Trick Astley
@surrealwhore
Followers
8,906
Following
980
Media
4,804
Statuses
30,039
professional sex scribe. amateur demonologist. published in business outsider. they/them
The Inferno
Joined March 2018
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
SEVENTEEN
• 1535141 Tweets
Hanni
• 169941 Tweets
無料クーポン
• 161105 Tweets
Jets
• 121704 Tweets
連休明け
• 93538 Tweets
Carat
• 87635 Tweets
DG X ORM KORNNAPHAT
• 77901 Tweets
अब्दुल कलाम
• 60452 Tweets
पूर्व राष्ट्रपति
• 42349 Tweets
भारत रत्न
• 32619 Tweets
FELIP TAKES ON BBPHSTAGE
• 24619 Tweets
JC BBPH MAINSTAGE
• 23908 Tweets
The Next Prince Q9
• 23618 Tweets
ミンギュ
• 17872 Tweets
金木犀の香り
• 15582 Tweets
バーニス
• 14943 Tweets
मुस्लिम एरिया
• 13980 Tweets
うさぎだらけくじ
• 12881 Tweets
ITZY WORLD IS STILL DIFFERENT
• 11960 Tweets
ジョシュア
• 11896 Tweets
スングァン
• 11446 Tweets
エスクプス
• 11017 Tweets
ドギョム
• 10178 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
I was looking down at my client's face thinking, the world would be a better place without him. And then he said "can you put your hands around my throat and choke me". I was like, don't tempt me, Matthew
17
30
434
Clients are like, "what kind of porn do you watch" and i'm like, uh... the only porn i ever see is whatever randomly comes up on my twitter feed but I don't even process it as sexual, i'm just like oh that's my friend and she did a nice job on the color scheme
37
256
2K
Dating civs as a SW sucks because you work so hard catering to clients and then come home to a person who's jealous of those clients/ thinks they deserve to cheat on you because they can't understand it's a job. I'm too tired to try it again.
46
80
818
Clients are like: I'm not in your city but if I were I'd book you just to have a drink & I'd tip double your rate!! Just bc I respect you so much!! But I'm not in ur city so I'll just keep consuming your content for free til the day I die & pretend your cashapp isn't in your bio
17
68
591
It makes me so mad to see how many SWs have insecure, jealous partners who try to tear them down. We put up with so much already to survive in this world. We are some of the most brilliant, resilient, innovative, hilarious people around. We deserve nothing short of REVERENCE.
19
109
580
Never sabotage your whore career for love unless they show their love with enough $$ that you never have to work again. Love is fleeting. Whoring is forever. Rebuilding from the ground up. 🛠
19
83
469
1st year in SW: wow this guy is obsessed w/ me, I'm amazing at my job & i'm going to make $$$
10th year in SW: oh look another infatuated client, i'd better rinse him while I can bc his feelings have nothing to do w/ me & sooner or later he'll move onto the next new girl on er*s
13
39
420
It has come to my attention that my clients would prefer lower prices. In order to better meet their needs, I am now offering free services to make sure I'm not excluding anyone! This is going to go extremely well 🥰
43
31
403
Yet another married man complaining that his wife, who has a full-time job on top of raising three young children, isn't enthusiastic about exploring complicated new methods of getting him off.
19
21
386
First rule of b*lists is we don't tell clients they are on them! Second rule is we don't write the names of b*list sites on social media or anywhere clients might see.
10
40
364
It's such a turn off when clients go on about $. "How much for --? It's -- per hour? Can we just do -- instead? What's the shortest we can do?" If money is such an issue, maybe get a cheaper hobby? Or at least look at my ad to decide what's in your budget with dignity
18
45
366
Client: You haven't answered my messages for a week, everything ok?
Me: Sorry, I've just been stressed with the pandemic.
Client: Let me know if there's any way I can help!
Me: Aw thanks so much, my cashapp is --
Client: Oh I just meant you can always call me if you want to talk
18
34
343
Clients will go on and on about wanting a ~genuine connection~ and demand more and more of your emotional labor to reassure them that you really care, and then one day they'll ghost you without a thought
13
35
365
@PissJugTycoon
One time I was trying to get home from the airport in the dead of night. I had to take a bus and transfer to the subway somewhere in Queens, but the turnstile was broken & door propped open, I assumed on purpose. Walked through and two cops were lurking in the dark waiting for me
5
7
346
men will approach civ women like they met on an ad site and approach sex workers like they met on a civ dating site
12
75
359
Client resurfacing after a year: Hi there, I'm so sorry I've been out of touch-- I haven't had time to session as I was dealing with a family emergency and had bad allergies and then was cursed by a witch for the rest of the year, but I'd love to see you next week if possible!
13
27
350
Oh, your client gave you 42k? How cute, that reminds me of the time a client surprised me with a cake made of 150k 🥰 I love when my suitors are creative!!
19
9
351
client: so is this your job or is it more of a hobby?
hobbies are knitting and building model railroads, not being a whore, timothy
13
42
341
Client: I'd like to buy you a gift for your birthday!
Me: Aww thanks so much, I added some things to my wishlist...
Client: Oh that feels too impersonal, I want to get you something unique
Me: That's sweet but--
Client: *brings ugly lingerie in the wrong size with no receipt*
18
16
323
Client: I hope you enjoy our time together as much as I do...
Me: Yes, I do!
Client: ...because it's important to me that you like it...
Me: mmhm
Client: What was your favorite part of today?
Me: umm... it's hard to decide
Client: What are your 3 favorite things about me??
36
9
314
Boring person at party: Ooh so you're an artist? But do you make money doing that, is that how you pay the bills?
No Susan, I pay the bills by sitting on your husband's face, but I didn't think that was polite to say at a party so I lied
7
21
309
phone sex clients are so uniquely bizarre. this guy just called to tell me he's a very normal man who doesn't need to pay women to talk to him. i barely got a word in the entire time. the call lasted over an hour.
13
16
305
Client: I know I'm different than your other clients
Me: *half listening* mmhm
Client: and I think you know what I'm thinking
Me: mmhm
Client: *gazes meaningfully into my eyes* this could be dangerous...for both of us
Me: huh?
Client: it's a big step, but I'm considering divorce
19
13
290
Now clients have incalls, cancellation fees, blogs, and I s2g I even saw a trick who has his own website. They are so jealous of us i can't 😭😭😭
31
13
278
Me: [climbing on top] *don't mention roe v wade don't mention roe v wade*
Client: [inside me] I know it's been a hard few days for women so I want to make it feel good for you!
Me: 😵
40
2
281
Client: *jabbing fruitlessly at my labia* mmm let me know when you're close
Me: ...I...will
Client: What's the most orgasms you've ever had?
Me: Idk
Client: I want to break your record...
Me: uh huh
Client: I bet you can have at least 20 today!
Me: 😱😱😱
16
10
280
Cheating married men love to pretend like they are princesses trapped in a tower by a wicked witch😭 oh, I can only meet in secret at a hotel in the late afternoon, because my ex-wife, who still lives with me, will kill me if she finds out!
15
15
274
Client: did you get my texts?? I sent you an article that made me think of you.
Me: yes! Sorry, I don't have time to check my messages every day, I mostly just use this number for booking.
Client: oh ok. what's your main phone number so I can reach you immediately??
28
8
270
- Goddess I want to serve you and do tasks for you.
- What kind of tasks are you skilled at?
- Anal tasks, Goddess.
Anal. Tasks.
I quit.
21
12
258
This is the funniest thing i've read in a while. Steve really thinks hookers are carrying around handwritten records of all our appointments like medieval sex scribes 💋📜
33
11
263
My friend married a wealthy man who doted on her. They lived in a huge, gorgeous apt and she wore designer gowns to charity events. She gave him 4 children. Then she got sick and he was no longer attracted to her. They divorced. He never paid a dime of alimony. She died penniless
21
14
252
My hobby isn't SW, my hobby is making tricks uncomfortable by pretending not to understand what they are hinting at so they have to use their words 😘
13
13
239
@PissJugTycoon
That ride ended up costing me more than the cab I couldn't afford in the first place
0
2
232
@imdatfeminist
When you tell him how much he hurt you & he says he will do x and y to make it better so you desperately believe him, then he just does the same thing again because he only made the promise to make you quiet in the moment. Yet you forgive him & blame yourself for needing too much
8
38
237
Ugh I hate clients who complain about going over their budget like I'm supposed to feel bad. Really not my problem that you, a grown man, can't stop compulsively buying sex.
8
3
227
A client bought an item on my wishlist... for himself. Just when you think you've seen it all.
23
6
226
The snobby restaurant hostess smiled knowingly at me & the octogenarian I was dining with and said "well this looks like a very special date!!" Bitch be silent 😩
11
4
216
What i cherish most about this job is the intellectual conversations and intimate connections i get to cultivate with my suitors 💕
20
24
218
Dear __,
My name is Steve73839. I have been following you on Twitter for years and I think I may be ready to book your shortest appt. I realize what I'm looking for is unusual. You see, unlike the clients you are surely used to, I'm not just looking for an hour of nonstop sex...
27
8
215
I really think I only want to date SWs from now on. No matter how open-minded civs seem they always have negative judgments about SW and it's stressful whether you hide it or disclose right away
11
10
211
Tricks will refuse to send screening info "for security reasons" but then they'll follow you and comment on all your pics on the same social media account where they post pics of their wife and kids 😒
6
13
209
Why tf is it socially acceptable to ask someone you just met how they make money?? Not just a casual "what do you do" but flat out "so you're an artist? Do you have a job? How do you pay the rent?"
23
12
208
Me: *starts fake moaning every 30 seconds as he counts
Client: 18...19...20...
Me: Wow that was intense let's focus on you now
Client: are u sure you can't do more, I once gave a girl 85 orgasms
Me: ... how... nice 😭😭😭
19
5
206
It's wild how clients need their dicks to be touched in exactly the right way, at the right angle, for an agonizingly long time but they expect the person they are paying for that service to spontaneously orgasm 10 times from a few minutes of vague crotch grabbing
10
24
200
This one time during a duo I jerked off the client with a mini hotel bottle of shampoo by mistake thinking it was hand lotion and soap bubbles started floating everywhere. My friend and I were roaring with laughter and the trick looked like he wanted to cry 🥰
21
6
197
Subject: Enquiry from Tryst
Content: Hi, my name is John, I'm looking for literally everything you don't offer. Here's my number so you can call me and chat for free, but it's a burner so you can't screen me. If you bend over backward for me I'll become a regular.
9
19
198
I cannot believe my job requires me to say "Good evening" to a man named FullBalls87
7
20
183
Clients say they want to know all my wildest fantasies, but all my wildest fantasies are of revenge
12
36
192
Remembering the time I was so annoyed by my regular, Paul the Pussyeater, that I just lay there silently for half an hour while he tried all his favorite moves 💀 he was beside himself
14
10
195
God bless ignore fetishists. I forgot to reply to this guy and now he's sending $ saying it's so hot that I don't acknowledge him 🥰
9
6
190
Client: hi let's talk about my fetish
Me: I had a long day, i just need to relax now
Client: maybe talking about my fetish would be relaxing
9
14
195
I'm not like other hookers with their fancy elephant photoshoots
I'm an approachable girl next door
That's why I'm doing my next photoshoot with a sewer rat
18
11
189
I'm not a sex worker, I'm a... [pick one word from image 1 or 2 and one from 3 or 4, bonus points for alliteration]
95
32
188
The idea that women go on dates with men just for a free meal is wild. It's hard enough to tolerate a paid dinner date with a man 😭
13
23
186
A SW writes a post about an upsetting experience with a client.
Reply guy: you should give him another chance
High-end escort: it's your fault for not screening
Castration reply guy: I completely agree Miss, that is why all inferior males deserve to be slowly castrated
7
22
189
I'm a sapiosexual and noted respecter of women. I want to get to know the real you and make you feel loved. Otherwise I just wouldn't feel right about this. So, how shall we proceed? Do you offer a sapiosexual discount? Shall we just skip payment altogether and go on a date? Lmk!
10
5
185
Telling civilians about your work can feel like a relief... until the moment you have an argument and they immediately use it against you in the most hurtful way like a weapon they've been saving.
13
20
189
I could never trust a man. It's the same with clients. They shower you with money and affection until they find out you're a human being with physical and emotional needs. Then the promises of forever evaporate as they replace you with a fresher, younger model.
3
7
181
When he hides the money in a mouse trap 🥰 so cute and creative!
11
5
189
Tbh I love the whole niteflirt experience from the 90s aesthetic to the clunky website to the elevator music to the way the recorded operator sounds a little bit sluttier when she says "please hold while we ask your customer if they want to pay your rate 😉"
17
11
179
Rich old men are like, "oh where do you live? That must be very far out. I don't know how you manage to survive. You should just get a job operating telegraphs, then you could save enough to buy an apartment in the city. More champagne?"
9
12
177
I'm sorry, who is in danger here?? The poor little gentlemen who bravely pay for pussy??
18
6
180
In person sex work sucks because tricks think they are entitled to your time for free after they spent a few hundred $ on a session
Online sw sucks because tricks think they are entitled to your time for free after they spent $5 on a chat
1
27
175
This is the most perverse thing I've seen on here and I fist 60-year-old men for a living
15
5
180
clients describing their fantasies is analogous to children showing you their drawings in that you aren't quite sure what's being depicted but you have to pretend that you do, so you have to very gently say how much you like it and ask them to tell you more
6
19
178
In my day we posted an ad on backpage with a few grainy mirror selfies in a mismatched Victoria's Secret set and the tricks were grateful for it! We weren't renting bears!
11
17
177
Client Story Translator
Friend = Girlfriend
Roommate = Wife
Ex-wife = Wife he hates
A good friend of mine = Ex he's not over/ friend he wants to fuck
Girlfriend = sugar baby
Hookup = paid sex
8
15
176
People are so obsessed with finding out if you have a job and what it is. Just standing there awkwardly while someone goes on about their friend who appears not to have a job and how they resent them bc they must come from money. I'm like... 😬 some people are criminals, margaret
8
11
176
He said the normal paper envelopes from the bank made it feel too transactional.
Honey, whatever makes you comfortable.
11
7
180
Behind every straight male escort are a thousand actual whores rolling their eyes
20
8
170
Deep thoughts from Peter. It hasn't even occurred to him that maybe sex workers don't celebrate the anniversary of yet another married guy paying them for sex
26
7
170
Hi I know this is an unusual request
But I'm a student writing a paper about sex work
And I wondered if you'd answer some incriminating questions
For no compensation
If you won't do it can you find me another hooker who will
Thanks
10
9
164
Clients are not our friends. Especially clients who make a big deal about wanting to be our friends.
9
17
161
"What are your limits??"
A lot of things, Brad, do u really expect me to list off like five things I won't do and everything else is fair game?? If you're scared to ask, the answer is probably NO😡
7
18
171
Client: Hi hello I would like to exchange money for sex pls. Here is a list of all the illegal activities I would like you to engage in for cash. I want an outcall to my home while my wife is out shopping, what could go wrong. Oh no I can't screen, I need to be ~very discreet~
11
21
166
the way clients try to pass their wives off as "friends" when they're talking about vacations or dinner plans cracks me up, but i just had a guy claim that he had to take our nf call silently with headphones because "my friend is asleep next to me." I-- 💀
7
4
165
getting paid for men to lie to you > getting lied to for free
8
41
166
Finally reading SP's list of forbidden activities and it's literally everything clients want on there. No forced bi? No mindfuck? No sissy blackmail? Wtf are we supposed to do on there, exchange recipes for oatmeal cookies?
33
12
161
I always think that SWs have the weirdest customers, but I was just at the bank and the guy in front of me steps up to the teller, starts yelling "I don't want this!" and dramatically throws a stack of fifties at the window. Then storms out the door while she protests
7
11
161
When your client says "this hour is all about *your* pleasure!"
18
2
161
Telling all my clients I'm thinking of them bc I got my bill from the vet today 😭
10
6
163
Time and again I panic over the instability of this work and think about going back to school to get on track for a nice respectable civ career. But whenever I have a crisis and need to make $ fast, it's SW that saves me every time. It gives me the most stability I've ever known.
21
13
161
Tricks: according to my calculations you must be making over a million dollars per year seeing 10 clients per day 7 days a week year round!!
Also tricks: hi this is Tim, I saw you for an hour in 2016 and I'm fully convinced you remember everything about me
2
20
159
client last night: hey u avail right now?
me: sorry, i need more notice, would you like to book for tomorrow?
client: oh no, i can only do tonight :(
me: ok, hope to see you another time then
the same client tonight: hi are u avail now?
18
8
155
I have to laugh when clients fantasize about involving my civ friends in their fetish bc my civ friends are all asexual manhaters like me, but unlike me it isn't their job to pretend otherwise
5
3
165
Clients are like, are you really into the random fantasy I'm paying you to perform with me, a stranger? You can tell me the truth, you don't need to lie!
9
16
159
Fantasizing...
What if you had two blacklisted would-be clients trying to book on the same night. One wants an outcall and the other wants incall.
You send the incall guy to the outcall's address.
Hilarity ensues.
10
4
156
Love to ruin my sw brand by falling in love with a civilian for the first time in like a decade such that I've kept my bookings to the bare minimum & alienated all my regs with new boundaries honoring my relationship only to be introduced to their coworkers as "a friend". 🗡🗡🗡
28
0
154