Most arguments end up exhausting people because they think they need to fight harder to convince the other.
But what if I told you there was a better way to get your point across?
In my latest newsletter, I reveal a unique way for turning conflict into connection 👇
I've come to believe that people who come from nothing are usually the ones who go the farthest in life.
Growth is fueled by adversity and paralysed by comfort.
So much of my life started changing when I became aware of my own patterns instead of wondering why things weren't working out in my favour.
Self-awareness is your biggest ally.
The only formula to growth:
"Being more comfortable in being uncomfortable"
Some profound wisdom form this young entrepreneur
@NitiSarran
who shared insights from her journey on building her business early on and adopting a winner's attitude in life.
Loved this conversation
@jakobwhte
I'm a sucker for having interesting conversations with inspiring people..
reason why I started my podcast.
When I'm not doing that, I'm helping people navigate through conflict and maintaining their sanity while they're at it..
On a mission to level up people's EQ.
How to be 'Buddha like' when someone's being unkind to you:
Realise that their behaviour has got everything to do with their own issues and nothing to do with you.
@AmandaMGoetz
As much as your daughter may feel behind the game than her peers, she’s in a way better position to not have phones at this age..
I’d say don’t give in to the peer pressure trap and stick to your rules and values..
she’ll appreciate it, in time!
Feel like we overuse the term 'Toxic people' way too causally.
People aren't toxic.
People are just people, acting out to compensate for their unmet needs.
See them as that and drop the label.
@Theholisticpsyc
Couldn’t agree more.
People like that can just be a ticking time bomb. When we don’t express what we feel, emotions build up..
Implosion is as bad as explosion.
Movement is underrated. Especially in times of stress.
So when you're feeling drained about something or chaotic in the head, get out there.
Go for a walk, dance it out, shake if off.
You can't always think your way outa stress, but you can move your way out of it.
Here's what most of us miss about why our goals never make it to the finish line....
@IAmClintMurphy
drops this truth bomb along with many other nuggets through the episode
Had an absolute blast talking to him💫
So much to learn and implement from this conversation, go tune in
You can't say you're spiritual if you don't fully understand that every obstacle or adversity you face is simply a test for you to evolve to the next level.
When you have a job you cant wait to get out
When you’re an entrepreneur you wish you had more job- like stability
When you’re single, you long to be married
When you’re married you wish you had more time being single
When will we humans learn to be happy with, what is!
3 years ago I was:
-Lost
-Clueless
-With no belief in myself or a clue about my dreams.
Today I have:
-A podcast where I connect with inspiring people globally
-A blog that stimulates better thinking
-A north star that's committed to service and impact
Here’s what changed:
Don't know who needs to hear this but..
If I can go from having absolutely paralysing stage fright to hosting a podcast and facilitating workshops, you can do anything you want too!
Just take a bet on yourself.
If you're not self aware...
You're going to fall in the same thought loops with the same repeating patterns and the same destructive behaviours, blaming everything and everyone else around you.
Staying healthy isn’t just about eating the right diets.
-Have that difficult conversation
-Tame your judgements
-Release your resentments
-Let go and forgive
Implosion is as bad as explosion.
5 signs that there's inner work to do:
-Being super opinionated
-Getting easily triggered
-Projecting flaws on to others
-Lashing out
-Feeling emotionally dependent on others
There's a better way to live life and it starts with emotional awareness.
3 self-reflective questions to catch any blind spots in your thinking:
-What feedback do I get repeatedly?
-What kind of people do I keep attracting?
-What belief of mine might be keeping me stuck?
Remember, the journey of all change begins with awareness.
Most people stay stuck in conflict not knowing a way out of it.
But life is better without the drama.
Here are 5 ways to navigate through conflict, peacefully:
It's frustrating when people don't acknowledge something you do for them.
It's easy to judge and resent them.
It's transformational to sit with those feelings and understand what's at the root so you can reframe them.
Okay great, so I've woken up early...
Had my morning dose of tea.
Phone is off.
Focus music is on.
Ready to start writing away.....
Easy Peasy..
Now wtf do I do with my invasive thoughts?
Emotions are not your enemy, they can be your biggest asset if you learn to read the signs.
Jealousy: What am I longing for that am seeing in another?
Anger: What need of mine is not being met?
Frustration: What can I improve about this situation?
Don't fight the info, use it.
True freedom isn't just about working out of an island sipping Pina coladas all day.
It's about:
Having a clear mind
Being free of biases
Expressing yourself confidently
Having free flowing conversations
Happier relationships
Internal freedom > anything you seek outside
Harsh truth:
We all have an inflated sense of self.
Which is why accepting feedback can be hard and triggers us.
But rather than react and get in attack mode, it's worth asking:
What would rejecting this feedback now cost my future self?
You can have that fancy office with that sleek title.
But if you don't have permission to express yourself freely, you might as well be trapped in a cage.
A fish in a fish bowl doesn’t know that an entire world exists outside of it..
It’s the only world it knows.
We're capable of falling in the same trap.
When we follow beliefs blindly and live in ignorace....
We become the fish.
Recently been reminded that everything in our lives is guided by the language that we use.
Words have power.
Am gonna stop using words that don't serve.
You coming with?
The goal isn't to prove that you're right and they're wrong.
The goal is to realise that everyone is right about something and learn from each perspective.
Learnt this the hard way:
If you're constantly consuming without taking pauses to reflect, introspect and integrate you're not really learning.
You're just 'overwhelming'.
I see creators who aren't half as fluent, don't have the best camera gear or mike and yet have built a large audience in a short span of time.
Meanwhile I was sitting and waiting for the perfect time to start.
Self-doubt can be your biggest enemy.
Im pretty conscious with what I put in my body and recently someone complimented me for how much I love myself.
At first I didn't quite get the link.
But its true...
How you look after yourself is a direct sign of self-love.
Changing your vibe with someone starts with dropping your judgement towards them.
If you're constantly convincing yourself of how self-absorbed or uncaring they are, that's what you'll get.
Switch up your thoughts and you might just see them through a new lens.
Keeping my word has got to be one of my highest values.
If I tell someone I'll show up, I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen.
Sure I've felt conflicted and compromised my energy at times
But it's all worth it coz trust is built with the seemingly insignificant things.
Put a bunch of geniuses together and the team can still fall to pieces if they don't know how to wok with each other.
Businesses will save a shit ton of time and money when they realise:
EQ> IQ
I used to be terrified of confrontation.
I'd do anything to avoid it, even lost some friends along the way.
Now I can hold space, have difficult conversations and express my authentic voice.
If this is still a struggle for you, I can assure you there's a way out.
It's ironic how assuming responsibility for my feelings in any given equation, put me at more ease than blaming the other for what they were or weren't doing.
True power is taking ownership,
Why don't we do the things we know we should do?
A question that has puzzled humanity since centuries.
Intellectually we may know it all but when it comes to doing, well we know how that goes, don't we.
Here's my take on why change seems so damn hard:
5 signs of insecurity most people miss:
1. Arrogance
2. Possessiveness
3. Being hyper competitive
4. Judging and shaming others
5. Perfectionism
Which of these surprised you?
Felt like giving up while doing squats this morn
Scorching heat & lethargy..
Just as I was contemplating on my last few reps, it hit me:
I wouldn’t even be here had my mum not pushed through her pain and resistance
Resilience is in our DNA
Don’t let yourself think otherwise.
I have a hypothesis:
There is a direct correlation between living with resentment and a lack of success.
Focusing on achieving big goals is great but clearing heavy energy will open up space for attracting all that we desire.
So many of us avoid confrontation coz we play out the worst case scenarios in our head.
I know Ive been there.
But we never have control over how someone responds.
The only thing we can control is how we show up.
Express your truth, that is all you can do
And its worth it.
My heart went out to the airline check in lady who lost her brother in an accident 2 weeks ago.
"Life is a test" she said, "we need to keep going"
I looked her in the eyes and said "you're a superwoman".
She held my hand, thanking me.
Empathy dissolves all barriers.
Social media tricks us into judging people's significance based on their follower count.
Screw that.
Let the metrics be in the background.
Human always first.
What people think vulnerability is:
Broadcasting to strangers on social media...
What vulnerability really is:
Stepping into that difficult conversation
Owning up to your mistakes
Expressing your feelings and asking for what you need.
That's where real courage lies.
I can no longer keep a track of the number of people who continue to stay stuck in conflict because of no other reason but their absolute lack of emotional intelligence.
Conflict doesn't arise from differences in beliefs, but our attachment to them.
When you lean in with curiosity and listen to perspectives with an open mind, you allow perfectly rational conversations.
@Theholisticpsyc
I know of men who are super stoic and I can tell you it comes at a heavy cost....
Feelings are suppressed, emotions are numbed out- all to put up a brave front and show it like they have it all together, when they dont.
Inside they're seething and imploding.
Knowing how to
Was at an open singing night in Bali.
The band invited someone from the audience to come and do a song.
Fear crept it...
My nerves told me not to go up.
And so I did.
The End.
Emotional awareness is key for thriving in life.
But no one ever taught us this skill
So I thought I'd change that & put together an emotional mastery toolkit.
Reply to this tweet with 'EQ mastery' and it's yours
Watch out for some life changing stuff landing in your DM's 👀