky authentic localism, "Keep Austin Weird"-core garbage.

I remember I was talking to this tall and frumpy looking classmate of mine, and I looked down for some reason only to see that her FEET were hairy like come on niggеr

RT @rapestare: She was asking for it, she showed me the rosy undersides of her bare pale feet. Everybody knows what that means, your honor.

@realytiny You're also named Miladin and you're a pig farmer from Mramorak

@Ianuspater Would