Steve Smith
@steve__smith__
Followers
13,030
Following
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Media
10,689
Statuses
138,232
Digital media, content, general nonsense, things of that nature. Words here and there, occasionally for @ESPNAusNZ
Australia
Joined October 2010
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Hi mate. Welcome aboard. Let me show you where they keep the booze. You’ll need it.
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I don’t care what kind of dad you were. What kind of community member you were. Whether you could play a sport. The nanosecond you decide to torch your kids and their mum you lose any relevance and legacy. Won’t even bother mentioning a name. An unperson.
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Fucking hell that’s absolutely shocking news to wake up to. Vale Shane Warne 😔😔😔
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To be fair, we see our prime minister roughly once a month too
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killing coronavirus with nuclear levels of vegemite might be our only hope
Thanks to the Helpers. Let’s take care of ourselves and each other. Hanx
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Yeah you’re cool but you’ll never be as cool as Imran playing Shield cricket in a Fred Perry tennis shirt.
🇵🇰 On this day in 1992, Pakistan skipper Imran Khan retired from Test cricket.
His decorated Test career saw him finish with 3807 runs and 362 wickets 👏
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Brendon McCullum saying he won’t be having a drink with the Australians any time soon. My dude you deliberately ran out a player celebrating his teammate’s hundred. Glass houses, things of that nature
#Ashes
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I JUST GOT CHASED BY A BIG ASS JERMAINE SHEPHERD I THINK MY STOMACH AND HEART STILL OUTSIDE ON THE PORCH😭😭😩
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This is Alex Caruso level catching a body
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Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight?
Dad: *nudging me* should've been you
Me: Not now Dad
Dad: Not asking for a cheating cricket captain, are they?
Me: There’s a medical emergency happening
Dad: Go and see if sandpaper helps.
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Don’t recall anyone complaining here. This entire series has been England complaining about things they’ve previously taken advantage of themselves. Get a grip ffs.
#Ashes
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Mike Breen talking about Scotty Hopson never quitting on his NBA dreams is great. You just never know.
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My Uber driver tonight is a man from Pakistan who arrived here by boat in 2012. I’ve never met someone so grateful to be here. “Australia is the BEST country and Melbourne, I LOVE MELBOURNE! I made the best decision!” He’s positively beaming. Amen my man.
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. 2wd . W . . 3 . W . W . 2 W 1 1lb . W . W . . . . . 1 W . . W 4 . W . 1 W
35 balls. All out for 15. Unreal.
#BBL12
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have a sook
Is there a more unpopular Aus Cricket Captain than woke Pat Cummins?
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brb crying in amazement, we’re in the semi finals of the World Cup 💚💛💚💛
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I love getting fan mail!
#CWC23
#CWC2023Final
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Oh but when I use sandpaper it’s “cheating this” and “ethics that”
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Man out on bail for domestic violence and torture charges against his wife says people should treat inanimate objects better. Get in the bin.
"The trophy for which all the teams in the world fight, the trophy which you want to lift over your head, keeping a foot on that trophy did not make me happy."
Mohammed Shami has spoken out over Mitchell Marsh's World Cup trophy celebration.
READ 👇
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Ah this is unfortunate. I see you’ve mistaken me for the cricketer. Pretty embarrassing for you champion
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The way he looks at the pitch like he didn’t fall for the dumbest trap imaginable. It’s never his own mistake.
#AUSvPAK
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Look at this absolute KING. Give him the keys to every city
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That’s right, no team has ever done this before in the history of Test cricket. Revolutionary stuff
#Ashes
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This is utterly insane behaviour from Tom Curran. Lucky to only get four matches if we’re being honest. Why one commentator is trying to defend it is baffling.
The vision everyone's been waiting for.
This is the series of events that's led to Tom Curran's four-game suspension...
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And if you’re an editor at any media outlet, think long and hard about how you frame this. No-one cares for quotes about how “he really loved those kids” because no, he freaking didn’t.
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“Vaccinated Aussie dies” she actually died from something she wasn’t vaccinated for. More irresponsible clickbaiting from a deeply unserious news organisation.
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Indian cricket twitter still sends me threats about this one
fuck most liked tweet what was your most hated tweet. a tweet that ppl bothered u about for DAYS & sent u threats over. i probably have like 30
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“Put them out on penalties”
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Hi I’m Steve and I’m an absolute disgrace and I should never ever captain my country ever again.
Introduce yourself with the wildest feedback you’ve ever received.
I’ll go first:
“Hi I’m Amy. I’m too ambitious 🤝”
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Here’s the full video of Liz Cambage v Nigeria. She starts some pushing and shoving at the start but it really blows up at the 5-minute mark. Has plenty to say, gets punched, and look at how her teammates want nothing to do with it. They’re SO done.
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There are three certainties in life. Death, taxes, and dealing with the losers and the haters every summer.
#ashes
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BIG MARCUS STOINIS LOOK AT THE LEVERS ON HIM
Street photography w/ these beautiful Australian Couple 🙌
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#streetphotography
#portrait
#sonyalpha
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This is absolutely incredible. Now look at this pic from that night hahahahahahahaha
Check out Liam Gallagher talking about meeting Maradona in Argentina.
Legendary...
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well this is embarrassing for you isn’t it champion
@stevesmithffx
Not sure you're in a position to talk, pal!
#Cheat
#Sandpaper
#Disgrace
#ShouldBeBannedForLife
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Smudge, what the hell is this. Let me do these announcements.
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If it’s an Australian batsman: He’s out. Rules are rules sorry.
If he’s an English batsman: Not out. How very dare you even suggest such a thing. He’s playing entertaining cricket and it just wouldn’t be in the spirit of the game to dismiss someone like that.
What do we make of this one then?
Toby Roland-Jones won't want to see that dismissal again 🫣
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[cracks knuckles] they’ll never know the difference!
Shout out to anyone* in Melbourne that wants a game of cricket tomorrow night. My team is struggling to get 11 covid free, fit players on the park. Warm up starts at 6.30pm at Marvel Stadium.
Free beer afterwards, potentially out of a large cup.
DM if keen
*no test cricketers
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“… and as we had become a team that have been so unbelievably well followed and will live long in the memories of those who have watched us, there was no need to win the Ashes.”
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you have my ETERNAL sympathies
I wish the people of Australia would look at my profile and realize I’m a 30 yr old black man before sending me tweets and DMs.
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LMAOOOOOOOO
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@RexChapman
remember how you said Americans were kinda dumb sometimes.
[heavy sigh]
Yeah, so are we 🤦♂️
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Thanks Shan. I’ve never cheated during a Test match and I’m glad people are finally realising this.
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OH COME ON
Take a screenshot and the cricketer you get is your quarantine partner 👥
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I think that’s very harsh mate. Surely Team USA would win one game?
If an NBA team with a starting 5 of KD/Lillard/Tatum/Beal/Draymond played another NBA team of Patty Mills/Dellavedova/Ingles/Thybulle/
#15
in a 7 game series no one would pick anything but a sweep.
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As a disgraced cricketer I fully endorse any and all mankads.
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A year ago I woke up to this. It was all downhill from there. Good times online.
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Shoes and haircuts are the same as women’s health. I am very smart.
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“regardless of the actual murder, you really gotta feel for the murder suspect, he’s a victim too”. Jesus Christ dude.
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Me to everyone sending me abuse at the height of the ball-tampering crisis
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The plot twist at the end here has got me hooting and hollering
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you were locked down for [checks notes] one (1) day. Thoughts and prayers.
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Superb catch. Not sure what Gill is filthy about. Fingers under it. Cry more.
#WTC23Final
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This man was born before we walked on the moon and is still splashing buckets. Unreal.
Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf with the ball fake & jumper in
@TheBIG3
.
Reminder: HE’S 50 YEARS OLD!!!
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We’re so used to stuff like this we just take for granted that Bron is on a whole different level to almost every other player of his generation. This is a creative genius in his element.
Assist of the Night: LeBron to Danny Green! 👀
“I had to get it to him some way, somehow.”
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Appealing you say? You’ve actually seen the video yeah? Have some goddamn shame. Hope he gets the suspension doubled just for wasting everyone’s time.
The Sydney Sixers and all-rounder Tom Curran have tonight confirmed their intention to lodge an appeal against the 4-match sanction handed down under the Cricket Australia Code of Conduct.
Read the full statement via
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can’t park there mate
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Someone is about to get their rent paid for a year
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Oh me? I’m just thinking about that time
@TheMatildas
defeated France and made the World Cup semis
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“… and as we will go down in history as one of the most exciting and proactive teams to go out there and represent England, there was no need to defend the World Cup.”
#CWC23
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If there were a “Sports Twitter” Hall of Fame, honoring the best sports-related tweets of all time, what would be your nominee?
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every day I wonder if people on this cursed website can get any stupider and every day I’m proven wrong
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Not a single word for Heritier Lumumba. Unsurprisingly so. Disgraceful isn’t a strong enough descriptor. Bye.
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