water baby
@stopolive
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Patron Saint of Weird Hoes IG: @polygamy
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Pinned Tweet
my show last weekend ay Mercury Lounge! Even with the mic off of me, I’m loud as FUCK 😭
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we are like... two trend cycles away from the thigh gap tumblr posts
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me every time i get a lil tipsy when im wearing a tube top
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imagine coming home after a long day of work to your son and his 6 bird chested ass friends poppin their pussies on your ottoman and in your mirrors. AND THE MEAT STILL IN THE FREEZER!
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if you’re in a:
CVS
Walmart
Target
J.c. penney’s
Walgreens
Duane Reade
Safeway
Whole Foods
Wegmans
Kroger
Publix
Piggly Wiggly
or a Giants,
steal something right now. just throw somethin in your pocket. do it.
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Mulan father really thought he was boutta go out there and do something lmaoooo sit them rickety bones down
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Ari sounds like your favorite auntie who tries to act like she’s not overwhelmed when you tell her shit you can’t tell your mama
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nobody will convince me that this isn’t a song where jill scott is settin a nigga to get jumped and robbed at the park
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good morning class. today i will begin my lecture by explaining how Uncle Bobby from Proud Family and Dr. Facilier from Princess and the Frog are the same man cosplaying Prince in two different phases
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niggas be like “why don’t u wanna sleepover” bitch bc i be fartin!!! i wanna sleep in my own bed where i can let that thang go off have it sound like mambo no. 5 in that bitch
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BREAKING: Rapper formerly known as ‘Mulatto’ has changed her name to “Hi-Yella HalfBri’d”
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that’s why that bitch was throwin in “i began to wonder…” in every sentence. just runnin the check up
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“Thank you for coming in to interview with us. Unfortunately, we—“
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Justin Bieber and Chance the Rapper in talks to start a new television series, “America’s Next Best Youth Pastor”
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i need him so mf bad i been saying this for years but i need him now
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wish straight girl rappers stopped talkin bout “imma steal ur man” listen niece these niggas is yugioh cards. u wann hurt me? brag about stealing my best friend and makin handshakes and inside jokes i don’t get
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detox diets aren’t real. your body can filter out the toxins from the foods you eat just fine. juicing and all those super strict detox meal plans are expensive ways to get people to subscribe to disordered eating. be gentle and realistic with yourself next year.
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ok
did solange ever say how she got rid of them damn cranes in the sky??
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the mc flurry machine working for y'all is white privilege on god
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me: *maybe eats once a day, drinks/eats food terrible for my system, sleeps 4 hours a night*
my body: *gets sick*
me: that goddamn mercury retrograde
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what the fuck do y’all be TALKIN about
leftist bf: we live in a society
feral gf: (foaming at the mouth) you must solve my riddles three if boobs it is you wish to see
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i predict in the next couple years, they gon bring back the “meanest bitch in middle school” haircut
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me to my skin: when you gon stop breaking out?
my skin to me: when you gon stop eating out?
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y’all be like “would y’all let the big latino dragon nigga from dragontales pipe???”
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I just flexed my voice acting skills in clubhouse, so here’s a tiktok “reel”. DM for more type beat
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you could literally colorize and photoshop any European leader from the late 1800s onto David Guerra’s body and I’d be like “...checks out.” like i deadass thought this was Rasputin
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hello, white people, i have a serious question:
are y’all allergic to saying excuse me?
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also if you don’t know anyone incarcerated personally, you can find people on writeaprisoner, get their inmate number, then go to jpay or their facility’s payment website (quick google search) and send them commissary there!
if yall really bout this juneteenth shit, log onto jailatm and send three black prisoners commissary
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a couple years back at an erykah badu arena show, a girl passed out. erykah had EVERYONE stop and wait till she had assistance. there’s no excuse for a performer to keep things going when people are in danger. that’s your actual fan base dying in front of you.
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THIS JUST IN: Jennifer Lopez finally quits music; tells sources she “can’t believe niggas [sic] lied and told her she could sing all these years”
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yes i did all that work for a tiktok. i needed to see this idea to the end.
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I don’t know, Chancellor, you tell me.
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i’m very upset thinking about how sundown towns STILL exist and bitches have the gall to say we need to stop being divisive and spread love.
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gaga being like “im a little italian girl who ran barefoot around the streets of new york begging for a chance to be somebody” when she went to private school w the hiltons is her best piece of performance art tbh
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the article says that if you’re of european descent (direct ancestors, eg. over 60%) you have an enzyme that lines your gastrointestinal system with a mucus that can ingest approximately a shotglass worth of bleach. so it DOES help, but not for everyone.
DO NOT DRINK BLEACH. Drinking bleach will not cure the coronavirus
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Harry Styles says he has “no idea who that is” after learning about Noah Cyrus’ “nappy ass heauxz” comment. Styles is quoted saying: “I thought she was accusing me of wearing a diaper.”
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white girl who does stand up comedy: my PUSSY STINK! I BE FARTIN ON MY BOYFRIEND!! PEEEEENIIIIIISSSSS!
hollywood’s dumb ass: let’s get this girl TWO TELEVISION SHOWS, A MOVIE DEAL AND A MARIE CLAIRE COVER!
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idk who keeps reviving Napoleon Bonaparte’s war horse and enchanting it so it can make statements like this, but we need to stop them from using their powers for bad
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I keep thinking this is Blanket Jackson
I watched Self Reliance on hulu last night. And i enjoyed it! but I was obviously unable to sleep because I kept imagining this guy standing over me whenever i closed my eyes
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got the nerve to say u wanna nut in somebody. better shoot that biohazardous waste semen into a duracell!
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if u white n u got juneteenth off, go mow ur black neighbors’ yard or do they dishes or something
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NIGGAS IS COSPLAYIN SISQÓ! I REPEAT NIGGAS IS COSPLAYIN SISQÓ THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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i hate when white people try to be quirky bitch like niggas are dying can y’all sit in your discomfort for one second in your miserable ugly talentless underwhelmingly bland lives?
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the woman who birthed them all
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@MikeMatson67
@dvnichvnte
@JessieMinx
Thank you for your input Mike Matson the Canadian school bus driver
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chowder was Black. mung was an old Trini uncle. truffles is Creole Black, hence the light skin. Panini is Puerto Rican/Afro-Latina.
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y’all white president texting me is the worst thing to ever happen to my iphone since that U2 album
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i stand by the belief that kelly clarkson would be the nicest golden corral waitress who give you extra rolls every time she come past
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i wish y’all would let me die in PEACE
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parents when you come to them as an adult to discuss childhood trauma
jonathan frakes telling you you're wrong for 47 seconds
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if ur like “omg yas” about this imma bully u
follow me on ig @ polygamy since y’all wanna be in my business
if u purposely not practicing social distancing before corona’s over i hope u get jumped by niggas wearing hazmat suits
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every time i see that quote i be doing the math in my head… like so what am i? nigggr ²?
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realizing the person u tried to cultivate a beautiful loving transformative dynamic with is not worth it and will never be
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i have a feeling usher’s gonna fall at the super bowl and then spin on the floor like he meant to. idk why
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asian, african, latino, even certain european cultures ALLLLLLL got dishes with the blessed oil.
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Jane Lynch, famous for leading role in TV series “Glee”, has released a public statement: “Tell these niggas to stop using my picture.”
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u gotta take it off then go till it dies every five minutes. like microdosing a nut
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beyonce: *smokes a blunt while watching drumline*
beyonce: ..........
beyonce: .........
beyonce: lmao oh shit
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the most fucked up thing is
i feel like if i asked her what got rid of the cranes, she would just look at me and smile like this
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if you see these pants at a party, ain’t nobody there of the legal drinking age.
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as a kid seeing these that’s all i could think about bc aint no way yall thought this was hot
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if u ever ate at the checkers on myrtle broadway, the vaccine ain’t gon work on u.
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ok. i am literally asking for clarification. i am not tryna be rude or disagree with the tweet. i am one million percent asking because i want to know. are these two the hot people that think they can do stuff?
the WeWork documentary is a sobering examination of what happens when you let hot people think they can do stuff
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straight people calling their significant others their partner is cultural appropriation pass it on
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i hate white niggas that try to be "badass"
this man was telling me something and i couldn't hear so i said "huh" he gon say some "u heard me"
bitch this aint breakin bad ill smack tf outta u lmao
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it’s just spelled in australian don’t worry
I used to laugh at jokes with setups and punchlines but now it’s just stuff like this
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this what mine says
Anyone every wonder what the braille on your areola says?
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u pulled a nigga i was talkin to for a few wks? whatever, charge it
u pick my bff of over 10yrs next hair color out??? fight me
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glad to know it’s a sickness
An Ancient Virus May Be Responsible for Human Consciousness
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i’ve had a folder saved of pics of tina for years because she was so inspiring and radiant. what a beauty 🤍🕊️
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for a great low rate you can get online, go to the general and save some TIME!
me:
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