Hax$
@ssbmhax
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found old pictures of when i got 2nd at a pokemon tournament in 2006 lol
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can't believe they staged an entire tournament just so captain falcon could win. sad lol.
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visited my aunt and she had a picture of twitch chat rooting for me hung up on her wall. protect her at all costs
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mfw i spend 2 years researching all the coordinates in the game just to get 3-0'd by this dumbass
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won enough melee tournaments this year to be able to afford this meal. grateful for the opportunities this game has given me
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top 2 at smash factor once again. much love to mexico for the opportunity
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y’all ever stop to think about how axe really rolls up to melee tournaments and fucks all of us up with pikachu lmao what a god.
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imagine picking a career where this guy decides whether you can pay the rent or not
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bloodshed, white supremacy, and police brutality. no wonder our flag is red white and blue.
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melee players be like "the b0xx should be banned" while their S.O. forces them to enter teams together and go 0-2. you worried about the wrong controller.
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if she's never left her gamecube on overnight to unlock mewtwo she's too young for you bro.
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mom: you're going to big house next week right?. me: no i'm going to summit. mom: but isn't summit in a big house?. me: yeah but big house is the name of a different tournament. mom: oh ok. wait is that the one where you played mango.
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mom: don’t you think you were being awfully harsh to some of the players the other day on commentary?. me: no mom, in this community i have an alter ego called “hax fucking money.” people understand that it’s often him speaking, not me. mom: oh that’s fucking smart.
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can someone tell Trump you can build walls in Fortnite so that he changes his opinion about video games.
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to stay motivated at genesis i brought 3 pairs of pants with me and i told myself i had to unlock each tier of pants as the weekend went on. from left to right: Day 1 Pants, Day 2 Pants, Top 8 Pants. highly recommend this strategy
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Life Update (explicit content). To my friends and fans from the Melee community, . I first off want to thank everyone for the tremendous amount of support that I’ve received recently. I’ve truly been grateful for everyone who has tuned into my content, sent me a positive message,.
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yesterday on the train home from nightclub i said to my friend, "this is the first time i've taken the train home from a tournament in 3 years". the guy sitting across from us then said, "bro they just released me from jail. this is my first time riding the train in 7 years".
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fox players will hit one good firefox angle and think they're pythagoras.
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in late 2005, D1 was the first person whose house i ever went over to play melee. his welcoming personality made me feel that i had found the right community. even though we've grown distant in recent years, i still remember those days. farewell to my childhood role model.
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at summit 9. hax f $: fox marth is 50-50. @ArmadaUGS: i actually think it's slightly marth favored these days. hax f $: yeah you're retired for a reason.
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Mango is a straight up jerk; I get the chance to play him in tournament like twice a year and he picks joke characters. So BM.
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just found out that they removed jigglypuff from pokemon sword/shield. woke.
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they thought i'd never pick up falcon again. 7 years later, they were wrong.
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melee really is the most degen game of all time. name another game where people will train for 2 months then take a 6 hour flight just so they can miss a ledgedash and lose a best of 3 set.
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just walked into nintendo world and saw exactly what i wasn’t trying to see
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fox mains when you tell them they play the best character in the game
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Playing Netplay is like touching yourself while watching porn. But playing on Netplay with rollback is like having that certain someone touching you.
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actually was written because you're a psychopath who harasses people for a living and gets away with it for being good at a video game. you're getting fucked up on the first day back btw
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on the bright side the coronavirus has already inspired thousands of smashers to wash their hands for the very first time in their lives.
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fox is best played with a deep scientific understanding of melee. falco is best played with 2 percs and a 40.
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doing a B0XX giveaway to celebrate my Genesis 7 run! . like/rt this post + follow @EvenMatchup and @ssbmhax to enter the running. one lucky winner will have the latest model of the B0XX shipped to their door :D
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yesterday someone followed me from the electronics store to the train and got on the same cart as me. we eyed each other multiple times during the ride as i kept my guard up. then after a few minutes, he waved at me and said "yo, are you hax fucking money?".
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i secretly hope hbox stays the best player so that if i win a major with the b0xx someday people are cool with it cause if i ever knock mango out of evo or genesis i'll probably get shot.
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if you're new to melee don't waste your time practicing wavedashes or L-cancels. the most important tech in this game is being able to find fox on the character select screen.
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tomorrow I'm having wrist surgery that will determine if I can keep playing SSBM. regardless of the outcome I'll persevere.
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sent scar a surprise gift for his son. failed to realize it's meant for a grown man's head
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yesterday at nebs some kid who was baked as hell walked up to me and asked “holy shit are you hax$? i came here hoping to find you.” i said “nah haha i get asked that a lot though. he doesn’t show up here much anymore.” he then apologized and left the venue.
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i've decided to shut down Hax's Nightclub for the time being so that my friends can prioritize their health. i'm crying for the first time in years. paradise came and went
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Reddit is claiming that Hbox dropped not one, but TWO sets to a Falcon player yesterday. Comical! Don’t believe everything you read on the internet!.
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the next time i catch pokemon stadium turning into the fire transformation i’m turning ur venue into a fire transformation.
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on the plane home and it just hit me that summit was an irreplaceable experience. as someone who doesn’t netplay anymore, this trip was the only time i’ve ever been able to train with exclusively the best of the best for that many days straight. hope to be there again next time.
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when u order white rice, brown rice, extra black beans, extra pinto beans, extra sour cream, and extra cheese and the cashier asks you why you did this
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does anyone have the download link to the unclepunch training mode iso that lets you practice talking to women.
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my opponent just dropped game 1 of a tourney set on a gamecube controller then counterpicked me with a b0xx lol.
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what if salem didn't shake hands with armada because he didn't want to spread COVID.
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ahhh it feels so good to be hax fucking money again. couldn't stand being hax for that long.
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if you don’t have arthritis, congratulations. your opinions on melee don’t count.
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“the B0XX increases accessibility” yeah access to grand finals winner’s side.
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waking up to news of gun violence in America feels like the norm at this point. our government is truly a failure.
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my entire youtube channel just got flagged as "made for kids". if you happen to see a 5 year old with a gamecube controller and a soldering iron that's not on me.
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my new phone autocorrected 20XX to 2020 and i've never felt so disrespected.
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they call me the bernie sanders of melee. why? because i create opportunities for people at HNC, i give people job security with the B0XX, and i've never won a national.
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well, it looks like today is my birthday. it would mean a lot if everyone could say “fox” in the replies.
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ping pong crew battle champs at summit: $340 each. 5th at evo for melee: definitely not $340 each.
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